Elite Wrestling World Wide (Thunderverse)

[Pteroid]

"WHADDYA MEAN NEGOTIATIONS FELL THROUGH!?"

 

"I said negotiations fell through CUZ THEY DID, Jackie!"

 

Jack Bodydrop was not having a pleasant day.

 

"You told me Kaslow was on board with setting up shop for the next season of the Club in my gym, you told me he was desperate!"

 

"Yeah, he was, up until that damn kickstarter of his got funded, now I gotta write around ten marks that backed at the umpteen thousand tier for guest spots on each show! At least we're on a proper venue again..."

 

"I PROMISED THE CHAMBER OF COMMERCE A YEAR'S WORTH OF WRESTLING EVENTS AT THE GYM! THEY'RE EXPECTING YOUR GOD AWFUL FANS TO COME INTO TOWN AND SPEND MONEY!"

 

"Oh...well. Sounds like you're screwed, oh hey Kaslow just came with a TON of cocaine so I'm gonna need to get off here for a creative meeting, holla at me later, ok? Ciao~"

 

*Beep*

 

"Son of a...great...well who the hell am I gonna con into running a year's worth of wrestling in my podunk little gym? ................got it."

 

*Beep beep boop beep beep*

 

*rrrrrrring*

 

*rrrrrrring*

 

"Well howdy-do there, Jackie, long time no-"

 

"I got twenty-five hundred dollars and just horizontally flipped the WWWE logo, Watts, wanna run another wrestling company?"

 

"I would be honored."

 

"Of course you would, find a bunch of cheap idiots and come to Jersey, ASAP."

 

"Where'm I gonna live up there, Jackarino?"

 

"Don't care."

 

*Beep*

 

"Ok...time to work that carny magic."

 

ELITE WRESTLING WORLD WIDE...the acronym's also the standard reaction.

[Pteroid]

<p></p><div style="text-align:center;"><img alt="cuLC7N5.png" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/cuLC7N5.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /><p>

<strong>LIVE from the Bodydrop Gym in BEAUTIFUL Atlantic City, New Jersey</strong></p><p><strong> </strong></p><p><strong>

ELITE WRESTLING WORLD WIDE!</strong></p><p><strong> </strong></p><p><strong>

FAMILY FRIENDLY WRESTLING IS BACK WITH WRESTLERAMA!</strong></p><p><strong> </strong></p><p><strong>

Featuring the FIRST ROUND of an EIGHT MAN TOURNAMENT to crown the first ever EWWW WORLD CHAMPION!</strong></p><p><strong> </strong></p><p><strong>

</strong><img alt="HMWJdmJ.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/HMWJdmJ.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /><img alt="yfijLjE.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/yfijLjE.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /></p><p><strong>

TRAVIS LOTHARIO, THE 2ND GENERATION OF RAVISHING VS "YOUR PAL" KAL PATEL</strong></p><p><strong> </strong></p><p><strong>

</strong><img alt="rNLPbpg.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/rNLPbpg.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /><img alt="xvbdmXS.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/xvbdmXS.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /></p><p><strong>

THE TRI-STATE SUPERMAN, MIDNIGHT MYSTERY VS THE INSIDIOUS MR. JEEVES</strong></p><p><strong> </strong></p><p><strong>

</strong><img alt="iwvwDx1.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/iwvwDx1.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /><img alt="Q0bto6F.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/Q0bto6F.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /></p><p><strong>

YOUNG UNDERDOG AL BREAKEM VS ENGLAND'S WORST EXPORT JEREMY VILE</strong></p><p><strong> </strong></p><p><strong>

</strong><img alt="xKgb7Mb.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/xKgb7Mb.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /><img alt="og0fBZU.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/og0fBZU.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /></p><p><strong>

AND THE MOST POLITE WILDMAN ON THE PLANET CANADIAN WILDMAN VS THE SALTY SEADOG CUTTHROAT CULLEN</strong></p></div><p></p><p></p>

[QFresh]

travis Lothario, The 2nd Generation Of Ravishing vs "your Pal" Kal Patel

 

 

The Tri-state Superman, Midnight Mystery Vs The Insidious Mr. Jeeves

 

 

Young Underdog Al Breakem Vs england's Worst Export Jeremy Vile

 

 

and The Most Polite Wildman On The Planet Canadian Wildman Vs The Salty Seadog Cutthroat Cullen

[Bigelow Cartwheel]

I’m not familiar with the Thunderverse at all but this sounds like my kinda thing. Good luck to you!

