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ZEN: Because You Can Never Have Enough Parallel Universes

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EWBSDM

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OOC Notes:

 

Yes, this is somewhat of a retcon from the version in the 2010 TEW database, but, it's my diary, I will establish my own canon.

 

If you are averse to retcons, there are two other ZEN diaries on the board I am keeping up with. They're both good.

 

Words in italics are where I have censored to remove swearing. I tend to swear a lot. It makes for a lot of laughs in job interviews.

 

http://img198.imageshack.us/img198/9479/zenalt.jpg

 

Company Details

 

Name: ZEN: Art Of Wrestling

Owner: Halloween Knight

Location: New Zealand

Prestige: F+

Momentum: E+

Starting Money: $49,800 (I gave Halloween Knight $200 so that he would like me more :D)

 

Backstory

 

November 8th, 2006

 

http://img407.imageshack.us/img407/5197/arenaur.jpg

 

"Here is your winner, Mayhem Mulhoney!"

 

The big Aussie brawler raised up his arms, grinning through a thick coating of blood. He was handed the championship belt and he lowered his lips to it and kissed it, in the process coating the shiny gold metal with a thin skin of red human fluid. He looked down at the crumpled form in the center of the ring, scowled, and then left the ring, throwing the belt over his shoulder and soaking up the boos from the crowd.

 

The crowd slowly began to turn from the man walking away from the ring to the man inside it. His bloody, battered form was just starting to shake as consciousness returned to him. He reached up and tore what was left of his t-shirt off of his left shoulder, admiring the deep cut the barbed wire had left in his flesh. He pushed himself up to one knee, and then fell back down to his stomach; unprepared for the dizzyness the blood loss had brought on. Pushing himself back up again, he ran his hands over his chest.

 

Cuts, burns, scars... both fresh and old littered his skin. Metal barbs and metal tacks penetrated it and blood flowed from where it parted. He was a mess. He was too old to be extreme but too much of a washed up old person to learn to be a better wrestler. He took a beating well. That was pretty much all he had left. It was obvious, to himself, and to everyone there, that this was the end of the line.

 

Even so, he refused to go out on his back. Instead, he reached up and grabbed the top rope with his right hand. The crowd cheered as he dragged his weight up and off the mat, slinging his badly damaged left arm over the rope to support it and his weight. He reached up and ran a hand over the fresh cuts on his bald head, making a quick mental count of how many stitches he needed.

 

Then, he turned to the crowd.

 

"Somebody get me a cold beer!"

 

The crowd roared their approval. A few seconds later, somebody got The Comedian a cold beer.

 

November 2nd, 2009

 

http://img251.imageshack.us/img251/8807/hamilton.jpg

 

The streets of Hamilton, New Zealand were lovely this time of year. Twenty four degrees... not too stifling hot, but nice and calm and warm. Not like the bitter cold he'd see if he were in the States right now. No, here, everything was just right.

 

He wasn't from New Zealand. Australia was his home. But this town was looking more and more like the big Aussie cities all the time as development continued and more and more highrises went up. He imagined that eventually, this cities small town charm would fade as big city life enveloped all of it's citizens, but for now, it still felt... nice.

 

He looked down at the note in his hand. Number 60, Aberdeen Drive. It wasn't far from where he was now, and he wasn't in a hurry, so he walked. It was a lovely day; no reason to fork out for a cab.

 

http://img24.imageshack.us/img24/8581/zengarden.jpg

 

When he reached the building, he looked down and confirmed that he was at the right address. He looked at the banner on the building identifying it as the Bendis Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Academy. A martial arts dojo serving mostly BJJ, but also other forms of combat. Notably, this was, without a doubt, the best place down under to learn Lucha Libre. Of course, the man with the note had no interest in learning Lucha Libre. He was too much of a washed up old person to learn how to be a better wrestler. But he knew that, nevertheless, this would be where his next journey started.

 

He dropped the cigarette from his lips to the ground, stepping down on it and turning his boot until it was extinguished. He folded the paper note into his pocket and pulled open the glass door of the building, entering the air conditioned hall and carefully wiping his feet on the welcome mat inside the door.

 

Inside, behind the desk at the reception of the building, the man looked up from his newspaper and gave the newcomer to the building a once over. "Can I help you?"

 

The newcomer nodded. "I'm looking for Frank Bendis."

 

The man lowered his newspaper even further. "I'm Frank Bendis. Who is asking?"

 

The man at the doorway gently shook his head. "I'm sorry, I'm not looking for you. I'm looking for the other Frank Bendis," the man clarified. "Tell him it's The Comedian."

 

http://img189.imageshack.us/img189/1271/thecomedian.jpg

 

A few minutes later, the younger of the two men named Frank Bendis opened a door leading from the reception area of the building to a gymnasium behind. The room was padded from floor to ceiling, although some spots had large, black mats on top of the soft, white padding that was built into the floors and walls. Bendis, as he always did, was wearing a mask, as were many of the other men in the room. The Comedian passed many varieties of masked and painted face as Bendis walked him through the gym.

 

"They're always in character?" The Comedian asked, partly legitimately curious, and partly as a sarcastic jerkface.

 

"Its tradition," Bendis answered back. "And its a tradition I stick to. Please don't use my given name when we're in front of the students. My name here is Halloween Knight."

 

http://img97.imageshack.us/img97/6896/halloweenknight.jpg

 

"Of course," The Comedian replied. The sarcastic tone remained; however, since he respected the man, he would do as he asked. "How've you been? I haven't seen you since that last night in Perth."

 

"That was three years ago," Knight said, remembering the night well. "You got quite the ovation as you left the arena that night."

 

"They don't make promotions like that anymore. Perth Pro... was a great place to be," Comedian said, nostalgic.

