Remianen Posted January 23, 2007 Share Posted January 23, 2007 That was brilliant! It took me a second to pick up the Angry to Happy Gilmore thing but I've got a slight hangover at the moment so CUT ME SOME SLACK! :p Seriously, I'm waitin' to see what you plan to do with the Canadian Crusties (CGC) and NOTBPW. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightshadeex Posted January 23, 2007 Share Posted January 23, 2007 CGC is not easy. Especially when the industry is tanking (like always). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J Silver Posted January 23, 2007 Author Share Posted January 23, 2007 [QUOTE=Remianen;189912]That was brilliant! It took me a second to pick up the Angry to Happy Gilmore thing but I've got a slight hangover at the moment so CUT ME SOME SLACK! :p[/QUOTE] Why thank you. That article may not have served any purpose whatsoever in the grand scheme of things, but it was fun to write. And it's good to know somebody picked up on the movie reference :D [QUOTE]Seriously, I'm waitin' to see what you plan to do with the Canadian Crusties (CGC) [/QUOTE] Page 3- [url]http://www.greydogsoftware.com/forum/showthread.php?t=16260&page=3[/url] Canadian Crusties? I think I may just use that for a tag team name. [QUOTE]and NOTBPW. :)[/QUOTE] Page 4- [url]http://www.greydogsoftware.com/forum/showthread.php?t=16260&page=4[/url] I think my characterization of Big Smack Scott in posts 48 and 49 was quite accurate if I do say so myself. As for why I gave up on NOTBPW if anyone's wondering: It was too easy. I like a challenge. Which is why I'm announcing right now that the next chapter in this diary goes to USPW. Why? you may ask. I'll get to that after Malice in Wonderland is done and posted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J Silver Posted January 23, 2007 Author Share Posted January 23, 2007 [CENTER][IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/internet2.jpg[/IMG] [B]News[/B][/CENTER] [U] Wednesday[/U] -SWF and TCW somehow ran the same venue again Tuesday night. How is this possible you may ask? Martians I may retort. -Feedback for the the last episode of Total Wrestling was awesome. It's gotten fantastic reviews. [U] Thursday[/U] -I'm going to do something I don't normally do, watch a USPW show. Pray for me. It was like watching a retirement castle, but slower. And less lively. Bruce the Giant retains the title. This makes me indifferent. Giant Redwood has a match. This makes me suddenly have to use the bathroom. Darryl Devine is jobbed out to the Demons of Rage. This makes me sad. Lex Appeal and Tom E. Hawk have a match. This makes me realize the younger talnet is somehow worse than the geriatrics. Overall I'd say it's good for a USPW show. Interpret that as you will. [U]Friday[/U] -SWF are trying to end Gilmores career. He had a match with Big Smack Scott at When Hell Freezes Over. He won the match so at least his career is still alive. [U]Sunday[/U] -An A* match is achieved and if you don't know where you don't know Canada. Sean McFly defeated Jeremy Stone to defend his title. From [COLOR="Blue"][U]TCW.com[/U][/COLOR] [QUOTE] [B]Official Preview for Total Wrestling[/B] The #1 contender to the TCW World Championship will be determined. Liberty and RDJ have had a common goal and a common threat for the past few weeks. Johnson and Liberty will finally get a chance to settle the score inside the squared circle. This Tuesday night will see quite possibly the biggest match Total Wrestling has ever seen. The winner will go on to wrestle Tommy Cornell at Malice in Wonderland. The loser won't. With Troy Tornado seeming to have an issue with Liberty and Wolf Hawkins having unfinished business with RDJ I doubt either of these men will be left off the show. Last week Wrestling Machine #1 held his own in a match with BLZ Bubb, but in the end the numbers game got to him. Machine #1 has informed us that he, as well as his injured partner have challenged The Dark Brotherhood to a 3-on-3 match. The Machines have said they will welcome Wrestling Machine Machine #3 to the group. Who is Wrestling Machine #3? We'll have to wait until Tuesday to find out. Tune in this Tuesday at 9 on GNN Total Sports to see all this and more. [U]Match Listing[/U]* [I]-Aaron Andrews vs. Ice Man C.A. -Chance Fortune vs. Fumihiro Ota for the TCW All Action Championship -The Wrestling Machines vs. The Dark Brotherhood -Ricky Dale Johnson vs. Liberty for #1 Contendership[/I] *[SIZE="1"]Card subject to change[/SIZE][/QUOTE] [I]All predictions, feedback, comments, etc. welcome[/I] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remianen Posted January 23, 2007 Share Posted January 23, 2007 Wrestling Machine #3 is going to be Hell Monkey! That's all I got. :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J Silver Posted January 27, 2007 Author Share Posted January 27, 2007 [QUOTE=Remianen;190018]Wrestling Machine #3 is going to be Hell Monkey! That's all I got. :p[/QUOTE] I wish. That damn monkey turned me down and went to japan. (*Realizes he never sent him a request. And he's working PPA in Japan*) I mean, he wouldn't answer his phone, but I'm still working very hard on getting him. ----- [CENTER][IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/tcwtotal.jpg[/IMG] [B]TCW Presents Total Wrestling[/B] Tuesday Week 3, January 2007 Held at The Connecticut Symphony Hall in front of 5,589 people [U]Dark Matches[/U][/CENTER] -Painful Procedure defeated The Nation Of Filth in 5:44 when Randall Hopkirk defeated Stink by pinfall with a Randallism. (D) -Ronnie V. Pain defeated Stuart Ferdinand in 6:49 by pinfall after using a foreign object. (D) [CENTER][U] Main Show[/U] [/CENTER] Jason Azaria, Kyle Rhodes and JD Silver welcome everyone to TCW Total Wrestling [U]-Match #1- [B]Aaron Andrews vs. Ice Man C.A.[/B]-[/U] Well, at least these 2 had some good chemistry together unlike a certain other 2 wrestlers I won't yet mention. ([I]foreshadowing ~![/I]) The Iceman was able to get in some offense, but most of it belonged to Andrews. Andrews finished C.A. Off with a Standing hot shot. (Reminder to self: Stop forgetting to give Andrews a new finisher.) Winner: [B]Aaron Andrews[/B] in 8:41 Rating [B]([COLOR="Red"]C[/COLOR])[/B] -Backstage we see American Buffalo arguing with Giant Tana. Buffalo and Tana both feel as if the International Championship should be theirs and they're ready to fight for it. The 2 are about to come to blows on the spot when Floyd Goldworthy walks by to stop them. Goldworthy says that as the newly appointed TCW commissioner he's going to put Buffalo and Tana in a match tonight. If he thinks either of them are worthy he'll think about making the International Championship match at Malice in Wonderland a 3-way. ([B][COLOR="Red"]C+[/COLOR][/B]) [U] -Match #2- [B]American Buffalo vs. Giant Tana[/B]-[/U] Buffalo jump started this match charging Tana. Tana caught him and delivered a series off slaps that backed Buffalo up. AB caught him with some punches to the head, but Tana came back from that with elbows to the head. Buffalo gave Tana a knee to the gut. He tried again, but Tana caught it, threw it down and hit AB with some kicks to the side. The match continued on like this for a few minutes until AB hits Tana with a knee that's a bit lower than the mid-section. Tana tried to rally a comeback multiple times, but is cut short each time. Eventually a simple kick to the face turns the momentum in Tanas favor. Tana goes on to hit a Samoan Avalanche and a Big Fat Samoan Squash to pick up a win. Winners: [B]Giant Tana[/B] in 9:42 Rating [B]([COLOR="Red"]B-[/COLOR])[/B] -Rocky Golden runs down to the ring and attacks Giant Tana as he celebrates his win. American Buffalo joins in and a 2 on 1 beatdown begins. Out of nowhere another Samoan jumps into the ring and goes after Golden and Buffalo. He helps Tana up. Tana grabs a mic and addresses his attackers. [B]Tana[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Well, this may not have been the brother I was talking about, but I'm sure glad he's here. Cowards meet Rhino, Rhino meet cowards. If you came down here for a fight Rocky then why don't you fight my brother here.[/COLOR]" ([B][COLOR="Red"]D+[/COLOR] for the rescue, [COLOR="Red"]C+[/COLOR] for the challenge[/B]) [U]-Match #3- [B]Rhino Umaga vs. Rocky Golden[/B]-[/U] Golden reluctantly rolled back into the ring to begin the match. Umaga charged out of his corner spearing Golden and assaulting him punches to the head until the ref had to pull him off. Umaga shoved the ref away. Golden took advantage with a poke to the eye and a quick roll-up. The ref turned around to make the count Umaga, but kicked out at 2. Golden took advantage of Umagas temporary lapse in depth perception and beat on him. It didn't take long however for Umaga to start dominating Golden again. Golden rolled out of the ring, got a steel chair and tried to nail Umaga with it. Umaga stopped the chair, ripped it out of Goldens hands and nailed him with it. The ref called for the bell. Winner: [B]Rocky Golden[/B] by DQ in 6:55 Rating [B]([COLOR="Red"]C-[/COLOR])[/B] -Backstage Joel Bryant walks into commissioner Goldworthys office with his partner, Robert Oxford in tow. Bryant tells Goldworthy that he's been thinking about his offer and has decided to take him up on it. Goldworthy congratulates Bryant on his decision to join. He then goes on about how Bryant will be the cornerstone of Goldworthys group and with the power to book matches they'll be unstoppable soon. ([B][COLOR="Red"]C[/COLOR][/B]) -Texas Pete is backstage giving an interview about how he's better than Rick Law in every way, and how Law cheated to win his matches. Pete says that he wants Law in a match at Malice in Wonderland. Pete caps it off saying "[COLOR="Green"]And if that gutless pig actually accepts my challenge he'll learn why you don't mess with a true cowboy.[/COLOR]" Pete has a c0cky look on his face which suddenly darkens. The camera zooms out to reveal Rick Law standing next to Pete. [B]Law[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]If you wanted another match with me then ya coulda just asked me cowpoke. Instead I find you out here running your mouth again like ya usually do. I think that's the problem with you Pete, I really do. You're all talk, and when it comes to the action you're the definition of incompetent. If I have to beat you one more time, so be it. I just hope you learn something this time.[/COLOR]" ([B][COLOR="Red"]C+[/COLOR][/B]) -Chance Fortune was interviewed about his match with Fumihiro Ota coming up next. Chance says that what people don't know about him is that he's a world renown black belt champion in akiko coco camo chipmunk juitsu. He says he's not afraid of Fumihiro Ota and Ota isn't going to get the All Action title now or anytime soon. ([B][COLOR="Red"]C-[/COLOR][/B]) [U]-Match #4- [B][COLOR="RoyalBlue"]TCW All Action Championship Match[/COLOR]- Fumihiro Ota vs. Chance Fortune (c)[/B]-[/U] Chance starts out this match mocking Ota. Chance decided to taunt him by doing the crane. He got kicked in the head. Ota was relentless after that keeping Chance down with heavy kicks and strikes. Chance was able to duck a shining wizard and roll Ota off. Chance caught him with a clothesline. And then another, and another, and then finishing it with a dropkick. Chance was fired up, but Ota rolled to the outside. Chance took a dive and hit him with a plancha to the outside. Chance rolled Ota into the ring and got a 2. Chance went for A Stroke of Luck, but Ota ducked it and rolled out of the way. Ota caught Chance with a jumping kick to the side of the head when Chance turned around. Ota waited for Chance to get to a knee and went for the Ninja Strike. Fortune ducks it, takes Otas leg and applies an STF. Ota crawled to the ropes and was eventually able to make it. Chance waits for Ota and delivers a Stroke of Luck. 1...2...3. Winner: [B]Chance Fortune[/B] in 21:57 Rating [B]([COLOR="Red"]C[/COLOR])[/B] -The Wrestling Machines make their way down to the ring, #2 still with a cast on his hand. #1 grabs a mic and proceeds to challenge the Dark Brotherhood to come down to the ring and wrestle The Machines. Bubb and his cronies make their way down to the ring. Bubb grabs a mic and gets right to the point. "[COLOR="Blue"]What in the hell makes you think the 2 of you can beat the 3 of us?[/COLOR]" #1 counters that by introducing the Brotherhood to Wrestling Machine #3, wrestling veteran Steve Flash. Flash came got in the ring to join his partners, but decided to jump start this match instead. He attacked Bubb and the match was on. ([B][COLOR="Red"]C-[/COLOR] for the challenge, [COLOR="Red"]D+[/COLOR] for the reveal[/B]) [U]-Match #5- [B]The Dark Brotherhood vs. The Wrestling Machines[/B]-[/U] #3 and Bubb brawled with the ref having to break it up and send them to their corners. Machine #1 started off this match, and spent most of it as the legal man on his team. With Hill injured and Flash in his 40's it's pretty understandable. The Dark Brotherhood took advantage of Machine #1's unwillingness to tag his partners in by working him over pretty badly, keeping him in their corner, and making frequent tags. Eventually #1 was able to get out of the way of a double clothesline from The Darkness Warriors and make a tag to the 40 year old Flash. Machine #3 came in like a hyperactive 20 year old knocking down everything that moved. The numbers game eventually did catch up to him. The Brotherhood had the advantage again. They worked over #3 pretty badly. Bubb ran to the Machines corner and knocked #1 off the apron. He then dragged #3 over to it taunting #2, the injured #2, to get in the ring. #2, using more guts than brains made the tag. Bubb immediately went after the arm as well as the Darkness Warriors. Eventually it was too much for #2. Bubb tore the cast off and applied an armbar to the arm. #2 had no choice but to tap if he didn't want to risk further injury. Winner: [B]The Dark Brotherhood[/B] in 15:36 Rating [B]([COLOR="Red"]C+[/COLOR])[/B] -Tommy Cornell, with Wolf Hawkins and Aaron Andrews by his side, talks a little about his possible contenders for next Sunday. [B]Cornell[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]It really doesn't matter who wins the match tonight. I'll walk into Malice in Wonderland with the championship and I'll walk out with my championship. I've beaten Liberty and Johnson before and I can do it again, with one arm tied behind my back if I have to. Don't get me wrong, Liberty and Ricky are .... pretty good wrestlers, but I'm the best in the world. And when you compare anybody to me they just don't seem to cut it, do they? Liberty, you drug loving hippie freak, I don't have any idea what you're on or if you're just plain outta your small mind. I've handed you your ass more times than I can count and yet you keep thinking that someday you'll actually beat me. Put away the drugs and join me back here in reality so that you can quit with the delusions. Ricky Dale Johnson, hero to white trash Americans everywhere. Icon of the trailer park. The king of same-family relationships. Ricky, I beat you for the belt just a little over 3 weeks ago. And despite what you remember I did it fair and square. You're no challenge for me Ricky, and I could easily beat you again. To both of the challengers, good luck to you tonight because at Malice in Wonderland no amount of luck is going to save you.[/COLOR]" ([B][COLOR="Red"]C+[/COLOR][/B]) -Liberty now talks about his match with RDJ tonight, and Tommy Cornell at MiW. [B]Liberty[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]This match with Ricky tonight is, like, huge, like, ginormous huge. But don't worry little dudes and dudettes, Liberty has beaten impossible odds before. Liberty's, like, just too cool be beat by white trash. And at the PPV, I'm like gonna beat Cornell and like totally walk out of it with the belt dudes, cuz that would be cool and we all know Liberty is like the coolest guy in wrestling dudes.