USPW: Where Ages 65 and Older Get in For Free

[Astil]

Heres a name for that Old Guy tag team, Rocking Chair Rebels

[Rob4590]

You sold a Giant Oak shirt??? :eek: I don't believe you! I reckon it was just pinched by his proud dad. :p

[Dragonmack]

Forcibly Senile Babbling Codgers Cantankerous Coots

[J Silver]

[QUOTE=Rob4590;210426]You sold a Giant Oak shirt??? :eek: I don't believe you! I reckon it was just pinched by his proud dad. :p[/QUOTE] Funny story actually... ---- Another show, another day of my life wasted. At least they're getting better. After the show was over I was given a bit of good news. I was going to Sams office (yes, voluntarily) to tell him about it. I opened the door and walked into his office. For once he was actually doing something. "[COLOR="Green"]What do you want?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Hell froze over.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]What are you talking about? My ex-wife hasn't dropped the divorce settlement brother.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]I won't ask about that.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]It would be best if you forgot I said that brother.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Yea, already done. Anywho, we actually sold a Giant Oak T-shirt.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]About time. Wait, only 1?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]What do you expect? Overnight stardom?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]Why yes, actually I do and so does Giant Redwood.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]As far as I'm concerned Redwood can go f--- himself.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]That's no way to talk about a friend of mine brother.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]I can file for harassment against him from the e-mails he keeps sending me.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]Those are probably prank e-mails. Redwood would never do that.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Redwood is an old, bitter son of a bitch.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]I don't want you talking about him like that again! Do you understand me?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]But...[/COLOR]" '[COLOR="Green"]SHUT IT![/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]I ju..[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]SHUT IT![/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Wha..[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]SHUT IT![/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]I..[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]SHUT IT![/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Your car's on fire.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]SH.. What?!?! Where? Where's the fire?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Gotcha.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]Don't pull that kind of crap on me again. Now if we're done here I have work to do.[/COLOR]" I left Sams office and went back to my own. I didn't really feel this was an important detail for Sam to hear, but I was the one who bought the Giant Oak T-Shirt. I'm not an Oak fan though. I bought it for some crazy bum in the food court who wouldn't stop bothering me. I shoved it in his mouth and he stopped annoying me. I think he stopped breathing too.... And before I forget... [QUOTE][CENTER][IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/Oakshirt.jpg[/IMG] [B][SIZE="4"]THE GIANT OAK T-SHIRT[/SIZE][/B] [B]Get yours now!! Please! Seriously, buy it! We spent $5000 on Korean slave child labor to silkscreen these things! Help us out some! Think of the children![/B][/CENTER][/QUOTE]

[MrOnu]

Great job on the diary. It's entertaining and funny as hell. Keep up the good work ! *prepares his "I came to see Giant Oak" sign for next show.* :D

[Payne]

Shirt is better than mine. Way to go. Still love this place

[J Silver]