 

"Unless you had a family to feed," Knight countered with a somewhat more realistic appraisal of the situation.

 

"Well sure, the pay was not exactly good, when it was delivered at all, but the crowd was good, the atmosphere was alive... it was real professional wrestling. Not like the fruity product they have today," The Comedian said. At the end, he was almost snarling. "Have you watched any RAW?"

 

"I have," Knight answered. "I admit that the traditionalist inside me feels a great pain in his heart when that show is broadcast, but there is not much that I can do; this is the nature of things today. Wrestling is a business now more than ever before."

 

"Eh," The Comedian countered. They'd reached the center of the gym, where a small wrestling ring had been set up. Differing from a ring the likes of which were normally wrestled in in that it was much lower to the ground, this seemed to be where Halloween Knight did all of his training. Inside the ring, a worker with a green and pink mask that looked vaguely like a watermelon, and a large, imposing black man, were going through a series of chain counters. Comedian watched somewhat intently until he realized which one was training which; the black guy was new.

 

Halloween Knight approached his office. It was a door from the door on the wall opposite the door in which they'd entered; both doors, and their respective frames. were the only exposed wood in the entire room. He opened the door and led the way inside. "Take a seat," he said, pointing to a pair of office chairs on the outside of the desk. The other side was his seat, with the monitor facing towards him as he stepped around the desk.

 

The Comedian appraised the room, nodding his head. "Nice digs," he commented, as his eyes traveled from the photos on the wall of Halloween Knight, and a few of his students, in their natural environment, down to a mini fridge located near the door. "Got any beer in there?"

 

Knight smiled beneath his mask. "That's for water and the first aid kit. Some of the medical supplies stay longer if kept refrigerated," he commented. He adjusted his posture, getting more comfortable in his chair. "So what brings you to my dojo, Mr. Comedian?"

 

The Comedian held his hand up. "All in good time, friend," he said, and reached into his jacket with his other hand. "Mind if I smoke?"

 

"Yes, I do mind," Knight countered, and Comedian put his hand back on the desk. "It has been several years since I've seen you, old friend. Do not take this the wrong way, but I am somewhat curious as to why, after all of this time, you have chosen to contact me. You seemed to be somewhat angry at most of your past wrestling connections when last I checked."

 

"Most," The Comedian said. "Let me ask you a question then. Why haven't you worked for Australia Pro Wrestling?"

 

Knight shrugged. "I did, for a bit. They seemed to be a bit directionless. Granted, they had all the talent, but they didn't really have any idea on how to properly utilize them. Without an aim or purpose for my being there, I saw no real need to be there. So I came here instead."

 

"Where you train the next generation of stars," Comedian said. No sarcasm.

 

"Only time will determine that," Halloween Knight said. "What about your venture? Deep Impact Wrestling. How goes your struggle against mainstream wrestling?"

 

"It's a struggle," Comedian said. "We have a solid fanbase, and loyal workers, but we're just really getting started."

 

"Well, I wish you luck in your endeavors, old friend," Halloween Knight said, bowing his head respectfully.

 

"Thanks," Comedian said, genuinely thankful for the support. "Who are the two guys in the ring?"

 

"The man in the mask was X-Calibre. He's athletically gifted with great flash. Limited as a technical worker, but he has tremendous potential for stardom," Knight added. "The other man is new. Maurice Jackson. Former rudby standout. Good build, not sure about his wrestling ability though. Might be better suited as a brawler. If he is, I'll recommend that he talk to you."

 

"I appreciate that," Comedian said, once again, without sarcasm. "Let me ask you a question. What do you think will happen to your students when they're ready for the prime time? When they're ready to wrestle in front of a crowd. What do you think will happen to them?"

 

Knight reclined a bit, considering deeply. "There are two Australian promotions now with television deals. I would hope that they could make a name for themselves there. While neither promotion may offer exactly the kind of wrestling that I think is best, maybe a sudden influx of talented young wrestlers might change their focus."

 

"More than likely, it is the wrestlers who would be forced to change their focus, and forced to change their style," Comedian said. "What if there were another option? Somewhere else they could ply their craft. A different promotion with a different focus and a different way of doing business."

 

Beneath his mask, Knight offered a polite smile. "While I appreciate the offer, I don't think most of my students are cut out for Deep Impact Wrestling. No offense intended, but your promotion is mostly fixated on brawling and hardcore wrestling. I mostly work with luchadores here. It would not work out."

 

Comedian smiled in return. "What if there were an option C?"

 

Halloween Knight considered. "To what are you referring?"

 

Comedian leaned back. "You don't like Australian Pro Wrestling and neither do I. We both think Revolution Australian Wrestling is a joke. And, you're right. Your lucha guys with their funky masks probably wouldn't fit with most of the roster of Deep Impact Wrestling. So make another option. Open your own promotion. Start hosting your own wrestling shows."

 

Knight wasn't sure how exactly to respond. "I... I'm not a promoter. I'm a wrestler."

 

"I wasn't a promoter either until I ran my first show," The Comedian answered back. "It is not really that hard. You pretty much just have to take a lot more phone calls which, judging from this private office of yours, you're already set up for anyway."

 

"I don't have the money," Knight said. "To book talent, to book venues, to travel..."

 

"So don't spend money," The Comedian answered back. "Book talent that you develop. Local talent comes pretty cheap, generally. And don't travel. Book shows in New Zealand. When you get big enough, expand to Australia. Do a few shows in Japan. They'd eat up a good junior/lucha comedy show."

 

"But I'd still have to pay to book a venue here," Knight answered, "and I can't afford to rent out The Grey Dog Software arena."

 

"So book your shows here."