[/COLOR]" ([B][COLOR="Red"]B+[/COLOR][/B]) -And to complete the trifecta, an interview with RDJ. RDJ says that he's sick of all of the comments about him being white trash. He may be Southern, but the last thing he is is trash. Ricky says that Liberty should be the last person insulting somebody about being trash of any kind. As for Cornell, RDJ says that he's had to deal with Cornell for a long while now, and that he's sick of Cornell and his better than you attitude. Ricky says that he's going to win tonight so that he can got to MiW and get back what's his, the World Championship. ([B][COLOR="Red"]B+[/COLOR][/B]) [U] -Match #6- [B]Liberty vs. Ricky Dale Johnson[/B]-[/U] I was banking on this match to save this show. It didn't. Turns out these two just don't click. Since neither of the competitors in this match seemed to really put much effort into it I don't see the reason to put much effort into my write up of it. Liberty did some stuff. The crowd went mild. Ricky did some stuff. The crowd went mild again. Troy Tornado hit Liberty with something illegal. Ricky hit a Southern Justice. The ref then proved he could count to 3. The end. Winner: [B]Ricky Dale Johnson[/B] in 13:48 Rating [B]([COLOR="Red"]C+[/COLOR])[/B] -Cornell, Hawkins, Andrews, and Tornado storm the ring and attack the winded competitors who just wrestled, Liberty and RDJ. They destroy Liberty and RDJ and leave them laying. ([B][COLOR="Red"]B-[/COLOR][/B]) [U]Final Rating[/U] ([B][COLOR="Red"]C+[/COLOR][/B]) American Buffalo had the best match on the show. American F'N Buffalo. I'll let that speak for itself. Although at least Tana has broken out as a real star performer lately, he's been the MVP of every show I've booked thus far. Needless to say I wasn't happy with this show, hopefully I'll do better next week. [QUOTE][U]Quick Results[/U]: [I]-Aaron Andrews defeated Ice Man C.A. (C) -Giant Tana defeated American Buffalo (B-) -Rocky Golden defeated Rhino Umaga (C-) -Chance Fortune defeated Fumihiro Ota (C) -The Dark Brotherhood defeated The Wrestling Machines (C+) -Ricky Dale Johnson defeated Liberty (C+)[/I][/QUOTE] [B]Next time on TCW Presents Total Wrestling[/B]: Somebody gets hurt and f---s up plans for Malice in Wonderland. Anyone care to guess who? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J Silver Posted January 28, 2007 Author Share Posted January 28, 2007 [CENTER][IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/internet2.jpg[/IMG] [B]News[/B][/CENTER] [U] Wednesday[/U] -SWF and TCW yet again ran the same arena last night. How you may ask? Leprechauns I may retort. -Japan held a secret covert independent show last night. Nothing is known about the show, not even where it was. I guess that's why the attendance is a secret too. [U]Thursday[/U] -NOTBPW has an uncharacteristically average show. It was headlined by Sean McFly vs. Dark Angel in a B- match. Looks like there's a reason the old man is slowing down. Then again 13 matches in the same month isn't a very good definition for slowing down. -Now for my weekly show review. USPW held American Wrestling last night. Giant Redwood wrestled Pete the Hillbilly. The less said about this match, the better. Captain USA wrestled Lex Appeal. This makes my stomach hurt for some reason. The Lords of War and Demons of Rage locked up for this dream match. too bad it's at least 10 years too late for it to be any good. Or for anyone to really care. Jack Griffith has proven to the world that he's a miracle worker. He was able to get a C+ match from Bruce the Giant. I hear next week he's going to reveal the cure for cancer. Overall, probably the best USPW show of the Sam Strong era. Then again that's not saying much. [U]Friday[/U] -Valiant and Nevada Nuclear are called up to the SWF from developmental (RIPW). Sara Silver is then brought into developmental. Yup, that's an even exchange alright. [U]Saturday[/U] -CGC held their Elimination PPV and were only able to muster a C+. I guess not all Canadian Wrestling families can be successful. [U]Monday[/U] -From [COLOR="Blue"][U]TCW.com[/U][/COLOR] [QUOTE][B]Official Match Listing for Total Wrestling*[/B] [I] -Raul Darkness vs. Wrestling Machine #3 -Wrestling Machine #1 vs. Jay Darkness -Giant Tana vs. Rocky Golden -Joel Bryant vs. American Buffalo -Tommy Cornell & Troy Tornado vs. Liberty & RDJ[/I] *[SIZE="1"]Card subject to change[/SIZE] Tune in this Tuesday at 9 on GNN Total Sports to see all this and more.[/QUOTE] [I]All predictions, feedback, comments, etc. welcome[/I] [B]OOC News[/B]: Well, it seems this diary may be on it's last legs. I've finally purchased a license and have the full game. Once TCW is finished I'll be going on to do USPW. Sometime after that I'll start a regular diary. I'm not sure what I'll do with this diary though. I may come back to it from time to time or I may even open it up to the public, seeing as how most diaries don't even make it a month (gametime) to begin with. When the time comes I'll decide. For now though let's see if anyone can guess who gets injured on this show. I'll give you a hint: They're wrestling tonight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J Silver Posted January 30, 2007 Author Share Posted January 30, 2007 [CENTER][IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/tcwtotal.jpg[/IMG] [B]TCW Presents Total Wrestling[/B] Tuesday Week 4, January 2007 Held at The Louisiana Auditorium Att. 5,872 [U]Dark Matches[/U][/CENTER] -Ronnie V. Pain defeated Stuart Ferdinand in 7:55 by pinfall with a Power Chord. ([B]D+[/B]) -Charlie Thatcher defeated Ice Man C.A. in 8:17 by pinfall with a Crusher Legdrop. ([B]C-[/B]) ([I]Thatcher was tired. And he wonders why I don't use him.[/I]) [CENTER][U]Main Show[/U][/CENTER] Jason Azaria, Kyle Rhodes and JD Silver welcome everyone to TCW Total Wrestling. [U]-Match #1- [B]Wrestling Machine #3 vs. Raul Darkness[/B]-[/U] Machine #3 out-wrestled Raul for the whole match. Unfortunately for Machine Bubb didn't like this. Jay distracted the ref while Bubb got in the ring and hit a Hades Bomb on #3. Raul made the cover and the 3 count was inevitable. Winner: [B]Raul Darkness[/B] in 6:48 Rating [B]([COLOR="Red"]D+[/COLOR])[/B] -Jay and Bubb get into the ring and start putting the boots to Machine #3. Raul joins in for a 3 on 1 beatdown. The assault continues until Machines 1 and 2 charge the ring. The Dark Brotherhood bail out of the ring. #1 grabs a mic and challenges any of the Dark Brotherhood to step into the ring with him focusing on BLZ Bubb intently. Jay Darkness steps forward to accept the challenge. ([B][COLOR="Red"]C-[/COLOR] for the attack, [COLOR="Red"]B-[/COLOR] for the challenge[/B]) [U]-Match #2- [B]Wrestling Machine #1 vs. Jay Darkness[/B]-[/U] And the "Every match I think could be good , but then I find they have bad chemistry dammit" curse continues to plague me. Machine really took it to Jay in the opening minutes of the bout. Too bad for Machine that Bubb taught Jay how to cheat. Jay hit Machine with a low blow out of sight of the ref. He then went to work on Machine. Machine was able to make a comeback and hit a Certain Defeat on Jay- D and it was over. Winners: [B]Machine #1[/B] in 10:40 Rating [B]([COLOR="Red"]C[/COLOR])[/B] -#1 celebrates his win when he's blindsided by Bubb. Jay and Raul try holding off the other 2 Machines and a brawl breaks out. Bubb continues to stomp away at #1, but #1 smartens up and rolls to the outside. He grabs Bubbs leg and drags him out of the ring. The 2 of them brawl until security separates them. ([B][COLOR="Red"]C-[/COLOR][/B]) -Rick Law is backstage warming up when he's jumped by Texas Pete. Pete laid into Laws head and sent him into a door before walking off. ([B][COLOR="Red"]C+[/COLOR][/B]) [U]-Match #3- [B]Randall Hopkirk vs. Aaron Andrews[/B]-[/U] The "Every match I think could be good , but then I find they have bad chemistry dammit" curse is working overtime tonight. As for the match itself it was your average heel/face match. Randall started out in control of Andrews. Andrews got a thumb in his eye and went to work on him. Randall, after minutes of being beat up makes his comeback to the relative indifference of the crowd. Randall and Andrews go back and forth for a minute. Andrews hits a Flying Body Press and gets the pin. I hit myself in the head for not telling the kid to change his finishers. Then Andrews gets the 3. Winner: [B]Aaron Andrews[/B] in 9:54 Rating [B]([COLOR="Red"]D+[/COLOR])[/B] -Chance Fortune is backstage talking to some of the female crew members and flaunting his shiny gold belt. All seems to be going alright when he's attacked out of nowhere by Fumihiro Ota. I guess that's what you call a ninja stealth attack. Ota delivers some pretty painful looking kicks to Chance. Ota stares down at the belt before walking off. ([B][COLOR="Red"]D[/COLOR][/B]) [U]-Match #4- [B]Giant Tana vs. Rocky Golden[/B]-[/U] Golden began the match trying to avoid Tana and strike whenever he could. The hit and run tactics worked for a while before Tana wised up to it. Tana went for a clothesline, but it was ducked by Golden. Golden dove at the knees of Tana, but Tana jumped up and landed on the back of Golden. Tana locked in a camel clutch. Golden slid his foot to a rope for the break. Tana proceeded to work over Golden, particularly in the lower back and abdomen regions. Golden tried to regain control by kicking at the knees of Tana whenever he got near. Tana fought back punching Golden in the head. Golden stated to kick away at the knees, but Tana swatted him away. Golden tried for the knees one more time, but Tana fired back with open hand slaps to the chest backing Golden into a corner. Tana went to the opposite corner to build up a head of steam. Tana charged the corner delivering a Big Fat Samoan Avalanche. Golden fell out of the corner. Tana ran off the ropes to hit the Big Fat Samoan Squash, but was met with a steel chair. American Buffalo throws the chair away and starts taking the boots to Tana. The ref calls for a DQ. Winner: [B]Giant Tana[/B] by DQ in 8:48 Rating [B]([COLOR="Red"]C+[/COLOR])[/B] -American Buffalo continues his attack on Tana while the ever opportunistic Rocky Golden joins in the attack. They work over Tana until they see Joel Bryant making his way down to the ring with manager and acting commissioner Floyd Goldworthy with him. They back off of Tana and let Bryant take his shots at the Samoan. Bryant takes his shot, but it's at Rocky Golden. Buffalo goes after him, but Goldworthy cuts him off. He grabs a mic and says that if Buffalo wants to touch Bryant tonight he can do it in a match, right now. ([B][COLOR="Red"]C-[/COLOR] for the save and the match announcement[/B]) [U]-Match #5- [B]Joel Bryant vs. American Buffalo[/B]-[/U] Well, at least I found one bit of good chemistry tonight. Bryant was ready for Buffalo and it showed. Bryant went after Buffalo taking him out of his game with mat wrestling. It's pretty obvious who was winning when it came to the mat wrestling. Bryant dominated Buffalo while Golden was yelling at Buffalo how to get out of the holds. Eventually Buffalo started using his own scientific wrestling to get out of the moves, the Greco-Roman Closed Fist. Buffalo wailed on Bryant until he was back on his feet. Buffalo went to work on Bryant hitting various power moves to try to wear him down. Unfortunately for Buffalo Bryant found his second wind and came back firing off shot after shot on him. Golden tried to stop this and distracted the ref as well as Bryant. Too bad for Golden that Tana was still on the outside. Tana jumped in the ring and returned the favor to Buffalo with a chair shot to the head. Bryant turned around to find Buffalo down. He hit a One Shot Drop on him and made the pin. 1...2....3. Winner: [B]Joel Bryant[/B] in 15:44 Rating [B]([COLOR="Red"]B[/COLOR])[/B] -Rocky Golden slides into the ring and makes a b-line for Bryant. He jumps him ands lays some fists to his head. Tana tries to get to Golden, but is intercepted by AB. Tana takes care of Buffalo and goes right after Golden. Golden and Tana brawl. Buffalo makes his way back into the ring, this time with a steel chair. Buffalo just nails Tana with it and leaves him out. Bryant makes it to his feet only to eat steel. Golden and Buffalo celebrate what they've done. And then Buffalo nails Golden with a chair too. He motions that the belt is his before making his way to the back. ([B][COLOR="Red"]C-[/COLOR][/B]) -Rick Law and Chance Fortune burst into Commissioner Goldworthys office. They shout over each other in an unintelligible babble until Goldworthy makes them both quiet down and go one at a time. Chance goes first and tells Goldworthy that while he was politely making conversation with a few nice young ladies backstage Fumihiro Ota got stealth on him and attacked him. Law was up next and said the Texas Pete had committed battery and assault of an officer and had to be punished. Goldworthy decided a tag team match would solve this situation, the match would be Pete and Ota vs. Law and Fortune. And it was up next. ([B][COLOR="Red"]C+[/COLOR][/B]) [U]-Match #6- [B]Texas Pete & Fumihiro Ota vs. Chance Fortune & Rick Law[/B]-[/U] Law and Fortune were easy targets for Ota and Pete after the attacks earlier. Luckily for Law and Fortune it seemed the cowboy and the ninja didn't get along too well as partners. Pete and Ota isolated Fortune from Law and worked him over pretty badly. Pete and Ota argued in their corners a couple of times, and every time they did Fortune went to tag his partner in. Ota and Pete quickly put their argument aside and stopped Fortune. It wasn't until nearly the end of the match that Law was able to get a tag in, but the ref didn't see it. Law came in and went through Pete and Ota before being sent back to his corner. Ota and Pete went back to work on Fortune. Ota shot Fortune off the ropes and hit him with a dropkick to the knee. Ota went for a Ninja Strike, but was intercepted by a Long Arm of The Law. Did I mention Law made a blind tag that Ota didn't see? Law made the cover, 1...2...3. Winners: [B]Chance Fortune & Rick Law[/B] in 13:07 Rating [B]([COLOR="Red"]C+[/COLOR])[/B] -Cornell and Tornado are talking backstage. They basically talk about how much they hate Liberty and RDJ. They also crack jokes at Liberty and RDJs expense. When Cornell notices the camera he tells the cameraman to come over, he has a message for RDJ. He says that on Sunday he'll prove once and for all that Ricky doesn't belong anywhere near the world title, much less TCW. He'll send him packing to whatever trailer park he came from. ([B][COLOR="Red"]B+[/COLOR][/B]) [U] -Match #7- [B]Liberty & Ricky Dale Johnson vs. Tommy Cornell & Troy Tornado[/B]- [/U] Not as good of a match as I was hoping for, but then again it was the highest I've been able to get out of RDJ or Liberty all month so I'll take it. This was a formula tag team match with the heels isolating one of the faces. I guess having 2 of those in a row didn't help the rating much either. Tornado worked on weakening RDJ, while Cornell would make a quick tag in, beat on RDJ, and tag in Tornado if RDJ tried to rally back. Tornado continued his attack on RDJ before going up top for the Starmaker. Tornado went for it, but RDJ got out of the way. Cornell jumped into the ring and grabbed onto RDJs leg to stop him from crawling to his corner. Cornell tried to pull RDJ away, but he crawled closer and made the tag to Liberty. Liberty came in and cleaned house knocking Cornell down over and over and then hitting a dropkick on Tornado taking him to the outside. Liberty posed to the crowd, but Cornell seized the opportunity and hit Liberty from behind. Cornell began working Liberty over. Tornado and Cornell now kept Liberty isolated in their corner. Cornell and Tornado work him over pretty badly too. Cornell hung Liberty in his corner in the tree of woe position and hit him with a Hung Jury. Cornell picked Liberty up for a Rough Ride. Cornell got Liberty up in the suplex, but Liberty spun out of it and stumbled back into his corner making a hot tag to RDJ. RDJ came in like a house of fire and went right after Cornell. RDJ went for a Southern Justice but Cornell elbowed out of it. Wolf Hawkins made an appearance and distracted the ref and RDJ who went to knock him off the apron. Hawkins jumped down just as Cornell rolled RDJ up. Cornell pulled the tights, but the ref didn't see it. 1....2....3. Winners: [B]Cornell & Tornado[/B] in 16:33 Rating [B]([COLOR="Red"]B-[/COLOR])[/B] -Having just picked up the victory over their opponents this Sunday, Tommy Cornell and Troy Tornado celebrate in the ring taunting Liberty and RDJ. ([B][COLOR="Red"]B+[/COLOR][/B]) [U] Final Rating [/U]([B][COLOR="Red"]C+[/COLOR][/B]) And for the second week in a row American Buffalo is in the match of the night. The BEST match of the night at that. Is this bizzaro world? And Bryant continues to out-perform every other main eventer in the company. I pray the PPV goes better than the shows have. [QUOTE][U]Quick Results[/U]: [I]-Raul Darkness defeated Wrestling Machine #3 (D+) -Wrestling Machine #1 defeated Jay Darkness (C) -Aaron Andrews defeated Randall Hopkirk (D+) -Giant Tana defeated Rocky Golden (C+) -Joel Bryant defeated American Buffalo (B) -Chance Fortune and Rick Law defeated Texas Pete and Fumihiro Ota (C+) -Tommy Cornell and Troy Tornado defeated Ricky Dale Johnson and Liberty (B-)[/I][/QUOTE] [B]Next Up[/B]: And now for the bad news.