DIW 2023: The Secret Millionaire

[AboardTheArk]

Blitz being poached makes the Barracudas split retroactively make more sense for anyone who doesn't know your plans and would be skeptical for the program. I also don't think you're losing too much in terms of where the story was, but obviously Blitz is really good and helps anchor some shows on his own, the grades will be missed. Would be interesting to see you retaliate!

 

The show was very fun, I am always for building new traditions and another main event had a fun writeup.

 

Recently I checked out the australian C-Verse in 2022 and I gotta say, you've been working some miracles all this time. Hell, I haven't gotten a 69 match with two of my permanent wrestlers yet.

[619]

Really thought-provoking comments, thanks a lot.

@John Lions I like the idea it could be a blessing in disguise: with Edwards and Blitz performing at such a high level, it was tempting to lean on them, so this was a good reminder of the need to build others up rather than depend on one or two wrestlers who could leave at any time.

@AboardTheArk Likewise, I like your logic that the Barracudas conflict inadvertentlly helped prepare our fans for what's happened. Thanks for the kind words but I think it's Edwards working the miracles rather than anything I'm doing: the two 69s were outliers. Everything else has been 65 or under and no match without him has scored more than 60, so my limitations will be even more exposed when it's his turn to go.

Part 38: What could’ve been

So that was that. After 13-and-a-half years, five Tag Title reigns and one very short run as DIW Champion in 2020, Blitz Simpson had left for CEW, where he’d reportedly earn over three times what we were paying him. Despite their long and strong working relationship, The Comedian refused to let me rival CEW's offer. Alongside Rob Edwards, he was our most popular and impressive fighter, and had been a significant part of our plans for the final third of the year and beyond.

The original idea for Extreme Life had been for him to again try to tempt Vaughan into a match, this time getting him to accept with the stipulation that the winner would get the next DIW Title shot and the loser would never be able to challenge again. He was then going to beat the five-time champion at Damage Control, before dethroning Edwards at War Machine in December with Vaughan falling in line behind him as new Barracudas figurehead to help him triumph.

Blitz had only ever been DIW Champion for a month and never successfully defended the title, so the plan was to finally and firmly establish him in the role. Instead, we needed to identify someone different to conquer Edwards and take The Barracudas’ implosion angle in a different direction.

I thought we’d done a reasonable job of correcting course at Extreme Life. Yes, it was pretty absurd to have a second Barracudas triple threat as an unannounced show opener – don’t ask who gave Vaughan the authority to create a contender-or-fired stipulation on the spot either – though if you’re going to hotshot like that, the opening minutes of your first WrestleWorld show is probably the best place for that.

But we’d at least succeeded in sending Blitz out on his back, hopefully creating intrigue over the future direction of The Barracudas by having Vaughan cede some control to Chopper Rourke having previously been reluctant to do the same for Blitz, and continuing what we’d started the month before with Dexter Mattell involving himself in Barracuda business, with Vaughan and Chopper’s unwillingness to support Blitz confirming his banishment.

I did wonder if the Mattell run-in was a bit too much: Blitz was willing to leave looking up at the lights, so was it excessive to have him beaten down on top of that, but he didn’t grumble.

I didn’t view him as someone we could go out and hire a direct replacement for, though the one potential positive I did see to the situation was it strengthening my position in the locker room. The Barracudas were my most vocal critics and, with Chopper and Vaughan past their prime, Blitz was fuelling their power. I’d continue to find them intimidating, but it was no longer essential to keep them sweet, and The Comedian’s bias towards them might also diminish now he knew that he couldn’t guarantee they were DIW lifers.

The boss made a pretty stiff remark after the show, saying that by dividing them in the ring, I’d shown them and our competitors they could be split up outside of it as well. Despite that, he was still calmer about it all than me. He’d seen loads of top blokes walk, whereas this was my first as booker, and he told me matter-of-factly that this is what happens: we make someone, they bugger off and we get stronger.

Besides, I couldn’t grumble as even the biggest companies were catching bad breaks, with Aussie wrestling’s top draw Swoop Dogg tearing his Achilles and due to miss a year for RAW and CEW’s Heath Murdock tragically dying in a road accident aged 34.

[christmas_ape]

Poor Heath... 

Just to chime in on the Blitz comments, you essentially say it yourself above but I think it all happening on the first ever Wrestleworld show helped it. I'm picturing a new viewer (I suppose a bit like myself as I didn't read the prequel to this or have much knowledge at all of the roster) who might not fully understand the importance of the split but it's still an obviously huge moment that kickstarts the wrestleworld era and builds intrigue in Chopper and Vaughan going forward.

[619]

Thanks @christmas_ape, that's another great point. We only had 300 fans at our earlier shows watching Blitz Simpson outwork everyone except Rob Edwards, whereas over 11,000 mostly new viewers have seen him look like a loser and then leave, so that's now the dominant perception.

Part 39: Loss

The numbers were in and they didn’t make for great reading. The increased production costs required to get on WrestleWorld Australia had resulted in a $7,323 loss in September.

Our wider financial position meant we could afford to take that monthly hit for 22 straight years and stay in business, so it was fair to say it wasn’t an immediate concern but, having taken pride in our profitability until this point, I still felt uneasy about it. Knowing 11,696 had seen my latest show as booker, compared to 261 my first last January, was pretty cool though.

Blitz Simpson wasn’t the only wrestler who wouldn’t be with the company by the time Damage Control came around. Mr. Orange had decided to walk, which was understandable given how much of an afterthought The Warriors had become to me since separating from Mr. Pink. There was a fair chance I’d ask Mr. Green to follow shortly. A 38-year-old heavy smoker and drinker with no stamina didn’t stand much chance of making a singles breakthrough.

So there was an opening for an experienced lower-card tag team to make our stars look good and I had a good idea who could fill it. The only problem was that they were yet more APW alumni, albeit from a long, long time ago, and I didn’t know if the boss would stomach eight straight recruits with history there.

However, that was a problem for another day as the card for our second WrestleWorld broadcast, Damage Control 2023, was set. Every title would be defended as Lloyd Banks tried to regain the Australian Title from Wrecker, The Benchmark went after Cesar Sionis and Gyula Lakatos’ Tag Titles and Chopper Rourke challenged DIW Champion Rob Edwards, while we were also promoting Milton Hittlespitz v Con McReady.