 

Knight thought about it. "Here?"

 

"Sure," The Comedian said, smiling wider. "You can probably fit a couple hundred people into that gym back there. And that way, you keep costs down. Instead of paying off some old armory or bingo hall owner, you keep the money internal. Sure, you don't yourself own the gym, but it's your dad's, so you basically do. That makes it a hell of a lot cheaper then renting an actual venue."

 

Knight nodded. "What you're saying makes a lot of sense, but I am still not sure it is a good idea. Many of my students aren't ready for a crowd yet, so building a promotion around them would be dangerous at best."

 

"Give them to me. Temporarily," Comedian assured. "We'll take them on and put them against each other. Develop chemistry, some tag teams, what have you. I'll not book them in any wild brawls likely to scar them for life. In a few months, you open up shop, you can take them back with a bit more experience in front of a crowd."

 

"It's something to consider," Knight said, then sighed. "But I can't do it. I don't have the experience and I don't think you have time to help me out with it."

 

Comedian nodded. "You're right," he said, and reached down into his pocket, pulling out the piece of paper he had earlier. "That's why I brought you this," he said, and slid the paper across the table.

 

Halloween Knight picked it up and studied it carefully. "It is the address of this building. I don't understand."

 

Comedian shook his head. "Sorry. Turn it over to the other side," he said, and Knight did so. "His name is Paul Massey. A native Kiwi. Hell of a worker back in the day, and he's done a bit of work with the guys in DIW. Give him a call."

 

"I'm still not sure I can do this," Knight responded.

 

"And you won't be sure," The Comedian replied. "You won't be sure you can do it until you've actually done it. And even then, you will have questions. But whether you can make it work long term or not isn't relevant. What you do know for sure is what you feel in your heart. This where your next journey begins. Right here. Right now. You're going to do this because you were meant to do this. And, perhaps more importantly, you're going to do this because RAW is for people whose sexual orientation is in question, and forget anyone who works there."

 

Knight smiled a little. "I'll consider it. In the meantime, I'll introduce you to the boys. You can give them your information, get them in front of a crowd. I would appreciate that chance for them."

 

"Don't mention it, my friend," Comedian said. He offered his hand, and Knight sat up and his chair and shook it. "Do me a favour, and talk to Massey. Once you get the ball rolling, this thing will be a go. I'm telling you, two months from now, you and I will be back in this office toasting to your new promotion."

 

"Maybe," Knight said, and sarcastically added, "should I buy some champagne?"

 

"Man, forget that," The Comedian said. "Just buy some good beer."

 

December 26th, 2009

 

The day after Christmas, a blog post appeared on DIWrestling.com.

 

Morning all! Hope you are having a happy holidays, relatively sober and law enforcement free. If your inlaws bother you off as much as mine do, just remember: one or two beers makes them slightly easier to tolerate, but four or five means you'll probably be more likely to get into a drunken brawl, and nothing ruins Christmas like a kendo stick to the person in question's face!

 

Errr, sorry, kinda got off on a tangent there.

 

Anyway, while DIW is taking a few days for a holiday break, I decided to share with you all a Boxing Day present. It's a link. Now, it isn't active yet, but I'm putting it up anyway. In a few days, it will link to the most glorious wrestling website ever, and no, I'm not talking about my biography website. I'm talking about ZEN.

 

http://img29.imageshack.us/img29/3260/zenxb.jpg

 

What is ZEN, you ask? Well, I'd tell you... if I could. And that's not some legal type of restriction caused by some sort of secrecy clause or anything, cause you know better than to think I understand the word confidentiality let alone give a care about it. No, the reason I can't explain ZEN is because it's just too messed up for me to make sense of. I've seen a bit of it, and I can tell you now, you haven't seen anything like this in all of Aussie wrestling. When these guys start holding live shows, you are going to want to be there. It's... indescribable.

 

For now, enjoy the button. Those of you who are part of the IWC will no doubt click on it repeatedly until it works. It won't be very long until that's a reality, but for now, enjoy the reality you have now; it's going to get pretty considerably distorted in a few days time.

 

Signing the computer out,

 

The Comedian

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EWBSDM Newbie

EWBSDM

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December 28th, 2009

ZEN Website Goes Live.

http://img198.imageshack.us/img198/9479/zenalt.jpg

ZEN: Art Of Wrestling Website - http://http://www.zengarden.au

 

http://img69.imageshack.us/img69/3738/bstaff.jpg

ZEN Staff

 

http://img251.imageshack.us/img251/5723/sparkysparks.jpg

Sparky Sparks

Sparky Sparks began his television career with a cable access television show called Barbie Love, which specialized in creating highly romantic meals suitable for candlelit dinner with your lover using only a propane barbecue. When the television show went under, Sparks found himself desperate for work, and took a job recording answering machine messages for local businesses. One of those businesses was the ZEN dojo, and they soon hired him to be their play by play man.

http://img202.imageshack.us/img202/9520/alexarturro.jpg

The Alex Arturro Experience

Alex Arturro was a stand-up comedian working the New Zealand bar scene. One day, a drunken heckler in the crowd got Arturro to turn on him, to the amusement of everyone but the heckler. The heckler, DIW Wrestler The Comedian, beat Arturro into a coma. When Arturro sued, a few of the wrestlers in attendance that night tried to talk him down, and one, Halloween Knight, promised Arturro a job where he could get paid to sit there and insult people all night. Tired of always having to stand up when he was insulting people, Arturro accepted.