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J Silver Posted January 30, 2007 Author Share Posted January 30, 2007 [CENTER][IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/internet2.jpg[/IMG] [B][SIZE="4"]Breaking News: TCW World Champion Tommy Cornell injured[/SIZE][/B] [IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/TommyCornell.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] -Huge news to start off the day as the kidney problem Cornell has been suffering from has finally boiled over. Cornell has now contracted a kidney infection and will be out for at least 2 weeks. TCW are scrambling to change plans for the Malice in Wonderland PPV this Sunday. [CENTER][B]News[/B][/CENTER] [U]Wednesday[/U] -TCW beats SWF in the ratings war yet again. And for those of you who say "It's because America Sports-1 is smaller than GNN." World Basketball League regularly trounces TCW in the ratings. -Jack Griffith put in the performance of the night at USPWs Stars, Stripes and Slams! event. It's a losing effort to a Warlord. Looks like USPW know abouts Griffiths new TCW contract. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J Silver Posted January 31, 2007 Author Share Posted January 31, 2007 [CENTER][B]Thoughts From the Booking chair[/B][/CENTER] For a few weeks now Tommy Cornell has expressed that he's been having some problems with his kidneys. His doctor advised him to take it easy which is why I've kept him out of the ring recently. Last night something terrible happened, Cornells kidneys became infected. Cornell will be out for around 15 days. That's only a small amount of time, but Malice in Wonderland is only 4 days away. This injury royally screwed up my plans. My world champion, and the only guy on the roster I can guarantee an A match out of has just gone down only days from a PPV. There are plenty of options to choose from, but are any of the options any good? 1. [U]Finding a replacement for Cornell.[/U] There are plenty of main event heels on the roster, but can any of them or anybody else actually be counted on to get a good match out of RDJ. Lets have a look at the possibilities [B]Wolf Hawkins[/B]: Wolf would be the obvious choice to fill in for Cornell given Hawkins relationship to Cornell. Unfortunately I've already given this away on TV a few weeks ago and Hawkins and RDJ have absolutely no chemistry together. [B] Aaron Andrews[/B]: Not a chance in hell. [B]Troy Tornado[/B]: With Cornell out Tornado takes over the top heel in the company spot. Unfortunately Troy already has a match with Liberty. I could change the match to a 3-way, but considering the result every time I've put Liberty and RDJ in the same ring and the fact that even with Cornell in there a tag match between them was only rated B- I'd be asking for my buyrates to go down the toilet. [B]Joel Bryant[/B]: With the International match being a 4-way now I could easily pull him out and put him in the main event. The problem I have with that is that is whether or not he's really over enough to have that spot. If I do go through with this match, since Bryant is a proven miracle worker after all (Buffalo and Tana), would jobbing RDJ to Bryant be a good idea? Would having the title hotshot right back to RDJ be a smart decision? [B]BLZ Bubb[/B]: The most over heel on the roster. Bubb may not be the best worker we have, but is one of the best draws. While the same questions I asked about Bryant apply to Bubb the real question mark here is Quality. Is the match going to be any good? 2. [U]Outside Talent[/U] I've got working agreements with most companies, So let's see if there's anybody I can bring in that would work out. [B]Sean McFly[/B]: This would be a great replacement for Cornell, but unless he drops the Canadian Championship anytime soon it's a lost cause [B]Nemesis[/B]: The next most over guy I can bring in. Nemesis is retired and I don't see him pulling out a great match with RDJ which is my main concern right now. [B] Bryan Vessey[/B]: This would be a great choice. Unfortunately PGHW don't do talent trades when they're not on tour which leaves me SOL here. [B]Eddie Peak[/B]: Could be a good choice. He's available. He's capable. But what would be the point? 3.[U] Tournament[/U] I could hold a tournament to crown a new champion. This would be best for me to get good matches out of because I could pair up all the matches I know would be good and leave the bad ones in the first round. Problem with this idea is that Cornell is only going to be out for 2 weeks. Stripping him of the belt seems kinda pointless, especially since Cornell just won it anyways. Well, there are my options. None of them look too appealing either. Wrestling only has 1 Tommy Cornell after all. So the question right now seems to be whether Malice in Wonderland is going to be a throw away PPV, or if I throw away future storylines? This isn't going to be an easy decision.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J Silver Posted January 31, 2007 Author Share Posted January 31, 2007 [CENTER][IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/miw2.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] At TCW Malice in Wonderland there will be a tournament held to determine the new TCW World Heavyweight Champion. The bracketing is as follows. [CENTER][IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/bracket.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [QUOTE][U]Quick Rundown[/U]: [CENTER][U]Torunament Matches[/U] -Rick Law vs. Texas Pete- -Liberty vs. Troy Tornado- -TCW International Championship Match- Rocky Golden (c) vs. Giant Tana vs. American Buffalo- -Joel Bryant vs. Wolf Hawkins- -RDJ vs. BLZ Bubb- -Wrestling Machine #1 vs. Aaron Andrews- -(Winner of Law/Pete) vs. (Winner of Liberty/Tornado)- -(Winner of Golden/Tana/Buffalo) vs. (Winner of Bryant/Hawkins)- -(Winner of RDJ/Bubb) vs. (Winner of Machine/Andrews)- -(The remaining 3 will wrestle in a triple threat to become the new TCW World Champion)-[/CENTER][/QUOTE] [I]All predictions welcome[/I] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J Silver Posted February 6, 2007 Author Share Posted February 6, 2007 And we're back... Now with 82% less grammatical errors. Hopefully. [CENTER][IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/miw2.jpg[/IMG] [B]TCW Malice in Wonderland[/B] Sunday Week 4, January 2007 Held at The Utah Park Reservation Att. 15,000 (sell-out) Buy rate: 2.57 [U]Main Show [/U][/CENTER] Jason Azaria, Kyle Rhodes and JD Silver welcome everyone to TCW Malice in Wonderland and promise everyone that this will be a night to be remembered. -Rick Law is backstage being interviewed about his upcoming match with Texas Pete. [B]Law[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]I've beaten Texas Pete the last 2 times I was in the ring with him. If you think I'm gonna let him get one over on me when there's a chance to become World Champion is on the line you've gotta be out of your mind. I'll be damned if I let Pete beat me. Pete, you can mess with the Law all you want, but the Law will always win.[/COLOR]" ([B][COLOR="Red"]B-[/COLOR][/B]) [U] -Match #1- [B]Texas Pete vs. Rick Law[/B]-[/U] Law didn't toy around with Pete at all in this match. Law came in and tried to finish Pete off quickly so as to conserve his energy for the later rounds. Pete brought his A-game however and Law was only able to get a few near-falls. In the end though Law was able to hit a Long Arm of the Law that finished Pete off. Winner: [B]Rick Law[/B] in 10:03 Rating [B]([COLOR="Red"]B[/COLOR])[/B] -Tornado hypes his match with Liberty. [B] Tornado[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Liberty, let me put this into terms you may understand. Dude, I'm like gonna totally like hand you your ass tonight. Now with that said let me get back to English. Tonight I have an opportunity at the World Championship. There's no one in this tournament who has a chance of beating me. I walked into the building only having a match with the hippie, I'll walk out with a championship belt and my name in the record books. Tonight a star will be made and his name is Troy Tornado.[/COLOR]" ([B][COLOR="Red"]B+[/COLOR][/B]) -Libertys turn to speak. [B]Liberty[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]To all my fans out there, tonight is like so totally going to rule. I get to totally hand Troy Tornado his ass on a platter and then go on to win my 4th World Championship. Tonight is ginormous for me and all the little dudes and dudettes chanting my name and buying my merch. It's gonna be like tough, but I know I can pull it off. Liberty's too cool to be beaten by a sucktacular rocker, a bug eyed demon, a police man, a robot, bald people or fat people. Remember, Liberty with a World Championship, that's cool.[/COLOR]" ([B][COLOR="Red"]B+[/COLOR][/B]) [U]-Match #2- [B]Liberty vs. Troy Tornado[/B]-[/U] This was one of those matches I had my doubts about, but those doubts were quickly erased after this match got underway. Liberty, being the veteran that he is, was able to take control of Tornado in the early going. Liberty worked on wearing Tornado down. Tornado soon became desperate and pulled the ref between he and Liberty. He then sucker punched Liberty to take control of the match. Tornado wore Liberty down for a few minutes before going for a Star Maker. Liberty moved out of the way of it and made a comeback. He nailed Tornado with some punches and then went for a Liberation Slam. Tornado was able to elbow out of it. The 2 went back and forth for a minute before Tornado hit Liberty with a Star Maker. He made the pin, 1....2....3. Winner: [B]Troy Tornado[/B] in 12:35 Rating [B]([COLOR="Red"]A[/COLOR])[/B] [U] -Match #3- [B][COLOR="RoyalBlue"]TCW International Championship Match[/COLOR]- Giant Tana vs. American Buffalo vs. Wrestling Machine #2 vs. Rocky Golden (c)[/B]-[/U] Machine #2 was a last minute addition (because somebody had to replace Bryant). A pretty even match overall between these 4. In the end though it was Tana with a Big Fat Samoan Squash on American Buffalo that ended it and crowned a new International Champion. Winner and new TCW International Champion: [B]Giant Tana[/B] in 9:52 Rating [B]([COLOR="Red"]C[/COLOR])[/B] -Wolf Hawkins and Aaron Andrews are backstage with a very somber look on their faces, looking almost as though they could cry. Wolf talks for both of them when he says that they're dedicating all of their wins tonight to Tommy Cornell. Wolf says that they'll get back the title for Cornell. He says that there's nothing that can keep them from accomplishing their goal and going through everyone to get back what Tommy never lost. ([B][COLOR="Red"]C+[/COLOR][/B]) [U]-Match #4- [B]Wolf Hawkins vs. Joel Bryant[/B]-[/U] Now this is what you call a wrestling clinic. An interesting match to say the least considering that both Hawkins and Bryant are heels. It was Wolf who played face here trying to play up any sympathy he could from Cornells injury. Surprisingly enough people did cheer for him here. Throughout the match Bryant worked on the back and upper shoulder region of Wolf trying to soften him up for a One Shot Drop. Wolf took everything Bryant threw at him, but couldn't muster up enough strength to take control of the match. Bryant got Wolf onto his shoulders to try a One Shot Drop. Wolf wriggled his way off of Bryants shoulders and got behind him. He shoved him off. Wolf ran off the ropes for momentum and when Bryant turned around he was caught with an enziguri. Wolf and Bryant both went down. As both of them got to their feet it was Wolf who was first to strike. He hit Bryant with punch after punch and then took him down with a clothesline. Bryant back to his feet and now he eats a dropkick. He gets to his feet again and gets a dropkick to his knees. Bryant gets to 1 knee and Wolf runs off the ropes. He goes for a Full Moon Rising (Shining Wizard) but Bryant ducks the kick. He holds onto Wolfs other leg and floats over. Bryant gets a double underhook on Wolf and jumps over turning Wolf on his back for a pin. He only gets a near fall. Bryant throws a few elbows as he picks Wolf up. Bryant positions him on his shoulders. Bryant goes for a One Shot Drop again. He flips Wolf down, but Wolf lands on his feet. He runs off the ropes. Full Moon Rising connects with Bryant. Wolf gets a pinfall, 1.....2.....3. Wait, Bryants foot is on the bottom rope. The ref tries to tell that to Wolf, but he's already celebrating. Bryant makes it to his feet. He spins Wolf around and this time he connects with the One Shot Drop. Wolf is down and Bryant makes the cover. 1....2....3. Winner: [B]Joel Bryant[/B] in 21:16 Rating [B]([COLOR="Red"]B[/COLOR])[/B] -RDJ is backstage giving an interview about his upcoming match with BLZ Bubb. [B]RDJ[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]It looks like the odds are stacked against me tonight. Just a few days ago I was supposed to wrestle Tommy Cornell for the World Championship. Now, I have to go through BLZ Bubb and 2 more matches on top of that. I've overcome the odds before and I plan on doing so again tonight. Bubb, I'm going to get back what belongs to me, and if I have to go though you to do it I will. You've been warned Bubb.[/COLOR]" ([B][COLOR="Red"]B+[/COLOR][/B]) [U]-Match #5- [B]BLZ Bubb vs. Ricky Dale Johnson[/B]-[/U] Not much to say about this one. Bubb played the monster heel, Johnson played face in peril. Johnson was able to get Bubb down for the count after a Southern Justice, but the Darkness Warriors made their presence felt distracting the ref. Bubb with a low blow and a Hades Bomb was able to put RDJ away. Winners: [B]BLZ Bubb[/B] in 8:51 Rating [B]([COLOR="Red"]C+[/COLOR])[/B] -Wrestling Machine #1 had an interview to hype his match with Aaron Andrews. [B]Machine[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]I'm sorry to disappoint you tonight Aaron, but there's no way I'm letting you beat me tonight. You're not getting the World Title back and neither is Wolf Hawkins and that's fact. When I win this match I'll finally get another shot at BLZ Bubb and that's not an opportunity I'm gonna get too often. I'm gonna do everything I have to to get rid of you Andrews and then I'm coming for you Bubb.