Movie Tycoon 5

jack ryder · May 8, 2017

<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="Russelrules44" data-cite="Russelrules44" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="43564" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>Cheap is usually pretty good for a first project incase your wondering. UPDATE: Bars is going to be a little shorter than most of my other movies, and this time; i'm not including any quotes. I'm doing this because I want to have a breather from Colette.</div></blockquote> Sorry my bad wording was trying to say I got them in the game you modded. @flamesnoopy I think you missed post #146 where I renegotiated.

HRTVAndrew · May 8, 2017

<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="Kijar" data-cite="Kijar" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="43564" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>Terrific writing, Andrew, absolutely terrific.</div></blockquote> Much obliged! That means a lot. Got off a plane a little while ago and saw it did OK at the box office, too, and now I've got some money to spend, which could be VERY interesting.

Kijar · May 8, 2017

Kaged Cinema's next venture, a passion project of mine:

MOVIE DETAILS

› Title: Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde

› Genre: Thriller/Sci-Fi

› Brief Summary Of The Plot: A modernized adaptation of the 1886 novel by Robert Louis Stevenson, Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde (which is free of copyright). The story follows a London lawyer, Gabriel John Utterson, in an investigation of strange occurrences between his old friend Dr. Henry Jekyll and the mysteriously evil Edward Hyde.

› Rating: R

› Production Cost: Soon

› Marketing Cost: "

TALENT CASTING

› Director: It pains me to say that my original choice, Jonathan Demme, passed away just under two weeks ago. May he rest in peace. On top of that, Martin Scorsese would without a doubt be too expensive. We have five other capable minds in question, that surely could handle the task.

Offer to David Fincher, Frank Darabont, Dan Trachtenberg, Ernest R. Dickerson, Richard Kelly

› Lead Role:

Mr. Gabriel John Utterson

-A well respected lawyer of London, who finds himself genuinely curious with the parts of life that are disturbing and perhaps morbid. He is very dignified and reserved in nature, and also extremely rational. He is not a man of science, and always tends to search for reasonable explanations, causing him to deny the supernatural forces at play throughout the film.

Offer to Idris Elba, Jude Law, Colin Firth, Ewan McGregor

Dr. Henry Jekyll

-This doctor is also well respected, and well established in his community, due to many charitable acts and overall kindness. Despite this, he has participated in corrupt behavior privately since he was a young boy. This dark side to his personality is a part that he considers a burden, leading to many experiments that attempt to split his good and evil sides from each other.

Offer to James McAvoy, Tom Hiddleston, Ewan McGregor

Mr. Edward Hyde

-A violent, cruel, and strange man. All that know of him consider him ugly and deformed. This evil personification, a result of Dr. Jekyll's experimental attempts to split himself in two, is considered a different entity and person altogether throughout the film. A mysterious potion brings him to the world, and he does not have a full grasp of any language.

Offer to Ian Whyte, Kristofer Hivju, Kristian Nairn, Rory McCann, Stephen Farrelly (Sheamus)

› Major Role:

Dr. Hastie Lanyon

-Along with Utterson, Dr. Lanyon is an old friend of Dr. Jekyll. He is full of both rationalism and skepticism. He is a foil for Dr. Jekyll, as Lanyon has no intention to bring mysticism to light, and is a representation of materialism.

Offer to Daniel Day-Lewis, Gary Oldman, Charles Dance, Jonathan Pryce, Ian McElhinney, Ben Kingsley

› Minor Role:

Mr. Enfield

-A lifelong friend of Utterson who remains reserved in nature, and often joins his distant cousin for long walks, where they may not speak a word to each other, so as to be free of gossip.

Offer to Martin Freeman, Liam Cunningham, Stephen Fry, Iain Glen

Mr. Poole

-Poole is Dr. Jekyll's butler, and a very loyal servant to him for twenty years. He shows a deep concern for his master as the film progresses.

Offer to Robert Carlyle, Toby Jones, Jerome Flynn

Mr. Guest

-Guest is Utterson's clerk, meaning he maintains all records necessary for his boss, as well as administers oaths. He is seen by Utterson as a sort of confidant, and his expert skill in handwriting comes in handy during the film.

Offer to Mark Strong, Wentworth Miller, Aidan Gillen

› Cameo:

Sir Danvers Carew

-An older gentleman and client of Utterson, who is a member of the Parliament, and thought to be Mr. Hyde's first victim.

Offer to Sean Bean

HRTVAndrew · May 9, 2017

Tompkins Square Studios is proud to announce the start of its latest production! It's officially time for a sports movie.

MOVIE DETAILS

Title: The Hackers

Genre: Comedy

Brief Summary Of The Plot: Two working-class, blue-collar men who play golf at Ypsilanti Municipal (a run-down, public course in Michigan) are bequeathed memberships to the exclusive, prestigious Lake Erie Country Club when one's grandfather passes away. Their everyman stylings quickly make them plenty of enemies at the stuffy, upper-crust establishment, not in the least because a VERY important woman at the club seems to like them! Ultimately, the film climaxes with an 18-hole, 2-on-2 match for much more than money. It's a battle between the "everymen" and "the big men," played out on the links!

Rating: PG-13 (language, sexual situations)

Production Cost: TBD

Marketing Cost: TBD

TALENT CASTING

Director: Penny Marshall will be courted, which is only natural given her two prior successes for the studio. However, we're also sending out feelers to Todd Phillips and Kevin Smith.

Lead Role: Billy Sullivan

A construction foreman nearing the age of 40, Billy Sullivan took up golf as a kid to spend time with his father, who worked himself to the bone to support his family. Sullivan has no family of his own to speak of, and he lives with his mother to care for her in her golden years. An average-looking man without a care in the world outside of work and his mother, Billy golfs twice a week, mostly with longtime best friend Richie Erickson, and while he's no ace, he's far from bad, and he often makes extra money with off-the-wall bets on the course where he somehow ALWAYS has an advantage.

Of the duo, Billy is the guy who doesn't take anything too seriously, and he's often the guy stirring things up (on the course and off). He's probably going through a subconscious midlife crisis, and throughout the movie, he gains a better perspective on the man he wants to be. For this role, we're looking at Jack Black, Chris Pratt, Kevin James, and Jonah Hill.

Lead Role: Richie Erickson

It's interesting that Richie and Billy are best friends, because they couldn't be much more different. Richie is a clean-cut, handsome man with a wife and kids who earned a Division I golf scholarship out of high school. He played for four years and briefly tried to play on the pro tour, but a series of injuries, plus the onset of a family, forced Richie to go get a "real job." He made due, though, and is a prominent member of the local financial scene. He holds the course record at Ypsilanti Municipal (a six-under-par 64), plays to a scratch handicap, and has an aversion to the snobbish attitude that often permeates the game he loves.

For this role, we need much more of a standardized Hollywood leading man, but one with comic chops. As such, we're courting Ryan Reynolds, Ryan Gosling, known golfing aficionado Justin Timberlake, and Gerard Butler.

Major Role: Bradford Tillinghouse

Just his name alone sounds snooty, and Bradford Tillinghouse lives up to the billing. He's an older gentleman who has long been a prominent member at Lake Erie, and he puts the club's pristine, exclusive image above everything else in his life, including his long-suffering relationship with his daughter. He's long since retired from his job as the CEO of a regional supermarket chain, and with money not being an issue, flaunts his material possessions obnoxiously at every conceivable opportunity. He's a fair golfer, but one who cheats whenever possible, and many are afraid to call him out when he does.

Off of his successful turn in "The Reunion Tour," Bryan Cranston is one of our main targets. We're also looking at Christopher Walken and William Shatner for this role, one that could steal several scenes (think Judge Smails in "Caddyshack" with the volume maxed out).

Minor Role: Webb Johnson

Webb Johnson is the reigning senior club champion at Lake Erie, and a former acquaintance of Richie Erickson. It's believed that Erickson copied much of his game from Johnson when both were members at the defunct Wolverine Canyon Golf Club in Ann Arbor, but the two have not spoken in more than 15 years, and neither man is ready to say why. Johnson is a soft-spoken man who detests Tillinghouse, but is bribed/blackmailed into being his partner for the big 2-on-2 match near the end of the movie.

In an homage to "Caddyshack," we'd really like Chevy Chase to play this role. However, it's not a must, as we're also talking to Ray Liotta and Bob Odenkirk.

Minor Role: Amy Tillinghouse

Amy Tillinghouse is Bradford's estranged daughter. She long ago grew tired of his "money over all" shtick, and specifically went to college at Ohio State (the rival of Bradford's beloved Michigan) to stick it to her father. She landed a prime marketing job for a chain of stores in Columbus, but returned to Michigan after being laid off in a downsizing that occurred following a merger with the supermarket chain for which Bradford previously served as CEO. Humiliated, she accepts the role of "drink girl" at Lake Erie, serving as eye candy for the perverted older men who populate the club, and she is ecstatic when Billy and Richie show up to turn the place upside-down.

For this role, we're auditioning Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, Alexandra Daddario, Kat Dennings, and Amber Heard. Partial nudity is likely for this role, but we're willing to work with the actress we choose based on what she is/isn't willing to do.

Minor Role: Florence Sullivan

Florence Sullivan is Billy's live-in mother. She's pushing 70 and living out her days in the spare room of a modest house her son owns, and it's her father who passes away in his mid-90's and bequeaths the Lake Erie memberships to Billy and Richie. Billy provides for his mom, and in return, she provides biting snark (served with a side of love) at every turn. Billy is an only child, so she naturally pokes and prods about when he's getting married, when grandchildren are coming, and why he never brings a nice Irish Catholic girl home.

For this role, we're approaching Jane Lynch, Raquel Welch, and Jane Seymour.

FlameSnoopy · May 10, 2017

Standing Back (Studio: Hot Freezy Studio)

» Vinnie Jones would be fine with $300K.