Thanks to everyone for the comments. They're appreciated. ------ [B]USPW[/B]: Where wanting to be used is wanting to be jobbed. Right half the roster? With that said, on with the show... ------ [CENTER][IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/USPWAAW-1.jpg[/IMG] [B]USPW All American Wrestling[/B] Saturday, Week 4, April 2007 (Airs Wednesday) Held at The Grissom Auditorium Att.2,000 (Sold Out) [U]Dark Matches[/U][/CENTER] -Trent Shaffer defeated Bulldozer Brandon Smith and King Carvill in 7:18 when Trent Shaffer defeated King Carvill by pinfall with a Heart Burn. [B](D-)[/B] ([I]And in the 'Let's get them on the card spectacular'.[/I]) -Freddie Datsun defeated Rudy Velasquez in 6:51 by pinfall with a Patriot Press. [B](C)[/B] ([I]They had good chemistry together. Remind me to feud these 2 in the near future.[/I]) [CENTER][U]Main Show[/U][/CENTER] -And we start off the show with DDD, still bandaged up, in Danny Jillefskis office. [B]Jillefski[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]Let me assure you Mr. Devine you will get your title shot whenever you choose to take it, but not until you're healed up.[/COLOR]" [B]DDD[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Well thank you for the sentiment, but I want Umaga tonight.[/COLOR]" [B]Jillefski[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]I'm sorry, but I just can't do that.[/COLOR]" [B]DDD[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]I don't care if the title's on the line if that's what this is all about. I just want to hurt Umaga after what he did to Muffin last week.[/COLOR]" [B]Jillefski[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]This isn't about the title, this about you're health. You're not even medically cleared to wrestle tonight.[/COLOR]" [B]DDD[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]I don't care if I'm medically cleared or not, I want him tonight.[/COLOR]" [B]Jillefski[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]If you wanna play Career Russian Roulette any other night then that's fine by me, but you're on my watch and you're my responsibility. Now if you really want him so bad I'll give you a tag team match tonight if you sign a consent form saying that I'm not responsible for your well being.[/COLOR]" [B]DDD[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Consider it signed.[/COLOR]" [B]Jillefski[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]You find yourself a partner and I'll tell Stranton to find himself a partner for Umaga.[/COLOR]" [B]DDD[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Thank you.[/COLOR]" Devine walks away, but stops at the doorway. [B]DDD[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]By the way, if you're so worried about injuries you should probably have Umaga sign one of those forms too. What I'm going to do to him tonight isn't going to be pretty.[/COLOR]" ([B][COLOR="Red"]C[/COLOR][/B]) -Wanda Fish is in the locker room on her computer. Giant Oak walks in and asks her what's going on. [B]Fish[/B]: "[COLOR="Purple"]We have a match soon.[/COLOR]" [B]Oak[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]What?!? Another match? Oh god, Ota's gonna kill me this time, I know it. Why'd I have to go and pawn off that shuriken?[/COLOR]" [B]Fish[/B]: "[COLOR="Purple"]Actually it's against The Demons of Rage.[/COLOR]" [B]Oak[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Are you trying to kill me?[/COLOR]" [B]Fish[/B]: "[COLOR="Purple"]Oh don't be so silly, we can beat them.[/COLOR]" [B]Oak[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]What are you doing anyways, shouldn't you be getting ready?[/COLOR]" [B]Fish[/B]: "[COLOR="Purple"]I'm playing this awesome MMORPG called Runescape.[/COLOR]" [B]Oak[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]So..., what do you do in that?[/COLOR]" [B]Fish[/B]: "[COLOR="Purple"]Hold on, my woodcutting skill is almost up to level 15.[/COLOR]" [B]Oak[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Woodcutting? That sounds kinda lame.[/COLOR]" [B]Fish[/B]: "[COLOR="Purple"]No it isn't. When it goes up I'll be able to cut bigger trees down.[/COLOR]" [B]Oak[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Yea, that's real umm.... interesting. Shouldn't you be getting ready though?[/COLOR]" [B]Fish[/B]: "[COLOR="Purple"]I am ready silly.[/COLOR]" [B]Oak[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Then let's just get this over with.[/COLOR]" [B]Fish[/B]: "[COLOR="Purple"]Hold on, let me just get my cooking skill up a little.[/COLOR]" [B]Oak[/B]: ([I]Under his breath[/I]) "[COLOR="Blue"]Finally, something useful.[/COLOR]" [B]Fish[/B]: "[COLOR="Purple"]What was that?[/COLOR]" [B]Oak[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Nothing, let's go.[/COLOR]" ([B][COLOR="Red"]D[/COLOR][/B]) [IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/Diary/DemonAnger.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/Diary/DemonSpite.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/Diary/WandaFish.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/Diary/GiantOak.jpg[/IMG] [U]-[B]Demons of Rage vs. Wanda Fish & Giant Oak[/B]-[/U] This was just one more of those vomit inducing good times that can only be found here in USPW. We have 2 talentless wrestlers, a past his prime wrestler, and 1 that can actually wrestle in this match. It ended up sucking. Who woulda thunk it? Anyways, Fish ended the match with a Dish of The Day on Spite. That's all I care to write. Hey, that rhymed. Winners: [B]Fish & Oak[/B] in 5:48 Rating [B]([COLOR="Red"]E+[/COLOR])[/B] -Robert Oxford and Jim Force, the newly renamed team of Veteran Mentality ([I]It says crazy without blatantly saying crazy[/I]), are interviewed about their upcoming tag team title shot against the Dudez!!!1!!!. [B]Force[/B]: "[B][COLOR="Blue"]THE DELECTABLE DELIGHTING DEFORMATION OF DISGRACE DISDAINED UPON THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS IS THE DOING OF THE DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDES!!!!!!!!! YOU SHALL PAY FOR THE PRECARIOUS POSITION OF POIGNANCY IN WHICH YOU HAVE PRECARIOUSLY PUT THE PRECIOUS TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIIIIIIIIIIPS!!!!!!!! THE FORCE WILL BE THE FORCE UPON WHICH YOU WILL BE FORCED TO ABSTAIN FROM AMALGAMATE THAT IS THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIOOOOOOOOONSHIPS!!!!! BUY OUR MERCHANDISE. FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORCE!!!!!!!![/COLOR][/B]" [B]Oxford[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]You say something Jim? Back in my day hippies was nothing but the protesting scumbags of the world. Always hugging trees and trying to save that environment thing. Back when I was a kid we would just throw our garbage out the windows and let the pigs eat it. Then that smell became too much and I went and joined the army. I shot plenty of protesters with roses and other flowers. Then they got me. I had a sunflower, a god dang sunflower lodged in my brain. I died immediately. Here I stand before you the Ghost of Christmas past. You will pay Scrooge, I swear.[/COLOR]" ([B][COLOR="Red"]D[/COLOR][/B]) ([I]If you can figure out the moral of this story check yourself into a mental asylum.[/I]) [IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/Diary/JimForce.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/Diary/RobertOxford.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/Diary/MainstreamHernandez_alt3.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/Diary/FrankiePerez.jpg[/IMG] [U]-[B][COLOR="RoyalBlue"]USPW World Tag Team Championship Match[/COLOR]- Veteran Mentality vs. The Dudez!!!1!!! (c)[/B]-[/U] Wow. I actually got a good match out of the tag team division. And it's only been a week. Nice. The Dudez used their speed to their advantage and it worked as Veteran Mentality couldn't catch them for a while. Oxford made a blind tag and nailed Perez in the back leading to VM gaining the upper hand here. They wore down Perez until the hot tag to Hernandez who came in like a house of fire and was able to pick up a win after an Apparition #14(SSP) on Force. Winners and still champions: [B]The Dudez!!!1!!![/B] in 5:40 Rating [B]([COLOR="Red"]C-[/COLOR])[/B] -Backstage Triple D approaches Muffin. [B]DDD[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Hey.[/COLOR]" [B]Muffin[/B]: "[COLOR="Purple"]Hi.[/COLOR]" [B]DDD[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]I just wanted to say that I'm sorry.[/COLOR]" [B]Muffin[/B]: "[COLOR="Purple"]What? What are you sorry about? If it wasn't for you my career might be over right now.[/COLOR]" [B]DDD[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]If it wasn't for me you wouldn't have had to be in that position to begin with.[/COLOR]" [B]Muffin[/B]: "[COLOR="Purple"]It's not your fault, I know Umaga attacked you.[/COLOR]" [B]DDD[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]I'm not sure it was Umaga actually.[/COLOR]" [B]Muffin[/B]: "[COLOR="Purple"]Then who?[/COLOR]" [B]DDD[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Don't know. But I just wanted to apologize. I've gotta go ask Freddie to be my partner now.