[/COLOR]" ([B][COLOR="Red"]C+[/COLOR][/B]) [U]-Match #6- [B]Aaron Andrews vs. Wrestling Machine #1[/B]-[/U] Whoa. Wasn't expecting that. Both of these men had something to prove here and the fire in their eyes showed that. Machine wanted Bubb and Andrews wanted to impress his boss by getting his title back for him. The match started out as a technical affair with Machine winning out, but Andrews surprisingly holding his own. Machine is fully in control of the match as Wolf Hawkins saunters down to ringside. Machine is so distracted by this he doesn't see Andrews on the top turnbuckle. Andrews hits a Flying Body Press. The ref makes the count, 1...2.. kick out by Machine. Andrews goes right on the attack trying to soften Machine up. Andrews goes up top again for a Flying Body Press, but Machine is ready for him this time. Machine rolls through keeping Andrews with him. He tosses him over in a fallaway slam. Andrews gets back up to get clotheslined down, and clotheslined again. Machine then hits Andrews with a Certain Defeat. He makes the pin, 1...2...3. Winner: [B]Wrestling Machine #1[/B] in 12:55 Rating [B]([COLOR="Red"]A[/COLOR])[/B] -Backstage the camera is on Rick Law as he prepares for his match with Troy Tornado when who should walk into view but Troy Tornado. [B]Tornado[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]Well, well, well look what we got here.[/COLOR]" [B]Law[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Shouldn't you be getting ready for our match?[/COLOR]" [B]Tornado[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]Don't worry about me, I'm more than ready to beat you. You should worry about yourself.[/COLOR]" [B]Law[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]I can say the same about you.[/COLOR]" [B]Tornado[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]Look, if you wanna pull out of this match and save yourself some embarrassment I'd be more than understanding.[/COLOR]" [B]Law[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]I've got a once in a lifetime shot and you really think I'd just drop out? You may be stupider than I thought.[/COLOR]" [B]Tornado[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]I'm gonna give you one more chance to drop out.[/COLOR]" [B]Law[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Maybe you didn't understand or maybe you just can't hear me, I'm not dropping out. You want to advance then you beat me in the middle of that ring.[/COLOR]" [B]Tornado[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]Listen, I'm rich. I can get you a little consolation prize for trying, kinda like one of those participation ribbons that are given to people that suck to make 'em feel special.[/COLOR]" [B]Law[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]You're rich?[/COLOR]" [B]Tornado[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]Yeah.[/COLOR]" [B]Law[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]From what?[/COLOR]" [B]Tornado[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]From when I sang for my band, Painful Procedure.[/COLOR]" [B]Law[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]How you could get rich from your voice is beyond me. I mean it sounded like a cat going through a meat grinder.[/COLOR]" [B]Tornado[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]Ya know what? Screw the consolation prize. I want you in the ring now so I can show the whole world how much of a loser you are.[/COLOR]" [B]Law[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]It would be my pleasure rock star.[/COLOR]" ([B][COLOR="Red"]B+[/COLOR][/B]) [U]-Match #7- [B]Troy Tornado vs. Rick Law[/B]-[/U] And if there was ever any doubt about these guys deserving their main event spots this match completely erased it. These two went all out and proved the future of TCW is indeed bright. Law brought a power game to the table and stuck with heavy strikes and powerful suplexes to wear Tornado down while Tornado relied on his mat wrestling, submission techniques and, of course, cheating. Law started the match in clear control of Tornado, but Tornado was resourceful. A couple dirty tricks later and Tornado was in control of the match. He wore down Law as best he could and was able to keep the momentum in his favor thanks to said dirty tactics. Law wised up to them though and made the big comeback knocking Tornado down multiple times before clotheslining him out of the ring. Law then did something he's never done before, he hit Tornado with a plancha on the outside. Law throws Tornado back into the ring, but takes too long getting in himself. Tornado starts pounding at the swell of the back of Law. Tornado continues his attack before hitting a reverse DDT. Tornado makes it to a corner and waits for Law to get up. Once he does Tornado charges out and goes for a Star Maker (Flying forearm). Law ducks under it and rebounds off the ropes. He comes back and hits Tornado with a Long Arm of the Law. He makes the cover, 1......2.......3. Winner: [B]Rick Law[/B] in 22:46 Rating [B]([COLOR="Red"]A*[/COLOR])[/B] [U]-Match #8- [B]Chance Fortune vs. Fumihiro Ota[/B]-[/U] This was an exhibition match mostly and what is commonly referred to as a "cool-down" match. After Tornado/Law they damn well needed it too. I'm not gonna write much about it since that last one tired me. Ota was able to connect with a Ninja Strike and pin Chance cleanly in this non-title match. Winners: [B]Fumihiro Ota[/B] in 7:31 Rating [B]([COLOR="Red"]B-[/COLOR])[/B] -Floyd Goldworthy is in the back with his client, Joel Bryant, to hype up their upcoming match. [B]Goldworthy[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]My client has beaten you before Tana and he'll do it again tonight. If you think you have any sort of advantage over Joel then you should probably think again because they sure didn't work last time. Unless you magically grew talent overnight you may as well just forfeit and save everybody some time. You'll probably be too stupid to do that though so ashes to ashes, dust to dust and all that other junk, get in our way and you're dead to us. I've said it before and I'll say it again, Mr. Bryant has acquired my services to lead him to championship gold and that's exactly what is going to happen tonight. Giant Tana is just another speed bump, a very large one at that, on Joel Bryants road to his destiny: The World Championship.[/COLOR]" ([B][COLOR="Red"]C+[/COLOR][/B]) [U]-Match #9- [B]Joel Bryant vs. Giant Tana[/B]-[/U] These 2 really brought their A, or should I say A* game here tonight. Maybe it was what was on the line or just these two wanting to put on a good show. Either way they had the fans in attendance on the edges of their seats the whole time. These 2 used the same strategies they used in their previous encounter. Bryant worked on the knees of Tana while Tana just tried to hurt Bryant as much as he could. Bryants strategy worked, but only for so long. Tana smartened up and was able to anticipate the attacks and catch Bryant. Bryant eventually got frustrated with that and just started trying to hurt Tana for the sake of hurting him. The sudden game plan change caught Tana off guard enough for Bryant to regain control. After weakening Tana he hit him with a One Shot Drop. Bryant makes the cover, 1......2...... shoulders are up. Bryant can't believe it and neither can Goldworthy. Goldworthy screams to Bryant to keep cool. Bryant didn't listen instead deciding to punish Tana even more. Bryant hammered away at Tana and was caught off guard. Tana lifted Bryant onto his shoulders and hit him with his own One Shot Drop. Tana makes the pin, 1...2... kick out. Tana picks Bryant up and backs him into the corner with a multitude of punches. Tana whips Bryant out of the corner, but Bryant holds on. He drags Tana to him and gets him on his shoulders. Tana squirms out of it and gets behind Bryant. He locks in a sleeper and looks to be going for the Unbreakable Sleeper. Bryant stays on his feet and backs Tana into the corner with force. Tana lets go of the Sleeper. Bryant charges the corner with a clothesline, but nobodies home. Tana runs into Bryant with a Big Fat Samoan Avalanche. He hits it and Bryant is looking up at the lights. Tana goes for a Big Fat Samoan Squash, but Bryant moves. Tana lands ass first with nothing to cushion his fall. Bryant springs off the ropes and hits Tana with a dropkick to the back. Bryant tries picking him up for a OSD, but Tana tries to fight back. He's cut short after a few elbows to the back of the head. Bryant goes for the OSD again and hits it. He makes the cover, 1.........2..........3. Winner: [B]Joel Bryant[/B] in 13:54 Rating [B]([COLOR="Red"]A*[/COLOR])[/B] [U]-Match #10- [B]BLZ Bubb vs. Wrestling Machine #1[/B]-[/U] Not as good as their last encounter, but following a match like that last one isn't an easy task. Machine caught Bubb off guard as he took the fight to him right off the bat. Machine was in control more often than not in this surprisingly even match. Bubb grew angry and fought back just hammering Machine. Machine tried blocking as much of it as he could until Bubb stopped. Bubb whipped Machine from one corner to another and charged in with a splash. Machine stumbles out and is caught with a kick to the gut. Bubb sets up for a Hades Bomb. Machine wants no part in that and flips Bubb over with a back body drop. Machine starts firing off shot after shot on Bubb rocking him and then taking him down. Machine in control of this match and he goes for a Certain Defeat. He hits it, 1...2...3. Winner: [B]Wrestling Machine #1[/B] in 12:49 Rating [B]([COLOR="Red"]B[/COLOR])[/B] -Machine celebrates advancing to the finals, but not for long. The Darkness Warriors jump him and beat him down. BLZ Bubb joins in the attack. The Brotherhood leave Machine a bloody mess. The DB continue their assault until Machines 2 and 3 make the save. Machine #2 grabs a mic and challenges Bubb. [B]Machine #2[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]I'm getting sick of this Bubb. I'm getting sick of needing a set of eyes surgically implanted into the back of my head because of you and your goons. My partner just beat you clean as a whistle. Now I'm challenging you to a match. You broke my wrist and took me out of action, but you made 2 mistakes when you did that. 1: You did it in the first place, 2: You didn't finish the job. I'm still standing here and I'm at 100% again. You and me in this very ring Tuesday night Bubb, what do you say? You're not gonna chicken out of this, are you?[/COLOR]" ([B][COLOR="Red"]C+[/COLOR][/B]) -Goldworthy and Bryant are giving an interview about the upcoming title match. [B]Goldworthy[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]I'm great at my job aren't I? I mean this man standing right next to me, Mr. Joel Bryant hired me mere weeks ago to take him to the top of this company and the top of this sport. And look what I did, Joel Bryant is now mere minutes away from accomplishing that goal already and it's all because of my master plan for him. Joel Bryant is the single toughest man in the business right now and he'll be more than happy to prove it tonight we he takes down that big piece of **** that is Rick Law and pins him to win the World Heavyweight Championship.[/COLOR]" ([B][COLOR="Red"]B[/COLOR][/B]) -Rick Law cuts a very heartfelt promo before going into the Championship Match. [B]Law[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]When I was a kid growing up I only wanted to be 1 of 2 things, A police officer or a professional wrestler and I think you all know which I chose. When I watched wrestling as a kid I saw the men who held that big gold belt. Many of them were heroes of mine. None more so than Sam Strong. I idolized that man, I wanted to be a wrestler just like him. In fact in my first match ever I won it with a Strong Arm Tactic. I got offers from TCW and the SWF around the same time. Do you know the reason I chose TCW over SWF even though I would be making a ton more money over there? It was because I wanted to work for the same company as Sam Strong. When I knew I was going to get to meet him I was like a kid in a candy store. I finally get to meet my hero in person, and do you know what he told me? He told me to just quit while I was ahead. He told me that I'd never mean anything to this business and that I would never be a star. From that day on a fire was lit inside of me. My goal became to prove Sam Strong wrong, to prove that I could be a star and I would be a star. Now I'm closer than ever to proving that bastard wrong. Once I win that World Championship I'll cement my spot in wrestling history. I hope you're watching this Sam and I hope your phone isn't busy because after this I'm gonna call you up to tell you I just proved you wrong.[/COLOR]" ([B][COLOR="Red"]B[/COLOR][/B]) [U]-Match #11- [B][COLOR="RoyalBlue"]TCW World Heavyweight Championship Match[/COLOR]- Joel Bryant vs. Rick Law[/B]-[/U] And the big title match was here. Two guys who had never held a World Championship before were competing over their first. They had a fire in their eyes and the people knew they were in for something great. Boy were they right, it looks like I made the right choice for finalists as this was a match for the ages. It started with a staredown by both men as the ref held up the Championship to remind them of what they were competing for. Both men were tired from their previous matches and they knew it. Both Bryant and Law tried to finish this match quick. They tied up and began exchanging holds before quickly going through a number of pinning predicament with plenty of near falls for both. Both men got back to their feet to the sound of the crowds applause. Law went after Bryant with a series of punches, but Bryant answered back with his own. Bryant went for an arm drag, but Law stopped him and hit one himself. From here on out all bets were off, these 2 went full throttle. Law gained the advantage with his brawling and powerful slams, but Bryant answered back with a roundhouse to the side of the head that put him in control. Bryant continued work on that neck and shoulder area trying to soften him up for a OSD. Bryants attack continues and expands to the arms of Law to try to take away his Long Arm of the Law finishing maneuver. Bryant gets Law up on his shoulders and hits a One Shot Drop. It looks like it's all over as the ref makes the count, 1....2... kick out. Bryant is shocked at only getting a near fall. Bryant goes for the pin again, and again only a 2. He decides to try again, but only manages 1 this time. Bryant picks Law up and hits him with another OSD. It looks like it may really be over this time. Ref makes the count 1 . . . 2 . . . Law gets his foot on the bottom rope just in time. Bryant is absolutely fuming at this point. He has Goldworthy distract the ref. Bryant takes the cover off of the top turnbuckle and picks Law up on his shoulders. Bryant sets him up, but he gets free. Law pushes Bryant chest first into the exposed turnbuckle. Law springs off the ropes. Long Arm of The Law connects. The ref sees the pin. He makes the count 1 . . . 