» Judi Dench agrees to $500K.

» Matt Smith thinks your offer of $200K is too low.

» (for the role of the director) Mark Duplass asks for $1.4M. Taika Watiti asks for $2.7M.

» (for the role of Jean Healy) Olivia Newton-John asks for $120K. Penelope Wilton asks for $120K.

» (for the role of Dean Harthwick) Clive Standen asks for $570K. Tom Hopper asks for $620K. Ben Barnes asks for $3.2M.

» (for the role of Sarah Harthwick) Gemma Arterton asks for $1.0M. Olga Kurylenko asks for $1.3M. Talulah Riley asks for $480K. She also offers to direct the movie for an additional $320K (which in total would be $800K). Beth Phoenix has no interest in the movie.

OOC: I did indeed miss this, sorry about that. And no, there is no real life chemistry. It's all purely random.

--

You, My Blood (Studio: Finite Worlds Studios)

» Monica Belluci is fine with $425K now and $125K post-release.

» Mischa Barton agrees to your $450K offer.

» (for the role of the director) James Mangold asks for $4.5M.

--

Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde (Studio: Kaged Cinema)

» (for the role of the director) David Fincher asks for $4.5M. Frank Darabont asks for $3.3M. Dan Trachtenberg asks for $2.1M. Ernest R. Dickerson asks for $1.3M. Richard Kelly asks for $1.2M.

» (for the role of Gabriel Utterson) Idris Elba asks for $4.6M. Jude Law asks for $5.3M. Colin Firth asks for $5.7M. Ewan McGregor asks for $4.6M.

» (for the role of Henry Jekyll) James McAvoy asks for $6.6M. Tom Hiddleston asks for $5.1M. Ewan McGregor likes this role better. He asks for $4.3M.

» (for the role of Edward Hyde) Ian Whyte asks for $870K. Kristofer Hivju asks for $610K. Kristian Nairn asks for $510K. Rory McCann asks for $610K. Stephen Farrelly asks for $640K.

» (for the role of Hastie Lanyon) Daniel Day-Lewis asks for $2.4M. Gary Oldman asks for $1.8M. Charles Dance asks for $820K. Jonathan Pryce asks for $600K. Ian McElhinney asks for $370K. Ben Kingsley asks for $1.4M.

» (for the role of Mr. Enfield) Martin Freeman asks for $390K. Liam Cunningham asks for $160K. Stephen Fry asks for $234K. Iain Glen asks for $130K.

» (for the role of Mr. Poole) Robert Carlyle asks for $290K. Toby Jones asks for $140K. Jerome Flynn asks for $270K.

» (for the role of Mr. Guest) Mark Strong asks for $220K. Wentworth Miller asks for $130K. Aidan Gillen asks for $150K.

» (for the role of Danvers Carew) Sean Bean asks for $50K.

--

Hackers (Studio: Tompkins Square Studios)

» (for the role of the director) Penny Marshall asks for $900K. Todd Phillips asks for $2.6M. Kevin Smith asks for $3.7M.

» (for the role of Billy Sullivan) Jack Black asks for $4.8M. Chris Pratt asks for $5.4M. Kevin James feels like the role was made for him. He asks for $2.0M. Jonah Hill asks for $5.1M.

» (for the role of Richie Erickson) Ryan Reynolds asks for $3.9M. Ryan Gosling asks for $6.1M. Justin Timberlake asks for $4.5M. Gerard Butler asks for $4.1M.

» (for the role of Bradford Tillinghouse) Bryan Cranston asks for $700K. Christopher Walken asks for $2.2M. William Shatner asks for $1.1M.

» (for the role of Webb Johnson) Chevy Chase asks for $130K. Ray Liotta asks for $460K. Bob Odenkirk asks for $450K.

» (for the role of Amy Tillinghouse) Miley Cyrus asks for $470K + $100K for Partial Nudity. Selena Gomez asks for $490K + $100K for Partial Nudity. Alexandra Daddario asks for $420K, but doesn't want to do any nudity. Kat Dennings asks for $430K + $100K for Partial Nudity. Amber Heard asks for $590K + $100K for Partial Nudity.

» (for the role of Florence Sullivan) Jane Lynch asks for $300K. Raquel Welch asks for $370K. Jane Seymour asks for $100K.

Kijar · May 10, 2017

<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="FlameSnoopy" data-cite="FlameSnoopy" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="43564" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>--Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde (Studio: Kaged Cinema) » (for the role of the director) David Fincher asks for $4.5M. Frank Darabont asks for $3.3M. Dan Trachtenberg asks for $2.1M. Ernest R. Dickerson asks for $1.3M. Richard Kelly asks for $1.2M. » (for the role of Gabriel Utterson) Idris Elba asks for $4.6M. Jude Law asks for $5.3M. Colin Firth asks for $5.7M. Ewan McGregor asks for $4.6M. » (for the role of Henry Jekyll) James McAvoy asks for $6.6M. Tom Hiddleston asks for $5.1M. Ewan McGregor likes this role better. He asks for $4.3M. » (for the role of Edward Hyde) Ian Whyte asks for $870K. Kristofer Hivju asks for $610K. Kristian Nairn asks for $510K. Rory McCann asks for $610K. Stephen Farrelly asks for $640K. » (for the role of Hastie Lanyon) Daniel Day-Lewis asks for $2.4M. Gary Oldman asks for $1.8M. Charles Dance asks for $820K. Jonathan Pryce asks for $600K. Ian McElhinney asks for $370K. Ben Kingsley asks for $1.4M. » (for the role of Mr. Enfield) Martin Freeman asks for $390K. Liam Cunningham asks for $160K. Stephen Fry asks for $234K. Iain Glen asks for $130K. » (for the role of Mr. Poole) Robert Carlyle asks for $290K. Toby Jones asks for $140K. Jerome Flynn asks for $270K. » (for the role of Mr. Guest) Mark Strong asks for $220K. Wentworth Miller asks for $130K. Aidan Gillen asks for $150K. » (for the role of Danvers Carew) Sean Bean asks for $50K.</div></blockquote> Richard Kelly, deal. Idris Elba, deal. Ewan McGregor, deal for role of Dr. Jekyll. Kristofer Hivju, deal. Gary Oldman, deal. Stephen Fry, deal. Jerome Flynn, deal. Wentworth Miller, deal. Sean Bean, deal. Welcome to the cast! Rather cost efficient and leaves me with, I believe: 4,406,000, so I'm projecting: Production: 2,203,000 Marketing: 2,203,000

Valkyria · May 10, 2017

Would it be possible to add <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/G%C3%A9rard_Depardieu" rel="external nofollow">Gérard Depardieu</a>, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catherine_Deneuve" rel="external nofollow">Catherine Deneuve</a>, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dylan_Walsh" rel="external nofollow">Dylan Walsh</a> and <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Julian_McMahon" rel="external nofollow">Julian McMahon</a> to the List?

I am thinking about hiring them for some of my future Movies and would be interestes in which category of Starpower the would be.

FlameSnoopy · May 10, 2017

<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="Valkyria" data-cite="Valkyria" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="43564" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>Would it be possible to add <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/G%C3%A9rard_Depardieu" rel="external nofollow">Gérard Depardieu</a>, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catherine_Deneuve" rel="external nofollow">Catherine Deneuve</a>, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dylan_Walsh" rel="external nofollow">Dylan Walsh</a> and <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Julian_McMahon" rel="external nofollow">Julian McMahon</a> to the List? I am thinking about hiring them for some of my future Movies and would be interestes in which category of Starpower the would be.</div></blockquote> Sure, I added them all to the database.

jack ryder · May 10, 2017

Standing Back (Studio: Hot Freezy Studio)
» Vinnie Jones would be fine with $300K.
» Judi Dench agrees to $500K.
» Matt Smith thinks your offer of $200K is too low.
» (for the role of the director) Mark Duplass asks for $1.4M. Taika Watiti asks for $2.7M.
» (for the role of Jean Healy) Olivia Newton-John asks for $120K. Penelope Wilton asks for $120K.
» (for the role of Dean Harthwick) Clive Standen asks for $570K. Tom Hopper asks for $620K. Ben Barnes asks for $3.2M.
» (for the role of Sarah Harthwick) Gemma Arterton asks for $1.0M. Olga Kurylenko asks for $1.3M. Talulah Riley asks for $480K. She also offers to direct the movie for an additional $320K (which in total would be $800K). Beth Phoenix has no interest in the movie.

OOC: I did indeed miss this, sorry about that. And no, there is no real life chemistry. It's all purely random.

--

We will assume Tom Hiddlestone was not interested in our movie.

John Krasinski as Dean Harthwick and the director DEAL

Jenny Slate Deal

Judi Dench Deal

Vinnie Jones Deal

Matt Smith Deal

All the talent will cost us 5,240,000.

Marketing - 2.8M

Production - 1,960,000

jack ryder · May 10, 2017

Kudos to the guys writing here. All the stories are amazing. HRTV is on another level though.

With this I would like to showcase our film "Standing Back" motion poster.

We see Dean Harthwick running through his opposition in the field but suddenly he falls and cannot get up. He sees himself shrinking and the world moving forward without him suddenly a hands come forward and raises him up. The hand is of Joe Healy and takes him away from the field towards the manager line while moving their, His Football kit changes to suit. Black Screen.

STANDING BACK

Question to other's do you think Standing Back is a good title or too much on the nose?

Valkyria · May 10, 2017

Sure, I added them all to the database.

Thanks!

Some other People that are missing on the List are Liev Schreiber, Jon Voight, Famke Janssen, Kerris Dorsey, Brooke Shields, Laura Prepon, Robin Wright and the last one (to my own surprise) Christoph Waltz.

Russelrules44 · May 10, 2017

(Long diatribe ahead)

Ok, I need to address something very important that might change the direction of The Viper's Den. So, here goes.

