The Oddworld

[Bigelow Cartwheel]

<p>The Results:</p><p> </p><p>

DarK_RaideR – 3</p><p>

alpha2117 – 5</p><p>

Anaddeo – 4</p><p>

Largo833 – 4</p><p>

BlueStar – 3</p><p>

joshbrady91 – 4</p><p>

Leohunter – 4</p><p>

MainOffender – 4</p><p>

brianc2008 – 4</p><p>

Aurora – 3</p><p>

BambiBoy – 2</p><p>

Midnight Express – 3</p><p>

IronmanCampbell – 4</p><p> </p><p>

Thanks loads to everyone who got their predictions in. Especially Leo and Anaddeo who predicted twice. <img alt="" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/biggrin.png.929299b4c121f473b0026f3d6e74d189.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /> Only took the first ones I'm afraid guys. My fault for taking so long.</p>

[BlueStar]

Perhaps the next event will be named "Dingo in the night".

And hire a production company called Woodfleet Cam to record it.

 

(I usually use mock-titles of albums or movies for my events)

[Bigelow Cartwheel]

Perhaps the next event will be named "Dingo in the night".

And hire a production company called Woodfleet Cam to record it.

 

(I usually use mock-titles of albums or movies for my events)

 

Dingo In The Night might be if OWC ever promotes in Australia. It’s just... unlikely.

[Bigelow Cartwheel]

<img src="

https://i.ibb.co/68qYV1z/OWC-Little-Shack-Logo.jpg" alt="OWC-Little-Shack-Logo" border="0">

 

Little Shack Of Horrors

Attendance: 299

 

 

 

I finish the bottle and stride through the curtain, my miserable face contorting into a pantomime scowl as the worn drapes leave me. I can’t deal with today but they’ll never know. The show… must go on. I barely attempt to read the rundown card before ‘Man In A Box’ hits and the OWC Heavyweight champion Seth Whitehead appears. Motherf*cker. He’s unhappy about Streetz and his goons. Conveniently, my next interruption is from Martyr. He stands there silently. Brooding.

 

“Awww, to hell with it. You two: I’m booking you tonight in a tag team match against Bullseye and Motoyuke Miyake. Whatever problems you guys have, sort it in the ring.”

 

Nailed it.

Rating: D-

 

 

If you enjoyed Alice in Chains a moment ago, there’s a chance you’ll appreciate the radio-friendly metal of ‘Sad But True’ of Metallica. One man certainly does as he clambers through the crowd, beers, cigarette and Singapore cane all in tow. Trainwreck rants and raves but what it boils down to is that he’s looking for a match. I don’t like this guy. Ah, f*ck it.

Rating: E+

 

 

Trainwreck vs Silas Odswald

This is a fight. There’s very little wrestling going on. It’s just two guys knocking lumps out of one another. Trainwreck reaches for his trusted cane but referee Lois attempts to intervene. With her back turned it gives me the opportunity to drill ‘Wreck with the wrench I keep hidden in my coat. If you don’t carry a wrench to the ring in OWC you’re a sucker. Lights out… three!

Rating: E-

 

 

OWC Womens Championship

Asami Okubo (w/ Venus Angeletti) vs Betty Dugal

This is another fight. More of one in fact, though just as ugly. I like Betty Dugal. I once dated a girl called Betty and just like Miss Dugal that broad kept coming back for more. Similarly, it all ended in tears. Dugal goes for the crossbody, Asami steps aside with ease and clamps on the kimura for the submission victory.

Rating: E-

 

 

Venus Angeletti, Asami Okubo’s manager, rushes to the ring and presents her client with the OWC Womens Championship for her first successful title defence. It’s a landmark moment in OWC history… except Okubo doesn’t seem to feel that way. No smiles. She attacks Venus and clamps on the kimura. Venus wails in pain.

 

“You see, Venus” says Streetz appearing from the crowd. “I am given to understand that Asami was not adequately represented in her charge to the top of the OWC Womens division. She contacted me to make the necessary changes. As of now you are relived of your services. I am the manager of champions. Never forget that.”

 

Well, sh*t. Who saw that coming?

Rating: E-

 

 

Robin DaLay vs Phobia

Well this was fun. Phobia has been bitching at me for months. Time to sort this. DaLay hammeres him with a haymaker from the off and stomps the living crap out of him. A huge powerslam and then calls for the coup de grace... DaLay Down (Running Dominator). And a second one! Bitch to me will you? Destroyed.