2 . . . Bryant gets a shoulder up. Law can't seem to believe it. Law picks Bryant up and goes to work on him. Law slams him down with a running powerslam and goes up top. Law goes for a flying elbow drop. Bryant moves out of the way just in the nick of time. Laws clothesline arm looks hurt bad. Bryant, like a shark that smells blood, goes right after Laws arm. He puts him in a fujiwara armbar. The pain on Laws face is excruciating. He's in the middle of the ring. Will he tap or can he hold out? Law can't make it to the ropes as Bryant pulls him back every time he gets close. Law is able to pull his left arm to his chest and roll Bryant over. He hooks him in a roll up. Ref makes the count, 1....2.. Bryant kicks out. Bryant looks frustrated right now. He pulls Law up by the arm and sets him up for a OSD. Law escapes and locks Bryant into a Full Nelson Slam. Law collapses to the mat as well clutching his right arm. Law tries to pick Bryant up with his left arm, but Bryant fights back. Law hits Bryant with a Justice Jam, but from is left hand. Bryant doesn't look too affected and goes right after the arm wringing it. Law has enough and pushes him off the ropes. Law runs the ropes himself and hits Bryant with an admittedly weak looking LAotL. Law clutches his arm for a few seconds before making the cover. Big mistake as he walked right into a rollup as he tried for the pin. 1...2... Law gets his foot hooked on the middle rope. Bryant is growing more frustrated by the second. He then remembers the exposed turnbuckle. He picks Law up and whips him into the corner. Law puts the brakes on though using his foot to stop himself from hitting the turnbuckle. Law turns around and intercepts Bryant with a vicious Long Arm of the Law that turns Bryant inside out. Law wastes no time trying for a pin nursing his arm as he crawls to Bryant. Law makes the cover 1 . . . 2 . . . 3. Winner and NEW TCW World Champion: [B]Rick Law[/B] in 27:31 Rating [B]([COLOR="Red"]A*[/COLOR])[/B] -After that hard fought victory Laws hand is raised in victory and he's awarded the TCW World Heavyweight Championship belt. Confetti pours down from the top of the arena as Law goes to all 4 corners showing off his new belt. He then leaves the ring and goes out into the crowd to celebrate with the fans. ([B][COLOR="Red"]B+[/COLOR][/B]) Final Rating ([B]A[/B]) I took a huge and I mean huuuge risk here, but with a night full of star making performances like that who can complain. Cornells injury forced the future to get here a little quicker. Law, Bryant and Tornado completely stole the show here. I hope for my sake I can turn Law into a great champ, but only time will tell if he sinks or swims. [QUOTE][U]Quick Results[/U]: [I]-Rick Law defeated Texas Pete (B) -Troy Tornado defeated Liberty (A) -Giant Tana defeated Rocky Golden, Wrestling Machine #2 and American Buffalo (C) -Joel Bryant defeated Wolf Hawkins (B) -BLZ Bubb defeated Ricky Dale Johnson (C+) -Wrestling Machine #1 defeated Aaron Andrews (A) -Rick Law defeated Troy Tornado (A*) -Fumihiro Ota defeated Chance Fortune (B-) -Joel Bryant defeated Giant Tana (A*) -Wrestling Machine #1 defeated BLZ Bubb (B) -Rick Law defeated Joel Bryant (A*)[/I][/QUOTE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J Silver Posted February 7, 2007 Author Share Posted February 7, 2007 [CENTER][SIZE="5"][B]USPW[/B][/SIZE]: [SIZE="3"][B]Where Ages 65 and Older Get in For Free[/B][/SIZE][/CENTER] [QUOTE][B]Disclaimer[/B]: This diary is being done for fun. In other words none of it is to be taken seriously because let's face it, taking USPW seriously could seriously cause a need for anti-depressants.[/QUOTE] [CENTER][SIZE="4"] And so it begins...[/SIZE][/CENTER] It started out like any normal Saturday. As normal as my life gets anyways. I woke up, I ate lunch, I showered and then I did whatever it was my girlfriend was forcing me into this weekend. On the plate for today was going to an auction house to look for some furniture. Why? Because she has no clue what the words garage sale mean. When we got there we went our separate ways. As fun as trying to outbid some old people for something I don't want to begin with sounds like fun, I think I'll pass. I wandered the halls for a little while and eventually settled on sitting around trying to count the number of little holes there are in the ceiling tiles. Eventually I got bored with that too, so I went to look for my gf. I had no idea which room she was in so I just had to politely walk into each room and survey it. Yes, barging into an auction and yelling for her is polite, thank you very much. I had checked about 5 rooms now, but still no sign of her. Or maybe she was avoiding me. Who knows. Anyways, I have no idea what was so different about the 6th room I checked but for some reason I didn't just randomly shout out for her, I kept my mouth shut and looked around. It was mostly because my voice was starting to get hoarse, but it's the principle that matters. The auctioneer, the loud annoying guy who talks fast(for those who may not know), was seeming desperate to get rid of whatever it was he was selling, he was even going down on the opening bid of $25. He kept getting lower and lower and I became more and more curious what the hell he was auctioning. Eventually he starting going pretty low. "[COLOR="Purple"]$5, $5, only $5. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. This is the kind that only comes once in a lifetime. $5, only $5. Anyone? Anyone at all? Come on people, I'm practically giving it away[/COLOR]" Then I just had to open my mouth. "[COLOR="Blue"]One dollar.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Purple"]$1, we got $1. Anyone wanna make it 1 fitty? Ah, who the hell am I kidding? Sold for $1. Congratulations sir, you just bought something one of a kind.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]So what the hell did I just buy?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Purple"]A job.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]What kind of job?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Purple"]You're a booker now.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Wait, what? I work at a library now?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Purple"]No, you're booking for a wrestling company.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Oh. That kind of booker.[/COLOR]" After a long pause for contemplation I had to ask "[COLOR="Blue"]What company am I booking for?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Purple"]You're the new head booker of United States Pro Wrestling.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Can I have the dollar back instead?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Purple"]No sorry, you just signed a legally binding document.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]No I didn't.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Purple"]You did verbally and we have proof. This place is bugged with microphones everywhere.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]And what if I just don't pay you the dollar?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Purple"]Then we'll sue your ass.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"].......great.......[/COLOR]" Well, at least the gf can't keep bothering me with all the "When are you going to get a job", "I can't pay these bills alone." "We're 3 months behind on the rent.", "I told you the power was going to get shut off today.", "Here's a paper now start looking." crap she bugs me with. Speaking of the 'ol lady here she is. And she has has that 'I just bought a whole bunch of junk you'll never use and I'll stop using after a week' look on her face. I told her that I just got a job. After the initial burst of joy came the painfully obvious question "[COLOR="Green"]Wait, how the hell did you get a job?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]I bought it, and it didn't come with a receipt either.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]So what exactly does this job entail?[/COLOR]" Here comes the fun part.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J Silver Posted February 7, 2007 Author Share Posted February 7, 2007 [SIZE="3"]"[B]WHAT!!![/B]"[/SIZE] Those were the first words out of her mouth after I told her that I was booking for USPW. She's not much of a wrestling fan, but even she knows of the black hole of talent, skill, youth, and any possible redeeming quality that USPW is. It's not like I want to work there either, but if I don't I get sued. On the bright side it is a paying job. I think. I'll find out tomorrow when I meet with Sam Strong and Danny Jillefski anyways. [CENTER][IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/250px-Springfield-retirement.jpg[/IMG] [B]The Next Day[/B]: USPW Headquarters: Irony of the Day- It used to be a retirement castle.[/CENTER] Old people smell overtakes me and I wish I had a clothespin as I walk inside. I go up to the receptionist who is well past 70 I'd say. I asked her where I could go to see Mr. Strong. She put on her glasses which looked like 2 magnifying lenses welded together and asked me "[COLOR="MediumTurquoise"]Do you have an appointment here hot stuff.[/COLOR]" After the initial creepiness of that statement wore off I answered "[COLOR="Blue"]Yeah, I just bought job here and I have to see Mr. Strong about it.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="MediumTurquoise"]Second floor, down the hall 3 doors to the right. And do come back now handsome.[/COLOR]" I'm not even 5 steps into this place and it's already scaring the heebie jeebies out of me. And now I'm talking like an old person too, dammit. I took the stairs up to the second floor and went down the hall and went in the room 3 doors to the right. It was the kitchen. I went back down to the receptionist. "[COLOR="MediumTurquoise"]Done already, hot stuff?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]You just sent me to the kitchen.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="MediumTurquoise"]Well where's my prune juice?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Huh?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="MediumTurquoise"]I thought I told you I wanted you to get me some prune juice.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]And I thought I told you that I was here to see Sam Strong.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="MediumTurquoise"]You're even cuter when you're angry. If you want to see Mr. Strong he's 5 doors to the right.[/COLOR]" Well, that was still creepy, but at least I know where to go now. I went back up to the second floor and went in the door 5 down and to the right. It was the janitors closet. This was going to be a long day. I went back down to the receptionist and asked "[COLOR="Blue"]Did you want mop for some reason?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="MediumTurquoise"]What can I help you with now cutie pie?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]I went up to the second floor and went to the door 5 down and to the right. It was a janitors closet.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="MediumTurquoise"]I never told you to go to the second floor.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]You never told me not to.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="MediumTurquoise"]I said 5 to the right.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Fine. Whatever. I'm going.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="MediumTurquoise"]I'll be here when you get back hot stuff.[/COLOR]" This is just giving me more reason not to like old people. Anyways, I went 5 doors the hall on the first floor and prepared myself to find the bathroom. This was one time I'm glad I was wrong. I found Sam Strong behind his desk flanked by Danny Jillefski and a Big angry looking dude. The big angry guy came up to me and looked down on me very intimidating like. Then he opened his mouth and blew the illusion. In a high pitched voice he asked "[COLOR="Purple"]Do you have a reason to be here punk?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]I just bought a job here and...[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Purple"]Speak up, I can't hear you.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Say it don't spray it sasquatch. I said I'm here to talk to Sam.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Purple"]Do you want to take this outside?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Why? So you can be in your natural habitat?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]Stop it, both of you. Tiny, stop picking a fight with this man.[/COLOR]" Sam yelled out very irritated. "[COLOR="Purple"]But he hurt my feeling.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]That's no reason to hurt his body though. Mr, I didn't catch your name.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]It's Jay, just call me that.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]Well Jay, why don't you have a seat?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Has Tiny sat on it, I don't want it collapsing on me.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Purple"]That's it. You're done bitch!![/COLOR]" Tiny charged me but Danny held him back. I'm great at making friends, aren't I? Sam was getting pretty mad at the whole situation. "[COLOR="Green"]Stop it now Jay or I'll have you fired.[/COLOR]" A smile crept its way onto my face "[COLOR="Blue"]Really? Hey sasquatch, you smell like ****. Standing in the rain isn't a shower, ya know.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]You want to get fired, don't you?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Yes sir I do.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]Too bad.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]What, why not? Did I not just prove I'm a classless coward and unfit for working with the public in any capacity?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]Yes, but we need a scapegoat. You're perfectly qualified for that position.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]A scapegoat? But the receipt said head booker.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]That was just a formality. You're really here because this company is sinking faster than the Titanic.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Or dying faster than half the roster?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]I don't like you taking shots at my employees.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]I don't care. Let them hate me all they want. Any of them try to touch me I'll pull their walker out from under them and leave 'em helpless.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]You're very easy to hate.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]It's a natural gift. Look Mr. Strong, I really do not want this job. Is there any way out of it.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]Well, I suppose...[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]What? What? Anything, I'll do anything.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]If you really want out of this contract so bad then all you have to do is find a replacement.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Can do.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]A qualified replacement.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Dammit. I mean can do sir.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]And no taking a hobo off the street and dressing him up either.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]There goes plan B.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]I await meeting your replacement Jay.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]I'll have them right away.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]Good, because if you don't by Tuesday you're going to have to do your job.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Wouldn't want that sir.[/COLOR]" I walked out of that office with a smile on my face, and possibly some of Tinys spit on my face but I'd rater not think about that one. I walked down the hall ready to leave this building today and get fired tomorrow. Unfortunately I had to walk past that receptionist. She had one leg up on her desk and was leaning back in her chair, she winked at me as I was coming by and then poured prune juice on here shirt. That was a true test of my gag reflexes. And now to get fired... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J Silver Posted February 8, 2007 Author Share Posted February 8, 2007 One newspaper ad and message board spamming later I had an applicant. His application was interesting, he isn't qualified at all for a job that requires thinking, but a little white-out can change that no problem. I welcomed him into my office. [CENTER][IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/rman1.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] "[COLOR="Blue"]Hello Mr. ....[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]Nibbler, but my friends just call me Erik.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Friends, sure. Anyways here on your application it says that you work for a pet store. What exactly do you do there?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]I clean up stuff.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Alright, sounds fine. What exactly makes you think you're qualified to book a wrestling company?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]Could I just ask how much this job pays?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]I wouldn't know.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]Oh, alright.[/COLOR]" A long pause followed. "[COLOR="Blue"]You still didn't answer the question.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]Which one?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]The one about why you think you're qualified to do what I do.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]What do you do?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]I dunno, I haven't read the job description yet. But this isn't my job interview so let me ask the questions here.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]I'm sorry.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]You should be. Now for my next question, If you were in charge here what would you do?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]I would probably hire that Ultimate Parrot guy.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]It's phoenix.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]Parrot, phoenix, they all taste the same to me.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Taste?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]Yes.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]You mean like eat?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]Yea. They go really well with cat.[/COLOR]" I had to take a moment to think after that. "[COLOR="Blue"]You think you'll be able to keep your cannibalism secret in a meeting?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]Will it be over dinner?[/COLOR]" A long pause from me came as I contemplated the decision, "[COLOR="Blue"][B]Next!![/B][/COLOR]" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remianen Posted February 9, 2007 Share Posted February 9, 2007 Okay, that was just flat out funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J Silver Posted February 9, 2007 Author Share Posted February 9, 2007 This show is an hour and a half? Dear god, we're gonna need 15 matches with the kind of stamina around these parts. And the product is 80% matches? How the... Anyways, on with the show. [CENTER][B]USPW American Wrestling[/B] Wednesday, Week 1, January 2007 Held at Pennsylvania Park in front of 2,000 people (Sold Out) [U]Main Show[/U][/CENTER] -Bruce the Giant made his way down to the ring. Many people used this time to go get something to eat or drink or use the bathroom. Once he got in the ring he grabbed a microphone. In his hard to understand Australian accent he mumbled out that he could beat any man. Hell, he could even beat 2 men at once. He then challenged anyones to come out to accept his challenge. Who would accept the challenge but the job squad, I mean Patrick Cool and Cheetah Boy. ([B][COLOR="Red"]B+[/COLOR][/B]) [U]-[B]Bruce The Giant def. Cheetah Boy and Patrick Cool[/B]-[/U] When Bruce is the best worker in a match you know it's gonna suck. Bruce had his way with Patrick while Cheetah Boy tried to stay out of the way. CB did alot of cat mannerisms during this match including licking himself. Luckily his back can only bend so far. In the end Bruce chokeslammed and pinned both men. [B]([COLOR="Red"]D-[/COLOR])[/B] [U] -[B]The Demons Of Rage def. The Hillbillies[/B]-[/U] This match was a vomit inducing good time. I wonder who would win in a race between the Demons, the Hillbillies and a snail. I'm not a betting man, but my money is on the snail. Anyways the Demons hit a Double Demon Down on one of the Hillbillies and got a win. [B]([COLOR="Red"]E+[/COLOR])[/B] -Devine has the unenviable job of getting the crowd excited to see a Corporal Doom match. Devine says that he's going to go out there and wipe the floor with The Corporal. ([B][COLOR="Red"]D[/COLOR][/B]) [U]-[B]Darryl Devine def. Corporal Doom[/B]-[/U] Doom is better than most of the veterans here, but that still doesn't mean that Devine can pull a good match out of him. During the match Doom worked on Devines legs, probably to slow him down. Obvious reasons for that one. Devine came back to life though and was able to hit a Devine Dream Drop. [B]([COLOR="Red"]D[/COLOR])[/B] -Jim Force makes his way down to the ring with a mic in hand and a weird staring look on his face. [B]Force[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]MICK MUSCLES, YOU STAND NO CHANCE AGAINST THE POWERFUL MIGHT THAT IS THE FOOOOOOORCE!!!! YOU WILL FEEL THE FOOOOOOORCE!!! MICK MUSCLES YOU WILL KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKE TO TASTE THE TASTE THAT TATES LIKE DEFEEEEEEEEEAT!!!!!! YOU DO NOT STAND A CHANCE AGAINST THE POWER OF MY FOOOOOOOORCE!!!! RAAAARGHH!!!!!![/COLOR]" If you understood what he was trying to say feel free to email me the hidden meaning. ([B][COLOR="Red"]C-[/COLOR][/B]) [U]-[B]Jim Force def. Mick Muscles[/B] by DQ-[/U] The match was going alright with Mick in control, but Force kept screaming out unintelligible sentences and it eventually got Mick to crack. Mick got a steel chair and smashed it over Forces head. The crowd cheered Mick on. What the..., I thought Mick was the heel. I guess they saw that Muscles was only trying to help Force by smashing steel in his face. You know the old saying: If it's broke, break it more. [B]([COLOR="Red"]D-[/COLOR])[/B] -The ref seems upset at Muscles attack on Force, so Mick hits the ref with the chair too. All I can say to this grotesque act is ROID RAGE ~! ([B][COLOR="Red"]E+[/COLOR][/B]) -Darryl Devine is backstage getting something to eat when Peter Valentine runs into him. Valentine stares Devine down, but Devine is pretty confused. [B]Valentine[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]I hate you.[/COLOR]" [B]Devine[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]You do? Why?[/COLOR]" [B]Valentine[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]Because.[/COLOR]" [B]Devine[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Because why?[/COLOR]" [B]Valentine[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]I don't need a reason to hate you. I just do.[/COLOR]" [B]Devine[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Seriously, what's wrong with you?[/COLOR]" [B]Valentine[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]I don't like you.[/COLOR]" [B]Devine[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Yea, we've already established that.[/COLOR]" [B]Valentine[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]I want you in a match next week.[/COLOR]" [B]Devine[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Alright. Sounds good to me. Muffin?[/COLOR]" [B]Valentine[/B]: (Takes muffin) "[COLOR="Green"]Thanks.[/COLOR]" [B]Devine[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]You're welcome.[/COLOR]" Valentine: "[COLOR="Green"]Jerk.[/COLOR]" ([B][COLOR="Red"]C[/COLOR][/B]) [U] -[B]Danny Rushmore def. Tom E. Hawk[/B]-[/U] And if we wanted to test our viewers "change the channel" tolerance levels we just did it. One more sucktacular match this week. Rushmore made Hawk submit. How? I don't know. [B]([COLOR="Red"]E+[/COLOR])[/B] -Backstage Freddie Datsun and T-Rex are arguing over who gets a shot at Bruce the Giant's title. I guess neither were here for the open challenge earlier. Danny Jillefski steps between the 2 and makes a match for tonight pitting T-Rex and Freddie Datsun against each other for a shot at Bruce and the World Championship at USPW Stars, Stripes and Slams. ([B][COLOR="Red"]C[/COLOR][/B]) [U]-[B]The Lords Of War def. Savage Fury[/B]-[/U] This was slightly better than the last tag team match on the show. The LoW are big, mean and old. Savage Fury are big, mean, and not as old. The crowd was hot for this entire match. Seriously, some idiot left the thermostat at 78. Anyways, The Lords hit a War Machine on Tribal Warrior for the win. [B]([COLOR="Red"]D-[/COLOR])[/B] -The Demons run out, or walk quickly if you want to be realistic here, and attack the Lords of war. The two teams brawl into the back. ([B][COLOR="Red"]C-[/COLOR][/B]) [U]-[B]Freddie Datsun def. T-Rex[/B]-[/U] The "Every match I think could be good, but then I find they have bad chemistry dammit" curse haunts me even in a different promotion. Datsun and T-Rex went back and forth in this match with Rex eventually outpowering Datsun. He beat on Datsun for a few minutes. Datsun caught a second wind and fired shot after shot against T-Rex eventually getting him down. Datsun finished Rex off with a Patriot Press. [B]([COLOR="Red"]D[/COLOR])[/B] -Datsun celebrates his win as Bruce the Giant runs to the ring. A good sell job by Datsun here as by the time Bruce got down to the ring Datsun could've left the ring, went out for a little something to eat, had a nap, and then walked casually back to the arena and got back in the ring. Think I'm overexaggerating? So what if I am? Anywho, when Bruce hit the ring he went after Datsun and chokeslammed him down. ([B][COLOR="Red"]B-[/COLOR][/B]) [U]Final Rating[/U] [B](D-)[/B] There are many words I can use to describe this show. Unfortunately "good" is not one of them. [QUOTE][U]The Alzheimer's Post Show Recap[/U]: -Bruce The Giant def. Cheetah Boy and Patrick Cool (D-) -The Demons Of Rage def. The Hillbillies (E+) -Darryl Devine def. Corporal Doom (D) -Jim Force def. Mick Muscles by DQ (D-) -Danny Rushmore def. Tom E. Hawk (E+) -The Lords Of War def. Savage Fury (D-) -Freddie Datsun def. T-Rex (D)[/QUOTE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trackersan Posted February 9, 2007 Share Posted February 9, 2007 OK, any post that makes me laugh so hard that I'm almost in tears...while I'm sitting at my desk at work...is really a great work. Kudos to you and running USPW (into the ground?). I'd love to see you do this diary for more than a month, but I'll enjoy it while it lasts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J Silver Posted February 9, 2007 Author Share Posted February 9, 2007 [QUOTE=Trackersan;197425]OK, any post that makes me laugh so hard that I'm almost in tears...while I'm sitting at my desk at work...is really a great work. Kudos to you and running USPW (into the ground?). I'd love to see you do this diary for more than a month, but I'll enjoy it while it lasts.[/QUOTE] Hey, it's not like I'm trying to run it into the ground, The "talent", and I do use that word loosely, is. I'm doing my best to appeal to USPWs 2 main age group, the diaper wearing ones, ya know, 3 and 80. It's always nice to get some positive feedback. I do have the full game now and USPW is most likely the last chapter for me (I wanted to end it on a more light hearted note) so after this month, or two if I'm feeling ambitious I'll have a poll for which chapter to make into a full diary. You can vote for it there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J Silver Posted February 9, 2007 Author Share Posted February 9, 2007 Wow, that show was terrible. Maybe that'll be a sign to Sam Strong that I'm unfit and uncapable to save this company. Although I think at this point it would be better to convince him that I'm a horrible scapegoat, not photogenic at all. Anyways, it's time to try to find my replacement again. Mr. Nibbler was..... interesting to say the least, but I guess message boards aren't the best place to look for much of anything except people with no life complaining about everything. This time I decided to take out a professional looking ad. It goes a little something like this. [QUOTE] Looking for porffesional writer to work 3-4 days a weak. Experiense and digrees required. May work with the ederly from time to time. Paying job, porbably. Call Malthilde at 1-800-653-5239 to skedule appointment.[/QUOTE] Professional looking, huh? I even had it spellchecked. I just got my applicants resume. She has a college degree in writing, has a few books on the NY Times best sellers list and has volunteered at a retirement home. She's virtually perfect, how can anything go wrong now? [CENTER][IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/crazycatlady2.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] I welcome her into my office and had to look again. She brought her cat with her? "[COLOR="Blue"]Hello Mrs.....[/COLOR]" I should probably read the names off of these applications beforehand... "[COLOR="Green"]Katherine, but my friends just call me Kat.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Do all your friends have 4 legs?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]Why yes, how'd you know?[/COLOR]" Wasn't expecting that, "[COLOR="Blue"]Intuition.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]Oh, alright. What's that Mr. Fluffykins? You want to say hello? Say hello Mr. Fluffykins? Hello.[/COLOR]" She waving her cats paw btw pretending it's talking. "[COLOR="Blue"]Yea yea, hi furball.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]No no, it's Mr Fluffykins.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Fine, Mr. Fuzzball. Now for your interview.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]Mr. Fluffykins doesn't like it when you get his name wrong.[/COLOR]" She's now holding up his paws like he wants to box me. "[COLOR="Blue"]Alright already, I'm sorry Mr. Whiskers.[/COLOR]" Sorry you have to deal with this woman. "[COLOR="Green"]Mr. Fluffykins!![/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Fine Mr. F*ucking Fluffykins. Are happy now? Can we get on with this goddam interview or do I have to clean out his litterbox too?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]You're making Mr. Fluffykins afraid.[/COLOR]" No more afraid than his normal days with you I'm sure. "[COLOR="Blue"]Sorry Fluffykins, don't piss on my carpet because of this.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]You won't have to worry about that, Mr. Fluffykins is house trained.[/COLOR]" Trained or captured I wonder "[COLOR="Blue"]Now can we get to the damn interview?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]Why of course. Why don't you stretch your legs out Mr. Fluffykins?[/COLOR]" I think that cat is formulating his escape plans right about now. Maybe I'll help him a little. "[COLOR="Blue"]Before that why don't I open up this window with no screen at all in it.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]As I always say, fresh air never killed anybody.[/COLOR]" Then I wonder what killed Fluffys will to live. Oh wait, I know the answer to that. "[COLOR="Blue"]Now here on your resume it says that you have 5 books on the best seller list.