LOSER:The Devine Comedy (Cverse 2015)

Occasional_Z · October 27, 2013

I know this isn't LOSER-related, but...

Valiant and Squeeky McClean as the Sweet Sensations? Have Val and Squeeky somehow fallen under the spell of Frederique Garcia? I just have a difficult time imagining Valiant as a flamboyant heel.

And what happened to Wolf Hawkins?

I don't know, though I was as surprised as you; it really doesn't fit. Rogue is a face in 2015, so their epic rivalry can continue...

As for Hawkins, I didn't notice him. I'll have a check when I've got the game up...like Remo in SWF he's fallen off the map.

Occasional_Z · October 29, 2013

Had a quick check on Hawkins - a torn rotator cuff in July 2014 put him on the shelf...for a year? That seems a long, long time.

It's a huge loss for TCW, he had been their champion for all of 2013.

Occasional_Z · October 29, 2013

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Behind The Curtain

By Kay Fabe

http://i1062.photobucket.com/albums/t495/Occasional_Z/LOSER/CVFP_WhiteFemale_016_zps8b37ea9c.jpghttp://i1062.photobucket.com/albums/t495/Occasional_Z/LOSER/StevieGrayson_alt2_zpsf395304e.jpg

#2 When Kay met...Stevie Grayson

Hey, hey fellow LOSERS, what's happening? I grabbed an interview with Stevie Grayson earlier, here it is...

Kay: "Hi, Stevie, welcome to Behind The Curtain!"

Stevie: "My pleasure Kay, thanks for having me!"

Kay: "So, let's ask the big question - why the cap and suit?"

Stevie: "Well, many years ago, I went to a party where the dress code was 'smart casual'. So I wore my best tracksuit and trainers. I was laughed at..."

Kay: "I'm so sorry to hear that...if it's any consolation I went to a funeral in fancy dress once..."

Stevie: "That's...kinda wrong. How did your family react?"

Kay: "Oh, it wasn't my family. Come to think of it, I have no idea who it was...anyway, you were laughed at?"

Stevie: "Yeah, 'smart casual'...that was a turning point in my life. From then on, I vowed to never be put in that situation again."

Kay: "That, er, doesn't explain the suit Stevie."

Stevie: "It does Kay - look closer. See the zips, the Adidas logo?"

Kay: "...you have a suit...tracksuit?"

Stevie: "That's right Kay...now I'm always 'smart casual."

Kay: "It just means a nice shirt and some jeans, you know? Not a tracksuit suit...why the cap? That makes no sense!"

Stevie: "It's my rebellion - made of the same material so it's technically part of the suit! No one can tell me to take it off...cos it's part of the suit!!!"

Kay: "Seriously, Steve-o...jeans and a nice shirt-"

Stevie: "-jeans are a fad. Tracksuit suits are the future."

Kay: "You're scaring me now..."

Stevie: "You're just not ready for this yet...it's like showing a monkey a TV."

Kay: "I guess it makes the same amount of sense."

Stevie: "You don't get...It's beyond...you're not ready yet."

Kay: "No...no I'm not. Go on, get out of here."

Stevie: "I'm gone. I need to find a dry cleaner."

Kay: "For the tracksuit suit?"

Stevie: "...yeah, something like that. I gotta run, pleasure talking to you."

So, there you have it. A man who doesn't understand 'smart casual' but overcame these issues to make it as a pro wrestler...heartwarming isn't it?

Occasional_Z · October 29, 2013

http://i1062.photobucket.com/albums/t495/Occasional_Z/LOSER/LoserBanner_zps6f1ada5a.jpg

Behind The Curtain

By Kay Fabe

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#3 When Kay met...The Biggins Boys

I met up with Bret and Bart Biggins earlier in the day...had a bit of a thang for Bret back in the day, but I don't think it affected the interview...

Kay: "Wow, oh-my-god, oh-my-god...Bret Biggins!!!"

Bret: "Hi Kay."

Bart: "Hey."

Kay: "Bret, Bret, Bret!!! I saw all your Tag Title wins!!! I was there at Awesome Impact 08 when you won the Shooting Star Title!!! Do you remember meeting me after?"

Bret: "Sorry, Kay...no"

Kay: "I was the girl with the home made Bret Biggins t-shirt!!! Remember, you said it was neat! Neat! That was our word!"