[619]

Part 40: Damage Control 2023

Tag Titles: The Benchmark (Donovan Boon and Rusty Mills) v Ares Death Cult (Cesar Sionis and Gyula Lakatos) (c)
Again, I adopted the approach of opening the show with a major attraction to try to hook first-time DIW viewers on WrestleWorld Australia in. The Benchmark have been an instant hit for us – only Rob Edwards is more popular at the moment – but their first title challenge brought about their first defeat. I’d cost my blokes the six-person against the same opponents last month by running from Momoe Hamuera, so it was time to make it up to them. I jumped on the apron as The Benchmark set Cesar up for a Double Down, jumping back down before Boon could get to me. He turned into Cesar’s Running Knee Side-Swipe and Mills was Choke Bomb-ed by Gyula before he could break up the fall.

Hendrix Hughes and Seb Shaw greeted us on the ramp, cigarettes in hand, saying that they were over us trying to look past them, so now they weren’t going to let us pass. Cesar and Gyula were happy to throw fists, but Hughes escalated things by stubbing his ciggie in Cesar’s eye. They then catapulted Gyula into the unsighted Cesar, Shaw still holding his ciggie, before Hughes shoved the titles into my arms and told me to enjoy them while I still could.

Australian Title: Wrecker (c) v Lloyd Banks
I let Shawn take care of Gyula so I accompanied Banks instead as he attempted to reclaim the Australian Title. This was a hardcore brawl hindered by the fact we couldn’t really top a Mighty Bulldog onto a barbed wire board as a finish. So instead we went for a finisher switcheroo: Banks tried to Bulldog Wrecker onto a chair, but the champion reversed into a Back Drop at the last moment, then used his opponent’s Piledriver against him, landing it on the chair.

As if I didn’t have enough to deal with, Markus Rush arrived. He said I could only run from Momoe Hamuera for so long. She wanted a one-on-one match with me at War Machine. He knew I was too much of a coward to accept that straight up, so to sweeten the deal he proposed that we both add a stipulation each, and advised me to go away and think about what it would take to find some courage.

Milton Hittlespitz v Con McReady
Milton finally got one over on The Wild Things here after being cheated out of the DIW Title by Seth Wish at Hardcore Hallelujah and pinned by him in the handicap match at Extreme Life. After getting caned when lining up a Flying Knee Drop at both shows, Crazy Blue finally struck first, surprising Wish at ringside with a Flying Dropkick before he could ambush him, and then returning to the turnbuckle to finish McReady in the ring with his signature move.

Milton successfully thwarted the first ambush, but wasn’t prepared for the second as Wish got to work on him with his cane after the bell, propping him up for McReady to get some retribution for his defeat with an Iron Fist.

Carl Paris v Mr. Pink
Mr. Pink’s decision to abandon Wrecker in a show of solidarity with Ares Death Cult had worked out better for his former partner than himself so far. His fortunes seemed to be improving a little though as his Pink Thunder Bomb achieved a confident victory over his teenaged opponent Paris. Sean Quartermainne on commentary informed us that this was the first time all year he’d won consecutive matches.

SQ walked to the ring next, explaining that he was conducting a pre-match interview with Kobra Khan. In an unsubtle attempt to stir up trouble, he asked where Kobra was when Milton was getting attacked by The Wild Things earlier. The masked man calmly answered that he was probably in the same place Milton was in when they were attacking him at Hardcore Hallelujah. He said he had no issues with Crazy Blue – they’d always gotten on – but right now it was time to focus on himself, and specifically getting some gold back around his scales.

Kobra Khan v Mr. Green
I’d booked him fairly strongly most of the time, but I found myself wondering after the previous segment if I’d ever really given Kobra Khan material or storylines that brought the best out of his character. Thankfully, we were a bit more skilled at spotlighting what he had to offer in the ring, and a Small Package Driver earned him another win here. Mr. Orange’s recent departure was half-referenced on-screen, with SQ noting we hadn’t seen him for a while and asking if he’d finally joined the circus, with The Comedian deadpanning “or another Aussie wrestling company, same thing really”.

After that match, we saw a cackling Death Ref grab a cameraman working near the entranceway and demand that he followed him. He led the cameraman quietly to the corner of a corridor, from where Chopper Rourke and Vaughan could be seen in a heated conversation. The gist appeared to be that Chopper wouldn’t let Vaughan pull the same crap on him that he did to Blitz Simpson at Massacre, warning him not to go anywhere near the ring tonight. Though they combined to banish Blitz last month, the remaining Barracudas clearly weren’t over their issues.

The focus shifted back to ringside and Dexter Mattell, who laughed at what we’d all just seen. He said that since joining DIW, he was enjoying destroying everything DIW fans seemed to love but to him were every bit as cheap and tasteless as the people cheering them. First, he helped end Milton’s love affair with the DIW Title, arguing he’d never been the same since. Next, he set his sights on finishing The Barracudas, but he claimed they were ruining his fun by doing his job for him. So while there was still something left of them, he wanted Vaughan in the ring next month.

DIW Title: Chopper Rourke v Rob Edwards (c)
Chopper made the traditional Barracuda entrance through the crowd. SQ pondered whether it had any significance, to which The Comedian weighed in “who gives a crap?”. Chopper used his power advantage well in the opening two minutes, taking Edwards off his feet with two slams and then out of the ring with a third. However, once The Human Weapon grounded Chopper for the first time, the match became surprisingly one-sided, and the champion connected with the decisive Roundhouse Kick after just six minutes. SQ mused that while The Barracudas were self-destructing, Edwards and Ares Death Cult had never looked stronger, speculating that the rest of the locker room must be terrified.

[christmas_ape]

42 minutes ago, 619 said:

Mr. Orange’s recent departure was half-referenced on-screen, with SQ noting we hadn’t seen him for a while and asking if he’d finally joined the circus, with The Comedian deadpanning “or another Aussie wrestling company, same thing really”.

Perfect

[AboardTheArk]

Edwards killing Chopper is great. Some nice details in the segments this week, loved the Badass MFers, who are a super over act with me, getting to look this badass. Kobra Khan getting stuff to do is also great. And Dexter's promo tied everything he was doing these few months together. 

 

Wondering if The Benchmark carried a good rating out of the pretty okay otherwise Death Cult.