There is a slight chance that I might be scrapping Bars. It's not official yet, but I've been having some thought about it.

The reason being is this, when I wrote Greenwater Amusements, Colette and back from the last game Madeline's Great Adventure; I had a certain excitement for writing it. I felt like I was having fun coming up with a story, playing around with characters and it looked like I was putting something that came from the heart.

I have not been getting that same feeling with Bars. I've tried to incorporate Sandler's humor and my humor into this movie, but it feels tacked on, sort of 'corporate'-like. That's not to say it's bad or anything, but it to me feels more like work than actually having fun with the movie, and that in general is what I wanted to do when I started playing these games. I want to have fun making movies.

On the other hand; I do not want to let Seth MacFarlane and Miranda Cosgrove down. I've granted Seth the opportunity to make his own movie here, and I don't want this chance of his to die out because I wasn't feeling it. And Miranda? God's sake, we're this close to finishing her contract. Why should I stop now?

At one point, I considered just rushing through it and seeing where it goes; but as you can tell from the reception of Aces and Eights, that wasn't exactly the best idea. So right now, i'm kind of in a bad position with this. It's not exactly dead yet, but it's not looking too good right now. If this does get canceled, I do have a backup plan, I would love to place a bid on The Crow to continue it's movie franchise. (I actually have a story idea all planned out)

We'll see, I'll do some more writing and if things seem all right, maybe i'll trudge through and finish it. Just don't expect the movie to be really good if I do.

jack ryder · May 10, 2017

(Long diatribe ahead)

Ok, I need to address something very important that might change the direction of The Viper's Den. So, here goes.

There is a slight chance that I might be scrapping Bars. It's not official yet, but I've been having some thought about it.

The reason being is this, when I wrote Greenwater Amusements, Colette and back from the last game Madeline's Great Adventure; I had a certain excitement for writing it. I felt like I was having fun coming up with a story, playing around with characters and it looked like I was putting something that came from the heart.

I have not been getting that same feeling with Bars. I've tried to incorporate Sandler's humor and my humor into this movie, but it feels tacked on, sort of 'corporate'-like. That's not to say it's bad or anything, but it to me feels more like work than actually having fun with the movie, and that in general is what I wanted to do when I started playing these games. I want to have fun making movies.

On the other hand; I do not want to let Seth MacFarlane and Miranda Cosgrove down. I've granted Seth the opportunity to make his own movie here, and I don't want this chance of his to die out because I wasn't feeling it. And Miranda? God's sake, we're this close to finishing her contract. Why should I stop now?

At one point, I considered just rushing through it and seeing where it goes; but as you can tell from the reception of Aces and Eights, that wasn't exactly the best idea. So right now, i'm kind of in a bad position with this. It's not exactly dead yet, but it's not looking too good right now. If this does get canceled, I do have a backup plan, I would love to place a bid on The Crow to continue it's movie franchise. (I actually have a story idea all planned out)

We'll see, I'll do some more writing and if things seem all right, maybe i'll trudge through and finish it. Just don't expect the movie to be really good if I do.

Everything will come through. Don't worry.

jack ryder · May 10, 2017

Thanks!

Some other People that are missing on the List

On the context of people missing on the list. The next movie I am planning will be mostly based in an another country so most of it's cast will be from that country's Industry. So I hope it will not be a problem.

Russelrules44 · May 10, 2017

Everything will come through. Don't worry.

I sure hope so, the last time I canceled a movie was back in around Movie Tycoon 1.

jack ryder · May 10, 2017

At least it's here. Definitely not up to your standards but something is better than nothing.

Standing Back

MOVIE DETAILS

Title: "Standing Back"

Genre: Sports/Drama

Duration: 1 hour, 42 minutes

Rating: PG

*A match between Birmingham F.C and Bristol F.C is being played in Birmingham's Stadium. Birmingham F.C had it's fans but for the past two seasons there fan support is incredibly high giving the stadium an electrifying atmosphere. This all happened because of the return of Dean Harthwick the home boy and his phenomenal display of talent for these two years. In this game also he brings back Birmingham from a loss by providing an assist and himself finding the net.

After the match he finds out that he will be named in the England squad, a dream he has been chasing for 12 years. He informs his hard working wife about the selection on the phone and plan for a small celebration for themselves.

Sarah receives a call from Hospital, Informing her that Dean was involved in an accident. A drunk truck driver rammed his truck into his car.

Dean awakes after two days but he cannot feel his lower body. Sarah sobbingly informs him that his vertebrae is broken and the doctors are not yet sure when you will be able to Stand Back. Dean get's heartbroken realizing he cannot play football and tries to fight his body to stand back but he fails and hurts himself.

Weeks after weeks passes away with not any significant improvement. Dean starts losing hope that whether he will ever be able to stand but Sarah sees Dean losing faith and decides she will not let him fail and quits her job as an attorney and commit herself fully towards his recovery and him. She finds an eccentric Doctor named Linda and shifts Dean in her custody.

After months Dean finds a ray of hope when he was able to stand for a few seconds. Dr. Linda promises Sarah, Dean will be able to walk and run in 18 months time.

While his recovery continues, his former mentor Joe Healy reaches out to him offering him a branch of Olive by giving him a chance to stay in the game he breathes. Joe offers Dean, Assistant Managership of the Club Houston F.C in MLS. The club Joe is managing. He tells them the current assistant manager contract is up after 12 months but Dean rejects his offer and sends him out thinking he is here to just rub on him, for their break up three years back when Dean decided to change his playing style and returned to Birmingham. Sarah sees Joe's offer as a chance to patch up things between them. She convinces Dean to apply for the job. So while his physical recovery continues with great improvement he clears his exam to work as an Assistant Manager.

Dean gets the job and the Harthwicks shifts to Houston, U.S.A. They live beside the Healys where Dean reunites with Joe Healy's mother Jean Healy who gives her a earful for not calling her.

On his first week on the job, Dean lock horns with Joe over a potential transfer. Dean wants to bring in Liam Smooth a US citizen playing in some Australian Club as a Forward, Where as Joe believes they have a great striker in Roderick Snow an English citizen and want's to bring in a Brazilian Midfielder. After various arguments and debate Dean is successful in bringing in Liam Smooth and he thinks with Liam in the squad, Snow will be better in Mid-field too which the coaching staff agrees. This move doesn't sits well with Roderick Snow who thinks Dean is just jealous of him and starts a clique against him consisting of defender Tray Jazz, Goal-Keeper James Folder and the charismatic mid-fielder cum wannabe rapper Jay Wong.

Liam's arrival is not well received because of Roderick and his Gang. Dean sees this resentment and plans to dissuade this resentment.

The season begans and the Houston F.C has a start worse than it's past years by losing three straight games. Liam Smooth was a shining star in all the matches but he was mostly left alone by his team in the matches. The critics abhorred the lack of chemistry. While Joe Healy faced the flak of the board and was given an ultimatum. He was being blind to the lack of chemistry and blamed they aren't practicing well and executing the plans well enough.But Dean sees the resentment towards him and his plans, hatch a plan. He took out each day a different member of the clique to spend some personal time.

His first target was Tray Jazz. He took Tray to a public cooking class where he comes clean about what his plans are and what he is trying to achieve with the club. He put his heart out which Jazz saw and told they are acting out because of Snow who sees Dean as a competitor. The next day he spend his time with James Folder in a Dance Club where the same story repeated. The last one he took out was Jay Wong they both participated in a Karaoke Party where the same beats repeated. Dean gathered the information and come to the conclusion Roderick Snow has a beef with him for no reason. He wanted to clear the air between them.

Joe was way tensed when the next match began but after a very close fight they came through and registered their first win. Everybody saw that they were a bit more passes towards Liam but still a reluctance was present.

Joe boasted and took all the credit for the win.

Joe was under the impression his new hard training regime was the reason for their success and started putting more player onto it. While Dean thinking was Chemistry is important for the team to win and hence started to build his way inside the team.

After some more matches and all of them finishing with close wins. The team resentment towards Dean and Liam was mostly finished but Roderick could not take it and he challenged Dean in training which Dean accepted after some reluctance. Dean had a tough start but after some time he was running through him but when he almost got better of him Dean felt a lot of pain in his back and fell down and fainted. When he waked up he was in the hospital where Sarah was fuming over him to do something so risky. Sarah and Dean shares a very emotional moment in the hospital room and they both contemplated their future lying side by side in the bed.

When Dean comes back after his medical leave he sees that the clique has broken but Snows hatred only rose. With mostly everything on their side Houston F.C went on a wild run, thumping their opposition each match. The only thorn in their side was Roderick Snow who couldn't give a good performance with so much in his head. The teams management decided to give Snow an ultimatum saying he will be dropped as their captain if he doesn't improves his performance. Joe appoints Dean to relay this ultimatum.

Jean Healy organizes a party to celebrate their team success at her house where all the team members are present except for Snow. Sarah makes a toast to everyone. Joe tells everybody that they have a chance to go in the Major Series if they win their last three games. Everybody is enjoying the party when Sarah notices Joe's absence and tries to find him. They found him lying inside his bedroom with blood spurting out of his mouth. Joe is taken to the hospital.

The team and family are informed by Dr.Smith that Joe is suffering from Stage 3 cancer. Everybody is shattered by this news. Dean in the start is very taken aback but he finds his senses and drives to meet Snow. Where he confronts him. In a very emotionally driven speech Dean reveals the fall out between him and Joe years ago. He reveals he wanted Snow to play in the mid-field so he has a chance to represent their country England a dream of Dean which never came true and he leaves.

In the next matches, Dean is made the acting manager in absence of Joe and Snow embodies his role as the Box-to-Box mid-fielder and becomes a force to be reckon with. They top their league table and moved towards the Series.