Rating: E

 

 

Streetz is back out and he wants everyone to know that his clients, Bullseye and Motoyuki Miyake are hungry for success in OWC. He tells Seth Whitehead and Martyr to watch their backs as they are marked targets. A few people clap but stop when they realise that no one else is.

Rating: F+

 

 

Hurakan vs Swipe Romero

Has OWC’s attempt at lucha libre been a success? Not really, but Hurakan looks like he’s the next breakout star here. A real find. The same cannot be said for Swipe Romero. He’s young though, he’ll learn. Possibly. Hurakan catches Romero with a Top Rope Hurricanrana and follows it up with a Scorpio Splash. And this one is over.

Rating: E

 

 

Clare South is out. Everyone’s heart is beating just that little bit faster. I have a big heart… of course the doctors call it “enlarged.” Clare has a mic and invites Mad Dog Mortimer to the ring. I’ve not seen the grumpy old bastard since he was stretchered off at B-Movie Horror Show two months ago. His head went through the table with a sickening thud, right through to the concrete. Clare’s looking a little uneasy. ‘Stranglehold’ by Ted Nugent plays a second time. Still no appearance from Mortimer. Clare covers brilliantly and wishes Mort “all the best, wherever you are.” Such a pro.

Rating: E

 

 

Seth Whitehead (w/ Clare South) and Martyr vs Bullseye and Motoyuke Miyake (w/Streetz)

Streetz is not looking calm. His usual suave demeanour is definitely missing as the teams face off. Miyake is an animal. Bullseye the street thug contract killer. Martyr is a bloodthirsty psychopath. And Seth Whitehead holds himself as the man of the people, OWC’s heavyweight champion. All four clash and referee Lois Hudson struggles to exert her authority. Huge power moves and daring dives in this one. Martyr wipes out everyone with an enormous tope con hilo. Where’d he pull that one from? The finish comes as all four men brawl in the ring and Bullseye nails Whitehead with the PPK! The Pin Point Knee! From outta nowhere! Martyr is too late to make the save and Bullseye gets the pin! Bullseye and Miyake win! Bullseye and Miyake win!!

Rating: D

 

 

Show Rating: E+

 

 

[Leohunter]

I Love this!

[DarK_RaideR]

Well, sh*t. Who saw that coming?

I mean, I did raise an eyebrow at a female being managed by a female, for some reason, but can't say I saw the rest coming.

 

Always happy to see more OWC shows.

[Bigelow Cartwheel]

I Love this!

 

Thank you dude. Thanks for keeping on coming back.

 

 

I mean, I did raise an eyebrow at a female being managed by a female, for some reason, but can't say I saw the rest coming.

 

Always happy to see more OWC shows.

 

It's strange. I'm struggling to think of a female managed by a female but male managed by a male, no one bats an eye.

 

Thanks for coming back man.

[Bigelow Cartwheel]

<img src="

https://i.ibb.co/x7HL6Z4/OWC-Banner-2.jpg"

alt="OWC-Banner-2" border="0">

 

 

 

Ugh. What a year this week has been. Everyone sick of 2018 yet? Good.

 

We’re gonna do some Good, Bad and Ugly with the happenings in OWC.

 

Good:

This isn’t just good, it’s f*cking hilarious. That little bitch Phobia has been unhappy with me not putting up with his sh*t for at least the last 6 months. After missing three or four booking meetings – seriously it’s just me sat in Starbucks like a lonely teen – I finally fined his ass and his mask has never looked more miserable. I’d had enough and booked Robin DaLay to run over him at Little Shack and he met me after the show to tell me he’s quitting. Absolutely no one, least of all me, tried to stop him. Whiny little bitch.

 

Bad:

I thought I’d hit the jackpot when I discovered Motoyuki Miyake. Crisp wrestling holds, devastating suplexes and he looks like a pitbull at the end of a choke chain. All at 23. The kid gets it. I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep him a secret for long but just as his undefeated run started to build steam Miyake tells me he’s had an offer from PGHW. I can’t complete with that. He’ll be going on tour soon. Realistically how long have I got him for? This is bad, bad news.

 

Ugly:

I’m shopping around for talent, still laughing at Phobia as DaLay bounced him like a basketball, and there’s just no one stupid enough and cheap enough to work for OWC. Then I bump into some kid called Dustin… somebody… I forget. I’m terrible remembering things I don’t give a crap about. Little punk had a USB stick with his “greatest matches” on. Why can’t he put it on VHS like normal people? He’d already knocked up his own 8x10” glossies and he had a different hair colour in each one. We are not going to get along.