[619]

You guessed correctly @AboardTheArk. Benchmark-Death Cult was a 64, way above any other non-Edwards match I've ever booked (and indeed 5 better than Edwards' own Damage Control match against Chopper).

Part 41: An unhappy birthday

It happened again. The same raiding company. The same needlessly restrictive spending caps from the boss. And the same outcome: a main-event talent leaving us for CEW. I’m not ready to write about this one yet. It still doesn’t feel real. So I’ll wait until after Chaos Engine to go into it.

I tried not to let it sour my 33rd birthday meal with Shawn, Tatum and Dexter Mattell and a few other friends. That was the hard part about now being in a leadership role and socialising with colleagues: I couldn’t engage in workplace gossip as eagerly as I once did, and didn’t want my concern creeping into the locker room. So instead I kept the DIW chat to the fact our second WrestleWorld broadcast had outperformed the first, with the financial results a little better too.

We’d announced four things in advance of Chaos Engine, our penultimate show of the year: Vaughan taking on Dexter Mattell, Cesar Sionis and Gyula Lakatos granting Two Badass MFers a title shot out of fury at last month’s attack, my response to Momoe Hamuera’s challenge and Seth Wish being interviewed by Sean Quartermainne about his issues with Milton Hittlespitz.

I was really pleased by how our final two shows of 2022 brought all our main stories to a head. The disruption of the CEW talent raids made me less confident of delivering such an impactful sign-off that tied multiple story threads together this year, but hopefully we still had enough built up to close the year with two enjoyable shows at least.

[619]

Part 42: Four out, four in

If you were keeping count (and even I was finding it tough), we suddenly found ourselves four men down. Blitz Simpson had gone to CEW, Mr. Orange had decided to leave, I’d decided Mr. Green wasn’t worth keeping without him, and another main eventer had told me he was joining CEW (sorry, I’m still not ready to get into it yet).

I wasn’t going to bring someone on Blitz’s level in straight away: even with our secret millions, I didn’t want to rush into big-money signings, preferring to plan things out to get the right bloke and put him in the right angle. I thought we had enough star power in the locker room already to see us through the final two shows of the year at the very least.

I had identified a veteran tag team to replace The Warriors. I didn’t see them getting to the top of the card – though The Benchmark had far exceeded my expectations so it couldn’t be ruled out – but I was confident they were an upgrade on The Warriors both in terms of ability and stamina, so they’d hopefully be able to hang with our younger duos.

There was a singles wrestler I wasn’t quite as confident about who I planned to bring in for a trial at War Machine and judge from the crowd reaction if he was worth keeping around. Someone on my shortlist who we weren’t likely to be hiring any time soon was Billy Kennedy. Our new colour commentator Sean Quartermainne told me that his protégé Debonair David Peterson, who was booking APW, was finding him a nightmare to deal with, even supposedly being sent threatening messages. I never knew how easy I had it dealing with The Barracudas.

Anyway, the fourth signing. We didn’t desperately need a full-time replacement for Lou Brookmyre as road agent with The Comedian and Rusty Mills sharing the workload, but when an ideal candidate for the role emerged, I couldn’t resist. Shawn told me that Classy Paul Massey was leaving ZEN after 15-and-a-half years and how highly regarded he was in New Zealand. And if there’s one thing I’m a sucker for, it’s older bald men from New Zealand.

If everything worked out, it would mean a reduced workload for the boss and Mills to give them more time to dedicate to their respective announcing and in-ring responsibilities. If it didn’t, well, we knew we had enough already in our locker room to get by, I’d just have to remember not to chew Shawn out for giving me a bad recommendation this time.

[619]

Part 43: Chaos before Chaos Engine

Someone was indeed getting chewed out the day of Chaos Engine but it wasn’t Shawn, it was me, and I didn’t really have a leg to stand on. I’d only realised on the afternoon of the show that the bloke leaving us for CEW (yes, you guessed it, now more than ever I’m really not ready to talk about it yet) wasn’t going to be available as he was appearing for them instead.

I took the abrupt decision to call the show off a few hours before admission opened, followed by the even more reckless act of rescheduling it for the very next day. I knew we’d still get the fans as there was enough demand at Marv’s right now that even if a hundred or so of the people who planned to show on Friday couldn’t on Saturday, there would be others to take their place.

Even the dialogue with WrestleWorld Australia wasn’t quite as uncomfortable as I’d initially expected. I think because our viewing figures had slightly exceeded their projections so far, they were more flexible than they might otherwise have been, and perhaps intrigued to see how our audience carried over to a Saturday night.

But hastily arranging a video call with the roster to ask them to cancel any Saturday night plans they’d made, rescheduling their weekends around my incompetence and a colleague who no longer wished to work with them, that surely shattered whatever credibility I’d been building up. I could imagine Chopper Rourke and Vaughan laughing it up with Blitz Simpson after the call.

The boss was furious and it was understandable. The only time he’d ever closed things down was when he lost all his champions and a few other big names within weeks of one another seven years ago. Even then he never cancelled a show on the day, so he found doing it for one bloke ridiculous.

He asked me if I hadn’t listened to anything he said when Blitz left. We don’t sell the loss, we stick our middle fingers up and say we’re going to do even better without them. By moving a show for one bloke, we were selling bigger than Mayhem Mulhoney used to sell for his Running Powerslam. Was I imagining it or was I seeing a sensitive side to the boss, an admission that the defiance was a way of hiding his hurt? All I can say with certainty is there was no way I was brave enough to ask him that question at that moment.

Instead, I applied what I’d learnt from him. He found defiance reassuring, so I was going to sound as defiant and confident as I could, whether I believed it or not. I said I knew things looked bad today, but the second we put on a great show tomorrow night, the whole rescheduling fiasco would quickly be forgotten about. And I wasn’t doing this because I thought that bloke was so important to us, I was doing it to make sure that traitor went out on his back and did right by the blokes committed enough to our cause to change their weekends for us.

I don’t think it was enough to win me forgiveness, but it bought me some time at least.

[christmas_ape]

That's definitely a tough call. I can see both sides, I imagine maybe I'd have gone with The Comedian here and ran the show but then again if it's who I fear it is then perhaps you had no other choice. This war chest might have to be broken into!