Dean comes to discharge Joe from hospital where Joe reveals that he saw Dean in Roderick and hence supported him, He said he knew he can be a better player by changing his position but he cannot do it by himself and hence he brought Dean in. He congratulated him on his success and they met with Dr.Smith to facilitate the discharge where we see Dr.James hitting on Dr.Smith in full Barney Stinson style.

The End.

Talent

Dean Harthwick - John Krasinski

Joe Healy - Vinnie Jones

Sarah Harthwick - Jenny Slate

Roderick Snow - Matt Smith

Jean Healy - Judi Dench

Liam Smooth - Brandon Mychal Smith

Tray Jazz - Trevor Jackson

Jay Wong - Ki Hong Lee

James Folder - Ryan Guzman

Dr.Linda - Katherine Heigl

Dr.Smith - Patrick Dempsay

Dr.James - NPH

Director - John Krasinski

BUDGET

Talent Cost: 5,240,000

Marketing - 2.8M

Production - 1,960,000.

Hope I don't miss anything.

HRTVAndrew · May 10, 2017

Hackers (Studio: Tompkins Square Studios)
» (for the role of the director) Penny Marshall asks for $900K. Todd Phillips asks for $2.6M. Kevin Smith asks for $3.7M.
» (for the role of Billy Sullivan) Jack Black asks for $4.8M. Chris Pratt asks for $5.4M. Kevin James feels like the role was made for him. He asks for $2.0M. Jonah Hill asks for $5.1M.
» (for the role of Richie Erickson) Ryan Reynolds asks for $3.9M. Ryan Gosling asks for $6.1M. Justin Timberlake asks for $4.5M. Gerard Butler asks for $4.1M.
» (for the role of Bradford Tillinghouse) Bryan Cranston asks for $700K. Christopher Walken asks for $2.2M. William Shatner asks for $1.1M.
» (for the role of Webb Johnson) Chevy Chase asks for $130K. Ray Liotta asks for $460K. Bob Odenkirk asks for $450K.
» (for the role of Amy Tillinghouse) Miley Cyrus asks for $470K + $100K for Partial Nudity. Selena Gomez asks for $490K + $100K for Partial Nudity. Alexandra Daddario asks for $420K, but doesn't want to do any nudity. Kat Dennings asks for $430K + $100K for Partial Nudity. Amber Heard asks for $590K + $100K for Partial Nudity.
» (for the role of Florence Sullivan) Jane Lynch asks for $300K. Raquel Welch asks for $370K. Jane Seymour asks for $100K.

Tompkins Square Studios is pleased to announce the following hirings!

- Why fix something if it's not broken? Penny Marshall has been hired to direct "The Hackers" for $900,000.

- Kevin James is hired, and will be paid $2 million for the role of Billy Sullivan.

- Ryan Reynolds is hired, and will be paid $3.9 million for the role of Richie Erickson.

- William Shatner is hired, and will be paid $1.1 million for the role of Bradford Tillinghouse.

- Chevy Chase is hired, and will be paid $130,000 for the role of Webb Johnson.

- Selena Gomez is hired, and will be paid a total of $590,000 for the role of Amy Tillinghouse ($490,000 for the role, $100,000 for partial nudity).

- Raquel Welch is hired, and will be paid a total of $370,000 for the role of Florence Sullivan.

This brings the total cast budget to $8,990,000. We will spend $1,510,000 on production (the extra $10k to make sure everyone's golf swings are up to snuff!), and $2 million on marketing, bringing the film's total cost to $12.5 million. Production starts immediately.

NOTE: There's a chance this goes online tonight. If not, it probably waits until Saturday; I've got a full day tomorrow and I travel cross-country on Friday.

Russelrules44 · May 11, 2017

@Jack Ryder, I see potential in you. You have a good grasp in terms of plot and characters. What I think could probably use some work in the future is description.

Let's take this line for example:

Liam's arrival is not well received because of Roderick and his Gang. Dean sees this resentment and plans to dissuade this resentment.

So, Liam's arrival is not working out. That is a major plot point in your movie. What I think could have been done is that there could be some scenes showing how Roderick and his gang treat Liam, and eventually see Dean's response. That would build up an obstacle that Liam and his team need to overcome.

Here's another example:

Joe was way tensed when the next match began.

So in this scene, Joe is very tense for the game because of their losing streak. This can be shown by showing an example on how he feels.

Observe: Joe sits down on the bench, hands on his head; thinking long and hard about the next game. He pays no attention to the other teammates who are busy working out and doing their final practices. In a soft, but clearly aggravated whisper, he says to himself "If we lose this game, I swear to God..." He sighs in frustration and gets up.

In conclusion: When you describe something, it helps us plant a picture in our mind and to understand what's happening.

QFresh · May 11, 2017

If I may, I'd like to become a member of this delightful game you've got going on.

Allow me to introduce Mad Grease Media Group

First Treatment Upcoming... Possibly Tomorrow... Probably Tomorrow... I write with a lot of typed pauses...

Russelrules44 · May 11, 2017

If I may, I'd like to become a member of this delightful game you've got going on.

Allow me to introduce Mad Grease Media Group

First Treatment Upcoming... Possibly Tomorrow... Probably Tomorrow... I write with a lot of typed pauses...

Welcome aboard Q-Fresh! Can't wait to see what the Mad Grease Media Group has to offer.

Russelrules44 · May 11, 2017

The Viper’s Den Presents

From the Creator of Family Guy, Seth MacFarlane

Bars

Starring

Adam Sandler

Jonathan Good

Gordon Ramsay

Also Featuring

Miranda Cosgrove

Dwayne Hill

Samantha Bee

Joe Anoa’i

MOVIE DETAILS

› Title: Bars

› Genre: Comedy

› Duration: 95 Minutes

› Rating: PG-13 (Strong language, fight scene, juvenile, political and dark comedy)

› Plot: The movie opens with an establishing shot of a courtroom where a trial is already in progress. A man (Adam Sandler) sits nervously in his chair as his lawyer tries to plead his case of innocence, it does seem to be going very well judging from how The Judge is responding to his defense.

The man introduces himself in a voice-over as Herman Seeley, and that other people would think he wouldn’t be in this sort of situation; but to him, it’s just another Tuesday down the shit-hole. To explain how he got to this point, he takes us right back to a ‘few days ago’. On the suburbs of a relatively quiet town, during the Fourth of July. Herman wanted to do something extra special, seeing as he loved America and he loved the troops; so he made a plan to make an electronic sign saying the words ‘God Bless America’ and fireworks that when lit up would say ‘Let’s Beat ISIS!’.

That night, Herman attempted to show off his impressive display. But something went terribly wrong, he doesn’t know what he did; but for some reason or another, instead of the fireworks and sign saying what he wanted, the fireworks exploded in the sign writing out ‘God Bless ISIS’ and the sign lit up saying ‘Let’s Beat America!’ Apparently, this caught the eye of some people who were not exactly pleased with what they described as ‘terroristic thoughts’. And thus, he must be held in trial until he gets his final verdict.

The final verdict arrives, and Herman is found to be guilty of terrorism. Herman sighs, pondering what prison he’s going to end up in. With luck, he hopes for a short stay in a harsh, but relatively survivable jail. Instead, the judge reveals that Herman will be spending the next few weeks at a place called Lion County Prison. This confuses Herman as he has never heard of said prison, he asks the judge what it is like. He chuckles evilly and tells him that it’s a ‘hell of a time’.

We cut to the Lion County Prison, which is found to be exactly what the judge said it to be. An electric fence guards the place, where on one corner you can see one police officer (Seth MacFarlane) trying to take their stuffed rabbit away from them like the typical school bully, another (Samantha Bee) putting a scorpion on the back of another prisoner forced to pick up rocks and one especially intimidating officer (Joe Anoa’i) sitting on a scrawny prisoner attempting to do push-ups, whom he calls a sissy. Two more prisoners are shown running away from two fierce looking pit bulls and one more is being hung upside down from the top of the building, bleeding and losing life.

Horrified, Herman asks if it’s too late to turn around. He sees the person driving him get zapped by the fence and open automatically, he turns to camera and mouths at the audience to save his ass. He is then given his mugshot, his prison name ‘Islam Dream’ and his official cell. He is told that he will be staying with a man code-named ‘Permanently’. Herman questions why his name is ‘Permanently’, but he is given no further answers.

He enters his cell, and looks on miserably as he resigns to his fate. He then hears a slightly menacing voice, he turns around and sees a homely looking man, sitting alone; head down, no expression on his face. He greets him by calling him a ‘jail-baby’ and says that they will be spending a long time together between the two of them. Fearing his life, he decides to head to bed early. He climbs up to the top bunk to get some sleep, but discovers that the pillow and mattress are rock solid. His bunkmate looks at him and shakes his head, telling him he has a lot to learn.

The next few days consist of Herman trying to get used to his new home with hilarious consequences. One day, he tries to order a pizza; but a police office (the same one that took the stuffed rabbit) comes by, smashes it to pieces and forces him to eat it. Another day, he accidentally pisses off the dogs so much that they attack him and then shit all over his body. That night, when he attempts to take a shower to clean off the stench; he discovers that the water is ice cold and reeks of dead fish marinated with three month old garlic.

He tries to stay out of trouble on the third day by chaining himself onto his bunk until his cellmate tells him to get off his ass and get moving. He is scheduled to meet with a man named Mr. Hump (Dwayne Hill) who shall teach him and other jail-babies like him about sanitary needs in the prison. Herman refuses at first, but when his mate warns him that if ‘he’ finds out; that he could burn through all of his calories, he reluctantly gets up to see Mr. Hump.

At the meeting hall, Mr. Hump lectures the new prisoners about sanitation in Lion’s County. Here, they strive to have the best quality of cleanliness, quality, and safety. That’s why they’ve been ranked ‘Smelliest Prison’ for the last twenty years. Herman begins drifting off to sleep when Hump begins to banter on about what counts as good hygiene (it’s not what you think) until he is nudged awake by the female guard from earlier who whispers to him that he got ‘almost-busted’.