[/COLOR]" [B]Muffin[/B]: "[COLOR="Purple"]No, I want to be your partner tonight.[/COLOR]" [B]DDD[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]What? No. You're hurt.[/COLOR]" [B]Muffin[/B]: "[COLOR="Purple"]And you aren't?[/COLOR]" ([I]DDD tries to think of something to say in retaliation, but can't.[/I]) "[COLOR="Purple"]I've got just as much of a reason to want to make Umaga hurt as you do. Whether you like it or not you and I are going to be a team tonight.[/COLOR]" [B]DDD[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]But what if you get hurt?[/COLOR]" Muffin hugs Devine and gives him a kiss on the cheek before telling him "[COLOR="Purple"]I'll be fine.[/COLOR]" and walking off leaving DDD with a concerned look on his face. ([B][COLOR="Red"]C+[/COLOR][/B]) -Hayes is backstage being interviewed about his upcoming match between Flash and Ota. [B]Hayes[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Last week should've been all about me. It should've been about my winning of the National Championship. Unfortunately for me a damn ninja attacked Flash and cost me my chance at the belt. The next time I see him he's as good as dead. As for Flash, you know that I'm younger, better, more charismatic, better looking, and overall more talented than you ever were. And I have my Japanese heritage flowing through my veins to boot. I have your number Steve and tonight I'm gonna cash it in and walk out of there with what rightfully belongs to me.[/COLOR]" No sooner than he finishes that sentence does a dagger fly by him and pierce the wall. it has a message attached to it. Hayes take the message and reads it aloud. [B]Hayes[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Don't look behind you.[/COLOR]" Hayes turns around and Ota pops out of the shadows. He holds up a piece of paper that says 'I told you not to look.' and a brawl breaks out between the 2. Security swarms over the area to break these 2 up. ([B][COLOR="Red"]C-[/COLOR][/B]) [IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/Diary/FumihiroOta.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/Diary/William-HayesHeadband.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/Diary/SteveFlash.jpg[/IMG] [U]-[B][COLOR="RoyalBlue"]USPW National Championship Match[/COLOR]- Fumihiro Ota vs. William Hayes vs. Steve Flash (c)[/B]-[/U] I put together 3 of my top talents (i.e. wrestlers that can wrestle) and this is the result. I should do this more often. Hayes went straight after Ota while Ota went right after Hayes. Flash, being the veteran he is, just let them wear each other out. About five minutes in Ota hit a Ninja Strike on Hayes. Flash broke up the pin and hit Ota with a snap suplex and covered Hayes. Hayes got his shoulder up at 2. Ota went after Flash now, which left Hayes with time to recover. Flash was able to get Ota down with a Flash Bang after a few minutes and made the cover. Hayes broke that up with an elbow. He hit Flash with a Slick Trick, but flash got his foot on the rope. Hayes picks Flash up and is ready to try it again. Flash drops to his knees and Ota hits Hayes with a Ninja Strike. Flash throws Ota out of the ring and makes the pinfall on Hayes. 1...2....3. Winner and still Champion: [B]Steve Flash[/B] in 10:36 Rating [B]([COLOR="Red"]C[/COLOR])[/B] -Peter Valentine, who seems to be on maternity leave from in-ring action ([I]Yes, that's what I'm going to use as an excuse to keep him at least 50 yards from the inside of a ring[/I]) is talking with Seduction. Peter's still wearing a muumuu btw. [B]Valentine[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]What do you think I should name it?[/COLOR]" [B]Seduction[/B]: "[COLOR="Purple"]Imaginary.[/COLOR]" [B]Valentine[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]No, I don't like that name. I was thinking that if it were a boy I would name him Telephone. And if it's a girl I'm gonna name her Coyote.[/COLOR]" [B]Seduction[/B]: "[COLOR="Purple"]You have to be kidding me.[/COLOR]" [B]Valentine[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Nope, those are perfect names for them.[/COLOR]" [B]Seduction[/B]: "[COLOR="Purple"]Why? Are they supposed to taunted and made fun of for their whole lives?[/COLOR]" [B]Valentine[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]No, I just like Telephones and Coyotes. I met a Coyote once.[/COLOR]" [B]Seduction[/B]: "[COLOR="Purple"]Yea, sure ya did.[/COLOR]" [B]Valentine[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]He told me to follow the green brick road.[/COLOR]" [B]Seduction[/B]: "[COLOR="Purple"]Do you know the name of the doctor you went to?[/COLOR]" [B]Valentine[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Yea.[/COLOR]" [B]Seduction[/B]: "[COLOR="Purple"]Well?[/COLOR]" [B]Valentine[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]His name is Dr. Doctor.[/COLOR]" [B]Seduction[/B]: "[COLOR="Purple"]I'm out of here.[/COLOR]" [B]Valentine[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Wait, I thought we were going to talk about bottle feeding vs. breast feeding too.[/COLOR]" ([B][COLOR="Red"]D-[/COLOR][/B]) -Triple D and Muffin make their entrances for tonights main event. Stranton and Umaga come out next. Stranton grabs a mic. [B]Stranton[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Well what do we have here? Two victims in the same night. How lucky are we Umaga? These two lovebirds think they can beat you, let alone beat you AND your partner tonight. Ladies and gentlemen, let me present to you Umagas partner for tonight, [B]ACID[/B]![/COLOR]" ([B][COLOR="Red"]C-[/COLOR][/B]) [IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/Diary/DarrylDevine.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/Diary/AliciaStrong-Muffin.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/Diary/Umaga2.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/Diary/Acid.jpg[/IMG] w/[IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/Diary/male2.jpg[/IMG] [U]-[B]Triple D & Muffin vs. Umaga & Acid w/ Stranton[/B]-[/U] Another good tag team match tonight. Woohoo. Acid and Umaga dominated most of this match. They mostly dominated it against DDD though as he refused to tag Muffin in. He took the beating and every time Muffin tried to get in the ring the ref had to stop her. Although this gave Stranton plenty of time to help his team out. DDD was able to fight back against Acid eventually using what he had left in him. He went for a clothesline, but so did Acid. Both men went down and the ref started the 10 count. Both DDD and Acid crawled to their corners. DDD didn't tag Muffin in, but instead tried to use the ropes to get back to his feet. Muffin tagged herself in and went after the now tagged in Umaga. She hit him with punch after punch, but couldn't get him down. Umaga threw a punch of his own, but Muffin ducked under it, ran off the ropes and hit him with a clothesline. Umaga beats his chest and dares her to do it again. She does, and Umaga is still doesn't feel it. Muffin tries once more, but Umaga tries a clothesline of his own. Muffin ducks under it and when he turns around he gets caught by a missile dropkick from the top by DDD. Umaga goes down. Muffin goes for the pin, but only gets a 1. Umaga tags Acid in. Muffin and Acid go at it in what turns into a seesaw of a match with neither side getting a clear advantage. Acid hits an Acidity Test and goes for the pin. DDD breaks it up, but he doesn't leave it at that. He hits Acid with a DDT and drags Muffin over to their corner. He tags in and starts throwing rights knocking down whatever moved. DDD is eventually able to hit Acid with a Devine Dream Drop. He gets the pin, Muffin holds Umaga off. 1....2.....3. Winners: [B]DDD & Muffin[/B] in 12:31 Rating [B]([COLOR="Red"]C[/COLOR])[/B] -DDD and Muffin celebrate their victory as they're jumped by Acid and Umaga who seem to be sore losers. Stranton conducts traffic and calls Bruce the Giant and Peter Valentine down to the ring. Bruce gets in and helps Acid and Umaga beat down DDD & Muffin. Valentine tells Stranton he shouldn't get in there because he might hurt the baby. Stranton smacks him upside the head and Valentine storms to the back. In the ring though DDD and Muffin are being torn apart by Umaga, Acid and Bruce the Giant. DDD & Muffin certainly don't seem like they just won a match. ([B][COLOR="Red"]C[/COLOR][/B]) [U]Final Rating[/U] [B](C-)[/B] -I think it should've been a C, but what do I know. I guess the Adam Ryalnd Statistical Evaluation Honorable Online Library Explorer System ([I]ARSEHOLES[/I]) thought differently. -And yes, Wanda Fish is going to play a nerdy cheerleader. How's that going to work? I don't know. I don't usually put much thought into these things in case you haven't noticed. I like to let things just flow. Kinda like a sewage main. [QUOTE][U]Post Show Recap: Brought to you by Giant Oak Merchandise, are we gonna have to choke a bum?[/U]: [I]-Fish & Oak defeated The Demons Of Rage (E+) -The Dudez!!!1!!! defeated Veteran Mentality to retain the USPW World Tag Team titles (C-) -Steve Flash defeated William Hayes and Fumihiro Ota to retain the USPW National title (C) -Triple D and Muffin defeated Umaga and Acid (C)[/I][/QUOTE]

