ZEN: Got Malk? Er, Melk? Errr...Molk? Milmk...?

Pteroid · November 19, 2021

ZERO LEAGUE

Attendance: 548

Rekha vs The Buchanan Bros.

Sparky on commentary was quick to point out it’s strange that Rekha, a member of Skullduggery, was put into a 2-on-1 despite her proven record on the main roster, which prompted a tongue lashing from the Voice for daring to question the decisions of the ZEN Master. Rekha, however, glaring at ZERO all the while, put on a dominating performance man-handling the Buchanans with ease before putting an exclamation point on the brothers with a double powerbomb!

WINNER VIA PINFALL: REKHA

Hack the Hunter was out for the second match of the night, primed and ready for a brawl when he suddenly finds his opponent to actually be Luchatron rather than Maelstrom. Dr. Trollson explains that Maelstrom required bio-maintenance and the expansion of science vetoed some petty pugilism with a neanderthal, much to Hack’s displeasure…

Hack The Hunter vs Luchatron

THE MATCH BEGINS!

POUNCE!

THE MATCH ENDS! Honestly were you expecting something else? Robot or no, it’s still Flea under there.

WINNER VIA PINFALL: HACK THE HUNTER

Trollson seems surprised by the quickness Hack dispatched his creation with and tries to flee the scene but Hack gets in his way. Towering over the diminutive scientist, Hack demands the fight he really wants and Trollson meekly agrees that he will face Maelstrom next month in exchange for not turning him into taxidermy…

Ahead of our next match the inimitable veteran of Canadian cruiserweight style, Canadian Dragon was out to cut a promo ahead of his match with the rookie Kaia Marshall and…

Something was...off about him. Aside from the fact he was wearing some familiar ring gear outside of his mas he also appeared to sound extremely Kiwi for a person from Canada. Indeed it seemed the only mark he was from Canada was his constant use of the words ‘Eh?’ ‘Hockey’ and ‘Hoser’. Of note among those suspicious of this was LORD ZERO himself and the Voice who became increasingly irritated as he spoke, cutting off his mic to get him to face his opponent.

Kiwi Cool Kaia Marshall vs ’Canadian Dragon’

Kaia Marshall was in good spirit about facing the definitely Canandian definitely Dragon luchador, wrestling a clean bout against Dragon who moved like a man roughly ohhhh 22 years his younger? The rookie wrestler put up a good fight but in the end Canadian Dragon put her away with a savvy small package roll up.

WINNER VIA PINFALL: CANADIAN DRAGON

Dragon is up and celebrating his win and so is LORD ZERO who storms down to the ring as the Voice derides the debutant for ‘DODGING HIS BANISHMENT, BANISHMENT!’ Dragon, meanwhile, sees the Master is angry and with all his savvy and veteran awareness...ran for his life with ZERO in hot pursuit! The Voice continues to rant against Booster Boy for some reason when a new voice interrupts him:

“HEY!”

Urban Fox hits the ring, mic in hand and tears into ZERO and his Voice for running the League like a prison, trying to condemn people when everyone on the ZEN roster just wants to compete in the only league of its kind on earth. ZERO may think he’s got everyone terrified but all it’s gonna take is someone standing up to him successfully to end ZERO’s aura once and for all. The Voice is aghast and goes running after ZERO as Fox goes to face off with Auckland Raider in the ZERO LEAGUE main event!

Urban Fox vs Auckland Raider

Fox and the Raider clash without the intimidating supervision of ZERO and it’s pretty clear the fans are behind the man daring to defy the ZEN Master. Raider is a far cry from the high-fliers Fox has faced so far and lays into him with power spots and hard-hitting offense that Fox struggles to keep up with in the early goings. However, the support of the Faithful is has swung many a fortune and it does so tonight as their support gives Fox the presence of mind to counter Raider’s S.T.O into his Implant DDT for the surprise victory over the bigger fighter.

WINNER VIA PINFALL: URBAN FOX!

Pteroid · November 24, 2021

ZEN Presents:

WAY OF THE HEALER

Live From Auckland

Attendance: 548

We open the show in the backstage area ahead of our first matchup where a cadre of crooks are convening to plot calamity…

“Aha mine students, the stars hath aligned for us tonight, through my negotiating prowess the ZEN Council has agreed to bestow a boon upon us. Truly you labor under the tutelage of the greatest mind in all of-”

“Please get to the point.”

Vishni:

“Ahem, yes, quite. Well you see with you match with the Pastel Spider and his Feathery Friend imminent, victory tonight will bestow upon you an opp-”

“Oh my god just say we’re gonna get a title match!”

Vishni:

“Listen here you little sh-”

Vishnu notices both his charges glaring at him and he quickly regains his composure.

Vishni:

“Yes, yes the answer is yes and you are going to win because I am with you in all things. Just uhm...not at ringside.”

HalloWarped:

“Excuse me?”

Toady:

“HE’S MAKING A RUN FOR MEXICO!”

Vishni:

“I am doing no such thing! My bugout location of choice is Singapore thank you very much but that is beside the point. There are plans in motion, my charges, I have an idea that shall secure victory no matter how tight the jaws of defeat may be! Now if you’ll excuse me…”

Vishni flees offscreen as Toady leers at him, HalloWarped folds his arms.

Toady:

“Think he’s on the up and up?”

HalloWarped:

“Never. But that is why he is useful. Still…Hrm. No matter, we’ve defeated those two before we’ll do it again.”

Toady:

“Aw yeah, let’s mess up their pretty faces!”

vs

Warp-Jump vs Pinkie and the Vane

Bit of an understatement to say either of these teams are strangers to one another with Warp-Jump being the longest tenured team in ZEN history following the end of the Knights Temple and Pinkie and the Vane’s status as a constant tag team threat. The recent beatdowns at the hands of the mysterious calcium crusader don’t seem to affect either of the high fashion faction’s performances too much as both sides fly around the ring with the grace the ZEN Faithful have come to expect, eliciting cheers and chants despite their mutual rudo status. It appears Pinkie and the Vane have the match in hand with the Blast of Lilac Superkick/German Suplex combo setup on Toady when-

”MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELK!”

The familiar roar of the two’s recent nemesis cause them to abandon the hold and turn to the entrance, practically hugging each other in terror. This gives HalloWarped the time he needs to resuscitate his partner and dive in with a chopblock to both their opponents which leaves Trevor open to a Frog Splash from Toady for the pin and the win. Guru Vishni comes running down to the ring with his robes hiked up, pumping his fist in the air as his pupils realize what he’s done and look smug as the trio escape to the back, leaving Pinkie and the Vane frustrated in the ring.

WINNERS VIA PINFALL: WARP-JUMP

Backstage, a much different scene to the previous one is playing out…

“Yes yes the payment is being processed on CashChum as we speak just remember what was agreed upon, I pulled far too many strings for you to renege now. Oh spare me the poetry, I-”

“Buckminster?”

Snark fumbles with his cellphone-

Snark:

“-gotta go, mom, I’ll talk to you later, bye!”

Kalliope:

“Oh was I interrupting?”

Snark:

“No no no, not at all. Ahem, uhm, well Ms. Woodchuck I’m happy to report I’ve come to work unarmed today, being as I’m only in my trunks there’s no need to pat me down again.”

Kalliope:

“Ya sure?”

Snark:

“Well I’m not going to be crass and ASK for it.”

Kalliope:

“Ahuh...listen, thanks for last month.”

Snark:

“I uh, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Kalliope:

“Come on, I know you’re the one that rolled Slim back in the ring. I’m not gonna say I liked you interfering but Rekha wasn’t about to give me a fair shake so it was nice to have someone watching my back.”