 

http://img718.imageshack.us/img718/9744/stevenyale.jpg

Stephen Yale

A former referee for big time Japanese federations, a chance encounter with red mist changed Stephen Yale's life forever. Ten years later, Yale had been unable to find any work as a wrestling referee until ZEN offered him a contract. Yale immediately accepted and became ZEN's head, and only, referee. This is sometimes problematic as Yale has a tendency to get lost on the way from his house to the arena, requiring a wrestler to go out and find him while the promotion allows a randomly selected fan to referee the opening contests.

 

http://img163.imageshack.us/img163/1959/mollycuddle.jpg

Molly Cuddle

Molly Cuddle was originally the receptionist at the ZEN dojo before the promotion began booking there. Once it did, she became the full time assistant to the promoter, answering calls, booking interviews, selling merchandise, laundering money... whatever helps the promotion succeed! Since she serves as the bosses secretary, she is the closest thing the promotion has to an on screen commissioner, since she relays the matches booked as they are phoned in to her.

http://img402.imageshack.us/img402/3024/btechnicos.jpg

Technicos

 

 

http://img682.imageshack.us/img682/3764/devilfish.jpg

Devilfish

A former marine biologist, Devilfish was involved in a horrible accident when he fell into a salmon hatchery while working in Japan. Unbeknownst to him, the water had been secretly contaminated with toxic waste from a local Nintendo factory. With Nintendo's toxic waste and the genetic material of a hatchery full of salmon, Devilfish found himself forever transformed. Unable to rejoin normal society, he began a quest to become the greatest wrestling fish alive (which, given the average lifespan of man/fish hybrids, should probably happen by default eventually).

 

http://img46.imageshack.us/img46/5526/lonesharkr.jpg

Lone Shark

Formerly a member of a notorious New Zealand gang, Lone Shark found that he had accidentally run afoul of a prominent Maori Gangster whose wife had been taken in by one of his pyramid schemes. With a known executioner wanting his head, Lone Shark went deep undercover, pretending to be a wrestling immigrant to Mexico. After a few months living his cover story, Lone Shark realized he actually really liked being a luchadore, and when he returned to New Zealand, he abandoned his criminal ambitions.

 

http://img641.imageshack.us/img641/1858/manowar.jpg

Man O' War

When Man O' War was six years old, he was at the movies with his parents when a mad man opened fire, killing them, two other moviegoers, and then himself. Hypnosis helped erase his memory, but as an adult, he yearned to relearn about his childhood. Once the memories were brought out in hypnosis, however, Man O' War broke down and became incredibly violent. The only way for the hypnotist to avoid his rage was to convince Man O' War he was something other than a man. He looked around and saw a picture of a man-of-war on a calender. It stabilized the patient, and he has been blissfully unaware he is actually a human with a dark past ever since.

http://img251.imageshack.us/img251/7779/shaolin.jpg

Shaolin

When Shaolin was a boy, his parents, as was custom in his village, abandoned him in the wilderness. He survived by making friends with the local animal community. When Japanese wrestling promoters came to recruit a wrestling bear, the bear refused to come unless Shaolin was hired as well. The two worked Japan as a tag team until the bear's unfortunate death in 2008. Seeking a fresh start, Shaolin traveled to Australia, joining the ZEN dojo and training himself to be a singles competitor.

 

http://img513.imageshack.us/img513/5642/vertigom.jpg

Vertigo

When he was ten, Vertigo and his father became trapped in an elevator during Take Your Child To Work day. They were not discovered for four days. During that time, Vertigo and his father kept their sanity by retelling their memories of classic wrestling matches. While Vertigo eventually was rescued, his father died of starvation. Dedicating his career to his father, Vertigo donned a mask with a picture he drew of the elevator in which his father spent his last moments; hoping that, somewhere, his father can watch him now.

 

http://img251.imageshack.us/img251/2503/superzero.jpg

Super Zero

Super Zero is one of the most mysterious wrestlers on the ZEN roster. He doesn't talk about himself, his likes or dislikes, or anything at all really. No one is sure what his story is. In fact, there is some doubt as to whether he is actually there at all.

 

http://img251.imageshack.us/img251/3113/xcalibre.jpg

X-Calibre

One of the original members of the ZEN dojo, X-Calibre is a young, exciting talent who has patterned himself after trainer, and mentor, Man O' War. When War becomes unstable and violent, it's X-Calibre who helps to calm him down, and the two are close friends. Not even Man O' War, however, knows why he put watermelon on his mask.

 

http://img641.imageshack.us/img641/5656/quicksilver.jpg

Quick Silver

While watching lucha libre as a teenager, Quick Silver was eating some fresh popcorn, blissfully unaware that he was consuming large amounts of mercury from imported cookware. The poisoning slowly drove him mad, and the more lucha he watched, and the more popcorn he ate, the more detached from reality he became. During a family vacation to Australia, Quick Silver disappeared, only surfacing years later, removed entirely from his normal life and now completely engrossed in the lucha libre lifestyle.

 

http://img11.imageshack.us/img11/7486/nightmareslasher.jpg

Nightmare Slasher

One half of a brother tag team with his brother, Nightmare Stalker, Slasher became interested in wrestling after seeing a rap act put on a wrestling show that drew some really hot chicks to the show. Attempting to find out if the rumor that goth chicks give great head has any truth to it, Nightmare Slasher became a professional wrestler.

http://img168.imageshack.us/img168/7611/nightmarestalker.jpg

Nightmare Stalker

When Nightmare Slasher told his brother, Nightmare Stalker, that he wanted to be a professional wrestler, Stalker was apprehensive. He wanted to make sure it was safe, so he made his brother promise that they would get trained and do it together. When learning the craft, Stalker discovered a love for wrestling he never knew he had. Now a serious competitor, Stalker often criticizes his brother for his lack of focus and his stupid haircut whenever the team loses.