[J Silver]

[QUOTE][B]OOC[/B]: Busy today, new shows up tomorrow. Until then here's a news post.[/QUOTE] [B]USPW[/B]: Where Jim Force has finally gone off the deep end. Well, the deeper end. Don't know what I'm talking about? Force gave an interview with 2 midgets that I haven't beaten up, I don't have a problem, in Actarus' MOSC diary, found [URL="http://www.greydogsoftware.com/forum/showthread.php?t=21847&page=4"]here[/URL]. Now, with the cheap plug out of the way and the desire to add midichlorians to Forces next promo, on with the... news? ------ I got the news that Sam wanted to meet me in his office after the show. I figured he'd found out who actually bought the Giant Oak T-Shirt. And why there was a dead bum at that arena. I walked into his office and everyone looked grim. As though someone were dead. Sam was there as were The Demons, Warlord Agony, Micky Starr, Peter Valentine and Bruce the Giant. "[COLOR="Blue"]What's going on here?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]It's a sad day for us brother.[/COLOR]" Sam said very sovereignly "[COLOR="Blue"]Is Giant Redwood dead? Did he die in his sleep?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]No.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Gun shot?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]No.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]Insurance fraud gone wrong?[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]No you idiot.[/COLOR]" Sam yelled when suddenly Redwood walks into the room. There goes my dream. "[COLOR="Green"]Redwood is just fine. It's Demon Anger.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]He's not dead. He's sitting right there.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Green"]This isn't about a death.[/COLOR]" Anger stands up and says "[COLOR="Red"]I'm retiring.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]What? You can't retire, you're the good Demon. Why can't you retire Spite?[/COLOR]" Spite stands up now, "[COLOR="Purple"]Shut up before I rip your tongue out and stuff it down your throat. This has been a tough decision for him, the least you could do is be respectful.[/COLOR]" "[COLOR="Blue"]I'm respectful, I just wish it was you that was retiring instead, that's all.[/COLOR]" Spite gets in my face and is probably about to vocally rape me when Anger pulls him back. "[COLOR="Red"]It's alright Spite, you can sit down now. I want to thank everyone here. All of you in this room have been with me for a long while. You're all true friends to me and I thank you for that, for sticking with me through all of this. The decision for me to retire has been a tough one. I'd love to be able to keep wrestling, but I'm physically unable to anymore. My body has become a broken down shell of its former self. I wake up in the morning in a heap of pain. In fact if I were to wake up and feel fine I would punch myself in the gut just to make sure I can still feel. I went to the doctors the other day, and he was shocked that I could still step into the ring, much less actually wrestle. He advised that I consider retirement. I thought about it, I talked with my wife about it and I decided that it would be best if I were to retire now. Thank you to all of you. Thank you to Spite for being my best friend for the last 20 years in a business where real friends are hard to come by. Thank you to Sam for giving me the last run that I wanted. Thank you to the rest of you, you've all been good to me.[/COLOR]" Anger wraps up his speech and alot of the guys have a few tears rolling down their cheeks. Anger talks a bit with everyone before we all call it a night. I'm gonna kinda miss the big oaf.... ---- -Dark Angel out for over a year after suffering a major concussion. I know it may sound bad, but him getting injured my be a sign that working 8 times a week isn't healthy. [IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/DAinjuryre.jpg[/IMG] I just find that funny. -Demon Anger announces his retirement. Kinda like I already said. -Giant Oak has been sent a contract offer from NYCW. Wait, they actually want him? No wonder that place is slowly and painfully dying. -In related news, Bailey left NYCW leaving the booking position available. I guess he realizes that too. -Mick Muscles can kiss my ass. He's only worth $650 and not a dime more. He wants over $800. What do people see in this kid anyways? -My World Champion has signed on for a tour of INSPIRE. And sadly he'd take them over the place he has gold. Damn thick headed Samoans. -Davis Wayne Newton has been signed to USPW where he'll promptly do next to nothing. -Corporal Doom (Remember him?) becomes NYCWs new head booker. Another old man on the roster. Good for them. -USPW has signed with National Pride to air USPW Family Night every Friday Night at 11PM. At least it's not midnight. ------- [QUOTE][U]Match listing for USPW All-American Wrestling[/U]: -Robert Oxford vs. Mainstream Hernandez -Umaga vs. Freddie Datsun -Triple D vs. Acid[/QUOTE] All predictions, comments, feedback, suggestion, etc. welcome. Also, just trying this out: [CODE]