Snark seems flustered to actually be making some headway here, stammering over his words.

Snark:

“Aha-yes-well-I-you see-I-ahem...you’re welcome.”

Kalli laughs a bit.

Snark:

“Well I uhm, I have my rematch with Slim ahead of me and I...also dedicate this match to you. Only this time without the embarrassing loss part. And perhaps...later...I could...take you on a tour of the SnarkCorp offices.”

Kalli:

“I’ll think about it, depends on the condition you’re in after that match. Shake on it?”

Snark enthusiastically puts out his hand and Kalli shakes it, stepping in and patting him on the shoulder.

Kalli:

“Give ‘em heck, Bucky.”

Snark nods and goes walking out the door, Kalli smiles as he leaves...and lifts her hand to reveal a pair of brass knucks she’s now twirling around her finger.

Kalli:

“Sorry, Buck, but I gotta keep ya honest.”

vs

Buckminster Snark vs Lerone Slim

A pure one on one bout this time between the two men seeing as Rekha was tied up in LORD ZERO’s lair for the ZERO League and Kalli is staying backstage ahead of her rather...random Conceptual Title match later tonight. No love was lost in the months since their initial encounter, especially considering Snark’s hand in Slim’s title loss last month and they came into this with fists flying. While still an arrogant wealthy braggart, the fans gravitate towards Snark if only through his strange alliance with Kalliope and the fact Slim’s association with Skullduggery makes him the bigger evil here. As their fisticuffs grows more and more hard to control, even Herbie H Reedman gets smacked when Slim yanks him in the way of a right hook from Snark. Both men realize the lack of a referee means it’s anything goes and quickly move to rifle through their trunks for...well a pair of Brass Knucks on Slim's end and nothing on Snark’s.

Buckminster’s eyes go wide as Slim slips his pair on advances like a tiger on prey, Snark ducks Slim’s shots once, twice, three times! A fourth leads to Snark slipping out of the ring and grabbing the arm Slim attempts to knock him out with and pulling it over the ropes, forcing the smooth talker of Skullduggery to stagger back and hold his arm, knucks falling to the mat. Snark’s looks to Slim and the knucks then back to Slim...he slips into the ring and charges Lerone, ducking a desperate punch and nailing him with a Snark Bite that a recovering Reedman is there to count the pin for!

WINNER VIA PINFALL: BUCKMINSTER SNARK

We are transported from the arena to the lair of LORD ZERO whose voice is currently in conversation with a shadowy individual…

“-this outrage must be answered, answered. You teeter at the edge of our lord’s wrath already, already. Do this for him and he will grant clemency for thine failures, failures. Next month-”

“OI!”

Barging into the lair is Cyanide, the rough and tumble rudo interrupting the conversation to storm up to LORD ZERO’s throne and shove a finger in the ZEN Master’s face.

Cyanide:

“YA THINK THIS IS FUNNY, YA WANNABE SUPERVILLAIN!?”

“...”

Cyanide:

“Oh don’t you go giving me the silent treatment you upstart, ya think I didn’t see that little stunt you pulled?!”

The Voice:

“How dare you come to the lord’s sanctum, sanctum!? Have you no shame, shame!?”

Cyanide:

“Shame!? Here’s some shame for ya, putting MY minion in your little prison for losers! Give her back or so help me-!”

The Voice:

“The ZERO LEAGUE is for those who wish to prove they belong here, belong here! Your minion performed admirably but she shall not return until the event is over, over!”

Cyanide:

“Oh bite me ya sniveling worm, we both know that one’s just trying to get a better position in the title match!”

The Voice:

“Goodness, is that you admitting to needing help, help? I thought you were better than everyone, everyone~”

Cyanide:

“I am the better wrestler, the better villain, and the better friend! Low bar in present company, huh?”

ZERO stands and stalks towards Cyanide, the Voice moves to get in his way but ZERO moves past him...and Cyanide.

ZERO:

“...”

He continues walking out of the lair...and snaps his fingers.

“Huh!?”

Rekha is back seemingly out of thin air, looking around.

Cyanide:

“Holy hecuba that actually worked!? Hah, if words is all it takes to get what I want with that sucker then that title’s in the bag!”

The Voice:

“Get. Out. Now. NOW!”

Cyanide:

“Heheh, c’mon Rekky, you need to be my cheering section for the main event. Also remind me when I’m champ to fire this dork in the robes.”

Rekha:

“Ya got it, boss.”

Cyanide and Rekha leave, the Voice turns to his shadowy companion.

The Voice:

“First the Fox now this, these little rebellions must be quelled, quelled. Next month, end the upstart, understand? Un. Der. Stand?”

Shadowy Figure:

“...honk.”

The Voice:

“Excellent, I must retire to deal with the one situation yet under control, control. Begone! Begone!”

As if obeying his command, the camera cuts.

When it opens back we’ve moved from a den of misery to the futuristic bridge of Karrg the Conqueror’s battlecruiser in geosynchronous orbit above New Zealand. Before him stand a motley array of weirdos and goons, glaring between each other and at the alien.

“ATTENTION ASSEMBLED CRIMINALS, I AM KARRG THE CONQUEROR AND I…HAVE A BUSINESS PROPOSAL!”

The goons mutter as a projector screen rolls down from the ceiling and on it is a picture:

Of Karrg’s Raygun!

Karrg:

“This is my Raygun, a Spleegax Atomic Disassembler created by the finest artisans on my homeworld, gifted to me by my dear father Emperor Blarrg the Dominator! It has been stolen by…”

The projector clicks and in the screen now is

“THE CONSTABULARY!”

The assembled crooks boo and Karrg nods along solemnly and begins to pacing among the crowd.

Karrg:

“But now is not the time for tears, now is the time for ACTION! I need someone merciless-”

“Rarrrgh!”

Karrg:

“Someone devious…”

“Nyeheheheheeee~!”

Karrg:

“SOMEONE EEEEEEVIL!”

“EVILNESS QUOTIENT SET TO: MAX!”

With a flourish of his cape, Karrg returns to the stage and gestures emphatically to the crowd.

Karrg:

“WHOMSTEVER RETURNS MY RAYGUN TO ME SHALL JOIN MY ARMADA AS COMMODORE AND TOGETHER WE SHALL CONQUER ZEN AND THEN THE WORLD! GO FORTH BOUNTY HUNTERS, RETURN MY PRIZED POSSESSION TO ME!”

The bounty hunters cheer and then go to leave...then realize they’re in a spaceship still.

Karrg:

“Oh right.”

Karrg flips a switch and the goons are teleported back to earth. Karrg sits on his royal throne and smirks.

Karrg:

“That perfidious policecop will rue the day he stole from KARRG THE CONQUEROR! KYAAAAAHAKHAKHAK!”

ZEN HARMONY TITLE MATCH

vs

Halloween Knight & Devilfish vs The Ghost Hunters (c )

Two respected veterans faced the reigning Harmony Champs in a clash of styles and outlooks as the more funloving duo clashed heavily with the scientific bad vibes of the Hunters. Strange for his part was focused almost entirely on Knight, declaring his intention to exorcise the Godfather of Ghouls before the match was out, engaging in some complicated technical exchanges with the multi-time ZEN Master interspersed with Devilfish butting in to pit his agility against Mr. Hyde’s powerhouse stylings. Eventually the Hunters got their hands on Knight fully and cut the ring in half, making sure to doubleteam and work over the ZEN Original, even threatening to rip his mask off several times to ‘dispel the myth’. Unfortunately Mister Hyde grows too overzealous in the mission and misses a body splash in the corner that knocks Bruce off the apron, this gives Knight the chance he needs to dive to his corner and unleash Devilfish on the rudo duo!