 

http://img192.imageshack.us/img192/9575/brudos.jpg

Rudos

 

http://img7.imageshack.us/img7/6896/halloweenknight.jpg

Halloween Knight

A longtime mainstray of Australian independents, Halloween Knight is a well known and well respected luchadore who is notable on the Australian scene. Despite being mostly notable based on his mask and long tenure as an enhancement talent for the big boys, Knight is one of the most popular wrestlers in ZEN. Rumors that as the owner he deliberately avoids hiring anyone more popular are completely unfounded.

 

http://img11.imageshack.us/img11/6766/necromancero.jpg

Necromancer

Necromancer is a corrupt Buddhist monk who spent the great part of his life studying ways to ascend to a higher form of existence. Once he found it, however, those on a higher astral plain detected his corruption and evil nature, and sent him back. He has retained much of his abilities, however, and can transfer those powers to others should he feel the desire to share his dark powers.

 

http://img24.imageshack.us/img24/9899/eraserv.jpg

Eraser

The Eraser left Australia to follow the American Dream. A scientist, Eraser was recruited to work on top secret programs at The Pentagon. Eventually, he was recruited as a test subject without realizing it. Fitted with cybernetic enhancements, he was turned into the ultimate weapon by the US Government, faster and stronger than any before. However, he rebelled, rejecting his new purpose. With government agents on the run, he went to the most remote location he could find: a small gym in New Zealand. Bitter and alone, he now offers his services as a mercenary.

 

http://img687.imageshack.us/img687/3594/cyanides.jpg

Cyanide

Acting as a gardener for Australia Professional Wrestling, a wrestler known as Arsenic used his position to subtly poison several midcard wrestlers while he worked as an opener. His rise up the ranks continued until his secret was discovered, whereupon he was suspended, docked pay, fired, charged with murder, and told that he was a great disappointment. He disappeared underground in 2006. It's an interesting story, to be sure. No one is quite sure what it has to do with Cyanide, though, as the three year veteran seems like a perfect gentlemen behind that mask of his.

 

http://img704.imageshack.us/img704/6639/massacre.jpg

Massacre

Massacre was a highly touted wrestling prospect in Samoa, with a lot of talk about when he would make his big league debut in the United States. Personally, though, Massacre was unhappy with his large size, as he was unable to find love. He had gastric bypass surgery, losing over 300 pounds. However, he soon found that he had made a mistake, as promotions lost interest in a Samoan who wasn't a big man, and without celebrity status he was just another guy and still didn't get laid. Swearing revenge, he signed the first contract offered to him and vowed to make the world pay for what it had done to him.

 

http://img641.imageshack.us/img641/2876/jester.jpg

Jester

The Jester is a former psychologist with an intimate understanding of the human mind. Tragically, his career ended when he was forced to convince a man he was not human in order to remove his tendency towards violence. Unable to cope with what he had done, Jester resigned from the medical board, became homeless, and began abusing drugs. While living on the streets, however, he realized that he had likely saved the man from having to be human. Humanity, he observed, was not something even worth being. Now, Jester tries to free others from the burdens of being human by playing twisted mind games on his victims.

 

http://img189.imageshack.us/img189/8875/bile.jpg

Bile

Bile spent much of his adult life as the ultimate business lawyer. Jetsetting around the world, he had a lovely wife and children back at home that he spent his entire life looking after. His mistake, though, was doing it from afar. His wife, lonely, ordered a rotisserie oven from the television one day, but forgot that she had cooked something in it when she went on a large bender. A few days later, the toxic mold created by the decomposing chicken killed both her and her children. Bile went insane when he was informed of this, and was sent to prison, only being released because of the previously successful Job Squad work release program that had rehabilitated several members of the DIW roster.

 

http://img402.imageshack.us/img402/9071/theanarchist.jpg

The Anarchist

Before joining the ZEN roster, The Anarchist was a successful rap musician, blending a gothic image with foul language and juvenile humor to the delight of teenagers everywhere. The Anarchist liked to snort his money as fast as he could make it, though, and eventually ended up in debt to some powerful figures. They directed him to wrestle in ZEN, and that when he could pay back his debt, they would let him know.

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D-Lyrium

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Congrats, good sir. That was quite brilliant. There's more character in your bios than I could put in years worth of shows, and they're all brilliant and fresh ('fresh' seems an odd word to use for a game that was released so recently, but I've become so familiar over the past few months with the ZEN roster that it's good to have another angle on these guys).

 

Also, only in ZEN would paying your boss $200 of his own money make him happy. ¬_¬

 

Also also, I just noticed the username. Now I *know* this will be awesome. :p

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EWBSDM Newbie

EWBSDM

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...well, my locker room DOES tend to get slightly worse with every show.

 

ZEN: WAY OF THE WARRIOR, CHAPTER ONE AND TWO

 

http://img704.imageshack.us/img704/6348/bwow.jpg

 

Normally, in this space, we would announce the booked card, discuss the ongoing fueds, and then show off a flashy banner made for the show's main event. However, since these will be the first cards in the history of our promotion, we really don't have any feuds, nor do we really know what to main event with since no one has really stood out in all of our non-appearances so far. I don't know what is this how did this get here.

 

The show will be the start of a tournament! This tournament has no prize; the only prize is honor. Also, we may have made vague insinuations about money. But that money was hypothetical.

 

Night One

 

http://img42.imageshack.us/img42/5711/bwow1.jpg

http://img132.imageshack.us/img132/4651/bwow2.jpg

http://img193.imageshack.us/img193/2381/bwow3.jpg

http://img109.imageshack.us/img109/3339/bwow4.jpg

 

Night Two

 

http://img25.imageshack.us/img25/6792/bwow5.jpg

http://img402.imageshack.us/img402/6740/bwow6.jpg

http://img98.imageshack.us/img98/5281/bwow7.jpg

http://img51.imageshack.us/img51/5683/bwow8.jpg

 

There will also be other stuff presumably! We don't think it's even possible to run an hour long show on only four matches. If it is, we certainly don't want to chance it with this lot.