Bret: "Really sorry Kay, I met a lot of people at those autograph signings."

Kay: "Do you not remember!?? Rachel from Friends bob? Bit spotty? Bit of a geek? Security led me away after I tried to grab a lock of your hair?"

Bart: "I remember you, I'd never seen SWF security taser someone before."

Kay: "Bart, shhh. Bret, do you remember?!?"

Bret: "Uh, yeah I remember...I was vey touched by your...er....dedication."

Kay: "Touched! Touched!"

Bret: "Yeah, it meant a lot to me. Never met anyone who would get...tasered and-"

Kay: "-Strip searched."

Bret: "Strip searched for me before. I have to run now, Darryl asked me to speak to him regarding a...meet and greet. It's...er...great to see you again though (pecks Kay on the cheek)"

Kay: (unintelligible high pitched noise)

Bret: "I'll see you around Kay. Bart, you coming?"

Bart: "Unless Kay has any questions for me?"

Kay: "Er no..no that's all...touched...touched...touched"

Bret: "No, well, um thanks Kay, see ya later."

I'm sure Devine can fire me for that, but it was worth it for one kiss from Bret...my Bret. Now I'll have something else to remember him by, apart from the taser scars...

Big Roguey · October 29, 2013

Ah Kay Fabe, ye lasted this long before succumbing to the crazies.

Rickymex · October 29, 2013

You could end the diary right here and I wouldn't mind at all. Everything has been worth it

smwilliams · October 29, 2013

Finally, an explanation! The tracksuit makes sense, actually as it says I'm professional, but I'm also here to wrestle. Total Grayson move.

Occasional_Z · October 29, 2013

Ah Kay Fabe, ye lasted this long before succumbing to the crazies.

She's clearly been crazy from the outset, that roster breakdown bordered on unprofessional

You could end the diary right here and I wouldn't mind at all. Everything has been worth it

It'll be downhill from here onwards, promise.

Finally, an explanation! The tracksuit makes sense, actually as it says I'm professional, but I'm also here to wrestle. Total Grayson move.

It's so versatile...I'm surprised no one has thought about it before.

Occasional_Z · October 29, 2013

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LOSER: Year Of The Loser

Friday Week 3 January 2015

We admit we didn't quite get the reception we wanted last month with The Prequel, but as an ancient Chinese proverb once said; 'Let...the guy with the...dolphin squeeze the...magician's hat.'

We don't speak Chinese, but imagine in that language it means something inspiring.

Please purchase this show or we may be looking at getting real jobs.

Main card of super crazy grappling action

LOSER King of LOSERS Title Johnny Hell © vs Heavy T

Clark Alexander vs Fumihiro Ota

Stevie Grayson and The Biggins Boys vs Brad Peverell and The Wingmen

LOSER Midcard Hero Title Bulldozer Brandon Smith © vs Art Reed

LOSER Flowers and Sprinkles Title Raven Nightfall © vs Suzanne Brazzle

Grace Harper and Lauren Easter vs Nadia Snow and Demelza Wade

Pre show matches that may persuade you to purchase this show

Darryl Devine and Duke Jackson vs Team Excitement

The Masked Patriot vs The Architect

Slayen · October 30, 2013

<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="36811" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div> Kay: (unintelligible high pitched noise)</div></blockquote> And thus my falling in love with this diary is complete. Now the matches: LOSER King of LOSERS Title Johnny Hell © vs Heavy T His sideburns (ed: technically they are muttonchops) have foreseen his victory. His EVIL victory! Clark Alexander vs Fumihiro Ota Cards on table, I mark for Ota more but you can need to have strong faces to go against Johnny. No "Go Ninja, Go Ninja, Go" this time. Stevie Grayson and The Biggins Boys vs Brad Peverell and The Wingmen If it wasn't for Casey's presance, I would so go with the faces on the strength of the interviews alone. But I have to back my boy here. LOSER Midcard Hero Title Bulldozer Brandon Smith © vs Art Reed This one I could go either way one frankly, but it just feels too soon for Dozer to drop the title. LOSER Flowers and Sprinkles Title Raven Nightfall © vs Suzanne Brazzle ::See above:: Grace Harper and Lauren Easter vs Nadia Snow and Demelza Wade Gonna go with the faces to keep them ready for the heel champ. Pre show matches that may persuade you to purchase this show Darryl Devine and Duke Jackson vs Team Excitement I hear Duke Jackson once survived 3 months in the Alaskan wilderness with naught but a spork and a copy of the March 1973 issue of Playboy magazine. The Masked Patriot vs The Architect It's THE ARCHITECT, nuf said.