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]Why yes I'm very proud of my work.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Well I'm hoping that you can keep up that quality of work here at USPW Publishing Ltd. Co. R. LLC.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]Have you read any of my work?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Why of course. I read that one about the umm.... boy who had that..... thing and did...... something, you know the one, it was a book. The name slips my mind all the time.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]The Adventures of Huckleberry Smith and Mr. Paws?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Yea yea, that's the one, 'The Adventures of Dingleberry Smith and Mr. Jaws'.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]Ooo, what did you think of it?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]It, it was... great. It was a great coming of age story between a boy and his dinosaur.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]Dinosaur?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]I meant cat. Sorry I can't pronounce a damn thing with this gosh darned cold [I]*cough**cough*[/I][/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]Oh, is it contagious?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]No, not at all. So, when do you think you'd be able to start he job?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]What is the job?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]I'm not sure, they don't tell you for 3 month, or at least that's what they told me.[/COLOR]" I really should read that job description. "[COLOR="Green"]So long as it doesn't have to do with wrestling or anything violent. If Mr. Fluffykins is ever exposed to violence he'll go on a murderous, drug fueled killing spree stealing cars and shooting hookers like in those horrible excuses of games.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Hypothetically, what if this job was for a wrestling company? Hypothetically.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]I'm sorry but I would have to take down this hate mongering establishment.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Hmm, I see.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]Yes, but it's a good thing this is nothing more than a publishing company. Isn't that right Mr. Fluffykins?[/COLOR]" She goes and picks up Mr. Fluffykins. Stupid cat, you should've ran and never looked back. I left the window open for a reason. "[COLOR="Blue"]Yea, of course. Nothing but a publishing company. Thank you for your time in this interview, but I don't think you're what we're looking for.[/COLOR]" Because you're nuttier than a can of Planters Peanuts. Now on sale at you're local food store. This advertisement has generously been paid for by Planters. "[COLOR="Green"]Aww, that's too bad. Me and Mr. Fluffykins really liked you.[/COLOR]" [I]*Lightbulb*[/I] "[COLOR="Blue"]Well, I'm sorry that it didn't work out here at USPW Publishing Ltd. Co. R. LLC. However, I have a friend I'm sure would love to meet you and Mr. Fuzzball.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]Really?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Yup, his name is Erik Nibbler. He's working his second job down at the pet store right now. If you hurry you can catch him before his shift is over. Why don't you ask him out to dinner? Chinese maybe.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]Is he a publisher too?[/COLOR]" *silent pause* "[COLOR="Blue"]Sure, let's go with that.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]Oh thank you, thank you, you won't regret that decision.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Good luck.[/COLOR]" What?? Stop looking at me like that. I did it for that cat's own good. [I]*sniff*sniff*[/I] What's that smell? What the... That damn cat pissed on my carpet!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remianen Posted February 9, 2007 Share Posted February 9, 2007 [QUOTE=Trackersan;197425]OK, any post that makes me laugh so hard that I'm almost in tears...while I'm sitting at my desk at work...is really a great work. Kudos to you and running USPW (into the ground?). I'd love to see you do this diary for more than a month, but I'll enjoy it while it lasts.[/QUOTE] That's what I was saying! This is probably the first USPW diary in 07 that actually makes USPW somewhat palatable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J Silver Posted February 10, 2007 Author Share Posted February 10, 2007 Well, it looks as if I'm gonna have to book another show for this god forsaken hell hole. Worse yet, I'm starting to smell like old man and I even yelled at my paper boy to get off my lawn. In my defense I don't know whether that was because he was pissing on my house or what? What was I talking about? Oh, the talent sucking. That's right. Since I'm stuck here I may as well do something about it. And if I'm gonna do something, I'm gonna do it right. I'm not gonna half-heartedly half-ass something; I'm going to whole-heartedly half-ass it! It's about time to put into place a New Talent Initiative. I hire new workers who may not be over, but are definitely good and can get over. In order to fit the new guys in I'm gonna have to trim the fit. [B] Thursday Morning, January 7 2007[/B]. The Office was quiet as I awaited the presence of a select few very special workers from the roster. I could hear crickets chirping, I could hear the rats tunneling through my walls, I could still smell the cat piss. Then, it happened. Into my office came these very special workers who I was going to reward. Cheetah Boy, Patrick Cool, Tom Hawk, Bull Wrecker, Oscar, Robbie Sanchez, and Sheik Mustafa. They entered my office, smiles on faces, a smile on mine (you'll understand later). I greeted them "[COLOR="Blue"]Hello gentlemen, I hope you're doing well.[/COLOR]" They all talked of how great this was that they were here for their rewards. I assured them they would thank me for this someday. I handed out brown manila envelopes now available at your local Staples stores nationwide to the workers. They had their names written in magic marker on them. My sharpie had cat piss on it too, sue me. With excited faces all around I told them to open their envelopes. They did. The looks on their face were priceless, which is why I had my digital camera, buy now at your local Best Buy, on hand. Out they all pulled a very special pink slip of paper. Written on it were the magical words "You're fired bitches. Pack up your stuff and don't let the door hit you on the way out or Tiny will." Shock engulfed the room. I'm not sure why, any idiot coulda seen that one coming. An uproar in my tiny office (and I mean tiny, 10x10 is all I get?) broke out. I stood atop the desk and yelled "[COLOR="Blue"]Everyone shut the f*** up!!![/COLOR]" All their yelling now was thrown at me. "[COLOR="Blue"]Alright everyone shut the f*** up!!! I can't hear all of your pointless complaints at the same time. Go one at a time dammit.[/COLOR]" Mustafa was first. "[COLOR="Green"]I'M OUTRAGED!!![/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]And I'm going deaf. You don't have to yell, I'm standing right here.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]I'm outraged. After all the time and energy I put into this place you're just going to kick me to the curb?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]That was the plan.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]Do my contributions mean nothing?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]What contributions?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]Do my blood sweat and tears mean nothing?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]No.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]Why are you doing this to me?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]You expect me to pay your old wrinkled ass to be a road agent?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]Yes. Is there a problem with that?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]If you can't do your job properly then you don't deserve a job. Now get your old ass out of my office before I throw you out.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]I need to put food in my families mouth.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Your wife's dead and your kids live on their own.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]I still need to eat.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Get a job with NYCW, I hear they like old guys with no talent. Whatever you do get the hell out of my office.[/COLOR]" Mustafa is visually broken. He sulks out of my office. I'm starting to feel a little bad right now. "[COLOR="Blue"]Hey. Mustafa.[/COLOR]" His eyes lit up "[COLOR="Green"]Yes?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]You forgot your cane.[/COLOR]" There, now I feel better. "[COLOR="Blue"]Anyone else?[/COLOR]" Bull Wrecker and Tom Hawk left my office. I guess they realize that they suck, the rest, not so much. Cheetah Boy steps up now. "[COLOR="Green"]Why do I have to lose my job?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Because I have to clear up the roster for younger wrestlers.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]But I'm young.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Yea, but you also suck.[/COLOR]" Cheetah Boy quietly sulked out of my office. I think I broke his spirit. I'm getting good at this. Next up to bat was Patrick Cool. A little background on this guy to tell you what he's like. His character is a guy who's cool. How is he cool? Because he wears a baseball cap, but not just any ordinary baseball cap, a backwards one. He then expects the fans to connect with him because he's cool. Unfortunately for him he was never able to get over. Why? There are 3 reasons for that, 1. He sucks in the ring, 2. He sucks on the mic and English in general, and 3. He sucks at character development. Now onto this argument. "[COLOR="Green"]Why do I have to get fired?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Why wouldn't I fire you?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]Because I'm a great wrestler, I'm good on the stick and the people love me.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]How many Patrick Cool action figures have we sold?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]I don't know. Nobody told me.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Nobody told you because nobody bought any.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]I though you said you were doing this to bring in young talent.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]I am.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]But we are young talent.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]In the bylines of the holy book of booking, chapter 72, section 10, sub-section 4, foot-note 11 it also says to get rid of talent who suck.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]And where is this book?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]I'm working on the publishing deal right now.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]This ain't cool dawg.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Neither are you.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]I ain't leaving until I get my paycheck from last month.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]You didn't get paid because you didn't work you nimrod. Now if you're done making an idiot out of yourself get the f*** out of my office.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]I'm gonna sue you for this.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Why don't you hire a detective to find your talent for you first? Oh right, there never was any.[/COLOR]" Patrick Not Cool left my office angry. Well, 4 out of 5 ain't a bad number. Before Oscar or Sanchez could say anything I pointed to each of them and explained my reasoning. "[COLOR="Blue"]You suck and you suck. Now get outta here.[/COLOR]" Make that 6 out of 7. woot woot. I think that went rather well. Now all I gotta do is hire the new guys. I probably should've done that first.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J Silver Posted February 11, 2007 Author Share Posted February 11, 2007 OOC: Before getting into the show let me just say something right now. I'm sure alot of people are going to wonder why I'm going this direction with USPW and the new talent. The answer is simple: USPW is a company based on entertainment, humor and being family friendly. Every USPW diary I see tries to make it into little more than a pure wrestling promotion with some storylines thrown in. That's not how I'm going to run this promotion though. With that said, on with the show. [CENTER][B]USPW American Wrestling[/B] Wednesday, Week 2, January 2007 Held at The Den in front of 2,000 people (Sold Out) [U]Dark Matches[/U][/CENTER] -Rudy Velasquez defeated William Hayes in 7:05 by pinfall with a Street Cutter. (D+) ([I]William Hayes and Rudy Velasquez have great chemistry. Well that's a nice change of pace.[/I]) -Bruce The Giant defeated T-Rex in 4:52 by pinfall with a Giant Choke Slam. (C) ([I]Selling problems of course[/I]) [CENTER][U] Main Show[/U][/CENTER] -Trent Shaffer and Frankie Perez, going by the tag team name The Dudez!!!1! Talk about the hillbillies. [B]Perez[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Hey man, can you believe we have to wrestle a bunch of smelly hillbillies?[/COLOR]" [B]Shaffer[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]Nah man, but I'll tell you this, we ain't losing to inbreds.[/COLOR]" [B]Perez[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]I feel you on that man, we gonna go beat some hick ass.[/COLOR]" ([B][COLOR="Red"]D-[/COLOR][/B]) [U] -[B]The Dudez!!!1! def The Hillbillies[/B]-[/U] The Hillbillies were easy opponents for the Dudez, they couldn't move and the Dudez ran circles around them, literally. Good thing they didn't get caught in their gravitational fields though. They put the Hillbillies away with a Perfect Parity, although I can't for the life of me remember telling them they could get their own finisher yet. Oh, and Perez and Shaffer can't do anything right together. Just figured I'd throw that out there. [B]([COLOR="Red"]E[/COLOR])[/B] -Thomas Morgan, newcomer to USPW as part of the New Talent Initiative (i.e. Prepare to replace geriatrics policy) is backstage with a guitar. He sits down on an equipment box and starts singing. Let me give you all a little idea of what it sounded like, ever hear the sound of a cat going through a meat grinder? ([I]This diary is starting to get full of animal cruelty jokes, huh?[/I]) Neither have I but I'd imagine it's not a pretty sound. [B]Morgan[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Oh my name is Thomas Morgan I'm the geetar man, I'm the geetar man Playing when I can Dee dee dee dee dum, you hear the drum Of the geetar man Oh, the geetar man is back in a ring again.[/COLOR]" Morgan stops playing as people start throwing their drinks at him. ([B][COLOR="Red"]E+[/COLOR][/B]) -Backstage is Jacob Stranton, a new manager who has come to USPW as part of the NTI. [B]Stranton[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]I'd like to introduce myself, my name is Jacob Stranton and I'm new here in USPW. I'll hold on while the shock of hearing the words USPW and new used in the same sentence without the word not settles in. It came to my attention that this living museum was hiring and I figured I'd capitalize on it. I recently got back from a trip to the Samoan Islands, a place full of savages and beasts. I was able to capture one and have brought him back with me to do my bidding. I'd like everyone to meet Umaga.