 

Tickets are $2 in advance or three for $5. $3 a seat at the gate. For tickets, go to our homepage.

 

See you at the show,

Molly Cuddle

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D-Lyrium

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Loving the PWG-style preview.

 

Devilfish over Eraser, just because he's Devilfish and I've got nothing much else to go on at this point.

 

Man o' War over Cyanide. Bit risky if it's a bracketed tournament, but hell... MOW is the cooler character at this point, and would be even cooler if his theme was 'Manowar' by Manowar.

 

Massacre over Lone Shark, because your bio for him makes him far better than he was in my head previously, and we can't have ALL the main tecnicos in the next round.

 

Necromancer over Quick Silver, since it's about time a rudo won, and Necro is the most likely so far.

 

Halloween Knight over Vertigo, because he's Halloween Knight.

 

Super Zero over Bile, because Bile winning means he has to wrestle again sometime. Nobody wants that. If he loses, there's always the hope that he'll go away.

 

The Anarchist over X-Calibre, 'cause we still need more heels through, and I'd much rather it was Anarchist than Bile and I want Shaolin in.

 

Shaolin over Jester, because I'm going to predict the Conceptual Champion in every match until a particular spot happens.

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EWBSDM

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Shaolin over Jester, because I'm going to predict the Conceptual Champion in every match until a particular spot happens.

 

I should note that certain things in the ZEN data in game haven't happened yet in my ZEN diary. There are no titles yet. That's why the bios don't mention titles and there is no listing of any title holders in my introductory information pages.

 

Also, since I'm here, you missed a match. >_>

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D-Lyrium

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I should note that certain things in the ZEN data in game haven't happened yet in my ZEN diary. There are no titles yet. That's why the bios don't mention titles and there is no listing of any title holders in my introductory information pages.

 

Also, since I'm here, you missed a match. >_>

 

That image didn't load last time. ¬_¬ Added it.

 

As for the titles... whoops. Forgot you said you'd retconned stuff. Oh well.

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WAY OF THE WARRIOR, NIGHT ONE

http://img704.imageshack.us/img704/6348/bwow.jpg

Live From The Bendis Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Academy, Hamilton, New Zealand

http://img24.imageshack.us/img24/8581/zengarden.jpg

A Capacity Crowd Of 46 Fans

 

Molly Cuddle welcomes everyone to the building and informs them of the location of the emergency exits in the event of decompression.

 

http://img402.imageshack.us/img402/9071/theanarchist.jpghttp://img714.imageshack.us/img714/7577/miseryf.jpghttp://img20.imageshack.us/img20/3651/anguishv.jpg

 

Anarchists' Music plays from speakers hanging on the wall, which signals the arrival of Anarchist and The Painted Clown Party, his rap group. Anarchist gets in the ring, followed by his cronies, and is handed a microphone.

 

“West Side! Yeah, you heard me. Representing Adelaide up in this house! Any True Blooded Clowns in this house?” Anarchist holds out the microphone and gets dead silence. “Alright then! I shouldn't be surprised a bunch of uncultured Kiwis such as yourselves wouldn't know that it means to go to Clown Town! We're just going to have to show you then. Why don't you send out three of your best to challenge us, and we will show them what it means to be a True Blooded Clown!”

 

A strong, bouncing bassline plays over the dangling speakers, signaling that X-Calibre is going to be making his way to the ring. Sure enough, he does... man, how boring would it be if he turned his music on and then realized his shoes were untied, and didn't make it to the ring until the song was over? Talk about a heat vacuum! Not that X-Calibre himself isn't enough of a heat vacuum himself. In any case, once he gets in the ring, Anarchist sizes him up and shakes his head.

 

“Hey... kid. How good is your math?”

 

He holds the microphone out and X-Calbire tilts his head to the side, considering.

 

“Are we... talking like, fractions, or quadratic equations?”

 

Anarchist frowns. “I'm just talking about simple counting. You see, there's only one of you, and there's three of us.”

 

X-Calibre steps back and stands up stiff. “I am not afraid of nothing.”

 

Anarchist lowers his head and shakes it back and forth sadly. “Well, isn't that special. Awful at math and horrible with your grammar as well. You must make your mother very sad. I'm not inclined to reject your bravado though, so if a three against one mauling is what you're looking for, then I will see to it that is what you get...”

 

With that, all three heels lunge at X-Calibre and begin pummeling him into the mat. The crowd booed until the sound system began playing elevator music, which could only mean that Vertigo was coming to the ring. Vertigo sure enough came through the curtain, dragging along a seemingly reluctant Super Zero to come help. When Vertigo slid into the ring to even up the odds and Super Zero unenthusiastically took a place on the outside of the ring in one corner, the referee called for the bell, starting ZEN's very first contest.

 

http://img52.imageshack.us/img52/4966/sxcalibre.jpghttp://img534.imageshack.us/img534/1522/svertigo.jpghttp://img52.imageshack.us/img52/4510/ssuperzero.jpg X-Calibre, Vertigo, And Super Zero VS Painted Clown Party http://img213.imageshack.us/img213/7803/stheanarchist.jpghttp://img407.imageshack.us/img407/9382/smisery.jpghttp://img697.imageshack.us/img697/556/sanguish.jpg

 

The action starts off fast and furious with six men in the ring and Super Zero standing apathetically on the outside. Stephen Yale tries to organize chaos but he is facing the wrong direction and arguing with Super Zero, who just shrugs. Eventually he turns around and directs people to appropriate corners until only X-Calibre and Anarchist are in the ring.