Devilfish goes off like firework in the ring, leaving the champs reeling with a colorful array of arm drags, springboards, and headscissors that have the Faithful on their feet for the second former ZEN Master. Tagging in Knight, Fish springs to the top rope and wipes out Hyde on the outside with a moonsault that puts the big man down! Recovered from his time on the apron, Knight lays into Bruce Strange with a series of strikes that have him on spaghetti legs...until he yanks Steven Yale in the way of a Rolling Koppu Kick that puts him out cold! Strange attempts to capitalize on this but Knight quickly counters into the Pumpkin Patch, putting it on tight and forcing Strange to tap! The ref is out but Knight’s got it on so snug it seems he can keep it going until Yale comes to, that is until-

WHAM!

Laguna the Loyal smashes a kendo stick into the back of Knight’s head!

Devilfish tries to enter the ring but eats a spear tackle from Deathwatch Beetle that lays him out! Together the alien baddies hoist Knight up and deliver a massive Anti-Human Device to Knight and flee the scene. Dragging himself across the ring, Bruce Strange rolls Knight over and covers as the Alien Vanguard giftwrap him the biggest win of his career.

WINNERS VIA PINFALL AND STILL ZEN HARMONY CHAMPIONS: THE GHOST HUNTERS

With that heartbreaking loss in the books, Fish and Knight make their way to the back and are quickly replaced by-

“YOU UGGOS THOUGHT YOU’D SEEN THE LAST OF US TONIGHT!?”

Oh the hits to everyone’s enjoyment just keep coming tonight, huh? Pink Spider and Trevor look rather disheveled after their loss in the opener and even more disgruntled.

Spider:

“Oh yes laugh, you pug-nosed plebeians, laugh at our misfortune earlier but it’s just the symptom of the illness that is plaguing our lives!”

Trevor:

“Preach it, Pinks!”

Spider:

“All I wanted was to beat up some nobody to pad my record for a few months and what do I get instead!? An oversized gorilla of a man who can’t pronounce a four letter word!”

Trevor:

“And boy do we have some four letter words for him!”

Spider:

“But we have ourselves a plan, don’t we, Trevvy?”

Trevor:

“Oh yes, we’ve brought in a ringer! A ringer to wring that cantaloupe sized neck of his!”

Spider:

“Then we can finally put this long national nightmare behind us! Come on out, hon!”

“HELLOOOOOOOOOO NEW ZEALAND~!”

Revolution Australian Wrestling ‘midcarder’ and general nobody in the world of wrestling, Dazzler prances out on stage, strutting his stuff next to Spider and Trevor who share a strained look between themselves before accompanying him to the ring. Spider goes to speak again but Dazzler seizes the mic.

Dazzler:

“Oh I am like so excited to be here everybody, you of course all clearly know me, Dazzler, star of the Revolution Australian Wrestling so hiiiii and I have nooooo idea who any of you are and don’t care to! Feel free to worship me as I pummel some pathetic punk prettily, okay~? So bring him out here, I’m ready to-”

”MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLCH!”

Right on cue our Milk-loving (if not understanding) hulk of muscle storms out to the ring, pumping his fists and roaring for the appreciative fans. Spider and Trevor bail from the ring as Dazzler’s sunglasses drop off his face while he looks on in horror. The Milch Man enters the ring and looms over the other man.

Dazzler:

“Wait didn’t I used to work with y-GLK!”

Dazzler is seized by the throat and Herbie H. Reedman calls for the bell, we have a match!

vs

A Dead Man vs The Melmk Weirdo

Dazzler. Gets. The. Crap. Knocked out of him. What you were expecting a detailed explanation of how hard this unhinged maniac beats him up? What kind of sadists are you? Lord knows the good nature of this milk-loving behemoth is the only thing keeping this diary from getting kicked off the board for graphic content. Just imagine Batman ‘BAM!’ ‘SMACK!’ ‘POW-ok maybe not that one or you might expect a different diary to come back…

SMACK!

Yeah like that...wait that wasn’t a cartoon sound effect that was a sound effect of Pink Spider and Trevor Feather hitting their nemesis with a steel chair! They put a massive beatdown on the Malk Man-eventually getting joined by Dazzler-and leave him laying the technical victor by DQ.

WINNER VIA DISQUALIFICATION: That Meelk Weirdo

Now It’s Time To…

Know…

Your

ZEN

LAGUNA THE LOYAL!

The Biggest Fish To Fry

Born to humble beginnings in the spawning pools of Aq-KZZT-ius IX, the-KZZT KZZT-where he was rec-KZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT

Through a plane of seemingly endless fog walks a figure shrouded in shadow. This is a bleak place where no light touches, not even within the burning soul of a hero…

“ZERO! I KNOW YOU’RE OUT THERE YOU COWARD! I CANNOT BE BOUND FOREVER NOT EVEN BY THE LIKES OF YOU!”

Pumpkin Jack turns to the camera and even through the unchanging visage of his mask it’s clear he’s furious. Furious at being cheated last month, furious for being seemingly imprisoned in this place in the interim, possibly even furious that the fallen former hero would stoop to such a low tactic.

“Quiet yourself, you spectre of Samhain, Samhain.”

Jack whirls around to find himself looking at the Voice of ZERO, standing further on in the mists.

Jack:

“You, I should have known I wouldn’t see my true jailer.”

Voice:

“Your true jailer shall make his appearance shortly, shortly. I merely came here to see that the locks were in place properly, properly. I’m happy to see it is so, it is so.”

Jack:

“I will not be held so easily you pathetic minion!”

Jack swipes at the Voice who disappears into the fog, only to appear behind him.

Voice:

“You have no choice, no choice. You are the greatest threat to our plans, and must be eliminated, eliminated.”

Jack:

“ZERO fears me that much he won’t even face me?”

Voice:

“ZERO fears no man, which is why I must intervene, intervene. He must be carefully crafted into a Master who may reign over this land for years to come, years to come. With you out of the way that plan becomes all the easier, easier…”

Jack:

“When I get out of here I swear I will tear what you’re trying to build down to the ground!”

Voice:

“We’ll see what Anguish has to say about that...about that…”

Jack:

“Who is-”

“RRRRRRRAAAAAAHHHHH!”

From the mists a bear of a man barrels into Jack, knocking him off screen. Sounds of pounding can be heard as the Voice adjusts his robes and turns away.

Voice:

“I told you your true jailer would arrive, arrive. Enjoy the rest of eternity being nothing but his punching bag, punching bag.”

The Voice disappears into the mists.

KZZT-and from that day forward Laguna vowed never to leave a single puppy un-kicked. Will nobody stand against this mad servant of the conqueror? Only one way to find out, Same ZEN Time, Same ZEN Channel!

ZEN CONCEPTUAL TITLE MATCH

VS

Kalliope Woodchuck (c ) vs Shaolin

How exactly Shaolin was granted a title match by the ZEN Council is up for debate, though Dustin Thane on commentary notes he did receive a beatdown prior to a conceptual title match with Pink Spider back in 2013 so he’s owed. Sparky isn’t convinced but Kalliope is a fighting champ at any rate and was clearly happy to clash with an old friend and ally in the Funky Warrior Monk. Shaolin puts up an admirable fight but it’s clear the ring rust is too much of an impediment to overcome the fighting fit champion who puts him away with a Woodchipper.

WINNER VIA PINFALL AND STILL CHAMPION: KALLIOPE WOODCHUCK

Backstage we find a section of the locker room has been changed into a makeshift interrogation room where on one side of a table sits…

One salty sea-SOB.