Rickymex · October 30, 2013

LOSER King of LOSERS Title Johnny Hell © vs Heavy T

Clark Alexander vs Fumihiro Ota

Stevie Grayson and The Biggins Boys vs Brad Peverell and The Wingmen

LOSER Midcard Hero Title Bulldozer Brandon Smith © vs Art Reed

LOSER Flowers and Sprinkles Title Raven Nightfall © vs Suzanne Brazzle

Grace Harper and Lauren Easter vs Nadia Snow and Demelza Wade

Pre show matches that may persuade you to purchase this show

Darryl Devine and Duke Jackson vs Team Excitement

The Masked Patriot vs The Architect

smwilliams · October 30, 2013

LOSER King of LOSERS Title Johnny Hell © vs Heavy T

Clark Alexander vs Fumihiro Ota

Stevie Grayson and The Biggins Boys vs Brad Peverell and The Wingmen

LOSER Midcard Hero Title Bulldozer Brandon Smith © vs Art Reed

LOSER Flowers and Sprinkles Title Raven Nightfall © vs Suzanne Brazzle

Grace Harper and Lauren Easter vs Nadia Snow and Demelza Wade

Pre show matches that may persuade you to purchase this show

Darryl Devine and Duke Jackson vs Team Excitement

The Masked Patriot vs The Architect

shawn_waters · October 30, 2013

Main card of super crazy grappling action

LOSER King of LOSERS Title Johnny Hell © vs Heavy T

Apart from the fact that Johnny Hell is THE best LOSER around, I'd be worried that Heavy T would eat the title belt if he got his hands on it...remind him that not everything gold has chocolate underneath!

Clark Alexander vs Fumihiro Ota

I really hope Ota plays a clumsy ninja, rather than a serious one...at least then it is believable when he loses...because ninjas never lose! Worst case scenario, they draw with a particularly bad ass pirate...

Stevie Grayson and The Biggins Boys vs Brad Peverell and The Wingmen

Gotta give the faces some momentum against the young upstart heels. Besides, Kay will be catatonic if Brett loses!!

LOSER Midcard Hero Title Bulldozer Brandon Smith © vs Art Reed

Reed is probably hitting decline by now (especially if PGHW dropped him), so losing to rising stars is what he is most useful for...besides, even if he did get Smith on the ground, he'd probs be too chilled to go for the pin.

LOSER Flowers and Sprinkles Title Raven Nightfall © vs Suzanne Brazzle

Because the irony of the gothic, in-love-with-satan Raven Nightfall holding something called the Flowers and Sprinkles title is too good.

Grace Harper and Lauren Easter vs Nadia Snow and Demelza Wade

Raven needs babyface blood to feed on...and Harper/Easter are so much better than the 'not good enough for Alicia Strong' club...

Pre show matches that may persuade you to purchase this show

Darryl Devine and Duke Jackson vs Team Excitement

Devine and the mysterious one will use their boring charismatic high-flying techniques to defeat the masters of the exciting, methodical technical style! Who even wants to see those monkeys in the ring anyway!!

The Masked Patriot vs The Architect

...why isn't The Architect in the main event? HUH? THIS IS THE MAN WHO INVENTED CHARISMA, REVOLUTIONISED WRESTLING AND TAUGHT BOTH RIP CHORD AND SAM STRONG EVERYTHING THEY KNOW!!!

I mean, seriously!! No wonder you fell to Cult! <img alt="" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/wink.png.686f06e511ee1fbf6bdc7d82f6831e53.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

3rdStringPG · October 30, 2013

LOSER King of LOSERS Title Johnny Hell © vs Heavy T

- Johnny Hell's sideburns know what Heavy T had for dinner...and how much.

Clark Alexander vs Fumihiro Ota

- Why so serious, Fumihiro Ota?

Stevie Grayson and The Biggins Boys vs Brad Peverell and The Wingmen

- Do it for Kay Fabe!