[/COLOR]" ([B][COLOR="Red"]D-[/COLOR][/B]) [U]-[B]Umaga def. Captain USA[/B]-[/U] Can you say squash. No, not craptacular, squash. Repeat after me, squash. Squash. Umaga squashed USA after a Savage Charge. [B]([COLOR="Red"]E[/COLOR])[/B] -And as if that wasn't bad enough Umaga decides to add injury to injury, kinda like adding 1+1, although I'm not so sure he can do that. Stranton directed traffic as Umaga beat whatever life was left in USA out of him. Afterwards Stranton threw a pamphlet for a retirement home on him because he's concerned about his health. Hey, it's possible. ([B][COLOR="Red"]E[/COLOR][/B]) -Thomas Morgan is walking around backstage covered in various colors of squishee strumming on his guitar. He bumps into Mean Jean Cattley. [B] Cattley[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Watch where you're going dumbass.[/COLOR]" [B]Morgan[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]Sorry. I didn't see you. I was busy working on this new song I'm writing. Hey, maybe I could sing it to you as an apology.[/COLOR]" [B]Cattley[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]You dare try singing and I hope for your sake you like the taste of guitar.[/COLOR]" [B]Morgan[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]Sit down and relax while I tune my geetar.[/COLOR]" [B]Cattley[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Listen to me you retard, If you even think about singing within 50 yards of me that guitar of yours is going to meet my friend.[/COLOR]" [B]Morgan[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]Who's your friend?[/COLOR]" [B]Cattley[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Mr. Woodchipper.[/COLOR]" [B]Morgan[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]Now I can stand you insulting me, but the second you talk bad about my geetar you've crossed the line. I challenge you to a match right now![/COLOR]" [B]Cattley[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Fine with me, I got nothing better to do.[/COLOR]" ([B][COLOR="Red"]E+[/COLOR][/B]) [U][B] -Mean Jean Cattley def. Thomas Morgan[/B]-[/U] A pretty even match between the "Country Superstar" Thomas Morgan and Mean Jean Cattley. In the end though Cattley kicks Morgans guitar out from under the ring corner and Morgan goes to grieve about it. Cattley rolls him up and pulls the tights for the win. [B]([COLOR="Red"]E[/COLOR])[/B] -A pre-taped package airs for Citizen X. He's at a golf course and he's playing golf. Badly too, although the cheesy editing makes it look as though he always gets a hole in one. Cheesy inspirational music plays in the background as well. At the end X says that he's coming to USPW to beat their stars at what they're best at, golf. (Because it sure ain't wrestling.) ([B][COLOR="Red"]D[/COLOR][/B]) -The Lords of War have an interview about a match with the Demons of Rage. Add in the Leprechauns of Lucky Charms and it may just get interesting, but enough insults for now. The lords say they've been around the block before, multiples times. Understatement anyone? The Lords say that after that attack last night ([I]The brain cells are always the first to go[/I]) the Demons crossed the line attacking them from behind. Tonight Pain is going to put Anger in pain. Oh, that's so punny. ([B][COLOR="Red"]C[/COLOR][/B]) [U]-[B]Warlord Pain drew with Demon Anger[/B]-[/U] Nearly 8 whole excruciating (for the fans) minutes into this match and Pains chest is in pain. Oh, and the "Every match I think could be good, but then I find they have bad chemistry dammit" curse has a thing for me. I'm sure of it. Anyways, this match (mercifully) ended after each mans respective partners attacked the other guys partner. [B]([COLOR="Red"]D[/COLOR])[/B] -A video package airs from "Maxmillion Productions" [B]Zeus Maxmillion[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]My name is Zeus Maxmillion and I am an exceptional director and fantastic wrestler. I have been contacted by USPW to help their production team because the arthritis is really dragging them down. But, I am The Great Zeus Maxmillion and I am an artist. I will not abandon my craft for some old fossils, but I will use what I have and improvise. Today I bring you a special behind the scenes look at the making of my new epic movie, 'Epic Movie'.[/COLOR]" The package cuts to Rudy Velasquez dressed like a soldier with an Uzi in one hand and his lines written in sharpie on the other. T-Rex is there too, and he's in a wig. Here's a little sample of the script. [B]Velasquez[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]Oh Rexina, I'm gonna pop a cap in the ass of whatever Martian killed your Fathers, uncles, brothers, second cousin twice removeds, nieces, daughters sister and avenge you.[/COLOR]" [B]Rex[/B]: "[COLOR="Purple"]Oh Commander Braveguy, I think I'm in love.[/COLOR]" Zeus is back on screen now. "[COLOR="Blue"]I'll reveal my masterpiece next week. Be there or be a loser.[/COLOR]" ([B][COLOR="Red"]D-[/COLOR][/B]) -Jim Force is backstage ranting on about something or other. I still can't understand a damn thing he's saying. [B]Force[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"][B]MICK MUSCLES, YOU HALFWITTED PERVEYOR OF PERVILENCE. YOU HAVE PERSERVERED THROUGH THE FORCE OF THE FORCE, BUT YOU WILL NOT BE CAPABLE OF CONVEYING THE CARTHOID OF PAIN THAT I WILL INFLICT UPON YOU. THE FORCE WILL CRUSH YOUR ABILITY TO BEAT ME AND SEE ME THROUGH TO THE VERY END. I WILL CUSTOMIZE A CRUEL CANUNDRUM FOR ANYONE WHO DARE TRY TO STEP IN THE WAY OF THE FORCE AND CAUSE THE FORCE TO LOSE FORCE. BUY MY MERCHANDISE. THE FORCE WILL TEAR THROUGH THE VERY MARBLE FIBERS OF YOUR BEING.[/B][/COLOR]" Lucky for the fans "Mr. Hole in One" Citizen X is here as he bends a golf club over Forces head. ([B][COLOR="Red"]C-[/COLOR] for psycho babble, [COLOR="Red"]E+[/COLOR] for attack[/B]) [U]-[B]Citizen X defeated Jim Force for the [COLOR="RoyalBlue"]USPW National title[/COLOR][/B]-[/U] Not much to say about this match. Force was knocked loopy from the golf club shot and never recovered. X hits a Hole in One on Force and uses the ropes for leverage. X becomes the new National Champion. [B]([COLOR="Red"]D-[/COLOR])[/B] -Freddie Datsun is in Danny Jillefskis office demanding a shot at Bruce the Giants Championship. Jillefski says that he'll think about it, but Datsun doesn't like that answer. Jillefski, after some gentle persuasion grants Datsun a match with Bruce at Stars, Stripes, and Slams! ([B][COLOR="Red"]C[/COLOR][/B]) -Darryl Devine had to get people excited for a Corporal Doom match last week and now he has to get them excited about a Peter Valentine match. I feel bad for the guy, I really do. He's still not getting a raise, but I feel for the guy. During the interview Devine said he still has no idea what Valentines problem with him is, but he'll beat him anyways. ([B][COLOR="Red"]C[/COLOR][/B]) [U] -[B]Darryl Devine def. Peter Valentine by DQ[/B]-[/U] Valentine had a look of anger on his face while Devine was still confused what he'd done to him. Devine was in control of most of this match. Valentine became infuriated and pulled a pair of brass knuckles out of his tights and leveled Devine with them. [B]([COLOR="Red"]D-[/COLOR])[/B] [U][B]-Freddie Datsun def. Corporal Doom[/B]-[/U] The 37 year old and the 49 year old locked up in the main event of the night. Why was it the main event? Because I had a feeling everything else tonight would suck and damn was I right. I think this match saved the show too. Datsun controlled most of the match, but Doom was able to get his shots in too. Datsun was able to put Doom away with a Patriot Press. [B]([COLOR="Red"]C-[/COLOR])[/B] -Datsun celebrates keeping his back to where Bruce is coming from for the entire time it takes for Bruce to get down to the ring. I'm starting to think about getting the interns to put skate boards on the bottom of his feet and pushing him down to the ring. It would sure save alot of peoples attention spans from mindless death. Anyways Bruce rolls into the ring and puts his angry face on and Datsun finally turns around. He then gets chokeslammed. ([B][COLOR="Red"]B[/COLOR][/B]) Final Rating ([B]D+[/B]) This New Talent Initiative may take a little while to work. [QUOTE][U]The Alzheimer's Post Show Recap[/U]: [I]-The Dudez!!!1! defeated The Hillbillys (E) -Umaga defeated Captain USA (E+) -Mean Jean Cattley defeated Thomas Morgan (E) -Warlord Pain drew with Demon Anger (D) -Citizen X defeated Jim Force (D-) -Darryl Devine defeated Peter Valentine (D-) -Freddie Datsun defeated Corporal Doom (C-)[/I][/QUOTE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragonmack Posted February 11, 2007 Share Posted February 11, 2007 Mean Jean Catteley and Thomas Morgan pull an E? :eek: I guess the USPW suckitude is catching! :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J Silver Posted February 11, 2007 Author Share Posted February 11, 2007 [QUOTE=Dragonmack;197830]Mean Jean Catteley and Thomas Morgan pull an E? :eek: I guess the USPW suckitude is catching! :p[/QUOTE] I guess that's what I get for booking a promotion that relies heavily on overness. How else can you explain my highest rated match there being Bruce The Giant/T-Rex? -------------- This job is slowly draining the life out of me. The stench of old people won't come out of my skin anymore, I think my hair is graying, I can't get the smell of cat piss out of my carpet, I can't book a show worth a damn in this company, that secretary is still hitting on me, and worst of all I can't find a damn replacement. Shouldn't getting fired be the easiest part of any job? I wanna avoid arson if I can, but it's not looking too good. 2 applicants already and both somehow are less qualified than me to be doing this job. The next applicant should be better, I made sure to check his medical history too. This one isn't insane. He seems competent enough. He's got the qualifications. He actually applied for the job. I don't see how this could go wrong. It will, but I don't see how. I hear the knock on my door "[COLOR="Blue"]Come on in.[/COLOR]" The door opens, but I don't see anyone there. I guess ding dong ditch got a new meaning. "[COLOR="Blue"]Hello? Anybody there?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]I'm right here.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Huh? Who's there?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]I'm standing right in front of you.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Where?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]Look down dumbass.[/COLOR]" I looked down. [IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/midget.jpg[/IMG] I think someone lied about their age. "[COLOR="Blue"]Wow, you're a weird looking 12 year old.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]You making fun of me?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Huh?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]I'm not a kid, I'm a grown man.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Yea, sure you are. How old are you 13? 14?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]I'm 27.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Sure. What are you? A leprechaun? You trying to steal me lucky charms?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]Very funny. If you don't cut it out I'm gonna kick your ass.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Well Mr. 27 year old grown man, why are you here today?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]To get a job dumbass.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Watch who you're calling a dumbass.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]Why should I?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Because I'm the judge, jury and executioner around here and if you want this job you better get on your knees and start kissing my ass.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]I'm not gonna get on my hands and knees for you.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Yea, you're right. You can just do it standing up.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]Alright, I'm about one more short joke away from kicking your ass.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Look, I can put you in a paper bag and let you try to fight your way out at anytime, so I'd watch my mouth if I were you.[/COLOR]" I feel like I'm forgetting something.... "[COLOR="Green"]I swear to god If you take one more shot at my people you're going down.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Hey, why are you here again?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]I came for the job before you started insulting me.[/COLOR]" So that's what I was forgetting... "[COLOR="Blue"]Oh right. So what's your name?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]Isn't it on that application I gave you?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]I can't read that chickenscratch.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]My name is...[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Wait!! Let me guess. I knew I recognized you from somewhere. You're Verne Troyer aren't you?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]Okay, that's it. I'm kicking your ass.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Whoa whoa whoa, hold on Mini-Me, that was a compliment. I mean I loved your work in those movies.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]I'm not Verne Troyer![/COLOR]!" "[COLOR="Blue"]Hmm, that's what the last midget told me too....[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]My name is Troy Winters.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]So you're not Mini-Me?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]That's it!!![/COLOR]" Mini-me charged at me, his little fist in the air. I didn't want to have to do this, but I smacked him in the head with my chair. It knocked him out instantly. Suddenly the door is kicked in and Tiny runs in yelling "[COLOR="Purple"]I heard a commotion. What's going on?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]I didn't do it. It- It was self-defense.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Purple"]You beat up a midget?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]It was self defense. You'll vouch for me right? Right?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Purple"]You know what we gotta do?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]What do we do? Do we dump the body?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Purple"]Nah, we only do that with dead people.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]That would've been useful information 5 years ago.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Purple"]What?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Huh?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Purple"]We gotta give him over to the orphanage.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]You think they'll accept him?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Purple"]We'll leave him on the steps like they do in cartoons and movies. They'll have no choice but to accept him.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Tiny, you're a genius.[/COLOR]" An hour later we get back from handing the young child over to the orphanage. I feel like I've done some wonderful thing for this world. That and who would actually look for him there? Well, that's one more failed applicant. I don't know where this one went wrong. I mean, he violently attacked and I had to subdue him. The last one was insane and the one before that was a cannibal. What am I doing wrong here? Maybe I should work on my people skills... 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