[619]

I agree @christmas_ape that the right decision in terms of business/professionalism was running the show without the CEW recruit and taking the punishment for carelessly missing their unavailability. It was booker selfishness really to prioritise giving someone an in-ring write-off over the wider interests of the company and roster, and I got lucky that the game hasn't punished me more harshly for it.

Part 44: Chaos Engine 2023

The Benchmark (Donovan Boon and Rusty Mills) v Crime Wave (D.O.A. and Switchblade)
For the second month in a row, The Benchmark opened the show. For the second month in a row, they stole it. Sean Quartermainne tried to put over their debuting opponents’ history, including three fairly recent SHA Hardcore Tag Team title reigns, but The Comedian claimed the network wouldn’t tolerate such blasphemy to wrestling’s good name. Crime Wave showed they could hang with one of our top teams, though tiredness cost them in the end. D.O.A. was a second too late with his Superkick, connecting with the turnbuckle instead, and The Benchmark capitalised with the Double Down for the win.

DIW Champion Rob Edwards was out next and ran down everybody he had beaten across eight successful title defences in 2023, saying the only thing left to decide was who he’d beat to celebrate the one-year anniversary of his title reign at War Machine. Kobra Khan answered the call but Edwards asked didn’t he beat him already. Kobra said yes, he’d actually lost his last two title shots, but you’d never guess who the last person to recover from consecutive unsuccessful challenges to win at the third attempt at War Machine was, with The Comedian helpfully pointing out he was talking about Edwards. And just as that person was granted another opportunity because of a lengthy winning record, Kobra too had gone unbeaten in singles action since his April defeat to Edwards. But, unlike Edwards, he was happy to earn his shot, so tonight he’d face whichever Ares Death Cult member The Human Weapon preferred to prove his worth.

Saracens (Cueball and Tank) v The Wild Things (Con McReady and Seth Wish)
This was an expected and accomplished victory for The Wild Things. The only surprise was that, whereas you’d assume the primary function of the match was to build up Wish, who the commentators emphasised was facing Milton Hittlespitz at War Machine, he tagged in Con McReady while in control to let him get the glory courtesy of an Iron Fist to Cueball.

Sean Quartermainne came to the ring after the bell for his advertised interview with Wish. He started by asking what the deal was: was Wish acting under Ares Death Cult’s orders in taking Milton out? Wish said he was sick of hearing that. This had nothing to do with the Cult and everything to do with the fact that ever since he’d arrived in DIW, he’d had to listen to everyone telling him he was the new Milton. About a year ago, he decided he’d had enough. He didn’t want to be the new Milton, patronised by these fans, fighting hard but always ultimately ending up on his back, just like Milton had done every time they’d been face to face recently. Wish was showing the world that you could be smaller than the competition but still stand tall and, when he took Milton out next month, nobody would be calling him Crazy Blue II, as they’d know he’d already surpassed him. At this point, Milton made his entrance and clearly wanted a preview of War Machine, but Wish lurked behind Quartermainne, using the commentator as a shield while McReady stood guard with a cane, telling Crazy Blue to hold off until next month.

Milton Hittlespitz v Carl Paris
Like The Wild Things, Milton made sure that he was heading to War Machine on winning form. It was clear Wish had got in his head from the pause he took before landing his Flying Knee Drop, surveying the scene waiting for Wish or McReady to strike, but this time they stayed true to their word about waiting until next month, which enabled Crazy Blue to complete his victory.

Death Ref had found the same cameraman as at Damage Control and directed him towards robust discussions between The Barracudas. Vaughan was lobbying Chopper Rourke to join him at ringside for his match against Dexter Mattell to send Raw Sex a message that nobody messes with The Barracudas, only for Chopper to tell him to take care of his own business.

Vaughan v Dexter Mattell
The five-time DIW Champion gave Mattell a hardcore initiation here, wearing him down with a chair, a pipe and, most crowd-pleasingly, a trash can. It was the weapon that Mattell introduced that turned the match though: a lengthy wire which he used to first trip the powerhouse, then tie him up, then whip him and then really cinch in his STF. Sensing Vaughan wasn’t going to submit, Mattell stopped Tatum calling the bell, instead releasing the hold and disrespectfully covering his lifeless body in an exaggerated, borderline X-rated way for a reluctant three count.

Momoe Hamuera’s representative Markus Rush invited me out next to confirm our respective stipulations for a match at War Machine. I made it clear there was only one way I was entering the ring with the New Zealand rugby international again and that was with a guarantee that if Momoe lost, she was done with DIW. Rush said Momoe’s stipulation was simple. She didn’t want me to run off again, so this was going to be a cage match. Apparently I had no idea this was going to happen, my work as a booker not enlightening me to the decades of history dictating that whenever a heel ran away too much, they got locked in a cage, looking stunned and quickly retreating to try to figure out what the hell I was going to do. As I walked off, Rush called back to me that he forgot to tell me one other thing: Momoe was here tonight. Sure enough, I turned right back into her, being effortlessly hoisted up and dropped down on the ramp with a Sin Bin.

Kobra Khan v Lloyd Banks
There wasn’t much mystery over which Ares Death Cult member would face Kobra Khan as Cesar Sionis and Gyula Lakatos had a title defence coming up. SQ pointed out that Banks took the Australian Title from Kobra 11 months ago, and now he had a chance to cost him a DIW Title shot too, while The Comedian highlighted that Banks was alone for a change with Death Ref checking in on me out the back after Hamuera’s attack. The boss won this debate with his announce partner as Kobra got his win back by wiping Banks out with his Ripcord Knee as he charged at him with barbed wire. He mimed wrapping a title around his waist while celebrating.

As we waited for the main event entrances, Mr. Pink made a beeline for the ring. He told his former partner Wrecker that they were overdue a one-on-one match together to confirm which of them had won the Wrecking Crew break-up. The Australian Champion kept his reply short, simply stating that this was an opportunity he’d been waiting for.