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[Trackersan]

"He's not dead, he's sitting right there." That's just pure comedy gold. Enjoying the crazy wackiness as always, but please, do 'something' with Davis Wayne Newton...even if it's just for yet another angle in the muffin saga.

[eayragt]

[QUOTE=J Silver;211101]"What? You can't retire, you're the good Demon. Why can't you retire Spite?"[/QUOTE] Personally that one was my favourite line. But there are so many to chose from!

[MrOnu]

wow... you managed to fit a computer game in your show! Now you need to have Oxford and Force ramble about how back in the days, they only had their imagination to entertain theirselves. ;) The maternity leave from in-ring action excuse works for me ! At least INSPIRE only do a single show each week, you should be able to play around that. Giant Redwood must be a proud dad, his son is now working for two companies, two !

[Nightshadeex]

I've been meaning to read this for ages, but finally got around to it today. You and I have a very similar view on USPW. Especially Jim Force. I'm a fan.

[J Silver]

[QUOTE=Trackersan;211125]please, do 'something' with Davis Wayne Newton...even if it's just for yet another angle in the muffin saga.[/QUOTE] Nothing is something. Sorta. [QUOTE=MrOnu;211196]wow... you managed to fit a computer game in your show! Now you need to have Oxford and Force ramble about how back in the days, they only had their imagination to entertain theirselves. ;)[/QUOTE] ewww... [QUOTE]The maternity leave from in-ring action excuse works for me ![/QUOTE] Not sure if that's you being gullible or my amazingly convincing explanations. [QUOTE]At least INSPIRE only do a single show each week, you should be able to play around that. Giant Redwood must be a proud dad, his son is now working for two companies, two ![/QUOTE] Yea, but I'm already booking around PGHW, NOTBPW, DAVE, CGC, TCW, and now INSPIRE. And that's nothing, I've seen him work in three. Three ~! [QUOTE=Nightshadeex;211208]I've been meaning to read this for ages, but finally got around to it today. You and I have a very similar view on USPW. Especially Jim Force. I'm a fan.[/QUOTE] Always nice to have another reader. -------- [B]USPW[/B]: Where my legion of followers grows by the day. Muahahahaha.... -------- [CENTER][IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/USPWAAW-1.jpg[/IMG] [B]USPW All American Wrestling[/B] Saturday, Week 1, May 2007 (Airs Wednesday) Held at The Arkansas Coliseum Att.2,000 (Sold Out) [U]Dark Matches[/U][/CENTER] -Steve Flash defeated Giant Oak and Bulldozer Brandon Smith in 7:57 when Steve Flash defeated Giant Oak by pinfall with a Flash Bang. [B](D+)[/B] -William Hayes defeated Wanda Fish in 8:12 by pinfall with a Slick Trick. [B](C-)[/B] [CENTER][U]Main Show[/U][/CENTER] -The show starts off backstage in Danny Jillefskis office when Triple D walks in. [B]DDD[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]I want my match with Umaga tonight.[/COLOR]" [B]Jillefski[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]No.[/COLOR]" [B]DDD[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]What do you mean no? You said that once I'm medically cleared you'd give it to me.[/COLOR]" [B]Jillefski[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]I lie alot Mr. Devine. I will give you your title shot in the future, but when I say so.[/COLOR]" [B]DDD[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]So what did you have in mind then?[/COLOR]" [B]Jillefski[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]I'm sure you've heard about USPW Family Night debuting in a little under a month.[/COLOR]" [B]DDD[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Yea, I heard about that.[/COLOR]" [B]Jillefski[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]That's when you get your title shot.[/COLOR]" [B]DDD[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]I'm not waiting a month to get my hands around Umagas neck.[/COLOR]" [B]Jillefski[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]Wait a month or be fired. It's as simple as that.[/COLOR]" [B]DDD[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Fine, but I will make Umaga pay before then.[/COLOR]" DDD begins to walk out of the office when Jillefski calls out to him. "[COLOR="Green"]Wait. Don't you want to know who your opponent is tonight?[/COLOR]" [B]DDD[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Who?[/COLOR]" [B]Jillefski[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]Acid. And if you don't win I may have to reconsider your title shot.[/COLOR]" Devine walks out of the office and makes sure to slam the door on his way out. ([B][COLOR="Red"]C[/COLOR][/B]) -In another backstage area we see Bruce the Giant, Peter Valentine and Jacob Stranton talking. [B]Stranton[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]Read my lips. You're. Not. Pregnant.[/COLOR]" [B]Valentine[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]But my doctor told me I am.[/COLOR]" [B]Stranton[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]You're doctors a friggin' quack.[/COLOR]" [B]BTG[/B]: "[COLOR="Purple"]rhyu, rhwe ius.[/COLOR]" [B]Valentine[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]But he has a medical license.[/COLOR]" [B]Stranton[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]Did you look on the back of it? I'm sure you would find the kids menu there.[/COLOR]" [B]Valentine[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]I like the kids menu.[/COLOR]" [B]Stranton[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]That's not my point.[/COLOR]" [B]BTG[/B]: "[COLOR="Purple"]Rhye, rwats noiut is pint.[/COLOR]" [B]Stranton[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]Stay out of this big guy, you're useless when it comes to speech.[/COLOR]" [B]Valentine[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Do you think I can get a happy meal?[/COLOR]" [B]Stranton[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]I think you could get some brain surgery, but I'm not sure there is a cure for stupid.[/COLOR]" [B]Valentine[/B] ([I]now starting to tear up[/I]): "[COLOR="Blue"]I'm not stupid.[/COLOR]" [B]Stranton[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]Yes you are. You're a damn moron.[/COLOR]" [B]Valentine[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]No I'm not![/COLOR]" Valentine, now crying runs into the bathroom and locks himself inside. Stranton goes up to it and bangs on the door. "[COLOR="Green"]Get out of there Peter![/COLOR]" [B]Valentine[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]No. I'm not going to come out until you apologize for calling me stupid.[/COLOR]" [B]Stranton[/B]: ([I]To Bruce[/I]) "[COLOR="Green"]This coming from a man who thinks he's pregnant?[/COLOR]" [B]BTG[/B]: "[COLOR="Purple"]Ryea. I rohw.[/COLOR]" [B]Valentine[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]I heard that![/COLOR]" [B]Stranton[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]Well, I'm not apologizing, so what do we do now?[/COLOR]" [B]BTG[/B]: "[COLOR="Purple"]Rhyea I nohw, buiht I hawve to drohp a log.[/COLOR]" ([B][COLOR="Red"]C-[/COLOR][/B]) Veteran Mentality are interviewed about Oxfords match with Hernandez next. [B]Oxford[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Back in my day guys with blonde hair were known as queers. I didn't touch queers, but the city got full of them all coming over on ships and stuff, and cuban rafts. I joined the army to get away from them. I shot me plenty of queers that year. Then one got me. Pistol whipped me right in the back of the head. I lost my short term memory and can't remember a damn thing. Here I stand before you a man on a mission. I will find and kill John G. for killing my wife and taking my memory away.