 

Travis Lothario

 

Mr Jeeves

 

Jeremy Vile

 

Cutthroat Cullen

[Markw]

Awesome, I suspect this is going to be a wonderful clusterf***.

 

Travis Lothario vs. Kal Patel

Midnight Mystery vs. Mr. Jeeves

Al Breakem vs. Jeremy Vile

Canadian Wildman vs. Cutthroat Cullen

[joshbrady91]

Travis Lothario vs. Kal Patel

Midnight Mystery vs. Mr. Jeeves

Al Breakem vs. Jeremy Vile

Canadian Wildman vs. Cutthroat Cullen

[Dalton]

Love the T-Verse, this will be fun!

 

Travis Lothario vs. Kal Patel

Midnight Mystery vs. Mr. Jeeves

Al Breakem vs. Jeremy Vile

Canadian Wildman vs. Cutthroat Cullen

[foolinc]

Let's do this!

 

Travis Lothario vs. Kal Patel

Midnight Mystery vs. Mr. Jeeves

Al Breakem vs. Jeremy Vile

Canadian Wildman vs. Cutthroat Cullen

[Pteroid]

EWWW WRESTLERAMA

Live @ The Bodydrop Gym

Attendance: 93 (and Jack Bodydrop)

 

We start the night off with none other than the proprietor of EWWW:

 

Gordon Watts!

 

The former owner and operator of Golden Age Wrestling is all smiles with a cheap mic in his hand as he addresses the crowd.

 

Watts:

“Well hi-dee-ho, folks, how are we all doing tonight?”

 

 

Silence, awkward coughing.

 

Watts:

“Well that’s just swell, welcome to the very first show of Elite Wrestling World Wide!”

 

Kid in the crowd:

“EWWW!”

 

Watts:

“Exactly!”

 

Kid’s Mom:

“He was reacting to the fifteen dollar chocolate milk that bald guy sold him!”

 

Jack Bodydrop:

“IT’S A PROTEIN SHAKE! Stupid helicopter moms…”

 

Watts:

“Well okay! So-”

 

Kid:

“MY MOUTH TASTES LIKE BUTT!”

 

Bodydrop:

“NO REFUNDS!”

 

Watts:

“Who’s ready for some wrestling?”

 

Awkward coughing.

 

Watts:

“We’ve got four amazing matches for you tonight, all to start off an exciting tournament to crown our very first world champion! Of the world! Gee I hope one of our good guys win it and not some dastardly baddie!”

 

Voice:

“Well keep dreaming, HOOOOOOO~!”

 

Travis Lothario hits the scene!

 

The scion of the Lothario wrestling family struts his way down to ringside in a garish gold ring robe, a cocky smirk on his face as he’s showered in boos by the children (and wolf whistles from the assorted soccer moms). He steps into the ring and struts up to Watts.

 

Lothario:

“Atlantic City, rejoice! You’ve been graced by wrestling royalty, my old man used to rule the East Coast like a King...granted he never had to come down among the peasants in Jersey.”

 

Boooooos! Oh thank god, some heat, it’s cheap but MacDonald’s is better than starving!

 

Lothario:

“Yeah, that’s right, I said it. Nothing ever good came from this sewer of a state, except for when I pawn off your world title and make a hasty exit! By this time next month, I’ll be the champion, and provided that thing isn’t plastic I’ll be on my way to New York City to blow the pawnshop money on delicious champagne!”

 

Rich people booze! Boooooooo!

 

Voice:

“I’ve had just about enough of you!”

 

Lothario’s gloating is cut off by a newcomer!

 

“Your Pal” Kal Patel!

 

Clad in a red singlet, the babyface by default storms the ring.

 

Patel:

“You may think you’re all that, Travis Lothario, but lemme tell you, you’re not! In fact, tonight I’ll beat you and boot you right out of New Jersey on my way to being the champion!”