LOSER Midcard Hero Title Bulldozer Brandon Smith © vs Art Reed

- I'd put my money on booze coming over with a win versus weed.

LOSER Flowers and Sprinkles Title Raven Nightfall © vs Suzanne Brazzle

- Satan loves himself some flowers and sprinkles.

Grace Harper and Lauren Easter vs Nadia Snow and Demelza Wade

- In terms of skill and overness, this one goes to the faces.

Pre show matches that may persuade you to purchase this show

Darryl Devine and Duke Jackson vs Team Excitement

- As exciting as Richard Sanders and Barrington Kingman (yes, I know Barry is a standalone name, but...we need moar excitement!) may be, the boring old booker man and his high-flying sidekick (zzzzzz) won't allow these technical wizards to go over.

The Masked Patriot vs The Architect

- Before there was wrestling, there was THE ARCHITECT. THE ARCHITECT invented wrestling, dagnabbit!

Psycho Sam · October 30, 2013

<img alt="" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/wink.png.686f06e511ee1fbf6bdc7d82f6831e53.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

Clark Alexander vs Fumihiro Ota

Stevie Grayson and The Biggins Boys vs Brad Peverell and The Wingmen

Grace Harper and Lauren Easter vs Nadia Snow and Demelza Wade

Pre show matches that may persuade you to purchase this show

Darryl Devine and Duke Jackson vs Team Excitement

The Masked Patriot vs The Architect

Zergon · October 30, 2013

Too early for a title change part 1: No Hope.

Clark Alexander vs Fumihiro Ota

Ninjas never lose... expect in last show... and this, since we need face challenger for Hell.... but surely this is just part of a plan so evil and complicated that only ninja can understand it.

Stevie Grayson and The Biggins Boys vs Brad Peverell and The Wingmen

Bigger names.

Too early for a title change part 2: Bulldozer Strikes Back.

Too early for a title change part 3: Return Of The Raven

Grace Harper and Lauren Easter vs Nadia Snow and Demelza Wade

I keep the same reasoning than in last months tag match since it was perfect... only that I picked the wrong girl winning the title. <img alt="" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/tongue.png.ceb643b2956793497cef30b0e944be28.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

Darryl Devine and Duke Jackson vs Team Excitement

Random pairing over real team because booker man says so.

The Masked Patriot vs The Architect

Architect seems to be somekind of cult favorite here but i still go with Patriot.

DanMTheMan · October 30, 2013

<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="Zergon" data-cite="Zergon" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="36811" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>LOSER King of LOSERS Title Johnny Hell © vs Heavy T Too early for a title change part 1: No Hope. Clark Alexander vs Fumihiro Ota Ninjas never lose... expect in last show... and this, since we need face challenger for Hell.... but surely this is just part of a plan so evil and complicated that only ninja can understand it. Stevie Grayson and The Biggins Boys vs Brad Peverell and The Wingmen Bigger names. LOSER Midcard Hero Title Bulldozer Brandon Smith © vs Art Reed Too early for a title change part 2: Bulldozer Strikes Back. LOSER Flowers and Sprinkles Title Raven Nightfall © vs Suzanne Brazzle Too early for a title change part 3: Return Of The Raven Grace Harper and Lauren Easter vs Nadia Snow and Demelza Wade I keep the same reasoning than in last months tag match since it was perfect... only that I picked the wrong girl winning the title. <img alt=":p" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/tongue.png.ceb643b2956793497cef30b0e944be28.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /> Darryl Devine and Duke Jackson vs Team Excitement Random pairing over real team because booker man says so.</div></blockquote> I agree with Zergon....except in the case of THE ARCHITECT! The Masked Patriot vs THE ARCHITECT THE ARCHITECT OF YOUR DESTRUCTION will win!