 

Anarchist is able to keep the pace slow by brawling with X, where he has the clear advantage. Whenever X starts to get momentum and work his way towards a comeback, Anguish and Misery stop him short by working in some cheap shots. X-Calibre looks to be in big trouble as Anarchist lifts him for a powerbomb, but X turns the tables and spikes Anarchist down with a hurricanrana. With Anarchist down, X-Calibre makes the hot tag to Super Zero.

 

Zero enters the ring and the heels give him space. Instead of attacking, Super Zero immediately turns and tags in Vertigo, then steps outside the ropes. Vertigo argues with Super Zero while, behind his back, Anarchist and Misery switch places. Misery then attacks Vertigo from behind, giving the heels the advantage once again.

 

Misery and Vertigo match up pretty evenly, with Misery holding the advantage by using heel tactics such as eye pokes in order to turn the tide. Misery eventually tags out to Anguish, who lines up Vertigo for a Choke Slam. When he lifts Vertigo, though, Vertigo turns the tables by kicking him in the cut, then dropping him with an Implant DDT.

 

Vertigo then tags out to Super Zero. Zero, shrugging, then climbs to the top rope and jumps up, twisting 0 degrees, and then dropping a leg drop on the downed Misery. As he covers, his teammates hit the ring, but so do the faces, and in the resulting chaos the three count is made, and the technico team prevails!

 

http://img52.imageshack.us/img52/4966/sxcalibre.jpghttp://img534.imageshack.us/img534/1522/svertigo.jpghttp://img52.imageshack.us/img52/4510/ssuperzero.jpg X-Calibre, Vertigo, And Super Zero Defeat PCP (E+)

 

The PCP consider getting payback, but X-Calibre standing on the second rope and inviting them in makes them reconsider, and they head to the back without incident.

 

Coming out of a small break, some

plays over the loudspeakers, and Devilfish makes his way to the ring to a small chorus of applause. The heavy electric guitar that plays next can only really belong to one person, and sure enough, Eraser makes his way to the ring to a scattering of boos. As he gets in, the two wrestlers begin circling, and the bell is rung.

 

http://img192.imageshack.us/img192/3504/sdevilfish.jpg Devilfish VS Eraser http://img27.imageshack.us/img27/3881/seraser.jpg

 

The two men lockup to start, and they exchange wristlock counters leading to an Eraser arm drag. Devilfish pops back up and hits an arm drag of his own. The two then go shot for shot with arm drags until Eraser, disoriented after the series of flips he had taken, arm drags Yale down and then boasts over him. When he realizes he arm dragged the wrong man, he turns, only to take a big dropkick from Devilfish. Eraser then bails.

 

Fish follows him outside, and attacks with a flipping senton from the apron. Eraser dodges though and Devilfish crashes into the floor. Eraser then rolls Fish inside, and covers. The ref is still getting to his feet though, so Eraser picks up Devilfish and applies an abdominal stretch, trying to bend out the back and further exacerbate the injury.

 

Devilfish is able to gut it out, though, and eventually hip tosses Eraser over. Eraser tries to go back to focusing on the back but Devilfish is smart about dodging his strikes. Eraser eventually decides to hop up and attempt some kind of floating bow and arrow while hanging from Devilfish's shoulders, but Fish backs up and rams Eraser into the turnbuckle, repositions him, and then drops him in the middle of the ring with a Burning Hammer. The cover and count is more or less academic.

 

http://img192.imageshack.us/img192/3504/sdevilfish.jpg Devilfish Defeats Eraser (E-)

 

Devilfish relishes his win as Eraser sulks his way backstage. Devilfish then poses for one last small pop and makes his way backstage as well.

 

The sound system comes alive with the sounds of solemn war music, which means that Man O' War is making his way to the ring. He comes out, saluting the fans who are there, and then slides into the ring. As he gets settled in, mambo music plays over the soundsystem, and Cyanide shuffles his way to the ring. When he's done dancing, Man O' War looks at him, shrugs, then charges.

 

http://img29.imageshack.us/img29/5291/smanowar.jpg Man O' War VS Cyanide http://img194.imageshack.us/img194/8960/scyanide.jpg

 

Man O' War takes the early advantage by way of aggressiveness, landing a fury of blows that backs Cyanide into the corner. A Man O' War splash misses, but Cyanide also rams into the same turnbuckle when he tries a splash of his own. Man O' War then whips Cyanide and hits him with a big spinebuster. Man O' then mounts and continues to press his advantage with vicious strikes.

 

Cyanide, being outworked the entire match, eventually bails outside. Man O' War follows though and they continue to scrap, with War still holding the upper hand. With nothing going right, Cyanide slides back in, and War follows. When War runs to attack, though, Cyanide drops him with a drop toe hold. Eager to capitalize on his first offensive move of the match, Cyanide quickly bars the leg and locks his elbow across the face of Man O' War in a version of the STF submission.

 

When Cyanide breaks the hold though, Man O' War doesn't move, instead slumping to the mat. Cyanide is quick to follow up, and turns Man O' War over, pinning his shoulders to the mat. The crowd is stunned as Cyanide is proclaimed the victor, coming out of nowhere to steal the match.

 

http://img194.imageshack.us/img194/8960/scyanide.jpg Cyanide Defeats Man O' War (D-)

 

Cyanide looks quite pleased (as much as he can with a mask covering his face) as he makes his way to the back. Man O' War, still unmoving, needs some help to the back, and Molly Cuddle and X-Calibre help drag his unconscious form to the backstage area.