He is however just in time to hear about the most important rule. Never, and Hump means EVER drop the soap in the Lion’s County Prison. If anyone is found doing so, the following will happen...He then proceeds to gyrate his hips back and forward like he was in some sort of porn-flick, after some time; he begins to take off his shirt in a suggestive matter much to the disgust of all the prisoners. (But to the twisted delight of the officer)

During lunchtime at the cafeteria, Herman appears traumatized by everything he had seen when he sees his bunkmate with a sandwich with stale bread and moldy cheese. He eats it, appearing to love it and gulps down a glass of sour milk. He asks Herman how his meeting was. Herman looks at him disgusted and turns away, softly crying to himself. Nonchalantly, He asks him what’s wrong.

All of a sudden, Herman snaps; going on a expletive filled rant about how the last few days being absolute shit, from being forced to eat parts of a phone, to being defecated by two dogs, then being bathed by what he calls ‘the cold piss of dead Italian fish’, and most recently being forced to watch a grown ass man who’s ‘fatter than Chris Christie on his worst day’ damn near attempt a strip tease right in front of him. He wishes that he had never entered this awful prison and that he had never come out of his mother’s womb. His cellmate feels nothing, instead asking if he had gotten his show over with.

Herman turns to him, disgusted at his lack of care or emotion and tells him to go f--k himself. Drawing shocked gasps from some of the prisoners. Angered -but still in a lazy sort of fashion- he rises up from his seat and asks him if he’s trying to challenge him. Herman realizes his big mistake and tries desperately to apologize, but to no avail. He backs away from him slowly as ‘Permanently’ cracks his wrists until he’s backed into a corner. ‘Permanently’ gets right into his face and in a bit of treadmill fury says that he’d love to f--k himself, but would rather f--k him instead.

He starts hitting Herman with punch after punch, there seemingly being no end to the punches. Herman tries to defend himself the best he can, but finds himself getting bloodied from his mouth and nose. He tries to finish off Herman by attempting a move that looks awfully familiar to someone’s Dirty Deeds, but shockingly; Herman finds an opening and reverses before he can execute his move. ‘Permanently’ goes right after Herman again, only to be punched smack dab on the jaw and fall down on the floor.

Shocked at the velocity and power of his punch, he looks at Herman; who is unsure of what to do. He walks away, but not before ‘Permanently’ calls him out. Fearing he may be back for more, he prepares himself. ‘Permanently’ dusts himself off and to his surprise comments Herman on his punch. He asks him what his name is and reveals himself to be Herman Seeley. ‘Permanently’ smiles for the first time since they’ve met and tells him to meet him at their cell.

Inside their cell, the two begin to talk about themselves. Herman learns that ‘Permanently’ is not actually his real name. His name is Jahn Eisenhower, (Jahn being pronounced as John) and he’s been in this prison for the last fifteen years of his life. It’s come to be his own personal playground so to speak, and here, he’s figured out all the rules. He gives him a tour of some of Lion County Prison’s biggest exports, from the secret stash of porn that the prisoners keep, to the basketball court, to the workout room. There, he notices one female viciously punching her bag. (Miranda Cosgrove) Her name is revealed to be Aliesha Thompson, former MMA fighter whose career was looking really good until she murdered someone. Hence the codename ‘Mixed Murdered Arts’. He warns him not to bother her as she has a volatile temper, especially when you do so in the middle of her workout.

Herman doesn’t believe the rumors and goes to try and talk to her anyhow, for his troubles; he is taken down and trapped in an armbar. Immediately he flails around, tapping out like crazy. Jahn tells Aliesha to let him go and that meant no harm, Herman cowers away; holding his arm in pain. They prepare to head off when they hear a booming voice coming from the megaphone up in the corners. It is a special announcement from the head chief of Lion County himself, Chief Ruff M. Up. (Gordon Ramsay) Herman notices that all the prisoners seem frightened when he talks and listen very closely.

He goes through with the weekly announcements, any new prisoners that have not already met up with Mr. Hump must do so by tomorrow, or else. Next week, there is to be a special pizza lunch. The choice of pizza, soggy or cold. And lastly, any workout plans must be moved to next week as the officers will be using it for all of the weekend. The announcements end, Herman asks who the man was, Jahn refers to him as Chief Ruff M. Up; or as he calls him ‘Hitler for Dummies’ for his authoritarian behavior, brutal techniques, strongman personality and most importantly his genocidal tendencies. But it’s alright he says, because he hasn’t quite caught up to him yet. He’s not that bad once you get to know him, and he’s known him for a long time.

Inside Chief Ruff M. Up’s office, the officers celebrate a relatively successful week. Or rather, Jewel celebrates whilst Rover patiently waits for the next commands and Heehaw scowls at the wall, trying desperately not to punch something. Ruff M. Up asks for the stuffed rabbit, Rover obliges and gives it to his boss. Finding it dumb that any prisoner would want to have a stuffed doll and be a little bitch rather than be a grown man, Ruff M. Up sentences the rabbit to the ultimate punishment. To send it to a much ‘happier place’, Heehaw is motioned to take the bunny to said happier place. He takes the bunny and grumbles off, but not before being berated by Ruff M. Up for a ‘lack of spirit’. To which Heehaw can only reply with him saying that it’s not in his nature to be ‘Mr. Peppy’. He’s called Heehaw for a reason. He heads off, while Jewel snarks about how not only Heehaw acts like an ass, he also has an ass.

Heehaw goes down a large amount of stairs before reaching the bottom floor and coming across an enormous boiling hot chamber. He sets up the coordinates to activate the machine, after failing twice; the door to the chamber opens and slowly creeps out a chair. He puts the stuffed bunny onto the chair and automatically, the chair straps it in like a vise grip. Heehaw presses a big red button, setting the timer for fifteen minutes. The chair slowly makes it’s way inside the chamber and the door closes. The minutes pass by, Heehaw impatiently waits for the bunny to finish up with it’s process. He mutters on about how he could have been a football star, but his girlfriend wanted him to ‘hold up the law’ while she went and ‘did some errands’. Finally, time runs up and he lets the bunny out; now nothing but ashes.

Chief Ruff M. Up pops in and calls the bunny an example of what happens when prisoners don’t do what they’re told, they face the heat and think of their actions until the fifteen minutes pass by or until they perish in a fiery parade of smoldered skin and third degree burns. Whichever comes first. Heehaw is told to pick up the ashes, he does. Then he drops them and blows on his hand, the ashes are so hot they burn. Ruff M. Up laughs at his misery and tells him to get back upstairs. Infuriated, he obliges.

Back in their jail cell, Jahn shows Herman the way to sneak a phone inside the prisoner. You just keep it in in your pocket, cover said pocket with your hand and when no one is looking, you hide it under your bed. This reminds him, he needs to call someone by the name of Tulsie Gabbard. When asked why, he says that he wants to see if the two of them could meet up at some point claiming that they were at one point jail-hearts. No response, he sighs in frustration wishing that Catherine Zeta-Jones was here. Or maybe Ted Cruz. (Which he takes back as soon as he realizes all he would do is just tell him how much he ‘needs’ Jesus)

All of a sudden, a siren starts to wail. Chief Ruff M. Up makes an emergency announcement as to recent events, he has just heard that someone has been speaking of personal information that should be obsolete in this prison and when they find out who it is; they will punish him according. “Thanks a lot of you donkeys, you just ruined Workout Weekend!” Jahn smiles mischievously, knowing that he’s just shown Herman something great.

That night, Herman tries to sleep. But is constantly disturbed by agonizing screams and cries, he sees Jahn looking at the carnage and smiling disturbingly and asks what is going on. Jahn tells Herman that it’s that time of the year again and offers him a lookout. What he sees is disturbing, prisoners being hunted down, beaten, battered, forced to be dragged to the ‘happy place’ in a darkly comedic sort of way. And a line a mile long being formed on the steps of Chief Ruff M Up’s office and down to the ‘happy place’ where Heehaw, Jewel and Rover gleefully watch the most recent victim be scorched to his death.

Horrified, Herman tries to unlock his cell so he can stop the madness; but Jahn stops him. “No point in stopping a Jail-O-Caust”. After explaining what such a thing is, he assures him that they should be lucky it’s this and not a jail-pocalypse. Herman asks if it has something to do with ‘Mike Huckabee’s ever growing boner for the awesome white robed guy upstairs we mentioned earlier’. Jahn looks at him like he’s an idiot, “You must be thinking about the rapture. Something North Koreans secretly hope happens to them everyday of their miserable lives”

He then goes to explain Herman as to what a Jail-pocalypse is in comically over-dramatic fashion where acts everything out. (To sum it up, there are riots everywhere, prisoners brawl all over the place, some turn to cannibalism, stealing weapons from guards and of course, watching god awful mock-busters of better films. There have even been rumors that some prisoners have committed suicide during those procedures) But Jahn says he has a plan. They will stay in here for the rest of their time together, and whenever the guards try to find them; they hide under their blankets. “Sure it makes it us look like autistic five year olds, but it’s either that or we take part in a genocidal rampage”

The next day, they put this plan to action. As many other prisoners are being rounded up and sentenced to meet Chief Ruff M Up and his gangs and enter their fiery demise, Jahn and Herman stay hidden and keep themselves busy by ordering pizza; prank calling people by impersonating as famous people such as Justin Bieber, Leonardo DiCaprio and even Barack Obama. But throughout all this, Herman wonders if this is the right course of action.

One day, Jahn decides to do something extra special to commemorate the one week anniversary of their time together. He gets out from one hand two burritos and in his other hand he brings out some borscht with miso sauce. He introduces Herman to the Jahn-perience, an ‘food orgasm that’ll leave your tastebuds screaming as hard as Pamela Anderson was when she did Julian Assange’ which is really just him dipping the burritos in kasha and putting in some borscht inside of them. The two taste it, it tastes awful, but he lies about it to Jahn. Jahn sees right through him, “That’s the fakest thing i’ve seen since Glenn Beck’s fits of crying” and the two smile at each other.