Tag Titles: Two Badass MFers (Hendrix Hughes and Seb Shaw) v Ares Death Cult (Cesar Sionis and Gyula Lakatos) (c)
Hughes and Shaw’s hopes of making it third time lucky against Ares Death Cult got off to a terrible start, with Cesar and Gyula taking turns to dominate the early minutes. Two Badass MFers fought their way back into it though and Hughes appeared to have it won for his team when he took Gyula down with a Fireman’s Carry Bulldog, only for Cesar to break up the fall at the final moment. Shaw tagged in and introduced one of the Tag Titles, but got struck with the Blood Sacrifice as he swung it. Hughes broke up a certain fall with a Fireman’s Carry Bulldog to Cesar on top of the covering Gyula. Gyula retaliated with a Choke Bomb on Hughes and picked up the title. Shaw ducked though and Gyula cracked Cesar in the head, before turning into a Spinning Brainbuster that gave Shaw the win and Two Badass MFers back their titles.

As Two Badass MFers disappeared into the crowd to light up among their fans, Cesar and Gyula got into an uncharacteristic shoving match. Death Ref, Lloyd Banks and Rob Edwards raced into the ring to separate them and try to calm tensions, only for Edwards to suddenly drop Gyula. There was a split second of confusion before Cesar, Banks, Edwards and Shawn all started laying boots into the grounded Gyula. When he finally got to his feet, Cesar and Banks combined to hit Gyula with a Blood Sacrifice: his and Cesar’s own move. Death Ref finally ordered everyone to stop, raising Edwards, Banks and Cesar’s arms as the newly trimmed Cult showed its strength.

[619]

Part 45: Gyula-less Cesar

Okay, let’s do this. Gyula Lakatos had left us for CEW. Yes, my Gyula. The one I broke into the DIW main event picture with. The bloke I made myself a heat magnet for by crowning him DIW Champion on my first night with the book. And, more importantly, my friend.

While this one hurt a bit more personally than Blitz Simpson did, I initially thought it wouldn’t be as problematic professionally. The plan was always for him and Cesar Sionis to drop the Tag Titles to Two Badass MFers at War Machine, so we’d just bring that forward a month and push Milton v Seth Wish back. Easy, or at least it was until that sudden discovery that Gyula couldn’t work that date.

Of course that was my fault for being careless and complacent, but I still felt he could’ve helped me out a bit more. When the topic first came up, he told me he’d try to get permission to work the show and do business the right way. He could’ve made it clearer to me sooner that Gerard Knights wasn’t going to do me any favours. But again, I probably should’ve figured that out myself.

It was Cesar I felt most sorry for. As a short-tempered pessimist in our locker room, you were one of two things: an outsider, or the boss. And yet in the last year or two, I felt like he’d found a sense of belonging after Shawn and I joined up with him and Gyula, and he’d been a much calmer presence in that time.

I could tell it had hit him hard because he didn’t even smile when I teased him about a new Roman general gimmick as Gyula-less Cesar. I mean who wouldn’t pop for that line?

But my concern for Cesar was mixed in with some paranoia. If Gyula could leave, what was to stop Cesar from doing the same, especially if given the chance to work with his closest friend?

That was probably the greatest lesson to take from the Gyula situation: if my long-term friend who I’d helped become DIW Champion could leave, anyone could, maybe even Shawn. And with that miserable thought, my journey to becoming The Comedian was a step closer to completion.

[christmas_ape]

I love the idea that anybody who is in the position will eventually turn out like The Comedian, that perhaps prior to DIW he held no cynicism and was nothing but a joy to be around. 

[619]

Part 46: 2023’s final card

Last December’s War Machine was probably my favourite show so far as booker. There was just something so fulfilling about ending the year with a main event that had been built up since the start of it, and I was pleased to thread all the year’s leading stories together across the show.

The crowning of Blitz Simpson and Two Badass MFers were meant to be centrepieces of this year’s finale: journeys that started in January finally being paid off in December. Instead, Blitz had gone – at least we’d delivered the Barracudas triple threat and a main event against Rob Edwards before it was too late – and we had to move Two Badass MFers’ coronation forward a month because of Gyula Lakatos following Blitz to CEW.

But, to look at the positive, while War Machine 2023 didn’t have the blockbuster main event of 2022, the card was probably stronger, or at least better built, with all five of the announced matches having a fairly fleshed out story behind them:

DIW Title: Kobra Khan v Rob Edwards (c)
It wasn’t the Blitz Simpson rematch I’d spent the first two-thirds of the year building up to, but the stakes were still high as The Human Weapon sought to become only the second man ever to complete a calendar year as DIW Champion and move within four months of Dumfrey Pinn’s record-breaking 16-month reign a decade earlier. The DIW Title had changed hands at War Machine in each of the last three years, though I sensed our fans weren’t convinced Kobra Khan could continue the sequence. He was 6-0 in singles competition since unsuccessfully challenging Edwards at Havoc though, and had the third most DIW singles title reigns (3) of any active DIW wrestler after Vaughan (5) and Edwards (4).

Milton Hittlespitz v Seth Wish
For Milton, this all started at Hardcore Hallelujah in August when Wish cost him the DIW Title, before pinning him in a handicap match a month later. For Wish on the other hand, this had been building up ever since he arrived in DIW in 2017, growing more and more frustrated by comparisons to the company’s original daredevil underdog. His initial assault on Crazy Blue appeared to have been engineered by Ares Death Cult, who were banned from interfering that night, but he later revealed his motivation to have been surpassing the two-time DIW Champion to put an end to the comparisons.

Australian Title: Wrecker (c) v Mr. Pink
As The Wrecking Crew, Wrecker and Mr. Pink were arguably the most successful DIW duo never to hold the Tag Titles, boasting a 7-2 record before Mr. Pink responded to Death Ref’s with-us-or-against-us warning by sacrificing Wrecker to Ares Death Cult at Hardcore Heatwave on their one-year anniversary as a team. The split had worked out better for Wrecker so far: he took the Australian Title off Lloyd Banks, while Mr. Pink spent more time taking bullets for Ares Death Cult. However, the clown-masked fighter was eager to get the last laugh on his former partner.

Chopper Rourke v Dexter Mattell
Mattell was only five matches into his DIW career, and yet he’d already defeated two former DIW Champions in Hittlespitz and Vaughan, and he was eager to add to his collection before the end of the year. As Raw Sex himself admitted, The Barracudas were making his job a lot easier. The gang hadn’t recovered from Vaughan’s shocking decision to stop Blitz Simpson winning the DIW Title in June, with Chopper caught in the crossfire soon after. It looked like Chopper and Vaughan had come to an understanding in September when they worked together to defeat Blitz on his last night in the company, but Chopper continued distancing himself from Vaughan.