The traitor to ZEN folds his arms and looks around, chained to the table and glaring at the nearby door that suddenly slams open to reveal-

“ALRIGHT PUNK, IT’S CHOW TIME!”

Carrying a tray is Crimebuster, Karrg’s raygun on his hip as he places it on the table to reveal...a rather lavish continental breakfast spread.

Buster:

“Your sleep schedule’s off so I figured I’d give you some brekky rather than a dinner so it’d be easier on the stomach.”

Manny glares at his jailer venomously.

Man O’War:

“Who in the seven seas taught you the ways of coppery?”

Buster:

“I’m self taught.”

Manny:

“It shows.”

Buster:

“Thank you!”

Manny:

“That wasn’t a-nevermind.”

Manny starts eating his food, halfway through some breakfast sausage when the door slams open again.

“Ugh my aching cranium…”

“My dogfish are barking that’s for sure.”

Knight and Devilfish limp into the room after their failed title shot and look over to the scene at the table.

Knight:

“DANGIT, BUSTER-OW!”

Knight flinches after facepalming.

Devilfish:

“Stop giving him the good food he’s a prisoner of war!”

Buster:

“But how are we supposed to make him spill the beans?”

Knight:

“You can start by not spreading them on his toast!”

Manny:

“Oh please don’t they’re tastier than the hagfish Karrg insists on feeding me.”

Knight:

“Ok enough Mr. Nice Skeleton you traitor!”

Knight slams his hands on the table and points threateningly in Manny’s face.

Knight:

“Talk, what is Karrg planning! Why us? Why here!? Why you!?”

Manny:

“Uhhh in this order: World domination. You tecnicos are scrubs. Your company’s full of weirdos who’d sign up for the first thing. And I plead the fifth.”

Devilfish:

“You can plead as many times you want the verdict is guilty of treason against all that’s good and just!”

Manny:

“You’re literally on the same team as a guy who’s tried to end your career multiple times.”

Buster:

“Oh dang, sorry about that, Mr. Fish.”

Knight:

“NOT YOU! And that’s besides the point, everyone knows I’m the fun kind of villain. You can play dumb all you like Man O’War, but know this, we’re winning this war and sending Karrg packing! So long as I’m here no alien invader will end up a ZEN Master champion!”

Manny laughs. Loudly.

Buster:

“Ha ha ha...I don’t get it, what’s so funny.”

Manny:

“Him! He’s the funny one. No Alien Invader’s going to be ZEN Master? Too late for that, you bonehead.”

Knight:

“Explain.”

Manny:

“Oh it’ll all come together before long, Karrg wasn’t the first but he will be the last, his brother shall be surpassed, mark...my...words…ahem. Leave me to my breakfast, please.”

Knight, Fish, and Buster look among themselves, suddenly having more questions from this interrogation than answers.

vs

Damian Dastardly vs Killer B

With Dastardly's stated goal being to ruin Killer B’s life, it’s understandable that this clash was quite personal. It was no surprise that the Faithful threw in their lot with homegrown hero B rather than the card carrying villain in Dastardly and that support kept B from the brink of defeat multiple times as Damian elected for a weardown strategy trying to choke the very life out of the tecnico. But with the fans behind him and the heart of a true hero, Killer B rallied again and again and put Dastardly on the defense with high-flying maneuvers that visibly started to frustrate the heir apparent to Skullduggery. It takes everything Dastardly has to keep himself in the game and a dirty eye poke seems to tee B up for a Dastardly Cunning but-NO! B reverses it into a backslide for the surprise three count!

WINNER VIA PINFALL: KILLER B!

The match is over and-

Damian:

“WHAT!?”

-Dastardly is-

Damian:

“WHAAAAT!?”

-decidedly-

Damian:

“WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT!? WHAT!? WHAT!? WHAT!? WHAAAAT!?”

Unhappy. He starts arguing with Steven Yale, hurling verbal abuse at the Referee even as he raises B’s arm. Enraged far more than anyone’s ever seen him, Dastardly throws a swing at B who ducks and dives into the audience, smiling wide with them as Dastardly eventually is forced to the back in the midst of a tantrum.

ZEN MASTER TITLE MATCH

VS

Cyanide vs LORD ZERO (c )

Accompanied by his loyal minion Rekha, Cyanide is in good spirits for this bout while the ZEN Master seems downright stoic in contrast. Sparky theorizes something about that friend crack got to the champ but the Voice overhears and shouts him down from ringside, forcing the announcer to renege of his analysis. The match is a technical one and the fans are quite split on who to cheer for considering...y’know they’re both rather horrible people. Still, for all their heinous deeds both men are talented competitors and the match goes at a breakneck pace, intermingling technical exchanges with salvos of high-flying lucha acrobatics. Both seconds on the outside make their presences felt but Rekha proves her inexperience as a heavy when Herbie H. Reedman catches her put Cyanide’s boot on the bottom rope to break up a pin and ejects her from ringside to her master’s protests. The Voice, meanwhile plays mind games with the challenger, threatening to get involved as a distraction again and against o buy his master time. Finally a missed lariat from Cyanide almost takes out Reedman who ducks out of the way and into the arms of LORD ZERO. ZERO ‘checks’ (read: intensely glares into the face of) Reedman while The Voice springs up onto the apron and grabs Cyanide’s mask, twisting it around in an ironic echo of Skullduggery’s match winning strategy in the tag two months ago! Cyanide is blind as a bat and easy pray to the ZERO HOUR, tapping in short order after it is applied! The crowd boos the victorious champion, though Dustin Thane dismisses them as ending up unhappy no matter the result of this matchup.

WINNER BY SUBMISSION AND STILL ZEN MASTER CHAMPION: LORD ZERO

Pteroid · November 25, 2021

ZEN Presents:

WAY OF THE PHILOSOPHER

Live from Christchurch

MAIN EVENT ZEN MASTER TITLE MATCH

LORD ZERO © VS Killer B

HARMONY TITLE MATCH

The Ghost Hunters © vs Warp Jump

Kalliope Woodchuck, Vertigo, & Buckminster Snark

vs

Skullduggery (Cyanide, Rekha, Lerone Slim)

Karrg's Raygun on the Line

Crimebuster vs Jester

Exhibition Match

Stuntwoman & Starlet "The Cat" Harper Reid vs Dazzler

The Alien Vanguard vs Halloween Knight & Devilfish

Also Featuring ZERO League Matches...

C-W-A vs Urban Fox

Hack the Hunter vs Maelstrom

Dizzy G & D-Pod vs "Nasty" Nathan Rigger & Simon McBain

Kiwi Cool Kaia Marshall vs Shaolin

Big Roguey · November 25, 2021

ZEN Presents:

WAY OF THE PHILOSOPHER

Live from Christchurch

MAIN EVENT ZEN MASTER TITLE MATCH

LORD ZERO © VS Killer B

B is for Banished!

HARMONY TITLE MATCH

The Ghost Hunters © vs Warp Jump

Kalliope Woodchuck, Vertigo, & Buckminster Snark

vs

Skullduggery (Cyanide, Rekha, Lerone Slim)

Karrg's Raygun on the Line

Crimebuster vs Jester

Exhibition Match

Stuntwoman & Starlet "The Cat" Harper Reid vs Dazzler

The Alien Vanguard vs Halloween Knight & Devilfish

Also Featuring ZERO League Matches...