Occasional_Z · October 30, 2013

<div style="text-align:center;">http://i1062.photobucket.com/albums/t495/Occasional_Z/LOSER/DPW_zps881f7126.jpg DPW - Being the World's Greatest Booker #1 By Travis Slicke http://i1062.photobucket.com/albums/t495/Occasional_Z/LOSER/CVFP_WhiteAnnouncer_004_zpsf266bb33.jpg Another month, another great booking display by me....the world's greatest booker. Only beeeen doin't it for two, two whole months and I've put another great card on!!!</div> <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="36811" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;"> DPW Thou Shall Not Saturday Week 1 January 2015 The Simmons Center (South West) 300 Sell Out! Xavier Reckless defeated Syd Collier (E+) Ox Mastadon defeated Brutus Milano and Deuce Deadline (E) Desert Storm beat Cobra (E) Ant Man and Happy Elwood defeated Midnight Prowler and Melvin Otto for the DPW Minor League Tag Titles (E) Cowboy Buck Winchester defeated Chucky Dorrance (E) Tennesse William defeated Julius Moor to retain the DPW Prospect Title (E+) ANGLE: Brawl between Stacey Penn and Brooke Tyler © Matty Faith defeated Knuckles (D-) Insane Machine defeated Kentucky Bill to retain the DPW Most Developed Title (D-) Show Rating - D</div></div></blockquote> <div style="text-align:center;">I meaan look at that show! I've taken rookies and raw potential...and moulded them into an awesome company. Give me 6 weeks and I could take this company to International, easily! Like look at the Tag Title match...my masterpiece! I saw the potential in a Happy Elwood/Ant-Man team, put 'em together and called them The Shining Examples...cos that's what they are!!! Insane Machine as Most Developed Champion as well - my brainwave!!! Next month, I'll book our first ever PPV!!!</div>

Slayen · October 31, 2013

Ah, Travis. He is the kind of person who makes others want to punch them in the face the moment they open their fat yapper.

Still, kudos to Knuckles for getting a D- out of Matty Faith. Would have expected a bit better out of Machine/Bill though.

Occasional_Z · October 31, 2013

Ah, Travis. He is the kind of person who makes others want to punch them in the face the moment they open their fat yapper.

Still, kudos to Knuckles for getting a D- out of Matty Faith. Would have expected a bit better out of Machine/Bill though.

Yeah Travis is damn annoying...even to me. He was meant to be LOSER's owner when I created him. TEW chose Pee-Wee instead, which had me worried until I realised I could write for him.

Then Travis got to be DPW owner, made himself booker and hired the world's biggest roster. Asshat.