Steel Cage: Momoe Hamuera v Lori
This match had been 13 months in the making, since the New Zealand rugby international debuted by taking me out. We’d been scheduled to fight twice since, with me forcing referee Tatum Richards to take my place the first time and running out of a six-person tag the second time. We’d finally agreed to a one-on-one match under the condition of both being allowed a stipulation each: mine was that Hamuera had to leave DIW once I beat her, hers was that the match take place in a cage to prevent me from escaping.

I wasn’t brave enough to pitch adding “Card subject to being pushed back 24 hours at a few hours’ notice” on the posters to the boss.

[John Lions]

DIW Title: Kobra Khan v Rob Edwards (c)
While I think Kobra would probably do fine with the title, he hasn't been a part of anything really meaningful in the grand scheme of things. His one major feud with Seth Wish felt like it was in a completely different world from the rest of the card. Plus, now that you are on a bigger broadcaster, there's a reason to run back Milton vs Edwards.

Milton Hittlespitz v Seth Wish
I could see this going either way, but I'm calling the upset for Seth Wish. A great way for him to show he belongs with the top guys, and he can always get some help to beat Milton so he doesn't get hurt by it. This match could make Wish, but he's still young so you don't have to pull that trigger yet. Milton getting the win would probably mean we get Milton and Edwards sooner.
 

Australian Title: Wrecker (c) v Mr. Pink
Wrecker feels like the next big bad ass good guy that a DIW crowd loves, so him firmly putting himself above his partner in the pecking order makes sense to me.

Chopper Rourke v Dexter Mattell
Chopper has always been the distant third in the Barracudas, and Mattell winning sets Dex up some matches with Vaughan down the road, where you can see if he sinks or swims fighting what is really the core of DIW - big scary blokes who beat each other up with weapons.

Steel Cage: Momoe Hamuera v Lori
The villain gets their comeuppance, and this should be a cathartic one for those 300 odd loyal fans who have watched Lori cheat their favorites out of titles for years.

[AboardTheArk]

DIW Title: Kobra Khan v Rob Edwards (c)
The current conditions of the company make it more unpredictable than it would have been. Kobra Khan is good and an opportunity to make a new star at a time when DIW is being raided. It's a deserving main event and the Ares Death Cult is reeling. However, Rob Edwards is the MVP of the save performance wise, is close to the record, and already has the built-in feud with Milton whenever you want to take the title off him. Maybe you want to keep the tradition of title changes at War Machine, and this is very intriguing. I will have to default to Edwards as a prediction.

Milton Hittlespitz v Seth Wish
Feels straightforward mostly because Seth hasn't quite got the shine necessary to show me he can beat Milton. Of course, he is the second best prospect you got, there's an opening in the Ares Death Cult pecking order and Milton can take an L since he just challenged for the belt. Also, I can't say there's not enough momentum for an upset when I'm guilty of making a lot of them happen without first building them properly. Seth at least has the canes and Con McReady.

Australian Title: Wrecker (c) v Mr. Pink
Mr Pink is good...for a clown. Wrecker wins.

Chopper Rourke v Dexter Mattell
Another one that could go either way, Feel like Chopper needs the momentum more with Blitz gone and Vaughan being the oldest of the Barracudas. Keep the legacy alive. Then again he did get squashed by Rob in a very inspired booking decision.

Steel Cage: Momoe Hamuera v Lori
Hm, I wonder how that goes! The important thing is that it will be a delight.

[619]

Thank you @John Lions and @AboardTheArk for such thoughtful and thought-provoking analysis. It's interesting that you both brought up the option for more Milton v Edwards. I wasn't sure if I'd ran that too much already, so it's good to know it's still an option (especially with the head-to-head tied at 2-2). Apologies in advance for one of the booking decisions on this show, which your comments confirm could generate change-the-thread heat.

Part 47: War Machine 2023

Milton Hittlespitz v Seth Wish
Crazy Blue was once again ambush-ready when setting up for his Flying Knee Drop, anticipating Con McReady sneaking up behind him and spinning to crack him in the side of the head with a steel chair he’d handily propped up against the ropes. Wish was ready to capitalise all the same, joining Milton on the turnbuckle and throwing him over his head and onto the mat. He followed up with the Suicide Senton and made contact too, but not enough as Milton managed to roll him up for the three count. A recovering McReady raced into the ring and swung his cane at the winner, who ducked the shot and slid out of the ring celebrating. Sean Quartermainne put over on commentary that Milton didn’t outperform Wish, he simply outthought his less experienced opponent.

Death Ref addressed the crowd before Lloyd Banks’ match to tell them the reason Ares Death Cult wiped out Gyula Lakatos was simple: you’ve got to be ruthless to stay on top. Gyula was the reason they lost the Tag Titles, and he paid for that error.

Demarcus Lee v Lloyd Banks
Lee was making his DIW debut: I’d brought him in to see what he had to offer, the answer being not much on the strength of this initial showing. The main objective though was to rehabilitate Banks after his recent defeats to Wrecker (twice) and Kobra Khan, and he did that with a wicked Piledriver onto the floor outside the ring.

While the cage for the next match was being set up, Quartermainne introduced Switchblade, one half of DIW’s newest tag team Crime Wave. He told people not to worry about their size, they’d learnt to fight dirty on the streets and could hang with anyone, as they showed The Benchmark by giving them their toughest test in DIW so far (a bold claim, given they’d lost to Gyula and Cesar Sionis a month earlier). He put the rest of the division on notice for 2024.

Cage Match: Momoe Hamuera v Lori
The stipulations we’d both picked were clear: I’d dictated that if Hamuera lost, she had to leave DIW, while she demanded a cage match so I couldn’t run. I still tried of course, scaling each side as soon as we’d started. The first three times, she pulled me back down. The fourth time, I lost my own footing and crashed down on the mat, popping the crowd. We did all the classics: she squished my face up against the steel. Then she ran me into one side at a time, each with almost no pause and to a progressively louder reaction, until I’d been given the tour of all four sides twice. She followed up with the Sin Bin, deciding on the glory of a cage exit rather than a pinfall. As she reached the top, Cesar Sionis appeared outside. Unintimated, she leapt off the cage onto him, but he caught her, dumping her back into the ring after demanding that Tatum opened the door. As this was happening, Lloyd Banks scaled the other side and dropped in a cricket bat wrapped in barbed wire which I proceeded to charge into her head for a very unpopular pinfall.