[/COLOR]" ([B][COLOR="Red"]D[/COLOR][/B]) ([I]Let's see how many people get that reference.[/I]) [IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/Diary/MainstreamHernandez_alt3.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/Diary/RobertOxford.jpg[/IMG] [U]-[B]Mainstream Hernandez vs. Robert Oxford[/B]-[/U] Old vs. Young. Talented vs. talented, yea, in USPW. Tag team master vs..... tag team dude? Anyways, onto the match. It was a pretty even contest to be honest. Oxford worked over the leg of Hernandez to slow him down while Hernandez prepares to make the big babyface comeback. He does, and goes up top for the Apparition #14, but can't balance with his bad leg. Oxford takes advantage and hits Hernandez with a belly-to-belly off the top rope. He covers and gets the 3. Winner: [B]Robert Oxford[/B] in 9:44 Rating [B]([COLOR="Red"]D[/COLOR])[/B] -We see DDD talking to Muffin backstage. They look to be having a fun time talking about something or other. The camera pans back to reveal Seduction, DDD's girlfriend walking down the hall around the corner. She begins listening and gets upset. She stomps around the corner and goes up to Devine. [B]Seduction[/B]: "[COLOR="Purple"]You've got a match to get ready for. What the hell are you doing?[/COLOR]" [B]DDD[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Oh, hey Seduction. We were just talking.[/COLOR]" [B]Seduction[/B]: "[COLOR="Purple"]Yea, I'm sure. Now get your ass back to the locker room and get ready.[/COLOR]" She drags Devine by the ear and he walks off to his locker room. Seduction isn't done as she has something to say to Muffin. "[COLOR="Purple"]Stay away from him. If I see you near him again, there will be hell to pay. Tramp.[/COLOR]" ([B][COLOR="Red"]C+[/COLOR][/B]) -Steve Flash is in his locker room reading some comics, no that isn't a typo, when the lights go out. In the background you can hear the door opening and somebody climbing into the ventilation duct. The lights go back on and a shuriken rains down from the vent. Out pops Fumihiro Ota. Before anything can happen Flash asks "[COLOR="Blue"]Aren't ninjas supposed to be stealthy? I mean, I could hear you coming from a mile away.[/COLOR]" A brawl erupts between the champion and a challenger. They beat the crap out of each other before a security officer steps between the 2. He then cracks Ota in the head with a night stick knocking him out in the process. He takes off his hat to reveal William Hayes. Hayes jumps Flash, taking him down and raining in rights to the head. ([B][COLOR="Red"]D[/COLOR][/B]) [IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/Diary/FreddieDatsun.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/Diary/Umaga2.jpg[/IMG] w/[IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/Diary/male2.jpg[/IMG] [U]-[B][COLOR="RoyalBlue"]USPW World Championship Match[/COLOR]- Freddie Datsun vs. Umaga (c) w/Stranton[/B]-[/U] Another dominant performance from Umaga and another valiant effort from Datsun. I can always rely on Datsun to get a good match out of anyone. During the match Umaga completely destroyed Datsun before hitting him with a Savage Charge. Umaga made the cover. But he only got 2. Umaga tried the cover again, but Datsun got a shoulder up at 2 again. Datsun came back to life after that and rocked Umaga with right after right and then some lefts for good measure. He takes Umaga off his feet with a 3-point stance. Umaga gets up, but is slammed down. Umaga is up once more. Datsun with a kick to the gut. He gets Umaga up in a Patriot Press, he hits it. 1..2, Umaga kicks out. Datsun gets up and nails Umaga with a right, but Umaga answers with one of his own taking Datsun down. Umaga dominates from here on out. He hits a Savage Charge. Pinfall. 1....2....3. Winner and still Champion: [B]Umaga[/B] in 9:44 Rating [B]([COLOR="Red"]C+[/COLOR])[/B] -Umaga celebrates, Datsun is hurt and Maxmillion Productions make their way out to the ring. Rex and Velasquez beat up the already beaten Datsun. Velasquez puts the exclamation point on this beatdown as he hits Datsun with Street Cutter. ([B][COLOR="Red"]D+[/COLOR][/B]) -DDD hypes up his match with Acid. [B]DDD[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Tonight I'll go in there against a mysterious and very dangerous man. Acid is one of DAVEs top stars for a reason, but I'm top of the heap here in USPW because I'm the best around. I'll prove that tonight against Acid and I'll prove that on April 5th when I go 1-on-1 against Umaga for the first time. When I walk out of there with the World Championship around my waist that's exactly what it'll signify, that I'm the best around. I'm not afraid of you Umaga, you should be afraid of me.[/COLOR]" ([B][COLOR="Red"]B-[/COLOR][/B]) [IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/Diary/Acid.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/Diary/DarrylDevine.jpg[/IMG] [U]-[B][COLOR="RoyalBlue"]Interpromotional Match[/COLOR]- Acid vs. Triple D[/B]-[/U] Acid and Devine turned out to be pretty evenly matched. The match went back and forth as neither competitor could keep the other down for long. Acid hit Devine with quick and powerful kicks while Devine worked over Acid with a plethora of suplexes and other moves. In the end Acid was able to slip out of the Devine Dream Drop. He turned Devine around and hit a Mafia kick on him. Acid goes up top for the Acid Rain Bomb. He comes down. Onto the mat. Devine gets back to his feet and stalks Acid waiting for him to get up. He hits a 3D on him. He makes the cover. 1....2....3. Winner: [B]Triple D[/B] in 16:48 Rating [B]([COLOR="Red"]B[/COLOR])[/B] ([I]!!![/I]) -Devine celebrates what was undoubtedly a tough victory for him when Umaga comes out onto the entrance ramp. DDD stands himself up against the ropes and stares back at Umaga. The 2 don't take their eyes off each other, and neither moves. The staredown continues as AAW goes off the air. ([B][COLOR="Red"]C+[/COLOR][/B]) [U]Final Rating[/U] [B](C+)[/B] -Best show so far. -Best match so far. -Best booker Evaaaaar! Well maybe I'm tooting my own horn a little soon. Oh well. Best. Booker. Ever. [QUOTE][U]Post show Recap bought to you by: Jim Force Merchandise. BUY IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!!![/U]: [I]-Robert Oxford defeated Mainstream Hernandez (D) -Umaga defeated Freddie Datsun to retain the USPW World title (C+) -Triple D defeated Acid (B)[/I][/QUOTE]

[Nightshadeex]

[QUOTE]I will find and kill John G. for killing my wife and taking my memory away[/QUOTE] Memento.

[J Silver]

[QUOTE=Nightshadeex;211557]Memento.[/QUOTE] Bingo.

[Astil]

and now for the award of best booker ever...

[MrOnu]

Giant Oak totally dragged these two lazy bums in the D- area ! Or is it the other way around ? ;)

[J Silver]

[QUOTE=MrOnu;211688]Giant Oak totally dragged these two lazy bums in the D- area ! Or is it the other way around ? ;)[/QUOTE] Oak definitely drags everything somewhere. I'd just rather not say where. [QUOTE=Astil;211674]and now for the award of best booker ever...[/QUOTE] *[I]Crosses fingers[/I]* Please don't let it be the monkey, please don't let it be the monkey, please don't let it be the monkey.......

[Astil]

[QUOTE=J Silver;211698] *[I]Crosses fingers[/I]* Please don't let it be the monkey, please don't let it be the monkey, please don't let it be the monkey.......[/QUOTE] The Plumber!

[theoutlaw321]

Just read all the way thru. Funny stuff. Chalk up another reader.