C-W-A vs Urban Fox

Hack the Hunter vs Maelstrom

Dizzy G & D-Pod vs "Nasty" Nathan Rigger & Simon McBain

Kiwi Cool Kaia Marshall vs Shaolin

KyTeran · November 26, 2021

MAIN EVENT ZEN MASTER TITLE MATCH

LORD ZERO © VS Killer B

HARMONY TITLE MATCH

The Ghost Hunters © vs Warp Jump

Kalliope Woodchuck, Vertigo, & Buckminster Snark

vs

Skullduggery (Cyanide, Rekha, Lerone Slim)

Karrg's Raygun on the Line

Crimebuster vs Jester

Exhibition Match

Stuntwoman & Starlet "The Cat" Harper Reid vs Dazzler

The Alien Vanguard vs Halloween Knight & Devilfish

Also Featuring ZERO League Matches...

C-W-A vs Urban Fox

Hack the Hunter vs Maelstrom

Dizzy G & D-Pod vs "Nasty" Nathan Rigger & Simon McBain

Kiwi Cool Kaia Marshall vs Shaolin

Tiberious · November 26, 2021

ZEN Presents:

WAY OF THE PHILOSOPHER

Live from Christchurch

MAIN EVENT ZEN MASTER TITLE MATCH

LORD ZERO © VS Killer B

I like Killer B, but LORD ZERO is awesome and isn't losing here.

HARMONY TITLE MATCH

The Ghost Hunters © vs Warp Jump

Guru is the X-Factor, though part of me thinks with the utter lack of face teams in ZEN you might eventually have him betray Warp Jump to turn them babyface.

Kalliope Woodchuck, Vertigo, & Buckminster Snark

vs

Skullduggery (Cyanide, Rekha, Lerone Slim)

This feels like the kind of match either side could win without hurting anyone, so I'll go against the consensus and have Skullduggery lose. They did annoy the voice of LORD ZERO, so I could see there being some retaliation here.

Karrg's Raygun on the Line

Crimebuster vs Jester

If you have a lineup of three names who are going after the hero it would be a bit anticlimactic to have the first one win it.

Exhibition Match

Stuntwoman & Starlet "The Cat" Harper Reid vs Dazzler

Rekha winning 2vs1 matches makes sense. Dazzler not so much.

The Alien Vanguard vs Halloween Knight & Devilfish

Hard to bet against two of your three top babyfaces.

Also Featuring ZERO League Matches...

C-W-A vs Urban Fox

You clearly see upside in Fox, but I think C-W-A winning by chicanery will make Fox's eventual triumph mean more. Plus C-W-A is a fun character.

Hack the Hunter vs Maelstrom

Kind of a coinflip with the two big men.

Dizzy G & D-Pod vs "Nasty" Nathan Rigger & Simon McBain

D-Team finally gets a match they can win and hopefully show off a bit more of their personality in the process.

Kiwi Cool Kaia Marshall vs Shaolin

I like Shaolin, but I suspect he's simply here as someone with name value to the ZEN crowd who can put over the new talent you're looking to push.

HiPlus · November 27, 2021

MAIN EVENT ZEN MASTER TITLE MATCH

LORD ZERO © VS Killer B

Poor Killer B, about to know the real meaning of pain.

HARMONY TITLE MATCH

The Ghost Hunters © vs Warp Jump

Ghost Hunters had a big win, and that continues with the drama between Warp-Jump and their manager.

Kalliope Woodchuck, Vertigo, & Buckminster Snark

vs

Skullduggery (Cyanide, Rekha, Lerone Slim)

Cyanide without his right hand man gets upset here against Woodchuck and co.

Karrg's Raygun on the Line

Crimebuster vs Jester

This is such a good storyline to help build Crimebuster up.

Exhibition Match

Stuntwoman & Starlet "The Cat" Harper Reid vs Dazzler

I don't know the others, but Dazzler has had a showing.

The Alien Vanguard vs Halloween Knight & Devilfish

Knight and Devilfish prove too much.

Also Featuring ZERO League Matches...

C-W-A vs Urban Fox

Urban Fox lets go

Hack the Hunter vs Maelstrom

Maelstrom via. distraction with Blue Flea

Dizzy G & D-Pod vs "Nasty" Nathan Rigger & Simon McBain

Kiwi Cool Kaia Marshall vs Shaolin

christmas_ape · November 27, 2021

MAIN EVENT ZEN MASTER TITLE MATCH

LORD ZERO © VS Killer B

HARMONY TITLE MATCH

The Ghost Hunters © vs Warp Jump

Kalliope Woodchuck, Vertigo, & Buckminster Snark

vs

Skullduggery (Cyanide, Rekha, Lerone Slim)

Karrg's Raygun on the Line

Crimebuster vs Jester

Exhibition Match

Stuntwoman & Starlet "The Cat" Harper Reid vs Dazzler

The Alien Vanguard vs Halloween Knight & Devilfish

Also Featuring ZERO League Matches...

C-W-A vs Urban Fox

Hack the Hunter vs Maelstrom

Dizzy G & D-Pod vs "Nasty" Nathan Rigger & Simon McBain

Kiwi Cool Kaia Marshall vs Shaolin

Finally got round to reading the previous show. So much to love about it. So many great lines, great storylines, everything.

Pteroid · November 28, 2021

ZERO LEAGUE

Attendance: 561

Prior to the beginning of the show, The Voice of ZERO announced that the Buchanan Bros. were supposed to face D-Pod & Dizzy G but the two of them have disappeared. Normally LORD ZERO could compel them to face their battle and possible banishment but something...or someone has been keeping him from pulling them into his realm. He tells the audience to make no mistake, no matter where they run, they will be found…

Shaolin vs Kiwi Cool Kaia Marshall

The impressive newcomer from last month faced off with a savvy veteran in Shaolin. Ms. Marshall’s easy breezy approach to the ring seemed to unnerve the Funky Warrior Monk as he couldn’t come to grips with her the entire bout, which led to him getting taken by complete surprise when she clocked him with a disaster kick to secure a shocking victory.

Winner via Pinfall: Kaia Marshall

Dizzy G & D-Pod vs Nathan Rigger & Simon McBain

The replacements for the Buchanan Bros. were edgy hardcore brawler Simon McBain and generally sour pugilist Nathan Rigger who took an instant dislike to the free-wheeling duo of Dizzy and D-Pod who were spending more than half the match trying to sell fans at ringside from bootleg Urban Fox merch. When the Voice eventually forced the duo into facing their enemies the frustration mounted from their antics proved to be McBain and Rigger’s undoing as a double sunset flip got the pin for G and D.

Winners via Pinfall: Dizzy G & D-Pod

Maelstrom w/Dr. Taddeus Trollson vs Hack The Hunter

This match is violent. Yeah, understatement, but the two largest competitors in the ZERO LEAGUE clashed in an unhinged fistfight that saw them brawling all over ringside. Of note was Dr. Trollson trying to get involved several times only to immediately break off when first Hack, then Maelstrom, then both gave him a death glare and forced him to retreat back to being Maelstrom’s cheering section. The end finally mercifully came when Maelstrom grabbed a chair from ringside and walked directly into a Pounce from Hack as he went to swing it, leaving both laid out on the ground with no way to return to the ring before the ref’s ten count, resulting in a frustrating draw to this encounter.

NO CONTEST VIA DOUBLE COUNT OUT

Urban Fox vs Clown With Attitude

The main event of this ZERO LEAGUE saw CWA coming down to the League as LORD ZERO’s muscle in the face of Urban Fox’s rebellion. The fans on his side, Fox made more than a few feints at charging ZERO’s throne but Clown proved more than a handful for the rebellious rookie, matching Fox’s charismatic stylings with hard (shiny red) nosed brawling and quite a few rudo tricks peppered in. However, the power of the Faithful’s belief shone in Fox as he rallied again and again to overcome the Clown’s brute strength, seemingly poised to achieve victory with his trademark Impact DDT...until Clown hit a blatant low blow for a DQ.