It seemed the cameraman Death Ref had tipped off at the last two shows knew where to find his shot this time, scouting out Chopper Rourke and Vaughan in the back as Chopper declined Vaughan’s offer to stand in his corner. Chopper left to head to ringside, leaving an agitated Vaughan behind. He spotted the cameraman, chased him down and put him in a Choke Sleeper.

Chopper Rourke v Dexter Mattell
Chopper made an explosive start to this match and looked set to win it in under three minutes when he lifted Mattell up for a Spinebuster. Raw Sex managed to lock in a submission and eventually take him off his feet. From here, every time Chopper tried to regain control, he found himself countered. In the final sequence, he shook off three ground submissions, a little slower each time, only to eventually find himself trapped in a pinning combination he couldn’t get out of. Mattell didn’t hang around to get his arm raised, instead retreating up the ramp and holding up three fingers. Quartermainne reminded viewers that was how many former DIW Champions he'd now beaten, speculating that he would surely be given a chance to become one soon.

Vaughan raced to the ring after that match ended. He told Chopper he understood why he’d backed off from him recently, but the last few months had shown a reality that neither of them wanted to admit or accept. He said The Barracudas were faced with two choices: unite or die.

Australian Title: Wrecker (c) v Mr. Pink
This long-awaited (by me at least) singles match 10 months after Mr. Pink had abandoned Wrecker to bring an end to The Wrecking Crew was my favourite Australian Title match to date. Perhaps the desire to “win the break-up” wasn’t exclusive to my booking given the apparent breakdown of their real-life friendship this year. Mr. Pink seemed to have an answer for almost all of the champion’s offence – something our commentators attributed to their success as a team – yet it was Wrecker who made the most decisive counter of all, reacting quickly when hoisted up for a Pink Thunder Bomb to transition into his Mighty Bulldog and claim victory.

Two Badass MFers came out to one of the biggest ovations of the night so far. They said they were embarrassed it had taken them almost a year, but finally they had their gold back around their waists and somehow they looked even better than usual. That meant the was only one thing to do. The Benchmark appeared at the entranceway with cigarettes in hand. They said they’d always wanted to do this one, and scoffed at how respectful it was of Hendrix Hughes and Seb Shaw to dedicate all of their victories to them by putting their ciggies in the air for the greatest tag team in DIW. They vowed that when they got their chance to prove it, they would take it. Hughes and Shaw weren’t intimidated, encouraging them to bring it on.

DIW Title: Kobra Khan v Rob Edwards (c)
Kobra Khan once said when battling Seth Wish for the Australian Title last year that nobody could beat him three times in a row and there was a moment halfway through this match when it looked like he was going to prove it, striking the champion with a Ripcord Knee, but taking just a second too long to crawl over and make the cover. As Edwards took charge, Kobra decided the only way to keep his chances alive was to take risks, but one of those proved costly as he leapt off the turnbuckle straight into a Roundhouse Kick. With that, The Human Weapon became the first DIW Champion to survive War Machine with their title in four years.

Edwards called Death Ref into the ring to celebrate reaching a full year as champion, only to brush off the Ares Death Cult leader’s embrace and strike him with a Roundhouse Kick. That brought Lloyd Banks in and he met the same fate. Cesar Sionis was more prepared, taking down the champion with a Clothesline. He tried to hit his Running Knee Side-Swipe on the grounded Edwards, but the champion caught his leg, took him down and laid him out with a Roundhouse Kick too. The commentators struggled for an explanation as to why The Human Weapon had taken out his own teammates unprovoked, but he seemed happy about it, and so did the crowd.

[619]

Thought I'd post the next part a day early to immediately provide the thought process behind the most obscene War Machine booking decision (which doesn't absolve the crime, it just outlines the booker paranoia that fed into it).

Part 48: Plan C

So 2023 ended the opposite way to 2022: with Rob Edwards turning his back on Ares Death Cult. As you know, that wasn’t the original plan, which was for Blitz Simpson to dethrone The Human Weapon, firmly establish himself as Barracuda figurehead and start a legitimate DIW Title run, his other one having lasted a month and been ended by a near-retirement Comedian.

It wasn’t even Plan B. I preferred the idea of Ares Death Cult deserting Edwards, realising that with The Barracudas diminished, they no longer needed to support the DIW Title reign of someone they weren’t ideologically aligned with, and could instead bring the title closer. But once Gyula Lakatos left, it made more sense for Edwards to initiate the split. He’d aligned with the Cult as they and The Barracudas were too powerful, and now both were at reduced capacity.

I was fairly optimistic about the opportunities this presented, opening up new opponents to Edwards after a year as champion and introducing a greater threat of him losing the title.

One other War Machine moment I probably need to address is my match as, yes, I know it was terrible booking. We’d spent two years building up to the moment I’d be decisively put in my place, only for me to go ahead and win anyway.

Whether you choose to believe it or not, it wasn’t egomania. The plan had always been for Momoe Hamuera to beat me in that cage but, as War Machine edged closer, I was forced to confront two realities: firstly that she wasn’t getting over as much as I’d hoped, and secondly there was nowhere really for her to go afterwards with no full women’s division on the horizon.

So I’d be weakening the one person I could count on to be at my disposal in the months ahead – myself – for a cause that wouldn’t really benefit the company. She wasn’t happy about the change in direction but, as she was no longer in my 2024 plans, I wasn’t too concerned.

I was still conscious I should suffer some comeuppance, but talked myself out of both scenarios I’d considered. The first was letting Momoe throw me off the top of the cage as I celebrated, because it would require Shawn to leave the show with me, weakening the final segment. The second was having Edwards strike me as well as the others, confident I wouldn’t act on my legal protection either because Cesar Sionis and co would want to deal with him directly (kayfabe) or because I couldn’t afford to lose him (non-kayfabe), but it felt a bit gratuitous.

So instead, the year ended with me defeating a professional athlete inside a cage and nobody left inside the company with the ability to put me in my place. That was plenty of fuel for the critics who claimed I used my role as booker to get me and my friends over at everyone else’s expense.