 

Scattered yays, mostly because he said he’ll get rid of Lothario. Also boos from the soccer moms who may or may not have smuggled some wine into the show, also because of the possible lack of hot dude. Watts slides his way in between the two.

 

Watts:

“Well howwww do ya like that, folks!? We’ve got quite a matchup for our main event tonight! But it’ll have to wait FOR the main event, off to the locker room with you two fellas, because it’s time to get this showwwww ON THE ROAD!”

 

Lukewarm applause.

 

Bodydrop:

“Wait was that supposed to be a catchphrase?”

 

Watts:

“No...maybe…”

 

All three leave the ring and it’s time to start the show in earnest!

 

Cutthroat Cullen vs Canadian Wildman

 

The Salty Seadog of Penzance, Saskatchewan is out first gruffly attempting to make off with various souvenirs our crowd had bought from the Bodydrop gym gift shop (yeah we don’t know why it has that either), but stops when the kid with the protein shake gives it to him willingly, clearly grossed out.

 

With the barrel chested buccaneer in the ring, we suddenly find a commotion in the crowd as his opponent, the crazed Canadian Wildman rushes out among them, howling nonse-...wait, no he’s just yelling ‘Sorry’ very intensely. Well you can put the crazy into the Canadian but you can’t take the Canadian out of the crazy or however that saying goes.

 

Once in the ring the Wildman is anything but polite, a whirling dervish of violence that batters Cullen from port to starboard with hard slams and harder punches that are lightly admonished by head official Cindi Hudson which gets her a ‘SORRY’ screamed in her face. She is terrified but flattered by the politeness. But what’s this!?

 

An interloper!

 

Indeed, some kind of insidious Mounted Policeman is in the crowd, watching the bout through binoc-

 

Kid:

“Mommy why’s that park ranger dressed like Santa Claus???”

 

...Way to ruin the intrigue, child. But one person who isn’t paying heed to that kid being an idiot is Wildman! Who leers hatefully at this mysterious fellow Canuck which gives Cullen enough time to axehandle him in the ba-ohhhh dear, it seems to have just angered the facepainted phenom, who batters him violently before finishing him off with a big powerbomb (which Watts dubs the Maplebomb) that gets him the pin and the win!

 

Winner by Pinfall: Canadian Wildman!

 

Backstage-and by backstage we mean off to the side of the ring next to a curtain-we are greeted by EWWW’s backstage correspondent:

 

Oliver Kent!

 

Kent:

“Hello EWWW fans, it’s Oliver Kent here with two competitors in the EWWW World Title Tournament, Jeremy Vile and Mr. Jeeves! Come on out here guys!”

 

Vile and Jeeves enter the shot looking dismissive of the audience, well Vile is Jeeves has a rather featureless mask so it’s not clear. Vile grabs ahold of Kent’s microphone.

 

Vile:

“First of all you American cur it is LORD Jeremy Vile, I thank you very much!”

 

The fans, being red-blooded Americans, rightly boo the dirty foreigner what sounds like an action movie baddie.

 

Kent:

“A-ah, my apologies, your lordship, a question on everyone’s mind is, of course, how will you and your butler here fare in the tournament should you cross paths?”

 

Vile suddenly begins cackling.

 

Vile:

“Ohhh you absolute rube, you utter simpleton, you dunce, you intellectual dead end! Ohhhh to speak to you is an utter waste of precious syllables.”

 

Jeeves:

“Quite, sir.”

 

Kent:

“I uh...I don’t understand.”

 

Vile:

“A codswallop like you wouldn’t! Listen well you inveterate swivelneck, I’ve no intention of fighting my butler.”

 

Kent:

“But surely-”

 

Vile:

“Because after he trounces that pajama-wearing clown in the mask, he shall lay down for me next month and give me a buy into the finals! Let the filthsome poors fight all the way through, a man of my caliber has no need to lift a finger!”

 

Jeeves:

“But of course, sir.”

 

Kent:

“You can’t be serious-”

 

Vile:

“I am DEADLY serious, young muckraker, as a matter of fact, this plan has been in the making ever since I heard of this brouhaha. I had an...associate, procure for my dear butler a place in this tournament for this exact purpose, I shall snooker you all you inconsequential buffoons!”