Meanwhile with Aliesha, she tries to practice her punches without any disruption. But it’s not easy, what with all the chaos going on. Hump runs in, panicking. He begs Aliesha if he can stay in here and is instantly threatened to be put in a chokehold. Hump promises to behave, which forces Aliesha to let him stay. Hump flops down to the floor and begins to jiggle like he’s humping the floor, disgusting Aliesha.

All of a sudden, the door breaks in and income Rover, Jewel and Heehaw. Rover reminds them of Chief Ruff M Up’s ruling of ‘guilty until proven innocent’, and because Aliesha has been proven to be suspicious, she must be taken to Chief Ruff M Up’s office. Aliesha refuses to leave and stands her ground. Heehaw takes his stance, lunges after Aliesha and she dodges a spear, catapulting Heehaw onto Rover. Jewel takes her shot by trying to squeeze the living daylights out of Aliesha, to her surprise, she powers out and jumps from on top of her head. “Apparently, people who enter MMA are blessed with the power of athleticism”

Aliesha lands on the ground but rather awkwardly, like she twisted a knee. She winces, but she keeps a straight face and limps over to try and face Heehaw but is tasered by Rover just before she can have the chance to do so. “Nice try, but Connor didn’t get popular by luck now did he?” Hump interrupts the fight to seemingly ask Rover a question. When Rover isn’t looking though, he finds that Hump has stolen his taser and that Aliesha is gone. Hump carries a wounded Aliesha and runs as fast as he can. “Don’t you worry Aliesha, I'll fix you all up. Like Ronald Reagan once said, we’ll make Aliesha great again! Or was it that other guy? I can’t tell the difference”

Later in the day, Herman finds that Jahn is nowhere to be found. He tries to find him, but to no luck. To his surprise, Hump comes right up to him and tells him to get out and join them. Confused, Herman asks why; he gives no reason but to get out and join them. He does, and they run off to find a safe place. Eventually, they enter the cafeteria (which somehow has remained safe from guards after all this time) and lock all the doors to ensure no one else gets in. Hump tries desperately to do some CPR on Aliesha, who has gone unconscious; but it turns out to be nothing more than him trying to exchange in a long make out session. Herman pushes him out if the way and decides to do the one thing he can do, actually do CPR.

She wakes up from her coma and sees Hump and Herman looking at her, she tries to fight them but her leg is in too much damage for her to move. She finally concedes and sits down to rest her leg, Herman questions Hump on what exactly is going on. It is revealed that Hump has uncovered a secret plan depicting Chief Ruff M Up’s real intentions, it turns out he already knows who the guy is. (Jahn Eisenhower) He just wants to make room for newer, less masculine prisoners that will be easier to control.

Herman wonders if that means he supports the growing SJW movement. “Not like the people that parade a white supremacist frog are any better” Someone quips, they turn around and see -guess who?- Jahn Eisenhower, he wonders if there is a celebration going on. Aliesha questions his absence, to which he reveals that he had to go to the Jahn-Jon. “Turns out burritos and borscht give your ass a bit of a case of melted brown beans. Would make for a good sauce though” Aliesha informs him of the recent events, especially what could happen to him. Jahn stays nonchalant about the whole endeavor and asks what the whole point of this is. “You’re going to get killed!”

Jahn smiles lazily at Aliesha, “Listen; if you’re gonna try and scare me with McCarthyism, you have another thing coming Jail-Sexy” It’s not the fact that Jahn shut Aliesha down that has her upset, it’s him calling her a Jail-Sexy that puts her in her own expletive filled rant. (To which Hump asks as to why they’re shouting) Aliesha declares that doesn’t need anyone’s help, she’ll plough through them all on her own. She limps away, and slams into a door much to Jahn’s amusement. “This right there is the main reason we were jail-hearts at one point”

This accidental confession surprises Herman and Hump who have no clue as to why he is revealing this information so suddenly, “Because the person writing this piece of shit decided to half-ass the thing halfway through” But seriously, Jahn recalls them being a couple at one point during his time. The relationship lasted about half a week, but to him, it was the best half week of his life. “It also was the best angry sex i’ve ever had, but that’s besides the point”

Jahn asks if anyone has a plan. Hump suggests free sanitation flicks, X rated ones at that. This idea is immediately rejected, Aliesha is done with plans; she just wants to beat people up. Herman says that only makes things worse, and he comes up with the idea of doing something unthinkable. He wants to trigger a Jail-pocalypse. Everyone is shocked. “You mean the one where everyone starts doing puzzles and talk about numbers for no certain reason other than how to solve their puzzle?” Jahn reminds Hump that what he’s referring to is a Jail-Puzzle. Not a Jail-pocalypse. Speaking of which, Jahn asks how insane Herman really is and if he’s rubbed off of him.

“Not really,” He says. “But it feels like the only hope for survival we’ve got” Everyone agrees with this sentiment. There’s just one problem...how do they get out of here? Hump gets the key and blankly shows the key to Jahn. Stunned at his idiocy, Aliesha asks how he manages to stay alive. “How did you get to be so jail-sexy?” Aliesha lightly punches him in the arm. “I’d do more, but i’m too pissed to even bother” Hump opens all the doors and checks every place. It seems that the coast is clear. Jahn leads the way into Chief Ruff M Up’s office, confusing everyone. Jahn explains that he has a plan, a plan to make Hitler for Dummies make Osama Bin Laden look like a genius.

As Jahn talks through the plan with the others, Chief Ruff M Up checks on Prisoner number #124. “Looking mighty crispy!” Rover exclaims as Jewel attempts to get a bonfire going with Heehaw, who is less than pleased with having a weiner instead of a marshmallow. Jewel tries to lift up his spirits by complimenting on how big his weiner really is. Heehaw blushes to the playing teasing of Rover and Chief Ruff M. Up. Ruff M. Up goes up back to his office to gather some more weiners and marshmallows. “Don’t kill yourselves while i’m gone”, Heehaw then proceeds to fake choke on a marshmallow to spite Ruff M. Up. “That dude’s such a shit-weasel”

Ruff M. Up goes to check the small fridge. To his misfortune, they’re all out hot dog wieners. He makes a mental note to himself to get more wieners. The food kind, not the penis kind. When all of a sudden, he hears a knock on the door. He opens to see who is there…swoop! The screen turns black.

Ruff M. Up is then seen again in his office, tangled in some sort of net. He tries to get a good look at who the culprit is. It’s Jahn, smiling a maniacal smile. Ruff M. Up demands he be let go this instant, but Jahn is not budging. “If you don’t let me go this instant, I will make you pay!” Jahn is not afraid though, and uses Aliesha as backup. She glares at Ruff M. Up, with a hint of vengeance in her eyes. “Yeah sure, she’s only got one working leg; but still. She will kick your ass and give some awesome mad butt-plugs”

He motions for Herman to come in and gives him the mic. Herman clears his throat and begins to speak. "Hello...you may not know me, but I know you. My name is Herman Seeley" He goes on a passionate rant about how Lion County is hell, and how they are their spawns of Satan. The problem is that their just not acting like that. "You want to let the officers throw you around? You want the chief to screw you over? You want your lives ended?" The prisoners latch on to every single word of his speech, until the very end where he calls for them to destroy every single thing they can find in Lion County. "This is hell. Let's prove why it's hell"

With that, he officially declares for the Jail-pocalypse to begin. Chaos runs all over the prison as all over, prisoners begin to riot. They fight each other, they loot for drugs, food, drink, porn, whatever, they battle with officers, they kick the dogs, (who whine like little bitches) they steal guns and weapons, they try to eat each other, they watch horrible mockbusters of popular movies, they shoot each other, even themselves, they tear apart every single thing inside the prison.

The door opens, Rover, Jewel and Heehaw appear; beaten and bruised, desperately trying to stop the rampage that has ensued, but to no avail. "These animals are mad!" Rover exclaims. "They remind me of those Bernie Bros who used those Russian talking points because the media was too corrupt for them!" Jewel squawks to which Jahn replies by saying that Aliesha will be happy to be their Chillary should they 'Bern-Out'. "That was the worst joke I've ever heard" Aliesha says bluntly, Jahn agrees. The two look at each others eyes...

And then for some god forsaken reason, they make out. Much to Chief Ruff M Up's disgust. The officers help Ruff M. Up untie himself and they try to run out, but blocking the exit is Mr. Hump who tells them to prepare for his ultimate attack...he then proceeds to gyrate back and forth like he did with the new jail-mates, creeping them all out. Especially Jewel. "Is it safe to say i'd rather see Alex Jones dance naked on a pole than see whatever he's about to do?"

Jahn and Herman decide that they've tortured them all long enough and decide to let them go, hoping that they have learned their lesson. Jahn then announces that the Jail-pocalypse is over and, like magic; the prisoners seem to go back to their normal selfs. The guards and Chief Ruff M. Up run outside and check the damage. The prison has turned into a mess, blood spilt, cum splattered, food on the floor, some on the ceiling, the dogs have basically pissed themselves scared, in short; the place is ruined.

Chief Ruff M Up looks at both Jahn and Herman, furious. So furious, he can barely speak. All of a sudden, Herman hears voices, telling him to wake up from something. He's not sure what, but apparently it's important.

The scene changes, he wakes up, dazed and confused at the situation. He looks at his surroundings and looks down at him. He's been strapped into a chair and is sweating like crazy. Nervous, he checks his hands; they are blistering hot. He starts to scream and demands off whatever crazy ride he's been entered in.