[J Silver]

[QUOTE=Astil;212007]The Plumber![/QUOTE] Well, at least it wasn't that damn leprechaun. ----- [B]USPW[/B]: The Saturday Morning Cartoons of the wrestling world. ----- [U]Pre-Show News[/U]: -Giant Oak has officially signed with NYCW. He is now the youngest member of their roster. -In news that could very well be the beginning of the end for DAVE, Eric Tyler was injured at the last DAVE Grappling in a match with Big Cat Brandon. Tyler will be out of action for a little over 13 Months basically meaning that when he comes back it'll be for his last run. To understand how big of a loss for DAVE this is you have to realize Tyler was the only member of their roster that could consistently pull out B- matches, holds win over all of DAVEs top stars and is the most over wrestler on their roster. Here's hoping that SWF and TCW don't scoop up too many of their top names when DAVE goes out of business. -Dallas McWade returned from an injury. Yea, I don't care either. ----- [CENTER][IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/USPWAAW-1.jpg[/IMG] [B]USPW All American Wrestling[/B] Saturday, Week 2, May 2007 Held at The North Carolina Biker Museum Att.2,000 (Sold Out) [U]Dark Matches[/U][/CENTER] -Fish & Oak defeated The Hotshots (Davis Wayne Newton & Cameron Vessey) in 7:37 when Wanda Fish defeated Davey Wayne by pinfall with a Blonde Ambition. [B](D-)[/B] [CENTER][U]Main Show[/U][/CENTER] -The show starts off with Bruce the Giant, Peter Valentine, Umaga and Jacob Stranton in their locker room. Stranton is trying to cut a promo on his, Umagas and Bruces upcoming match with DDD and Muffin. [B]Stranton[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]Tonight, my monsters will destroy both Devine and Muffin. Umaga will tear them to shreds, rip them apart, show the two lovebirds the meaning of the word pain. Umaga eats Muffins for breakfast. And Devine, do you really think you have a chance of stopping an unstoppable Samoan Savage? Not once, but twice? At the debut of USPW Family Night Umaga will retain the title and send you back to Canada where you belong. Devine, you silly bastard...[/COLOR]" [B]Valentine[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Trix are for kids![/COLOR]" Everyone in the room shoots an angry glance towards Valentine. [B]Valentine[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Well they are.[/COLOR]" [B]Stranton[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]Shut up Peter.[/COLOR]" [B]Valentine[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]I'm still not talking to you.[/COLOR]" [B]Stranton[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]Then who are you going to talk to?[/COLOR]" [B]Valentine[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]My good friend Bruce the Giant, of course. Right Bruce?[/COLOR]" [B]BTG[/B]: "[COLOR="Red"]Rym nohrt ure frehnd, nar ghit ure ond ohf mi ohrm.[/COLOR]" [B]Valentine[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Ok, umm.... I'll just talk to my good friend Umaga.[/COLOR]" [B]Umaga[/B]: "[COLOR="Purple"]Ooga booga[/COLOR] ([I]And some more of a Samoan language I can't possibly comprehend[/I])." [B]Valentine[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Ok, maybe not.[/COLOR]" [B]Stranton[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]Neither of them speaks English you idiot.[/COLOR]" [B]Valentine[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]I'm not an idiot, I'm a pregnant man.[/COLOR]" [B]Stanton[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]You do realize just how much that statement solidifies my point, don't you?[/COLOR]" [B]Valentine[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Sorry, what were you saying? I just felt my baby kicking.[/COLOR]" [B]Stranton[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]Oh, forget this. Now where was I?[/COLOR]" [B]Camera Man[/B]: "Sorry Mr. Stranton, but you're out of time." [B]Stranton[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]Oh, for fu...[/COLOR]" ([B][COLOR="Red"]C[/COLOR][/B]) -Psycho babble time. [B]Force[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"][B]DUUUUUUUUUUUDEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU DISASTEROUS DEFORMATIONAL DESIGN OF DELINQUENCYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!! YOU WILL FALL TO THE FORCE OF THE FORCE FOR THE FORCE IS A FORCE UPON WHICH I WILL FORCE YOUR LOSS. BUY MY MERCHANDISE. FRANKIE PEREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ!!!!!!! TONIGHT YOU SHALL FEEL THE FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORCE!!!!! RARGHHH!!!![/B][/COLOR]" ([B][COLOR="Red"]D[/COLOR][/B]) [IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/Diary/JimForce.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/Diary/FrankiePerez.jpg[/IMG] [U]-[B]Jim Force vs. Frankie Perez[/B]-[/U] Forces power and paint style of wrestling didn't stand much chance against Perez's strong style. Perez finished off Force with a Perfect Parity to pick up the win. Winner: [B]Frankie Perez[/B] in 7:57 Rating [B]([COLOR="Red"]D+[/COLOR])[/B] -A graphic pops up announcing that at the debut of Family Night on June 5th The Dudez!!!1!!! will defend their tag team Championships against Veteran Mentality. ([B][COLOR="Red"]D+[/COLOR][/B]) -Steve Flash is in his locker room sitting back reading comics like last week. William Hayes walks into the room. [B]Hayes[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]I just wanted to tell you face to face that after I beat Ota tonight I'm coming after that National title you have.[/COLOR]" [B]Flash[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]That all came in here to say to me?[/COLOR]" [B]Hayes[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]I also wanted to tell you to cherish that belt while you can, because on June 5th you're going to have to shine that belt up real nice, say your farewells and hand it over to me.[/COLOR]" [B]Flash[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Well William, I'm not planning on losing this belt. Especially not to you.[/COLOR]" [B]Hayes[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]Nobody ever plans on losing their championships Steve, they just do.[/COLOR]" The conversation is interrupted as both Hayes and Flash turn their attention to the ventilation ducts where a noise is coming from. A shuriken flies out of it. "[COLOR="Green"]Great, just what we need.[/COLOR]" says Hayes sarcastically. Out of the shadows pops Fumihiro Ota. [B]Hayes[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]What do you want? I'm planning on humiliating you later on tonight already, isn't that enough for you?[/COLOR]" Ota hands a note to Hayes. Hayes takes it cautiously, keeping his eyes on Ota even as he reads. [B]Hayes[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]You can talk ninja boy, you know that? Lets see here, there's nothing on this thing.[/COLOR]" Hayes lowers the note down only to get misted by Ota who then disappears. [B]Flash[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Looks like he wasn't in a talking mood.[/COLOR]" ([B][COLOR="Red"]D+[/COLOR][/B]) [IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/Diary/RudyVelasquez.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/Diary/FreddieDatsun.jpg[/IMG] [U]-[B]Rudy Velasquez vs. Freddie Datsun[/B]-[/U] Another good match out of these two as their great chemistry helped them out. Datsun was in control of this match for a good portion of it, but Velasquez was able to cheat momentum his way during the match as well. Velasquez went for a Street Cutter only to have Datsun shove him off. Velasquez turns around for a kick to the gut and a Patriot Press. Before the ref can make it to 3, he's pulled out by Maxmillion. Rex hops in the ring and attacks Datsun. The ref sees it and calls for the bell. Winner by DQ: [B]Freddie Datsun[/B] in 8:17 Rating[B] ([COLOR="Red"]C[/COLOR])[/B] -Velasquez gets to his feet and Maxmillion gets into the ring to join Rex. Rex, Maxmillion and Velasquez continue their attack on Datsun leaving him a bloody mess in the middle of the ring. ([B][COLOR="Red"]D[/COLOR][/B]) [IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/Diary/FumihiroOta.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/Diary/William-HayesHeadband.jpg[/IMG] [U]-[B]Fumihiro Ota vs. William Hayes[/B]-[/U] And this is just one more reason I shouldn't have anymore heel/heel matches. These two went after each other hard, unfortunately the crowd had no idea who to cheer for. In fact there was a boring chant going, until the match really picked up that is. a back and forth match saw the momentum switch between Hayes and Ota constantly. This hard hitting encounter ended as Ota misses the Ninja Strike. Hayes picks him up and hits the Slick Trick. He makes the cover and 3 seconds later it's over. Winner: [B]William Hayes[/B] in 13:10 Rating [B]([COLOR="Red"]D+[/COLOR])[/B] -Triple D and Seduction are in their locker room talking, sort of. [B]DDD[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Look, we were just talking.[/COLOR]" [B]Seduction[/B]: "[COLOR="Purple"]I don't want you to be anywhere near her again.[/COLOR]" [B]DDD[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Isn't that a bit harsh?[/COLOR]" [B]Seduction[/B]: "[COLOR="Purple"]Not if you love me.[/COLOR]" [B]DDD[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Of course I love you. You know I do, or at least you should.[/COLOR]" [B]Seduction[/B]: "[COLOR="Purple"]I know you do, but I don't like to take chances.[/COLOR]" [B]DDD[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]You know I have a match with her later.[/COLOR]" [B]Seduction[/B]: "[COLOR="Purple"]And if I even see you look at her any way I don't like you'll be sleeping on the couch tonight.[/COLOR]" [B]DDD[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Let's be rational here.[/COLOR]" [B]Seduction[/B]: "[COLOR="Purple"]I see the way you look at her and if you so much as think of her like that I won't think twice about making your life a living hell.[/COLOR]" [B]DDD[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]You actually think I'm going to cheat on you, don't you?[/COLOR]" [B]Seduction[/B]: "[COLOR="Purple"]The thought's crossed my mind.[/COLOR]" [B]DDD[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Seduction, you're the only woman for me. Muffin is just a friend.[/COLOR]" [B]Seduction[/B]: "[COLOR="Purple"]Like I said, if you're lying to me I WILL make your life a living hell.[/COLOR]" [B]DDD[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]There's nothing to worry about. You're the only woman I love.[/COLOR]" Outside the locker room Muffin has her hand on the door handle, but after hearing that conversation rethinks it and walks away. ([B][COLOR="Red"]D+[/COLOR][/B]) [IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/Diary/DarrylDevine.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/Diary/AliciaStrong-Muffin.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/Diary/BrucetheGiant.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/Diary/Umaga2.jpg[/IMG] w/[IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/Diary/male2.jpg[/IMG] [U]-[B]Triple D & Muffin vs. Bruce the Giant & Umaga w/ Stranton[/B]-[/U] Bruce the Giant and Triple D started this match off. Bruce used his size and power to dominate Devine, who still refused to tag Muffin into the match. Bruce toyed with Devine. Bruce should've learned from his last match with DDD because Devine caught his second wind and started fighting back. He fired off a series of rights that rocked the giant. Devine springs off the ropes, Bruces tries to catch him with a clothesline, but Devine catches Bruce in the knees with a dropkick. Bruce hobbles around trying to catch Devine, but gets chop blocked for his efforts. Umaga storms into the ring and goes for DDD, but gets a flying forearm from Muffin. DDD goes back to work on Bruce wearing down the knee. DDD takes his eyes off Bruce as he sees Umaga beating on Muffin on the outside. Bruce takes advantage and grabs Devine by the throat. Bruce gets to his feet, but DDD goes down from a chokeslam. Bruce makes the cover. 1....2..., rope break. Bruce struggles to make it back to his feet. He goes to pick up Devine, but gets small packaged. The ref makes the count, 1.... 2..... 3. Winners: [B]Triple D & Muffin[/B] in 10:11 Rating [B]([COLOR="Red"]C-[/COLOR])[/B] -DDD and Muffin celebrate their huge win. Umaga is livid while Bruce tries to apologize to him. Umaga attacks both DDD and Muffin from behind. He lays Muffin out with a spear while he takes DDD out with a sit-out powerbomb. Bruce celebrates with Umaga, only to get attacked by him as well. Umaga lays him out with a Savage Charge before heading to the back with Stranton, who seems to be keeping his distance from the Samoan Savage. ([B][COLOR="Red"]C+[/COLOR][/B]) [U]Final Rating[/U] [B](D+)[/B] -Yea, it was a step backwards, but it was a necessary step. -Holy crap on a stick. Devines popularity over the US shot up to a B after last night, except Puerto Rico, of course. Strange thing is Bruce only had a B- across America going into that match. [QUOTE] [U]Post Show Recap brought to you by: Muffins. Everyone loves 'em[/U]: [I]-Frankie Perez defeated Jim Force (D+) -Freddie Datsun defeated Rudy Velasquez by DQ (C) -William Hayes defeated Fumihiro Ota (D+) -Triple D and Muffin defeated Bruce The Giant and Umaga (C-)[/I][/QUOTE]