 

playing signals the arrival of Halloween Knight, despite his not being advertised for the show. When you own the promotion though I suppose you can do whatever you want. He gets in the ring and stretches his shoulders before grabbing a microphone.

 

"I know I am not scheduled to wrestle tonight," he says, thus negating a lot of my previous paragraph, "but I thought that it might be wise to have a little tune up... afterall, I'm scheduled to join the tournament tomorrow night, so I figure someone else who has the night off might want to get some of the rust off as well. So, if there is anyone in the back who wants a shot at me, come out now!"

 

The dark atmosphere that comes from the soundsystem could only really belong to Shaolin. He makes his way to the ring, then bows to Halloween Knight without words, as Yale rings the bell.

 

http://img69.imageshack.us/img69/1886/shalloweenknight.jpg Halloween Knight VS Shaolin http://img535.imageshack.us/img535/8697/sshaolin.jpg

 

Halloween Knight seems hesitant to close the distance with Shaolin, who fires off a kick every time Knight closes to striking distance, with Knight backing out of the way quickly each time. Eventually Knight isn't fast enough and the tip of a kick catches his ribs, then Shoalin strikes, launching a series of rapid fire kicks to the thighs and abs that has Halloween knight backpeddling into the corner. When Shaolin runs in for a splash, though, Knight elevates him and sends him flying out of the ring.

 

Knight drops from the ring as well and begins to lay into Shaolin on the outside. Winded from the fall Shaolin doesn't offer much resistance. When Knight slides his man back in, though, Shaolin gets a second wind, and starts launching furious kicks to the ribs again. Wounded, Knight tries to cover up, but to little avail. Eventually he does manage to catch a kick, though, and lands a dragon screw, taking Shaolin down.

 

With the momentum turned, Knight goes to the outside and grabs a chair. He slides back in and smashes it over the head of Shaolin. It should be a blatant disqualification but the referee didn't see it! Knight then jumps, puts the chair underneath him, and drops the leg down on top of it, with it on top of Shaolin, to put ZEN's resident ninja away.

 

http://img69.imageshack.us/img69/1886/shalloweenknight.jpg Halloween Knight Defeats Shaolin (D)

 

Halloween Knight then dances to entertain the fans as a brief intermission begins. Once Knight leaves the ring, a clown comes down and gets in the ring, entertaining the audience by making balloon animals.

 

The waltz that heralds the arrival of Lone Shark plays, and the gangster turned luchadore makes his way to the ring, posing for the fans. The heavy metal that then plays to herald the arrival of Massacre is as menacing as he is. He gets in the ring, towering over the smaller Shark, and the bell rings.

 

http://img535.imageshack.us/img535/3050/sloneshark.jpg Lone Shark VS Massacre http://img688.imageshack.us/img688/2171/smassacre.jpg

 

A size mismatch to be sure, Lone Shark tries to keep things moving with springboards and dropkicks, but Massacre shrugs off most of his offense. Eventually, Shark gets caught trying a crossbody, and thrown over the top rope with a big release Samoan Drop.

 

Massacre follows (slowly) outside, and the two brawl, which doesn't end well for Shark. He eventually gets whipped back first into the ring. Massacre then backs up, intending to squash Shark against the ring with a running splash. Shark though dodges and Massacre goes sternum first into the apron. Shark then jumps up to the apron and lays Massacre out with a moonsault.

 

As both men get back in, Shark has the advantage. Massacre grabs Shark and whips him to the opposite ropes, but Shark is able to spring up and flip backwards, catching Massacre halfway through and laying him out with a reverse DDT. Massacre, having been spiked directly on his braincase, is unable to kick out before the count of three is made.

 

http://img535.imageshack.us/img535/3050/sloneshark.jpg Lone Shark Defeats Massacre (D-)

 

Shark then makes his way to the back, quite satisfied. Before Massacre can leave,

plays, and Necromancer makes his way in advance of his match. As the two pass, Necromancer turns his back on Massacre and won't face him, waiting until Massacre, dejected, walks to the back with his head towards the ground.
then plays to announce the ring arrival of Quicksilver, the insane luchadore. He flips over the top rope into the ring and Necromancer, nonchalantly, beheads him with a clotheline as he lands.

 

http://img638.imageshack.us/img638/1298/squicksilver.jpg QuickSilver VS Necromancer http://img208.imageshack.us/img208/6626/snecromancer.jpg

 

With Quicksilver down, Necromancer wastes no time before laying the boots to him. He drags him up and then lifts him up, dropping him with a devastating brainbuster. He then pulls him up and then falls back, locking in a guillotine choke. QuickSilver taps within seconds, unable to free himself from the hold and on the verge of death.

 

http://img208.imageshack.us/img208/6626/snecromancer.jpg Necromancer Defeats QuickSilver (E)

 

Necromancer poses over his foe, after having completely dominated him. He holds out his hand and is handed a microphone by Molly Cuddle.

 

"Tonight, the reign of darkness in ZEN begins," he said. "Tomorrow, it will continue. I am challenging three of the bravest ZEN warriors to team together to face me, and a team of my selected proteges. Together, my dark trio will overcome any that can be drafted from the remaining stable of warriors, and I will prove then, as I proved tonight, that there is no power capable of stopping me."

 

Necromancer's

then played as he posed to close the show.

 

Quick Results, Way Of The Warrior Night One:

 

X-Calibre, Vertigo, And Super Zero Defeat PCP (E+)

Devilfish Defeats Eraser (E-)

Cyanide Defeats Man O' War (D-)

Halloween Knight Defeats Shaolin (D)

Lone Shark Defeats Massacre (D-)

Necromancer Defeats QuickSilver (E)

 

Total Show Rating: E

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