Pteroid · October 31, 2013

Shut up, Travis. -_-

Occasional_Z · November 5, 2013

<div style="text-align:center;">Year of The Loser Friday Week 3 January 2015 Utah Park Reservation (South West) - Att 15,000 Sell Out PPV Buy Rate - 0.17</div> Stuff to kill time before the show <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="36811" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;">Ernest Youngman vs Davis Wayne Newton</div> To prove that ‘bonus’ doesn’t mean’ good’, we threw this on the card. The fans were confused by Youngman’s change from rebel heel to street fighting face (note to self: stop making silly booking mistakes) and there was bad chemistry too. A Chicago Clutch (Guillotine Choke) wins it for Youngman. <div style="text-align:center;">Winner – Ernest Youngman @4:46 (F)</div> </div></blockquote> At the concession stand, we see Art Reed being interviewed Faceless Interviewer: “So Art, are you confident about tonight?” Reed: “Sure am! Smith’s a tough cookie, but I’m gonna stretch him and snap him.” Faceless Interviewer: “That’s good. Can I ask you about some comments The Architect made about you earlier to LOSER.org?” Reed: “Shoot.” Faceless Interviewer: (takes notes from pocket) “THE ARCHITECT –“ Reed: “Please…not the shouting…we really shouldn’t encourage him.” Faceless Interviewer:“Sorry…The Architect states that Art Reed does not know more submission holds than him. Architect states that he is the greatest submission wrestler in the world and he will make Art Reed cry like a little girl.” Reed: “I’m not too bothered. Just an up and comer trying to make a name for-“ Faceless Interviewer: “-The Architect also stated that the only person who could make him tap is Art Reed’s mom.” Reed: (smirk) “I’ll get him…I’ll get him good…jackass.” (D-) <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="36811" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;">Masked Patriot vs The Architect</div> Nothing too special here – as usual The Architect looks good, but tries too hard for the Blueprint. Patriot holds him off then hits the Patriot Slam (Full Nelson Slam) for the win. <div style="text-align:center;">Winner – Masked Patriot @5:52 (E+)</div> </div></blockquote> In the underwater fortress (fine, Locker Room A) Missy Masterton and Team Excitement are ready to blow your mind Kingman: “Ok, I got this…Devine…Jackson…we’re Team Excitement and there is a 50/50 chance we will beat ya tonight." Sanders: “Oww…my knee…where’s my medication?” Missy: “C’mon guys, let’s be positive here!" Sanders: “I’m positive that my knee needs surgery.” Kingman: “I’m always cheery. Especially now I’ve stopped eating as much dairy.” Sanders: “How’s that working for you?” Kingman: “Much better. Been-“ Missy: “-seriously? Look , Devine, Jackson, tonight Team Excitement take you to a whole other level-“ Kingman: “Will the other level have toilets? This diet has…altered my bathroom habits.” Missy: “…” (E+) We see Duke Jackson walking to the promo point, camera decides to follow him… Duke: (to self) ”C’mon Donnie, hold it together…this isn’t CZCW…I’ve managed to start again, everyone thinks I’m cool-“ Darryl Devine sneaks up on Duke Jackson and the cameraman Devine: “Hey,Duke, nice to meet you! Is it true you once caught a bullet in your teeth?” Duke: (composing himself) “Er…yeah. Didn’t need to floss after that…” Devine: “I bet you didn’t…let’s do this. Team Excitement, tonight you step into the ring with Mighty Fine and a man who once stole a panda from China. You got no chance tonight! Tell em Duke!” Duke: “Erm…yeah, so we’ve got this match right…and you’re gonna lose!" Devine: “Not good on promos are you? (Duke looks horrified) Don’t worry, it’s probably the brain damage that forced you to quit pro football.” Duke: “Er…sure, that’ sounds right…” (E+) <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="36811" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;">Darryl Devine and Duke Jackson vs Team Excitement</div> It’s a clash of styles – fast and talented vs slow and past it. Slow and past it have their moments, but Devine and Jackson are able to fight back, with Devine in particular looking good against the hapless Kingman. In the end, a Devine Dream Drop sets Kingman up for Death on Miami Beach (Senton Bomb) and the win. <div style="text-align:center;">Winner - Devine and Jackson @5:52 (D-)</div> </div></blockquote> As Devine walks backstage he sees his office has had the name changed on the door…to Shane Sneer. He then sees the ground as Ruby…Rudy Velasquez clotheslines him from behind. Fabulous Joe Benning and Ace Ford join the attack, raining kicks down on the helpless Devine. As an exclamation point , Ford and Velasquez hold an unconscious Devine up for a Fabulous Strike (Superkick) (E-) The reason you spent all this money…money you will never get back Pyro kicks off the show as the crowd wonder if we can afford such luxuries after dropping to cult…Shane Sneer comes to the ring to address the fans; Sneer: “Before I retreat to the safety of the announce desk, away from you fat, sweaty Californian creeps, I would like to end the speculation. I, Shane Sneer, am the new matchmaker of LOSER. Darryl, when you wake up, please accept that beating as your P45. After, last month’s fiasco, you’re lucky that’s all you got…” © <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="36811" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;">Grace Harper and Lauren Easter vs Nadia Snow and Demelza Wade</div> The bitchy Snow and Wade (who are now collectively known as So Much Better Than You) control from the off, double-teaming/criticising the make-up of Lauren Easter. However, they are distracted by a guy wearing red and green in the crowd, the fashion faux pa allowing Harper to tag in. The veteran quickly turns the match around, lifting and planting a gagging Snow with the Fisherman Suplex for 3. <div style="text-align:center;">Winner – Harper and Easter @7:45 (D) </div></div></blockquote> Backstage we see Johnny Hell at a desk, holding what looks like a resume in his hand Hell: “Come in!” Acid strolls in, dripping sleaze Hell: “Thank you for coming. The agency told me a lot of good things about you, Mr Acid.” Acid: “Please…just Acid is fine.” Hell: “Ok…well, I’ll cut to the chase. The Devil’s Playground is looking for a bad guy who can work unsupervised and wants to go higher in the faction. We’ve a good starting salary and offer a great pension plan, I just had some questions for you.” Acid: “Sure.” Hell: “Well, why were you the only applicant?” Acid: "I stole all the other resumes…hid them down my pants.” Hell: “You’re good…stopping anyone else from applying? I like it, shows real desire.” Acid: “….yes…yes that is why I did it. Show desire. Not for sick sexual pleasure.” Hell: “Um…Shall we move on?”