[Actarus]

Oh my God...I never noticed the muffin on Alicia's mask before! Did you do that, or one of the render guys do that? Another hilarious read, as always. I love what you've done with Super Ninja Ota as well. Latah.

[MrOnu]

I didnt think Jim Force could get in a D- single match, kudos to Perez. Great main event, it really picture Umaga as a monster threat even for someone like Bruce.

[J Silver]

[QUOTE=Actarus;212681]Oh my God...I never noticed the muffin on Alicia's mask before! Did you do that, or one of the render guys do that? Another hilarious read, as always. I love what you've done with Super Ninja Ota as well. Latah.[/QUOTE] I am one of the Render guys, remember? And one of the logo guys, and one of the banner guys, and.... well, you get the point. And yes, I did that. ------- [B]USPW[/B]: The only place to get your daily fill of Muffins, Samoans, and crazy old men. ------ [CENTER][IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/USPWAAW-1.jpg[/IMG] [B]USPW All American Wrestling[/B] Saturday, Week 3, May 2007 (Airs Wednesday) Held at The Den Att. 2,000 (Sold Out) [U] Dark Matches[/U][/CENTER] -Warlord Agony defeated Zeus Maxmillion, Insane Machine and Mean Jean Cattley in 6:36 when Warlord Agony defeated Zeus Maxmillion by pinfall with a Hostile Takeover. [B](D)[/B] -Bulldozer Brandon Smith and Trent Shaffer defeated The Hotshots in 7:40 when Trent Shaffer defeated Cameron Vessey by pinfall with a Heart Burn. [B](E)[/B] [CENTER][U]Main Show[/U][/CENTER] -The show starts off in Danny Jillefskis office where USPW National Champion Steve Flash, and challenger William Hayes are standing. [B]Jillefski[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Hello gentlemen. It's become apparent over the weeks that you two want to get your hands on each other in the middle of the ring. Tonight I feel generous, which is why I'm going to give you two a match against each other. But, it's not going to be a title match, it's not even going to be a singles match. It's going to be a tag team match and I'm going to let you pick your own partners for it. Choose wisely because the winner of tonights match will get to decide what type of match you have at the debut of Family Night.[/COLOR]" ([B][COLOR="Red"]D+[/COLOR][/B]) -Jim Force makes his entrance and stomps down to the ring as he always does. He awaits his opponent for tonight, Mainstream Hernandez, in the ring when music hits the speakers. It's not Hernandez's music though, it's Demon Angers. Anger makes his way down to the ring and grabs a mic. [B]Anger[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]I know almost everyone out here probably hates me, but that really doesn't matter to me. As some of you will have already heard I'm planning on retiring soon. For those who didn't know, well now you do. I got around to thinking though, how do I want to go out? Do I want to just quietly sink into retirement? Do I want to give a speech and let that be all? Do I want to have one last match against some nobody? Or do I want to go out on top? Well the answer is that I'm going to retire as a 9 time Tag Team Champion and win the one belt that's been eluding me for the last 3 years. Force, I know you and Oxford have a title shot coming up and I'm not asking you to give it up, I'm warning you that I'm going to take it away.[/COLOR]" Anger hits Force with a big boot that knocks him loopy. Anger tells the ref to ring the bell and we have a match. ([B][COLOR="Red"]D[/COLOR][/B]) [IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/Diary/DemonAnger.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/Diary/JimForce.jpg[/IMG] [U]-[B]Demon Anger vs. Jim Force[/B]-[/U] The "Every match I think could be good , but then I find they have bad chemistry dammit" curse is back in full force. Get it? Full FORCE? I'm so punny. Anyways, onto the match. Force fought a forceful fight, but Angers desire to retire as champion was too much for him. Anger finished off Force with a Demon Slam. Winner: [B]Demon Anger[/B] in 6:05 Rating [B]([COLOR="Red"]E[/COLOR])[/B] -Jacob Stranton is backstage with Umaga and a surprisingly scared looking Bruce the Giant. ([I]And, for one night only, we have a Bruce the Giant translator on board.[/I]) [B]BTG[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]But why do I have to have a match with him?[/COLOR]" [B]Stranton[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Because you failed. Umaga doesn't like failure. Neither do I. Isn't that right Umaga?[/COLOR]" [B]Umaga[/B]: "[COLOR="Red"]Ooga booga[/COLOR] ([I]And some other incomprehensible Samoan[/I]) [B]Stranton[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]And after that failure you have to pay, and you're going to do it with your health.[/COLOR]" [B]BTG[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]But I didn't do anything wrong, why should I have to get into the ring with it?[/COLOR]" [B]Stranton[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]You lost a match Bruce. That's what you did wrong. You have to learn that as a team if you lose, I lose and so does Umaga. Umaga doesn't like to lose. It makes him angry. It makes him volatile. It makes him want to hurt people. Tonight, I let him hurt you.[/COLOR]" [B]BTG[/B]: "[COLOR="Green"]I'm sorry, I didn't mean to lose. It was an accident, I swear.[/COLOR]" [B]Stranton[/B]: "[COLOR="Blue"]Sorry Bruce, this is just the way it has to be.[/COLOR]" Bruce walks off for his match still clearly afraid of what Umaga was going to do to him. Peter Valentine now walks in. [B]Valentine[/B]: "[COLOR="Purple"]I think my water just broke.[/COLOR]" Valentine holds up a broken water bottle. "[COLOR="Purple"]Can I have a dollar to get another one?[/COLOR]" Stranton, clearly annoyed, hands Valentine a dollar. ([B][COLOR="Red"]D+[/COLOR][/B]) [IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/Diary/BrucetheGiant.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/Diary/Umaga2.jpg[/IMG] [U]-[B]Bruce the Giant vs. Umaga[/B]-[/U] How do you squash a 7' tall man? Just ask Umaga. Umaga dominated this match and put Bruce away pretty quickly with a Savage Charge. Winner: [B]Umaga[/B] in 5:51 Rating [B]([COLOR="Red"]D+[/COLOR])[/B] [IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/Diary/RudyVelasquez.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/Diary/FreddieDatsun.jpg[/IMG] [U]-[B]Rudy Velasquez vs. Freddie Datsun[/B]-[/U] Their good chemistry helped this match out, but alot of people had a bad taste in their mouth after the finish of this match. Datsun had the momentum on his side and was about to finish Velasquez off with a Patriot Press. Maxmillion distracted the ref while Rex made an impression on Datsun. A boot impression on his chin to be exact. Rex hits Datsun with a Jurassic Power and throws Velasquez on top. The ref turns around in time to count the 3. Winner: [B]Rudy Velasquez[/B] in 9:27 Rating [B]([COLOR="Red"]D+[/COLOR])[/B] -DDD is backstage warming up when Muffin walks up to him. They greet each other with nervous smiles on both of their faces. Muffin and DDD stand silent for a few seconds before both blurting out that they have something to tell the other. Devine says that she can go first, but Muffin insists that he go first. Devine tells her that he thinks it would be best if they didn't talk to each other anymore. Muffin looks a little choked up, but keeps the faux-smile on her face. Devine asks what it was she wanted to tell him, but she says it was nothing. Muffin says "[COLOR="Purple"]I'll see you around.[/COLOR]" before walking off. ([B][COLOR="Red"]B[/COLOR][/B]) -Steve Flash makes his entrance. He grabs a mic and introduces his partner, Triple D. Devine makes his way to the ring to join his partner. Hayes makes is way out onto the stage now with mic in hand. Hayes introduces his partner for tonight, Joey Minnesota. ([B]OOC Note[/B]: [I]I really wanted to bring in someone from Japan, but nobody at PGHW wants Bruce.[/I]) ([B][COLOR="Red"]C[/COLOR][/B]) [IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/Diary/DarrylDevine.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/Diary/SteveFlash.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/Diary/William-HayesHeadband.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/JoeyMinnesota.jpg[/IMG] [U]-[B]Triple D & Steve Flash vs. William Hayes & Joey Minnesota[/B]-[/U] It seems Hayes and Minnesota don't work too well together. Dammit. A good match otherwise though. Hayes and Minnesota spent a good chunk of the match making quick tags in and out wearing Flash down. Flash caught his second win though and made the tag to his partner. DDD exploded into the ring taking down anything that moved. He goes for a 3D on Hayes. Hayes shoves him off. Hayes goes for the Slick Trick. He gets Devine up, but Flash is in from behind with a chop block that takes Hayes down. Minnesota takes Flash out with a back elbow. He gets Devine up for the Minnesota Salute, but Devine turns it into a DDT. Both men go down. Devine crawls over and makes the cover on Minnesota. 1.....2... Hayes breaks it up. Flash is in and he goes after Hayes. Flash goes for Flash Bang, but Hayes slips out. Devine back up and hits a 3D on Hayes. Minnesota clubs Devine and then lands a Minnesota Salute on Flash. Minnesota goes for the pin, but Flash isn't the legal man. Minnesota turns his attention to Devine, but walks right into a Devine Dream Drop. Devine with the pin, 1....2....3. Winners: [B]Flash & Devine[/B] in 16:12 Rating [B]([COLOR="Red"]C[/COLOR])[/B] -Hayes clotheslines Flash over the top rope to the floor and then goes after DDD. They brawl until Umaga charges to the ring. Umaga tears into DDD while Hayes helps out making sure to keep his distance while he is. Flash gets back in the ring and goes after Umaga, but Hayes intercepts him and the two brawl. Muffin runs out from the back and goes after Umaga. She hits him with shot after shot, but Umaga doesn't feel any of it. Flash tosses Hayes out of the ring and goes after Umaga. Muffin and Flash double team Umaga, but he just swats them away. He goes to clothesline both of them, but they duck under it. Umaga stops himself with the ropes, turns around and gets taken out of the ring with a vicious clothesline from Devine. Devine, Muffin, and Flash stand tall in the ring while Stranton, Minnesota, and Hayes try to keep Umaga from jumping back into the ring. ([B][COLOR="Red"]C+[/COLOR][/B]) [U] Final Rating[/U] [B](C-)[/B] -And the matches for Family Night are now set. If anyone wants to make predictions: [QUOTE]-USPW World Championship Match: Triple D vs. Umaga (c) -USPW National Championship Match- William Hayes vs. Steve Flash (c) -USPW Tag Team Championship Match- The Demons of Rage vs. The Dudez!!!1!!! (c)[/QUOTE] [QUOTE][U]The Alzheimers Post-show Recap[/U]: [I]-Demon Anger defeated Jim Force (E) -Umaga defeated Bruce The Giant (D+) -Rudy Velasquez defeated Freddie Datsun (D+) -Triple D and Steve Flash defeated William Hayes and Joey Minnesota (C)[/I][/QUOTE]

[Guest Hamsalad]

I am really enjoying your dynasty. Your straight talking, “devil may care” attitude has won you a loyal reader. Predictions: USPW World Championship Match: Triple D vs. [B]Umaga (c)[/B]- I see Umaga holding this belt for awhile USPW National Championship Match- [B]William Hayes[/B] vs. Steve Flash (c) I like the wannabe Japanese Hayes -USPW Tag Team Championship Match- The Demons of Rage vs. [B]The Dudez!!!1!!! [/B](c) The Demons won't win with Anger's retirement looming...