 

Kent:

“That is so...devious…”

 

Vile:

“Why yes!”

 

Kent:

“...so...despicable…”

 

Jeeves:

“But of course.”

 

Kent:

“Sooo...villainous…”

 

Vile:

“Is there a point to all this or are you just going to keep using words you don’t actually know the definitions of you persnickety ragamuffin?”

 

Kent:

“Ohhhh you’ll see a point tonight, that I can assure you, for now, please enjoy your match, I know one person who is going to be very interested in it.”

 

Vile:

“Splendiferous, now off with you! I must prepare for my most stunning debut!”

 

Kent leaves the frame and Vile with his manservant enters the ring.

 

Lord Jeremy Vile vs Al Breakem

 

Rookie grappler Al Breakem brought all the wrestling acumen that a highschool and community college career as an amateur wrestler to bear on the insidious noble from across the pond. Takedowns, grapples, shooting the half, other terms I didn’t look up wikipedia, he really gave this sneering...count? Duke? His exact rank isn’t really noted, but he was about to get lorded over if it weren’t for that damned Jeeves, who clocked Breakem with a fancy cane and sent the poor boy directly into the waiting arms of Lord Vile who rolled him up and hooked the tights for a pin.

 

Winner by Pinfall: Lord Jeremy Vile

 

Vile and Jeeves, fresh off this victory decide to put the boots to Breakem for meanness’ sake, brutalizing the poor-wow he’s 23 years old? And he wears that on his head? Sheesh. Huh, oh yeah the two dirty heels stomp him like plumbers stomp turtles until-

 

Voice:

“HALT, SCOUNDRELS!”

 

Could it be!? The Midnight Mystery!

 

Definitely not wearing the same outfit as that interviewer from earlier, the mysterious superhero cavorts down to the ring, immediately sending Vile packing and pouncing onto Jeeves to throw hands! Watts may or may not have hopped up onto the apron to inform our official that we’re running long and we gotta get on with the action! Match time!

 

Midnight Mystery vs Mr. Jeeves

 

Masked superhero vs also masked minion? Why it’s something out of a comic book! A cruddy low rent comic book with stick figures and typos but a comic book nonetheless! Mystery spends most of the match on the offense until the nefarious butler caught him with a thumb to the eyes, attempting to rally with similar dirty tricks and cheap shots until Mystery ducked to the side of an attempted punt kit right to his fortress of dudeitude to nail Jeeves with the Shroud of Mystery cutter to pickup the pin! Mystery poses for a moment then realizes something and beats a hasty retreat to the back.

 

Winner by Pinfall: Midnight Mystery

 

Over at our interview area we are suddenly joined by a new face!

 

Larry Lightning!

 

The spitting image of Terry Thunder appears right in front of everyone, checking his watch and looking around confused until a sweating and huffing Oliver Kent joins him with a microphone.

 

Kent:

“Suh...sorry, Mr….Lightning...had uh...business...to attend to…I’m shhuuu...sure everyone here is really surprised to see you! To wh...to what to do owe the pleasure?”

 

Larry:

“WELL LEMME TELL YA SOMETHIN’, SPENT KENT, FOR MONTHS I BEEN EXCITED TO GET TO WRESTLE HERE IN THE E-TRIPLE DUBYA BUT AS SOON AS I CAME INTO TOWN WITH MY INVITE TO THE BIG TOURNAMENT, SOMEONE WENT AND SNATCHED IT!”

 

Kent:

“Snatched...it?”

 

Larry:

“YA HEARD ME RIGHT! STOLEN RIGHT WHEN I WAS ON THE FERRY OVER HERE, BROTHER! WHILE I WAS ON THE COMMODE NO LESS!”

 

Kent:

“Huh...well...who didn’t really...fit in this tournament…?”

 

Suddenly Mr. Jeeves runs up and points accusingly at Kent.

 

Jeeves:

“YOOOOU!”

 

Kent:

“Me? I wasn’t...in the tournament…”

 

Jeeves:

“YOU TAKE ME FOR A FOOL!? You were that costumed do-gooder!”

 

Kent:

“That’s ridiculous, I was...I was here the whole time!”