 

Shout out to whoever’s up there pissing on me right now. Get me through the next month. Or don’t. Whichever’s easiest. Just keep the booze coming and make it quick.

 

 

- Silas

 

 

[MidnightExpress]

Another enjoyable show and yearly update to boot.

 

Streets' little faction is really taking shape and look to be a focal point going forward.

 

I'm missing Mad Dogs mad ramblings, hopefully he hasn't suffered a career ending injury. Besides, it doesn't sound like you could afford and replacements even if he has.

[BlueStar]

Mad Dog needs to return. After all, where else would this hack find a proper pay check?

[Bigelow Cartwheel]

<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="MidnightExpress" data-cite="MidnightExpress" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="46583" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>Another enjoyable show and yearly update to boot.<p> </p><p> Streets' little faction is really taking shape and look to be a focal point going forward.</p><p> </p><p> I'm missing Mad Dogs mad ramblings, hopefully he hasn't suffered a career ending injury. Besides, it doesn't sound like you could afford and replacements even if he has.</p></div></blockquote><p> </p><p> Thanks man. Streetz' faction needs a name. Not sure on it yet.</p><p> </p><p> I enjoy writing Mad Dog. It would be terrible if he didn't come back.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="BlueStar" data-cite="BlueStar" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="46583" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>Mad Dog needs to return. After all, where else would this hack find a proper pay check? <img alt=":D" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/biggrin.png.929299b4c121f473b0026f3d6e74d189.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /></div></blockquote><p> </p><p> Exactly this.</p>

[Shianne_EB]

Thanks man. Streetz' faction needs a name. Not sure on it yet.

 

Kings Of The Mountain.

 

...And then Silas gets pissed that they dare call themselves the Kings of his mountain.

 

[brianc2008]

Thanks man. Streetz' faction needs a name. Not sure on it yet.

 

Streetz Ahead?

 

Don't blame me, I've been on a Community kick of late.

[Bigelow Cartwheel]

Kings Of The Mountain.

 

...And then Silas gets pissed that they dare call themselves the Kings of his mountain.

 

 

Ha, thanks man. That could work. Little bit Jarretty but I could def see Silas having a problem with it.

 

 

Streetz Ahead?

 

Don't blame me, I've been on a Community kick of late.

 

Would you believe this was my first thought? I don't know what Community is but I'm not up with what's hip. Do people still say hip? I'm bringing it back. Ahem, so yeah, it's cheesey as hell... so it might just work in OWC. Anyway, thanks man.

[Bigelow Cartwheel]

<img src="

https://i.ibb.co/h20FyWM/OWC-The-Circus-Is-In-Town-Logo.jpg" alt="OWC-The-Circus-Is-In-Town-Logo" border="0">

 

The Circus Is In Town

Attendance: 300

 

 

 

Sometimes I find myself skipping to work. Or at least strolling unencumbered by the world around me. On occasion I’ve been known to smile at small children and then back off when I get angry glares from fathers misreading the situation. It might be because I often smell like last night in a morning. It’s not a fragrance that carries well. But the point is, I can be almost cheerful. That ends as soon as I step foot into the OWC locker room.

 

This time it was Trainwreck antagonising Robin DaLay into a fight. Something about DaLay’s father. Of course it was. I could not care less. I warned Trainwreck for the show of it but it still left Robin upset. Next time I’ll fire them both. I walked round the corner and Julie Forletta was standing there. Why are you still here, you haven’t been booked in months??

 

“Everyone, gather round. Julie Forletta is here. Big round of applause for Julie, please. Julie… women in wrestling on the wrong side of forty need to have a special kind of talent, be it at ringside or in the boss’ office. You have neither. Talent is not a word anyone in this business would associate with you, which is why we haven’t used you since Anders Thunder. Julie… you’re fired.”

 

Ah, I’m skipping again.

 

 

* * *

 

 

I open the show and as is traditional in OWC I read the first line of the match card and someone’s music hits. I sigh audibly as Kiss’ ‘Deuce’ plays and gets a smattering of interest from the crowd. Dustin Deuce strolls confidently to the ring and snatches the mic from my gobsmacked hand.

 

“My name is Dustin Deuce, but you can call me ‘The Natural.’ I’m here to make waves in OWC and I’m starting with you, boss man.”

 

Oh, for the love of....