[AboardTheArk]

Damn, we got some characters making selfish decisions. I love this for us. You have stumbled (or planned, I don't want to sell you short) on Lori becoming the Comedian, and it's beautiful, as another commenter mentioned above. Although I personally would have just taken the L to Momoe, not because I think what you did is wrong, it makes sense (or perhaps I am too used to agreeing with Lori's POV!), but because I don't change plans and am a coward.  

 

Good show, although the disconnect and transition from the raids was also felt. 2024 is going to be a very interesting year. Running Benchmark vs MFs so soon also intrigues me. 

 

The Edwards swerve is a logical decision. Makes me think that whoever his next challenger is will cement if he's leaning more face or heel. 

 

Calling it now that 2024 is the year of the Kobra.

[John Lions]

To be honest, I think it makes sense for an out-of-kayfabe reason. 300 people know the years of cheating Lori has got away with, but for 10,000 of your new WrestleWorld viewers, this is their first experience with her. She needs to get one over on the good guys for the new audience before her comeuppance is really meaningful. Or at least, that's how you could spin it to the boss...

[Satyr24]

I have really enjoyed both years so far

Can't wait to see what 2024 brings I do have one request though if you start a new year on a new page can you link it here? You had posted about part 20 before I realized you weren't continuing 2023 in Lori Law

Otherwise, look out RAW and CEW, DIW is coming

Edited February 25, 2023 by Satyr24

[619]

Thanks for the feedback and the forgiveness of dubious booking decisions, I really appreciate it.

@AboardTheArk I think stumbled is fair, as Gyula Lakatos' defection amplified the paranoia. Elevating is definitely an ambition for 2024 to fill the spots vacated by Blitz Simpson and Gyula. Year of the Kobra has a great ring to it, so we'll have to see.

@John Lions I love the psychology of it being a 97% new audience and them having fewer preconceptions: I wish I'd factored it into the booking of these shows more.

@Satyr24 Thanks and apologies. There might be a short gap between finishing 2023 and starting 2024 as I like having 20/25 parts written, and I'm only 13 in at the moment but, if I start a new thread for 2024, I'll make sure I link to it here (provided that doesn't break any forum rules).

Part 49: Best and worst of DIW 2023

Fighter of the Year: Rob Edwards
Whether you were judging this on kayfabe or non-kayfabe criteria, the answer surely had to be the same. The Human Weapon was DIW Champion from the first day of 2023 to the last, only the second time that had been achieved in our history, a decade on from Dumfrey Pinn doing the same. His matches with Blitz Simpson at Massacre and Milton Hittlespitz at Hardcore Hallelujah were the highlights, but he also overachieved against Vaughan, Kobra Khan, Wrecker and Chopper Rourke in particular. Blitz might have challenged if he’d stuck around the whole year.

Most Popular Fighter: Rob Edwards
This is another category that 2022 winner Blitz Simpson would’ve closely challenged in but, without him around and with Milton Hittlespitz no longer riding quite as high a wave of public support, this was undeniably Edwards’ year, consistently generating the loudest reactions. His closest challengers, perhaps surprisingly, were Donovan Boon and Rusty Mills, The Benchmark. The fans seemingly relished their status as DIW’s first ever direct signings from APW, and they’d finished the year with very entertaining matches against Ares Death Cult and Crime Wave.

Rising Star: Two Badass MFers
It might seem strange to refer to two blokes who held the Tag Titles for most of 2022 as rising stars, but their performances in 2023 – especially finally beating Gyula Lakatos and Cesar Sionis at Chaos Engine – took their popularity to new heights. DIW fans had long loved their cockiness, but matching it with more in-ring grit in taking on new challenges like Ares Death Cult and The Barracudas appeared to add an extra dimension to their act. Aged 29, Hendrix Hughes and Seb Shaw were nowhere near their ceiling, the question was whether they’d reach it with us.

Falling Star: Vaughan
This was a strange one. The five-time DIW Champion was on form against Rob Edwards at Hardcore Heatwave in February and perhaps even better in the first Barracudas triple threat two months later, but both his performance and popularity dropped off badly in the second half of 2023. The latter perhaps wasn’t helped by him instigating the divisive Barracudas infighting, especially as the angle didn’t get its planned payoff due to Blitz Simpson departing. Either way, the 40-year-old’s chances of equalling The Comedian’s record six reigns on top were fading.

Match of the Year: Blitz Simpson v Rob Edwards (Massacre 2023)
This was the perfect match at the perfect time – our two most popular fighters colliding in the best form of their DIW careers. It had a memorable finish too, rightly or wrongly, with Vaughan intervening to stop fellow Barracuda Blitz from winning the DIW Title. That wrong was meant to be righted in a War Machine rematch, only for Blitz to leave the company for CEW three months before his planned coronation. With no precedent for anyone returning to DIW after leaving, any rematch between the pair seemed more likely to take place in CEW than at Marv’s.

Show of the Year: Hardcore Hallelujah 2023
This honour probably would’ve gone to War Machine for the second year in a row if we’d been able to deliver on the planned Blitz-Edwards rematch and didn’t have to move Two Badass MFers’ title win forward a month. Those factors left Hardcore Hallelujah as the standout in terms of both build and execution: all three titles were defended in much-hyped matches, and the main event was the fourth and best match yet of the Hittlespitz-Edwards series, with the challenger’s bid to celebrate a second successive Crazy Blue winter sabotaged by Seth Wish.

Main Event Count
6: Rob Edwards
4: Blitz Simpson, Milton Hittlespitz
3: Chopper Rourke
2: Cesar Sionis, Dexter Mattell, Gyula Lakatos, Vaughan
1: Hendrix Hughes, Kobra Khan, Seb Shaw, Wrecker

[christmas_ape]

I always enjoy posts like these. Good to recap. 

It's an interesting point that no-one has left to return. Not exactly surprising but it could definitely happen even without DIW making it big. Will be interesting when it happens whether it will be someone coming back with their tail between their legs or whether they get a heroes welcome for seeing the light.

[AboardTheArk]

A good year comes to an end. DIW feels more major-league than ever, and will certainly be looking upwards even further with the cash cushion and Wrestleworld backing. I agree with every award, unsurprisingly as circumstances stopped the top of the card from getting as hot as year one, but the signings have helped a lot and you have gotten rid of a lot of the complete deadweight that was in the company.