WINNER VIA DISQUALIFICATION: URBAN FOX

While LORD ZERO and the Voice look on from the throne, C-W-A commences a full on beating on Urban Fox, retrieving a chair to slam into Fox’s back. Looking back to ZERO for approval, CWA steps aside as the ZEN Master stands and begins to make his way to the ring...the fans are in an uproar at the idea ZERO will banish Fox despite not losing the match until-

“Not today, eh!”

-’Canadian’ Dragon slips into the ring and scoops up Urban Fox. The Voice howls in outrage as ZERO & CWA try to give chase but Dragon shoves referee Herbie H. Reedman into them with his foot and slips out of the ring with Fox. The ZERO LEAGUE ends with LORD ZERO and his hired goon furious that Fox has escaped them…

Pteroid · November 28, 2021

<div style="text-align:center;"><img alt="coEEGab.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/coEEGab.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

ZEN Presents:

WAY OF THE PHILOSOPHER

Live From Christchurch

Attendance: 561

<img alt="q8pE1RE.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/q8pE1RE.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /><img alt="NlDrj55.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/NlDrj55.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />vs<img alt="yUvNFkU.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/yUvNFkU.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /><img alt="OEuXZb8.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/OEuXZb8.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

Halloween Knight & Devilfish vs The Alien Vanguard

Starting things off hot with a grudge match after last month’s screwjob perpetrated on the vets by Laguna and Beetle, both teams came into this fists at the ready. Even the usually acrobatic Devilfish was more keen on strikes than his usual crowd-pleasing antics, which put him at a disadvantage against the much more rumble-ready Vanguard but he made up for it with the tenacity that made him a three time ZEN Master! In the end with the shocking absence of support from their Overlord, Karrg, the aliens fell victim to a Fish Finger Shuffle from Devil that secured victory for the tecnicos.

WINNERS VIA PINFALL: HALLOWEEN KNIGHT AND DEVILFISH

Backstage we see a meeting of the usual suspects, well, usual for ZEN at least.

<img alt="GN3SMS0.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/GN3SMS0.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

“Mine students tonight is the night, the night that we once again assume primacy over the Harmony division!”

<img alt="CRgarZR.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/CRgarZR.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

“Easy there you old blowhard, repeat yourself much more and you’ll end up like that freak helping ZERO.”

Vishni:

Yes yes quite quite...god but I’d love that gig-ahem! Not that serving you two hasn’t been the most fulfilling of duties, perish the thought.”

<img alt="e0Y8gaT.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/e0Y8gaT.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

“The point, please.”

Vishni:

“Ah, direct as usual. BEHOLD!”

Vishni plops down an absurdly huge book on a nearby table, flipping it open and donning a pair of half-moon glasses like an elderly library.

Toady:

“Where the heck’d you get that from?”

Vishni:

“This Tome of ancient spells? My dear amphibian, it is a most sordid tale of dark pacts and backalley dealings, of stabbed backs and-”

HalloWarped:

“You realize we can see the Tigris Receipt you’re using as a bookmark, right?”

Vishni:

“I did not, no.”

Toady:

“Eh, can’t get much darker than giving Geoff Bozos money I guess. So this is gonna help us win tonight?”

Vishni:

“Indeed, I have discovered a most delectably devilish ritual within this volume of ancient rudo lore. Tonight the Harmony Titles return to Guru Vishni!”

Toady and Warped glare at their manager.

Vishni:

“And yourselves, of course, how could I forget?”

Vishni grabs his book and commences lugging it behind him as his charges storm off.

<img alt="oE5xeY5.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/oE5xeY5.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />vs<img alt="yN4c4If.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/yN4c4If.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

“The Cat” Harper Reid vs Dazzler

Stuntwoman turned actress turned wrestler Harper Reid received an exceedingly positive reaction from the fans happy to see one of the island’s favorite daughters performing in front of them. Dazzler for his part was not keen on sharing the spotlight (ignoring the fact he’s never so much as sniffed the spotlight in his life) and tried an aggressive strategy of blitzing Harper with as many attacks as he could between bouts of looking at Trevor and Spider at ringside for approval. His two confederates meanwhile were more set on giving one another manicures on the outside and were generally dismissive of their lackey’s efforts, not that he seemed to notice as the momentum quickly shifted to Reid’s side. Showing the acrobatic skills of a fighter half her age (and twice her experience probably), she outmaneuvered and outfought Dazzler until finally putting him away with a picture perfect shiranui to secure victory.

WINNER VIA PINFALL: HARPER REID

Harper has little time to celebrate her victory before-

<img alt="IzaX22J.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/IzaX22J.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

“Hey!”

Pink Spider and Trevor enter the ring, the latter stepping over the downed Dazzler (the former stepping ON him), mics in hand.

Spider:

“You must think you’re something special, swooping in here and defeating total scru-I mean determined competitor like our poor Snazzler-”

Dazzler:

“Dazzler…”

Spider:

“-here, but I’m not going to let the honor of ZEN get sullied by an outsider like you! Oh no no no, since my dance card is cleared after dealing with that despicable milk cretin I’m more than happy to wipe the mat with you. So what do you say, kitty cat, care to face the spider~?”

Harper taps her chin, smirks, and shrugs. Giving a thumbs up.

Spider:

“Then it’s a date, hope your makeup’s a bit more classy by then, toodles~! Come on, boys, I’ve got to commission a victory outfit...and a crying towel for Ms. Reid~”

Spider leaves the ring, Dazzler limping after her. Trev makes to follow them...then swoops in with a pen and paper next to Harper.

Trevor:

“Gorrillacide 2 is my favorite movie ever, can I have your autograph-?”

Spider:

“TREVVY!”

Trevor:

“Darn.”

Trevor quickly runs after the now miffed Pink and Reid waves to the fans before making her own exit.

<img alt="JNyY1MY.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/JNyY1MY.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

“Holy Space Smoke was that Harper Reid? Er-I mean, KYAAAAAHAKHAKHAK! TREMBLE, EARTHLINGS! It is I, Karrg the Conqueror here to deliver doom upon all of you! By proxy! With this clown I got!”

<img alt="9y2TGNU.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/9y2TGNU.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

Pictured: That clown he got. Well, Jester really.

The crowd boos the return of noted rudo Jester.

Karrg:

“Oh you’ve met? Then introductions aren’t necessary! Long story short this fellow’s gonna get my raygun back for me and become Commodore of my Armada! Clowns always beat Cops, it's a scientific fact! So go forth my mercenary, go forth and get my prized possession! I’ll be over here cheering you on like so KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAKHAKHAKHAK!”

Obeying his new master, Jester marches to the ring and awaits Crimebuster’s arrival.

<img alt="9y2TGNU.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/9y2TGNU.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />vs<img alt="ZObQDCX.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/ZObQDCX.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

Jester vs Crimebuster

ZEN’s enforcer of Law, Order, and Justice arrived wary of his recent nemesis in Karrg being at ringside but once in the ring Jester’s cunning brand of brawling gave him little time to appraise the alien. Fists fly and Jester’s willingness to cheat put him ahead in the early goings, at one point even mashing Buster’s constable cap down around his neck to pound him into the mat. Buster, however, has spent month allied to and mentored by both Halloween Knight and Devilfish and he’s quick to think up a plan of counterattack by grabbing the jingly bells on Jester’s costume to nail him in the nose with a headbutt. With Jester on the backstep a sudden Spinebuster (get it?) enables Crimebuster to get the pin on his opponent and keep the raygun out of Karrg’s clutches.