Then, he starts hearing cheers. He's confused, he thinks he's hearing things, scared; he breaths extra hard. So hard you think he's going to pass out. And then...it's over. The drama has stopped. The chair comes out from it's inferno, carrying Herman with him. There he sees familiar faces, Jahn, Mr. Hump, some prisoners, even the officers and Aliesha are showing respect. Herman asks what's going on. Excited, Jahn tells him that he ended up sleep-walking when he was gone and mooned Chief Ruff M. Up. He was so pissed, he put him in the 'happy place' where Herman started to hallucinate weird things. But by some miracle, he did what no other prisoner has ever done...survive fifteen minutes of the 'happy place'.

But instead of happiness or relief. He is instead in rage and shock. "WHAT?! I'VE BEEN HALLUCINATING FOR FIFTEEN MINUTES?!" Jahn nods and proudly calls him a 'Jail-Grad'. "So. Everything I've been thinking about, I was hallucinating?" Everyone nods. Chief Ruff M. Up, humbled and slightly embarrassed at the whole debacle gives Herman his blessing and tells him that he's free to leave Lion County for proving himself. "Oh, i'll leave alright" But before he does, he decides to give him a taste of his own medicine. He pushes Chief Ruff M. Up into the chair, he sets the coordinates and while Ruff M. Up tries to beg him not to do anything he'll regret, the chair pushes him inside the chamber and lets him burn in there for fifteen minutes. (In motion capture CGI mind you)

Herman returns to normal, smiling, realizing that his job has been done. He looks at Aliesha, Jahn and Mr. Hump and salutes them for their efforts. He shakes the hands of the officers and walks off into the sunset. Aliesha asks the all important question, "What the hell just happened?"

"Well, let's just say that there's this dude who got tired of writing that one movie and decided to just give up halfway through. It's not going to get us good reviews, but hey; at least it won't put him behinds Bars."

The movie ends with Herman explaining in voiceover that if there was anything he learned from his time in Lion County Prison. It was that you should never moon your chief and that jail is a place that will transform a man into a manly man. But his advice? Don't do stupid things that'll get you in trouble.

Otherwise, you might find yourself behind Bars. Fade to black

Extra Info:

Dictionary of Jahn Eisenhower

Hitler for Dummies: What he calls Chief Ruff M. Up.

Jail-Baby: New prisoner.

Jail-Grad: Someone who survives Lion’s County,

Jail-Heart: A couple in prison. Tend to be power couples who rule the roost.

Jahn-perience: Jahn Eisenhower’s Mexican and Russian food experiment.

Jahn Jon: The end result of Jahn Eisenhower’s Mexican and Russian food experiment.

Jail-O-Caust: When the prison takes a lot of prisoners to the ‘happy place’ by force.

Jail-pocalypse: When a ton of prisoners commit suicide. Riots involved, chaos everywhere.

Jail-puzzle: When a ton of prisoners commit sudoku.

Jail-Sexy: A really hot girl in jail. There are very few of those.

Important Notes:

No, Gordon and Adam did not actually smolder themselves inside the chamber. We used motion capture CGI for that.

OOC: Seriously though, I didn't like working on this. I felt like it was a chore to write and to attempt to emulate Sandler's style and my style of comedy. And I think it shows. I got so frustrated with the movie that I just gave up and had a 'creator's breakdown'.

I offer a sincere apology to everyone on my cast, especially Seth MacFarlane and Miranda Cosgrove. I got way too overconfident and I thought I could tackle this project. Clearly I couldn't.

In short: I'm disappointed with this movie, but i'm going to take whatever happens next on the chin and move on from here.

cappyboy · May 11, 2017

Jack, question for you. What country are you from? It looks like you don't know how MLS operates and were falling back more on a British model because that's what you know. Which is perfectly fine from the perspective of this being fiction but would likely hurt the word of mouth you'd get from more knowledgeable fans.

The only pro sports team here with a board that would operate like a British team is the NFL's Green Bay Packers. Who are the nation's only publicly traded sports team. It's just not done here otherwise and I'm not 100% sure it even could be legally.

Also what is this Major Series your reference? It sounds like you intend it to either represent the MLS Playoffs (which don't have a fancy name) or the Lamar Hunt US Open Cup. But the way your fictional season flows, it would be the wrong time of year for an MLS team to be qualifying for that tournament. MLS teams enter that mix in June. Which would be midseason by American scheduling. The drama side of your story looks really good. But if you're doing a sports movie, it helps to understand the landscape of the sport you're using as the backdrop. Hope the dice are kind to you but I could see this issue holding things back.

HRTVAndrew · May 11, 2017

It must be award season, because "The Hackers" is the latest in a long series of movies lately that's ready for release!

MOVIE DETAILS

Title: "The Hackers"

Genre: Sports comedy

Duration: 1 hour, 55 minutes

Rating: PG-13 (language, brief nudity, suggestive humor)

Plot: Our movie opens with longtime buddies Billy Sullivan and Richie Erickson on the 18th green at Ypsilanti Municipal Golf Club. They’re jawing back and forth as Sullivan eyes a birdie putt, which he lips out from 20 feet. Erickson gives him the putt coming back, and after getting his ball, Sullivan goes into his golf bag, pulling out a fresh button-down suit, a tie, and a jacket. Meanwhile, Erickson eyes a 20-footer from the other direction, mentioning he needs a birdie to tie his course record (64). The putt is struck firmly and looks in, but hangs on the edge. Erickson shakes his head, taps in for 65, and goes into his own bag for a suit. Sullivan urges him to get going, and Erickson finishes changing while their golf cart is in motion…towards a nearby church.

A crowd has gathered to pay their respects following the death of Yancey Sullivan, Billy’s grandfather. Billy and Richie park their golf cart outside and sneak in to the back of the church just as the ceremony starts. Through clips of speeches, it’s clear Yancey lived a long, full life, complete with a career as a doctor, philanthropy to local youth golf programs, and a series of other charitable donations. As the service ends, a procession leaves to go to the cemetery for the burial, and Billy and Richie follow…in their Ypsilanti Municipal golf cart, with a “PROCESSION” marker gracing the plastic top.

At the burial, Billy and Richie are taken aside by Florence, Billy’s mother and the executor of Yancey’s will. She reveals that Yancey left two memberships to his beloved Lake Erie Country Club to his son, James, Billy’s father. However, James skipped town with a cocktail waitress 30 years his junior several years prior, and based on Billy being next of kin as his only son, those memberships go to him and a person of his choosing. After remarking that mom could potentially find a real sugar daddy at the club (and getting playfully whacked in the arm), Billy offers his spare membership to Richie, who accepts before heading back to the burial.

The two show up to Lake Erie the next day in Billy’s junker car, which immediately looks out of place in a parking lot full of new luxury cars fresh off the assembly line. They tee off…and are immediately miserable. For one, the pace of play is unconscionably slow, which is maddening to Billy and Richie, who tend to play very quickly. For another, Richie is yelled at by a marshal on the 7th tee for wearing the wrong kind of golf spikes, and Billy’s errant drive on the 12th nearly strikes another member on an adjacent hole. They go to apologize, but are cursed out by a man who continually refers to himself in the third person, Bradford Tillinghouse.

After an egotistical tirade, Bradford storms off in a huff, but after the duo putts out on the 12th green, the drink cart rolls around, piloted by an attractive young woman in tight, form-fitting golf clothing. She introduces herself as Amy Tillinghouse, Bradford’s daughter, and she laughs when Billy asks if they can refer to her as the spawn of Satan. She explains that she’s far from close with her father, and has only taken this job because of her previous position as marketing head of a group of grocery stores in Ohio being eliminated. The two each buy a beer, but instead of slipping her a $10 bill, Richie accidentally gives her a $50 while telling her to keep the change. Richie doesn’t realize this until after Amy’s driven away, and his resulting drive on the 13th tee is hooked into the woods.

After the round, the two shower in the members’ locker room, and Billy accidentally leaves his towel IN the room, far away from the showers. He runs as quickly as he can, grabs the towel, and covers up, but not before giving a horrified Bradford (not the moviegoing audience, thankfully) a full view of his rear end. Bradford expresses how horrified he is, and even after Billy explains who his grandfather is, Bradford lets fly with another rant as he storms out.

A clothed Billy walks out of the locker room, and he sees that Amy has stuck around to give Richie correct change. Amy also chides Billy for the incident in the locker room, which she heard her father rant about from the other side of the property as he left. She urges him to not take it personally, as he yells at everyone who walks in the door (“almost as a hazing ritual”). The two exchange smiles as Billy and Richie leave. Richie gets dropped off at his house, where his wife and kids are waiting, and Billy drives back to his place, where his mother is playing solitaire and watching a “Law and Order” rerun on TV. Billy talks about how he made an ass out of himself (literally), but all Florence focuses on is the girl he met, and she chides him for not being married as he throws his hands up and walks away.

The next day (a Monday), Billy is working his job as a construction foreman, overseeing a job doing maintenance on a local bridge. Richie drops by on his lunch, informing them that there is an emergency meeting being held that night on the status of their Lake Erie memberships. Unsurprisingly, it’s been called by Bradford Tillinghouse, who’s looking to exercise a clause in the club’s lengthy rulebook that members can be voted out if and only if the vote is unanimous against them by every member of the club.

When Billy and Richie show up, the conference room of the club is mobbed. Bradford makes the case that the two “disgusting, worthless pieces of garbage” can’t be trusted with golf clubs or with towels in the locker room. His rant, which is listened to by most of the upper brass in the lower-Michigan area, is shockingly effective, and nearly draws a unanimous vote. The only person to vote “no” is Webb Johnson, the two-time defending senior club champion. Upon seeing Johnson, Richie’s expression immediately sours, and he reluctantly thanks him before bolting from the premises.