(C-) Some time later (we can do segues in a live show, right?) Hell: “Well…as the only applicant, I’d like to offer you the post.” Acid: “Great, when do I start?” Hell: “Now! No, wait (checks watch)….now!” The two men shake hands Hell: “Do you have any questions for me?” Acid: “Yes…I need to take two weeks a year off for a masked wrestler S+M convention, will this be a problem?” Hell: “It’s fine, providing you never mention it ever again. Now, for your first job…” (D+) <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="36811" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;">LOSER Flowers and Sprinkles Title Raven Nightfall © vs Suzanne Brazzle</div> More bad chemistry, though this was still decent by LOSER standards. After an open ten minutes, Brazzle is able to knock the sideburn hairs from Nightfall’s hands, but as she goes to pick them up to pass to Ref Germaine, Nightfall grabs Brazzle’s tights and rolls her up for the unfair win. <div style="text-align:center;">Winner – Raven Nightfall @ 11:42 (D+)</div> </div></blockquote> In the bar area of the arena, we see Bulldozer Brandon Smith sipping a beer Bulldozer: “Reed, I’m pissed. Not literally, the night, unlike you, is still young. I’m angry Reed. Angry I have to defend my title against you. Angry that my CV to join The Devil’s Playground was lost in the post. Angry that this is the last beer in the arena and I can still count my fingers. I plan to take this anger out on you tonight, you weak bastard.” (D-) <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="36811" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;">LOSER Midcard Hero Title Bulldozer Brandon Smith © vs Art Reed</div> AKA Japanese style wrestling lets us down again…it’s a competent encounter where Bulldozer impresses, but Reed looks like winning. Until The Architect comes to ringside, with a massive blow up picture of Reed’s mother…Reed goes to strangle The Architect, giving Bulldozer the opening to hit the Backdrop Driver, 1 -2 -3. <div style="text-align:center;">Winner - Bulldozer Brandon Smith @ 12:57 (D-) </div> </div></blockquote> In segment of the night, Grace Harper comes to ringside to fire T-shirts to fans and sign autographs. It’s going well until... (C+) …Raven Nightfall attacks her! Harper tries to fight back, but Raven clocks her with the t-shirt gun, then executes a Night Faller (Reverse DDT). As medics see to Harper, Raven spreads the sideburn hairs on the ring mats and begins to pray to them…no, us neither. (D) <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="36811" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;">Stevie Grayson and The Biggins Boyz vs Brad Peverell and The Wingmen</div> Peverell and The Wingmen don’t even try to pretend they are out of their depth…their lack of a plan would be the main giveaway. Eventually, Valentine uses Peverell’s little black book as a weapon (it’s like an encyclopaedia, so it’s pretty heavy) to slow down Bart Biggins. Unfortunately (well for them), the heels' biggest weapon is their biggest weakness…once Brett Biggins pulls some pages out, chaos breaks out. In the midst of it, Bart catches Valentine with the B-Rocker and pins him amongst the scattered pages… <div style="text-align:center;">Winners - Grayson and The Biggins Boys @13:47 (D-)</div> </div></blockquote> We see Frankie Perez backstage at a vending machine, looking at candy. He buys a Three Musketeers bar and a flying kick from a masked man…no, wait just the first one. Acid beats Perez with the Three Musketeers bar, until a bottle of Mountain Dew sends him flying. Mikey James is pissed; his Three Musketeers bar has been snapped and his best friend is hurt…time to kick some ass! Acid is dragged to his feet, slammed into the vending machine, then thrust kicked into a coffee machine! (D+) Away from the chaos at the vending machines, we see Clark Alexander conducting an interview with our website. Alexander: “…why do I think I’m going to win tonight? Because I have the focus and the ability. Ota, you’re damn good…But I’m damn great." (D+) <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="36811" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;">Fumihiro Ota vs Clark Alexander</div> Match of they night! (though a notch below Harper/Nightfall from last month) It’s a close affair as both know each other from TCW and have each other scouted. However Ota, showing a rare lack of preparation, forgets what Clark’s big move is (a snap DDT now dubbed the Hawaiian Ice Breaker) and gets spiked on his head, giving Alexander the victory. <div style="text-align:center;">Winner – Clark Alexander @20:01 (C-)</div> </div></blockquote> Before Alexander can celebrate his victory, Bill Bastard hits ringside and attacks him. A violent latriat, big boot and Bastard Bomb (Powerbomb) leave the Hawaiian flat on his back. Security tries to stop Bastard with a riot baton, but Bastard just pulls the baton away...ripping the officer’s arm off?!? WTF!!! Who the hell hired this security team? (C-) In his private dressing room (an on suite bathroom if we’re being truthful) Johnny Hell speaks about the main event. Hell: “Tonight I take on all you weak pathetic low-lifes when I defend my King of LOSERS title against that fat blob Heavy T. Don’t cheer him too loudly in case he has a heart attack. Don’t grab him on the way to the ring in case he thinks you’re food. What I’m trying to say is; he’s fat, and we all know that fat people are freaks, to be watched and poked for all eternity. Not champions or people to be admired, but freak shows meant to hidden away. When me and my sideburns pin him…then Heavy T, it’ll be back to the freakshow…for you © Armed with a pizza, Heavy T prepares his educated counter argument T: “Hell (eats pizza slice) You talk about how fat people can’t do this or achieve anything (eats pizza slice) Hell, you say we should be hidden away (looks at pizza slice, summons production assistant) Why are there vegetables on this? You know I’m allergic to them! Anyway, Hell, me and all my chunky brothers and sisters are ready for tonight, we can be who or what we want, as long as we believe in ourselves…I’m gonna channel all their enormous energy and crush you like a bug (eats pizza slice). Once they make a title belt that fits around the equator, I’m gonna be crowned the King of LOSERS! (D+) <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="36811" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;">King of LOSERS Title Johnny Hell © vs Heavy T</div> Good chemistry here, almost compensating for the lack of workrate. Heavy T slows down the pace to control Hell (read:T has no stamina, welcome to rest hold city) and it seems a sound strategy; Hell is being demoralised by the weight of Heavy T being on him. That weight affects Heavy T too – he’s simply too big to get around the ring quickly and Hell capitalises with a dropkick. T fights back and sets up his Big Fat Samoan Splash(A fat Samoan jumps on you…what do want, diagrams?) but Raven Nightfall grabs his leg. T turns around and gets the sideburn hairs to the face, leaving him easy pickings for the Hellraiser (Double Knee Facebuster). <div style="text-align:center;">Winner – Johnny Hell @13:18 (D+)</div> </div></blockquote> <div style="text-align:center;">Overall - C-</div>