WINNER VIA PINFALL: CRIMEBUSTER

Now it’s time to…

Your…

<img alt="2gqcDHr.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/2gqcDHr.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /><img alt="2gqcDHr.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/2gqcDHr.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /><img alt="2gqcDHr.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/2gqcDHr.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

THE ZEN COUNCIL

The Face(less)s That Run The Places

The guiding powers of the ZEN, the ZEN Council are said to be representatives of every ‘Way’ present in ZEN’s events with a different one leading the matchmaking process for each event-KZZT-ile their identities remain a mystery it is-KZZT-culated that each is a venerable veteran from-KZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT-

<img alt="tenor.gif" data-src="https://media1.tenor.com/images/49350a6e2c85f91c0cf8b88306fc5f95/tenor.gif" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

<img alt="5XiVaWF.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/5XiVaWF.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

“Hff...hff...hff…”

Staggering through the fog of his mysterious prison realm, Pumpkin Jack jerks his head around, expecting an attack from any and all sides. The past month has clearly not been kind to the tricky treat.

Jack:

“Come on...I know you’re out there...where are you…?”

A shadow shifts in the mist, Jack jerks around and throws a high kick that connects with nothing.

Jack:

“Stop playing games...you want a fight, monster? Let’s fight!”

As Jack limps through the mists he comes upon...a ring?

Jack:

“What in the…?”

<img alt="V2he2Ci.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/V2he2Ci.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

“RRRRAAAAAAAAAGGGHHH!”

Jack is tackled from behind by his tormentor and jailor who beats him down and tosses him into the ring. Glaring at his prisoner, the warden snaps his fingers and-

<img alt="9drq6rO.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/9drq6rO.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

“You called, Lord Anguish?”

‘Anguish’ grunts and points at the slowly rising Pumpkin Jack in the ring, moving to enter it himself.

Refere:

“Of course, my lord, as you wish.”

The summoned referee gestures to the fog and a bell rings.

<img alt="5XiVaWF.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/5XiVaWF.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />vs<img alt="V2he2Ci.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/V2he2Ci.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

Pumpkin Jack vs Anguish

It’s pretty clear why ZERO and the Voice chose this being to be Jack’s jailer, Anguish is an untamed beast with little regard for his let alone Jack’s wellbeing. Pounding into the tricky treat with brutish animal strength, it’s a wonder how the gourd hasn’t gone the way of a watermelon at a Gallagher show in the month since we saw him last. However as a former ZEN Master, it’s foolish to count Jack out even in the most dire of circumstances and he shows the faithful of ZEN believe in him with good reason when he sidesteps a spear tackle and lets Anguish go slamming to the rough ground of the prison dimension. Slipping out onto the apron, Jack kicks a rising Anguishin the face and bolts for the turnbuckle, scaling it and leaping off of it in a pseudo-springboard crossbody that sends both men tumbling out into the mists…

Referee:

“Hm...well then...I suppose I’ll just have to wait for them to return…”

MATCH RESULT: INCONCLUSIVE

<img alt="tenor.gif" data-src="https://media1.tenor.com/images/49350a6e2c85f91c0cf8b88306fc5f95/tenor.gif" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

-and that’s how New Zealand was made! But what future will ZEN hold under the gaze of the Council? Only time will tell...if you keep watching ZEN that is!

We go from an educational segment to the Dojo of Skullduggery. The trio of students sit on a bench as Cyanide paces around in front of them.

<img alt="PpZoS1I.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/PpZoS1I.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

“Ok so I know what you’re all thinking, ‘How could I have screwed up so dang bad and made my master look like a massive loser!?’, well don’t feel too bad about it, I forgive you all.”

<img alt="J68ajg4.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/J68ajg4.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

“YOU WHAT!?”

Cyanide pulls out a megaphone.

Cyanide:

“I SAID I FORGIVE YOU FOR BEING A SCREW UP, SLIM! SHOW SOME GRATITIDUE!”

Slim:

“Gratitude!? You messed up too, man!”

Cyanide:

“That was simply a misstep, you’ve been bumbling around ever since the year began. Losing to Snark, seriously!?”

Slim:

“Hey at least I’m still in the fight, unlike some people!”

<img alt="FpL0CTl.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/FpL0CTl.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

“...”

Cyanide:

“Oh right, him. HEY!”

Damian Dastardly is wide-eyed, scrolling through his social media, muttering to himself.

Cyanide:

“DASTARDLY! LOOK AT MEEEEE!”

Damian looks up, fixing Cyanide with a thousand yard stare. The leader of Skullduggery visibly recoils.

Cyanide:

“Holy yikes, nevermind, go back to looking at your Facesquawk or whatever it is ya creepy weirdo.”

<img alt="Rr0pPST.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/Rr0pPST.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

“I dunno why ya lumping me in with these two, boss. I won against those two jay-brones last month.”

Cyanide:

“Yes you did very good, Rekha, keep up the good work sweetie.”

Slim:

“Kissass…”

Rekha:

“What was that?”

Slim:

“Nothiniwastalkinbouthim.”

Rekha:

“Ya better’ve.”

Cyanide:

“Ok look, we’re all highly strung but tonight we’re getting back on track. Those three can’t hold a candle to us. I’ll handle Vertigoon, Rekha flatten Snark, Slim show you’re conceptual title material, and Dastardly!”

Dastardly doesn’t respond.

Cyanide:

“Watch some ASMR or somethin’ to get your head right because this right here is pathetic. The only scrubs I want around here is the ones we steal when we rob hospitals for yucks. Go team!”

Rekha:

“Go team!”

Slim:

“Ugh…”

Damian:

“...no...scrubs…”

As Skullduggery tries to get their act together a wholly different scene is unfolding in the opposing locker room.

<img alt="N6Ls8cE.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/N6Ls8cE.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

“-and I say ‘Why do I have to choose between the yacht and car? I’ll have both!’”

<img alt="nKKfC5g.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/nKKfC5g.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

“Uh...huh.”

Snark:

“Oh sorry did that one not land? Here let me tell it again-”

Kalli:

“No no, I think I just need to think about that one a bit.”

Snark:

“Ah I have been told I’ve a very cerebral kind of comedy.”

Kalli:

“...by anybody you don’t pay?”

Snark:

“No, why?”

Kalli:

“No reason.”

Snark:

“In any case I do hope I can convince you to come along to SnarkCorp with me this month, our R&D is preparing some very interesting things.”

Kalli:

“I’ll think on i-”

Voice (no not THE Voice)

“GREETINGS CITIZENS!”

Kalli and Buckminster look over to see.

<img alt="DeM3lpG.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/DeM3lpG.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

“FEAR NOT I HAVE ARRIVED!”

Kalli:

“Uh, Vertigo? Why are you shouting?”

Vertigo:

“AH, DEAR WOODCHUCK, THIS IS MERELY AN EXPRESSION OF MY NEW COMMITMENT TO JUSTICE! YOU SEE WITH-”

Snark:

“Can you maybe take that down a couple notches, just for our ears’ sakes?”

Vertigo:

“Very well. You see, with my recent losses to the forces of villainy I realized it would take more than merely claiming to be a tecnico to grant me victory! Being a tecnico is about a lifestyle, a philosophy, hence my new attitude of not just being a good guy but a hero! A super hero! A hero that is super!”

Kalli:

“Oh well good for you!”

Vertigo:

“Now let us away, my fellows, to face down those nefarious Skullduggerous dogs!”

Snark:

“Uhhh Kalli you go on ahead, I need to discuss something with Vertigo here.”

Kalli:

“Alrighty, see you out there.”

Kalli heads out of the room, all smiles as Vertigo and Snark watch her go.

Snark:

“Now, were my engineers able to make the necessary alterations?”

Vertigo:

“Yes, I believe this will be a grand countermeasure against the enemy’s plans.”