Rating: E+

 

 

Silas Odswald vs Dustin Deuce

If you were hoping for a mat classic then you’d be the only one in the building and very likely at the wrong wrestling show. This is me showing a kid that you don’t interrupt me in my own big top, regardless of how many before have taken that liberty. The match is horrible but begins to pick up towards the end. Dustin nails a Falcon Arrow and calls for the Bulldog but I drill the youngster low between the legs and behind referee Lois Hudson’s back. One Oddlander (Cutter) later and I am victorious. Win fairly if you can, cheat if you gotta but always… something… I forget how the saying goes.

Rating: E-

 

 

Seth Whitehead is out and he’s brought his own microphone, which is useful. He tells the crowd in attendance that he has a match tonight with Motoyuki Miyake and, as he’s a fighting champion, he’ll be putting the OWC Heavyweight title on the line. More people clap than expected.

Rating: E+

 

 

Texas Hangman vs Amok

Woah, battle of the big men. Both are easily over 6'7”, 6’8”… gotta be approaching the seven foot mark. They stand in the ring facing each other, neither moving, looking mean and powerful. The crowd gets the sense that this might be all they can do. The two collide and it’s your basic big man match. It’s hideous. Amok’s been getting on my nerves so, as is customary, one Hangman Chokeslam later he's looking at the lights. This was terrible.

Rating: F+

 

 

Oooh! Clare South is out next. Is she going to dance for us? Maybe perform a striptease? Nope, she’s calling out Mad Dog Mortimer. Didn’t we do this last month? Again, Mortimer doesn’t show. I am starting to get a little concerned. Well, not concerned... well, maybe a little.

Rating: E

 

 

OWC Bloodlust Championship

Urban Fox vs DISCO Kikuchi vs Trainwreck

On paper this should be a lot worse than it actually is. The crowd is watching a man who thinks he’s a fox, another man who thinks it’s the 1970s and a man who has been drinking beer and smoking cigarettes since noon. If you’re not entertained by the mere premise of these oddballs matching up then OWC is not for you. The three bash each other with anything that is within reach, as is tradition. Urban Fox roots in his trash can and pulls out the beloved toaster only for Trainwreck to send him to the outside with a hellacious cane shot. Kikuchi then breaks his miniature disco ball over Trainwreck’s head and the referee counts three. Blood and glass shards everywhere. Great.

Rating: E

 

 

It’s a gift, I’m sure. You can actually hear Streetz coming before he’s strode through the curtain. The man is always talking. His client Motoyuki Miyake has a title shot tonight against Seth Whitehead and Streetz wants everyone to know that Miyake recently signed to tour with PGHW and that he'll be taking the OWC Heavyweight Championship with him. I am more than a little alarmed. Streetz tells the crowd that there’ll be an exclusive after party at Iowa’s premier hotel (three whole stars on wheresmyhotel.com if you're wondering).

 

“And by ‘exclusive’ I mean that none of y’all are invited. And that goes for you too Seth Whitehead. When my man Miyake has finished with you the only place you’ll be going is the hospital. Better make sure your cheap ass has health insurance.”

 

Ooh, topical.

Rating: E-

 

 

OWC Heavyweight Championship

Seth Whitehead (w/ Clare South) vs Motoyuki Miyake (w/ Streetz)

Alice in Chains’ ‘Man In the Box’ hits and out comes the champion. For some reason I feel compelled to do ring introductions on this one.

 

“First, the challenger. Accompanied to the ring by ‘The Manager of Champions’ Streetz. Weighing in at 218lbs, from Tokyo, Japan… Motoooooyukiiiii Miyakeeeeee!”

 

And his oppponent, accompanied by Clare South, weighing in tonight at 234lbs. Hailing from Yonkers, New York, by way of Minneapolis, Minnesota... the reigning... and defending OWC Heavyweight Champion… SETH! Whiiiiiiiteheeeaaad!”

 

Does that not bring the big match atmosphere? No? Oh, well I probably won’t do it again then. It is however a big match and the two lock horns right from the bell. Both men are technically proficient and able to put on the kind of match not often seen in OWC – it is watchable. Sound technical wrestling builds to big moves and close falls. A couple of times Miyake is close to applying the Katahajime but Whitehead evades. The champ garners a near fall with a DDT and follows up with a Butterfly Powerbomb for a pin at two and seven eighths! We are seeing a more than passable match right here in OWC. Whitehead calls for the Butterfly again… but it’s…

 

Reveal

<table border="0" bgcolor=#FFFFFF><tr><details><summary>

</summary>

Martyr??