 

Jeeves:

“YOU RUINED MASTER VILE’S PERFECT PLAN! WHEN WE HAD THAT PIRATE ABSCOND WITH THAT INVITE WE WERE SETTING UP HIS GRAND ASCENDANCE TO THE THRONE OF THIS PATHETIC LAND!”

 

Jeeves suddenly realizes who else is here.

 

Larry:

“Mind repeatin’ that first bit, brother?”

 

Larry cracks his knuckles.

 

Jeeves:

“Oh bother…”

 

Larry chases Jeeves offscreen as Kent wipes his sweaty brow with a-wait was that a mask? No, couldn’t have been…

 

MAIN EVENT

Travis Lothario vs Kal Patel

 

Lothario and Patel possess wrestling styles as different as their entrances, Lothario’s bombastic technical acumen clashing with Patel’s more peppy agile stylingings. Oh also Lothario cheats. Like a lot. It’s almost gratuitous. Patel however seems more than capable of keeping up with him despite the second generation wrestler going after his eyes like a cat to a scratching post, blitzing the wouldbe pawner of the championship with an array of flashy maneuvers.

 

However all good things must come to an end, and any hopes of victory for the non-jerk side of the tournament bracket came to an end when Patel’s flapjack finisher was derailed by Lothario throwing referee Cindi Houston into Patel’s arms, causing the Pal to break off the move or risk knocking her out! Houston in a dizzy haze stumbles into the ropes which gives Lothario time to clock Patel with a pair of brass knucks from his trunks and lock in the fabled Lothario Death Lock on the ko’d Patel. Cindi sells a bit more until Jack Bodydrop yells at her to go home loud enough for people all the way to Trenton to hear (we’re apparently butting into the allotted time for a Pilates class) and she turns around and waves the match off in a panic, claiming Patel clearly passed out from the pain! Travis Lothario advances in the tournament! The fans are not going home happy tonight...mostly because Bodydrop promised them appearances by Timothy Hawk and Drake Richards and the kids are up in arms about it but he got their money so it’s all that matters.

 

Winner by KO: Travis Lothario

[Voeltzwagon]

So this is what love feels like.

[Pteroid]

LIVE from the Bodydrop Gymnasium in BEAUTIFUL Atlantic City, New Jersey

 

ELITE WRESTLING WORLD WIDE!

 

FAMILY FRIENDLY WRESTLING ONCE AGAIN RETURNS FOR:

 

THE HITS KEEP COMING!

 

FEATURING THE CONCLUSION OF OUR WORLD TITLE TOURNAMENT!

 

Travis Lothario, Canadian Wildman, Midnight Mystery, or Jeremy Vile

 

WHO WILL IT BE!?

 

Also in Action!

 

Larry Lightning vs Mr. Jeeves

 

Al Breakem & Kal "The Pal" Patel vs Cutthroat Cullen & A Local Talent

[Pteroid]

Several hours before the show.

 

"THE *BLEEP* YOU MEAN THIS IS YOUR LAST NIGHT!?"

 

"I mean this is my last night?"

 

"That's...bu...y...sonofa...ungratefullitte..."

 

"I think what Jack here is asking is 'Why'?"

 

"You're a-hang on."

 

Young Travis fishes a piece of paper out of his pocket and reads it like a script.

 

"Ahem, 'You are an outlaw mudshow that is the shambling zombie of the most low down disgusting cancer in the history of the wrestling business and I will fire your daddy if-' oh wait I probably wasn't supposed to read that last bit."

 

"Fire your daddy?"

 

"Motherfffffff..."

 

"No, dad, my mom's back in Ohio."

 

"I'm sorry for your loss."

 

"ALLLLLLMAAAAANNNNN!!!!"

 

"Loud. But yeah this is where we part ways, I'm afraid."

 

"Well that stinks, Travster, I was gonna put the big belt on ya. Now who are we gonna have win the tournament?"

 

"Well...I could still-"

 

"GET OOOOUUUUUUTTTTTTT!!!"

[foolinc]

WHO WILL IT BE!?

Travis Lothario, Canadian Wildman, Midnight Mystery, or Jeremy Vile

 

Larry Lightning vs Mr. Jeeves

 

Al Breakem & Kal "The Pal" Patel vs Cutthroat Cullen & A Local Talent