Occasional_Z · November 5, 2013

My apologies for the lack of pictures - the night I get around to doing this and Photobucket is having maintenance issues? I guess if it makes the damn thing more reliable I can't complain...

Predictions

Slayen - 6/8 I figured that Johnny Hell's sideburns weren't sideburns, but I had no idea what to call them...I think if they're lying about being sideburns though that makes them more evil

Rickymex - 7/8

smwilliams - 6/8

shawn waters - 7/8 I didn't fall to cult cos of not pushing THE ARCHITECT, it was because of lack of ability and forward planning <img alt="" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/smile.png.142cfa0a1cd2925c0463c1d00f499df2.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

3rdStringPG -7/8 ARCHITECT better invent himself some overness

Psycho Sam - 7/8 I'm assuming you picked Hell to retain

Zergon - 8/8 Well done sir

DanTheMan - 7/8 Moral of the story - always agree with Zergon <img alt="" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/biggrin.png.929299b4c121f473b0026f3d6e74d189.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

So Zergon wins this round...feel free to pick an interview subject for Kay Fabe

Slayen · November 6, 2013

<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="Occasional_Z" data-cite="Occasional_Z" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="36811" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div> Slayen - 6/8 I figured that Johnny Hell's sideburns weren't sideburns, but I had no idea what to call them...I think if they're lying about being sideburns though that makes them more evil</div></blockquote> And thus laying down the seeds of him being betrayed by his own hair follicles. BRILLIANT!

Psycho Sam · November 6, 2013

<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="Occasional_Z" data-cite="Occasional_Z" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="36811" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>I'm assuming you picked Hell to retain </div></blockquote> No. I picked for the title to win due to shenanigans.

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