 

<img src="

https://i.ibb.co/0r92c79/Masked.jpg"

alt="Masked" border="0">

 

 

 

Is that Martyr? What’s he doing here? And Martyr with a clothesline that damn near rips the champions head off! Lois Hudson is calling for the bell but now Streetz is in the ring and Miyake joins as all three stomp the crap out of the OWC champion. Whitehead retains but what are we witnessing here? What is going on??

Rating: D+

</summary></details></details></tr></table></details>

 

Show Rating: E

 

 

* * *

 

 

Venus Angeletti has done what?? Excuse me folks I’ve got to get out of here…

 

 

 

[Bigelow Cartwheel]

<img src="

https://i.ibb.co/x7HL6Z4/OWC-Banner-2.jpg"

alt="OWC-Banner-2" border="0">

 

 

 

<img src="

https://i.ibb.co/SrZx4Lb/Playdude2.jpg"

alt="Playdude2" border="0">

 

 

 

Oh my saintly days, what do we have here?! Venus Angeletti on the front cover of renowned men's magazine Playdude!! This is gonna put us on the map. I knew I was right to have Asami Okubo choke the life out of her!

 

Pick up a copy today!

 

-Silas

 

[alpha2117]

I'm confused is Venus a dude? It was only a matter of time till OWC used Exoticos

[Bigelow Cartwheel]

I'm confused is Venus a dude? It was only a matter of time till OWC used Exoticos

 

Huh? Is Playdude a mag with dudes in it?

 

I was going off the Simpsons ref -

 

[alpha2117]

Nahhh I was just riffing on the word dude. Also that whole Male Grooming headline …. gotta have some fun with it.

[DarK_RaideR]

Nahhh I was just riffing on the word dude. Also that whole Male Grooming headline …. gotta have some fun with it.

It's the easy joke to get though. Ask yourself, why would Mitch Naess give such an interview on such a magazine? What exactly is the nature of the calls, nay, the relationship between him and Phil Vibert?

[EBEZA]

Well, I'm all caught up and sincerely hope this diary survives well into 2020's life span!

[MidnightExpress]

Is it strange to come to the place where the Streetz have no name?

Nobody laughing at this joke, not even you two?

 

The Martyr main event involvement shocked me and I'm still intrigued by where the Mad Dogg Mortimer story is going.

[Bigelow Cartwheel]

Nahhh I was just riffing on the word dude. Also that whole Male Grooming headline …. gotta have some fun with it.

 

Ahhh. Gotcha.

 

 

It's the easy joke to get though. Ask yourself, why would Mitch Naess give such an interview on such a magazine? What exactly is the nature of the calls, nay, the relationship between him and Phil Vibert?

 

I really struggled to think of what to put for headlines on the cover. As a bit of a DAVE fan I thought I'd name drop those two.

 

 

Well, I'm all caught up and sincerely hope this diary survives well into 2020's life span!

 

Duuuuude. Thanks for coming back man. I'll try and keep it going as long as I can.

 

 

Is it strange to come to the place where the Streetz have no name?

Nobody laughing at this joke, not even you two?

 

The Martyr main event involvement shocked me and I'm still intrigued by where the Mad Dogg Mortimer story is going.

 

Haa. Thanks man.

 

I had a U2 sat-nav once. It was rubbish. The streets have no name and I still haven't found what I'm looking for. I upgraded and got a Bonnie Tyler sat-nav but that was even worse. It kept telling me to turn around and every now and then it fell apart.

 

I'll see myself out.

[Bigelow Cartwheel]

<img src="

https://i.ibb.co/x7HL6Z4/OWC-Banner-2.jpg"

alt="OWC-Banner-2" border="0">

 

 

 

<img src="

https://i.ibb.co/58sB35z/Mort-poster.jpg"

alt="Mort-poster" border="0">

 

 

 

So I was walking through town and I saw a few of these plastered around. Outside the barbers, the laundromat, the bar where everyone knows to leave me the f*ck alone. I had an old lady asking me if I knew whether “Mr Mortimer” was alright. I said I didn’t know and she had a few choice words for me. You’ve got to watch out for those wrestling grannies. I could see the knitting needles in her bag and they looked fierce.

 

A bunch of college kids shouted across the street that I’d fed Mort to tigers. We don’t even have any tigers! I turned to yell at them but they laughed and ran away.

 

If I find out who’s responsible for these flyers…

 

Dammit, Mortimer. Get your ass back here.

 

 

-Silas

 

[BlueStar]

Yes, Morty, come back and you'll get a push....straight off a cliff! (I think I copied that from Bobby Heenan or Jesse Ventura)....