Billy follows, and when they get in the car, Richie tells the story of a club championship match at the long-defunct Wolverine Canyon Country Club. A young Erickson and Johnson went back and forth for 18 holes, and only a missed putt by Richie on the final hole of the match (a very makeable eight-footer) was the difference between him winning and losing. After that, Richie stayed off the course for three weeks, returning at Ypsilanti Municipal. That round was the one where he shot his course-record 64, a mark only he has since seriously threatened, and he has not golfed seriously anywhere else since then. Billy is incredulous: “You’re telling me a guy straight out of GQ Magazine, with a smoking-hot wife, two beautiful children, a scratch handicap, and a banking job with lots of zeroes in the salary...is freaked out by an old dude named WEBB???” As ridiculous as it sounds, Richie refuses to talk about it, and Billy doesn’t press as he drives home.

The next weekend, Billy and Richie come back, and this time, the stench of Bradford’s speech means most of the club stays off the course entirely as they play. The notable exception is Amy, who follows the only twosome on the entire course, playfully heckling them while providing free refreshments. Billy thinks nothing of it, having seen women flirt with Richie all the time (despite his status as a faithful husband/father), but what stuns him is after the round, when Amy asks him to dinner away from the club. Billy accepts and waits for her outside the women’s locker room. She walks out in a stunning black dress…but so too walks dear old Dad (from the bar, not the women's locker room), who berates Amy up and down for her terrible choice in men. In a surprising moment, Amy responds, matching Bradford’s curse-filled rant with one of her own before storming off, her high heels clacking with every step. Bradford remarks that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and Billy responds, “I know. I almost hit one on 12 last weekend,” before driving off in his junker with Amy in tow.

The two dine at a fancy Italian restaurant, where each gets some background on the other. Billy reveals that he’s a construction foreman who supports his single, retired mother, while Amy reveals that Bradford (her father) used his influence on his old grocery store conglomerate to get them to buy out the company Amy worked for, thus costing her her job. Amy surmises that Bradford was bitter she chose Ohio State over his beloved Michigan, but Billy counters that she simply had the nerve to be her own person, which is a heck of a lot more than he could say for most of the people at that golf course. The evening continues, with both enjoying each other’s company. The night ends with the two making their way to Amy’s modest studio apartment, where Amy makes fun of Billy’s locker room escapades. However, she then INTENTIONALLY drops her dress to the floor, and we see her bare chest as the two begin to make out on her bed.

We cut to the next morning, when Billy drives back to his house and is cat-called by his mother for his “walk of shame,” a la a frat boy. She also reveals that a Webb Johnson called the house looking for him. Billy calls back, and Webb instructs him to meet him at a bar down the road from the club.

Billy obliges, and sees Webb downtrodden. He says Billy and Richie aren’t the only ones who have had problems with Tillinghouse, but that now, Tillinghouse is making things worse for EVERYONE. In a fit of rage, he offered the owners of Ypsilanti Municipal a blank check, and he plans to let the club grow into a state of disrepair simply out of spite. Johnson explains he grew up playing there, and that something has to be done. Billy asks if this is Bradford’s idea of fatherhood, and Webb counters that the only way he’d be a good father to Amy is if he stopped humiliating her by parading her in skimpy outfits for the amusement of the perverts at the club. Billy hems and haws before finally blurting out that he slept with her, and Webb responds by throwing his beer in Billy’s face, asking if he knows what he’s done.

Webb leaves, but runs into Richie, who’s followed Billy to the bar. Once again, Richie is very tentative, barely mustering any sort of a conversation before a puzzled Webb leaves the premises. Billy and Richie then ponder what to do, and Richie has an idea: Confront Bradford at the club and challenge him to a 2-man match with certain stakes on the line. They’d put their memberships at Lake Erie up, while Bradford would put up his ownership in Ypsilanti Municipal. Billy agrees, and the two storm into the restaurant. Bradford quickly agrees to the terms, and says he’s found a partner: Webb Johnson, whom Tillinghouse quickly reminds everyone owes him a favor. Richie quivers again, leaving Billy to do the negotiating. Eventually, the terms are settled: An 18-hole event in best ball, match play format, with the teams playing the front nine at Ypsilanti Municipal and the back nine at Lake Erie. Billy agrees, and the matchup is scheduled for 8 a.m. the following Saturday.

Dawn breaks over Michigan on the day of the match, and the teams arrive to a gallery made up of members of both clubs. It’s quickly revealed that Bradford and Billy are a pretty even match, while Webb has the upper hand on a rattled Richie. As such, the Lake Erie reps are 1-up through eight holes, and the teams make their way up to the ninth green, where Billy sees both Amy and Florence standing next to one another. Everyone hits up towards the green, and Billy says hello, but Amy tips him off to a way Bradford cheats on the green, moving his ball slightly closer to the green after marking it. Billy calls him out on it, Johnson sees it, and Tillinghouse is incredulous at being caught, thus losing the hole and evening the match.

Billy pulls Richie aside and asks why he’s struggling so much. Richie admits he’s intimidated by Webb, reminding him of the analogy about there always being a better pool player than you. Billy pumps Richie up, reminding him that he holds the course record at Ypsilanti, not Webb, and Webb grew up playing the course. Webb overhears it and walks over, revealing the dirt Bradford has on him: Webb had hustled around Michigan, frequently pulling out tricks used by the likes of Titanic Thompson (watering hills he could hit over, using balls illegal on tour, etc.). Tillinghouse was his caddy once and saw him do it, and he’s threatened to sully Webb’s reputation by shouting about his misdeeds in every possible forum unless he plays with him in this match. Webb urges Richie to play the way he knows he can, “because NOBODY wants Bradford Tillinghouse humiliated more than me, only I can’t do anything about it. That means you have to.”

That lights a fire under Richie, who birdies holes 10 through 12 at Lake Erie to give his team a 3-up lead with six holes to go. However, he pulls a muscle driving the ball on 13, leaving Billy alone to complete the match. Webb birdies 13, and Billy quickly realizes that he’s up against it. As such, he reaches back for an old trick, daring Bradford that he can’t make a five on the 14th. Bradford assures him he can, and bets $100 on it. Webb and Billy each make five, and Bradford makes his putt for four to get back to 1-down…but Billy quickly reminds him that the bet specifically revolved around making a five, not a four. Rather than pay up, Tillinghouse throws a tantrum, hurling his putter at Billy. Billy ducks, though, and the putter hits Webb square in the face, knocking him out. As such, this makes it a one-on-one match for the final four holes, and at this point, the entire crowd is pulling for Billy.

Both men par the 15th (Tillinghouse via chip-in, sparking a celebration amidst a rousing chorus of boos and catcalls that would make Santino Marella proud), bringing them to Lake Erie’s signature 16th hole, a par-3 with a green guarded by water. Both men hit the green with their first shot, and Billy proposes another wager. Rather than putt out (with Tillinghouse forced to use a wedge, since his putter was bent by Webb’s head), he proposes a series of coin flips, and whoever gets their call right soonest wins the hole. Tillinghouse obliges…and watches in horror as Billy gets the coin flip right immediately while he does not. Billy moves to 2-up with two holes to play.

Tillinghouse goes for broke on the 17th, flirting with Billy’s mother, who responds by throwing a right cross to his head. Tillinghouse threatens Billy with assault charges, and Amy shouts back about his dealings getting rid of her job. Meanwhile, both men struggle through the hole, but Tillinghouse’s bogey is enough to win the hole and get back to 1-down.

The 18th hole, though, goes much smoother for Billy. Tillinghouse hooks his drive into the woods, hacks out, and has a 10-foot putt for triple bogey, while Billy can three-putt and still win. However, he suddenly notices that every member of the Lake Erie Country Club is in attendance. Exercising the same rule Tillinghouse used earlier in the film, and with everyone having seen Bradford’s antics, Billy proposes the abolition of Bradford’s Lake Erie membership. Every member agrees, Billy holes out for par, and Tillinghouse attempts to flee the premises without surrendering the deed to Ypsilanti Municipal or the $100 he owes Billy. However, he is cut off by Amy’s drink cart, which he hits, thus totaling his expensive car (thankfully, Amy walks away without a scratch).

The ensuing celebration at Lake Erie is a long one, with many toasts to Billy and Richie for their victory. Richie mentions to Amy that there’s a junior-level marketing job open at his bank, and he immediately schedules her for an interview on the following Monday. A largely-recovered Webb walks in, shaking a newly-confident Richie’s hand. He congratulates the younger golfers, but Richie, feeling a newfound sense of pride, utters that there’s a matter left unsettled between the two of them. Webb smiles ("I was wondering when you were going to figure that out")…and they meet at dawn the next morning at Ypsilanti Municipal, with Billy and Amy as their gallery. Richie says this time will be different, and he stripes his opening tee shot down the middle of the fairway as the film ends.

TALENT

Director: Penny Marshall

Leads: Kevin James (Billy Sullivan), Ryan Reynolds (Richie Erickson)

Major Role: William Shatner (Bradford Tillinghouse)

Minor Role: Chevy Chase (Webb Johnson), Selena Gomez (Amy Tillinghouse), Raquel Welch (Florence Sullivan)

BUDGET

Talent Cost: $8.99 million

Production Cost: $1.51 million

Marketing Cost: $2 million

Ayden · May 11, 2017

I need to add a role to Narco.

Doctor Stanley: (Minor role. Just one scene.) A doctor who seemingly hates his job but needs to support his drinking/coke habit. Sometimes does coke with Tatum.

Approach John C. Reilly, Nick Offerman, Richard Jenkins, Bob Saget, Ken Jeong

Thing is, we have already allocated our budget to everything so whomever is interested will need to be paid post-release. We are willing to offer future roles as an incentive as well

Russelrules44 · May 11, 2017

Woke up, had some time to think about my little breakdown yesterday.

I'm a little embarassed by how I behaved...ok, a lot. But you know what? That happened, I can't go back and change the past. I'm going to move on and take whatever happens next on the chin. So, if Bars ends up failing because of me; it'll be understood and i'll move on to the next thing I make.

Just had a thought that HTRV mentioned, when is award season anyway?

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