Snark:

“Great great, now don’t forget your part of this deal, alright?”

Vertigo:

“I am an honest man...which is more than most can say in present company.”

Snark:

“Hey it’s not my fault it took a multimillion dollar company to c-”

Vertigo:

“HEMHEM.”

Snark:

“Just remember you owe me and that’s that. You’ll find I’m very reasonable. Now, shall we?”

Vertigo and Snark leave the locker room, intrigue thick in the air....

<img alt="PpZoS1I.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/PpZoS1I.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /><img alt="J68ajg4.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/J68ajg4.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /><img alt="Rr0pPST.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/Rr0pPST.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

vs

<img alt="nKKfC5g.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/nKKfC5g.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /><img alt="N6Ls8cE.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/N6Ls8cE.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /><img alt="DeM3lpG.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/DeM3lpG.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

Skullduggery (Cyanide, Slim, Rekha) vs Kalliope Woodchuck, Buckminster Snark, Vertigo

This trios encounter was chaotic from the word go. Between the unfinished business between Cyanide and Vertigo from the first show of the year and the ongoing issues between Casual Violence and Kalli and Buckminster, the animosity was palpable in the air. The six combatants were flying all over the place (or in the case of Rekha, making the other people in the ring fly) and actual tag team protocol was wholly ignored in favor of inflicting as much violence on the opposing team as possible. As things wore on it became increasingly clear that cracks were beginning to form in the solidarity of Skullduggery and this shown when Casual Violence started an argument on the outside over who was going to finish off a downed Kalliope. This gave Buckminster the chance to dive off the apron and take them both out, leaving only Vertigo and Cyanide in the ring. Eager to defeat the artist of the airways again, Cyanide yanked Vertigo’s mask around…

Only to find that it’d be fitted with two mesh eye holes on the back side! The rudo barely had time to register this before getting blasted by a super and a radar leg drop that scored victory for the tecnico squad.

WINNERS VIA PINFALL: KALLI, BUCK, & VERTIGO

Backstage we see two of the warriors defending ZEN locked in conversation:

<img alt="q8pE1RE.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/q8pE1RE.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

“Still can’t get anything out of him, huh?”

<img alt="NlDrj55.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/NlDrj55.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

“No, he’s pretty adamant that he’s told everything he’s going to. It still boggles my mind how he of all people turned on us…”

Knight:

“Eh, it’s the nature of the beast-at least as far as my career’s gone.”

Devilfish:

“That’s because you’ve betrayed and been betrayed by half the people on the roster…”

Knight:

“It comes with the territory of being a puckish rogue. But something’s still bothering me about all this.”

Devilfish:

“What?”

Knight:

“Who in the heck was this brother of Karrg’s? Someone who held the Master title narrows it down but still.”

Devilfish:

“...ZERO?”

Knight:

“Nah nah, I think Karrg would’ve been sent on a oneway trip to banishtown if ZERO was his brother. I’ll think more on this, keep an eye on Manny and keep pumping him for info, alright?”

Devil nods and neither of them notice someone peering around the corner at this seen.

<img alt="JNyY1MY.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/JNyY1MY.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

“So this is where they’ve squirreled him away...kyahakhakhak…”

ZEN HARMONY TITLE MATCH

<img alt="0VA7dS4.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/0VA7dS4.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

<img alt="e0Y8gaT.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/e0Y8gaT.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /><img alt="CRgarZR.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/CRgarZR.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />vs<img alt="eBcC1p1.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/eBcC1p1.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /><img alt="71cUXDQ.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/71cUXDQ.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

Warp Jump vs The Ghost Hunters (c )

Another clash of rudos in the Harmony division and two particularly devious teams at that. The Hunters still have ill will for picking the bones of Halloween Knight last month and Warp Jump’s association with Guru Vishni have never done them any favors. Hyde and Strange’s innate tag team chemistry proved a massive obstacle for the more experienced team but they still hung their own with the champs through the sheer power of the athleticism and devious natures, foiling attempts at The Cleansing several times of the course of the fight. The real story however was on the outside as Guru Vishni followed the instructions of his gigantic book to perform some sort of ritual, which seemed to be going swimmingly until Bruce Strange found himself on the apron and got dropkicked into the whole mess of candles and various bits of paraphernalia setup at ringside...and it happens.

Lightning strikes.

Thunder rolls.

And the lights go out.

When they come back on someone is standing in the middle of the ring. Strange and yet familiar at the same time…

<img alt="bI7Mfua.png" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/bI7Mfua.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

“WHEREST THE DEVIL AM I!?”

This Bruce Stranger looks around in an odd suit of armor, much to the confusion of his partner, his opponents, and the fans in general. Mister Hyde goes to put a hand on his shoulder-

“UNHANDST ME, OGRE!”

Strange backhands his partner with a gauntlet and sends him reeling, fleeing from the ring. Taking advantage of this situation, HalloWarped nails Hyde with a dropsault that sets him up for the Super Frog Splash from Toady for the victory! We have new Harmony Champs!

WINNERS AND NEW HARMONY CHAMPIONS: WARP JUMP!

Vishni scrambles into the ring to raise his charges’ hands and the belts while Hyde rolls out, looking around for Strange. He finds him at the stage, prodding a light with a broadsword of some kind, but as soon as he sees the big man on his way he flees backstage. Everyone involved has little time to process this mess before it’s time for our Main Event!

MASTER TITLE MATCH

<img alt="80yJNSe.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/80yJNSe.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

<img alt="TQVMaza.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/TQVMaza.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />vs<img alt="V8RPI00.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/V8RPI00.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

Killer B vs LORD ZERO (c )

Going into this bout with the momentum of a victory over Damian Dastardly, B made a ready challenger for LORD ZERO. Defiant against the taunts of the Voice at ringside and with the fans behind him, B launched himself into this bout for a high-octane clash that left the fans on their feet the entire time. The momentum shifted like a pendulum back and forth as ZERO tried to first out acrobat then wear down his opponent, struggling to deal with the determination and pure energy of his foe. In fact you could count the amount of times it seemed like we would see a new champion on both hands, including a B Sting that it took Voice pulling ZERO from the ring to keep from happening. As Voice tried to revive his master on the outside, B scaled to the top rope and launched himself with a Swanton Bomb that ZERO avoided but the Voice did not.

Trying to take advantage of the situation, ZERO shoved B back into the ring and dragged him to his knees to begin slamming knees into his face once, twice, three times before going for a roundhouse kick-which B ducked! A swift roll up resulted in another nearfall that put ZERO on the backfoot once more, stumbling back behind Steven Yale before shoving him forcefully into B. B deftly sidestepped first Yale then the superkick ZERO sent his way after, slipping behind the champ-but he didn’t notice the pair of hands grasping his ankles from below the apron. A swift yank slammed him chin first on the mat and he was quickly dragged to the center for the ZERO HOUR! The crowd howled their outrage as the culprit was revealed:

<img alt="FpL0CTl.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/FpL0CTl.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

An exceptionally deranged looking Damian Dastardly.

The crowd attempted to rally their hero but ZERO kept the hold in tight, squeezing like a murderer with a victim tight in his grasp. There is no tap out but Yale raises B’s hand once...twice...three times and it’s over a victory by Knockout for the Master.

WINNER VIA KNOCKOUT AND STILL ZEN MASTER CHAMPION: LORD ZERO

ZERO and The Voice exit ringside, triumphant again as their unlikely ally swoops in with a microphone, kneeling next to the prone and ko’d B and lifting him up by the hair.

Dastardly:

“You feel that, B-boy? Experience it, bathe in it. That’s the feeling of the world putting itself right! You aren’t a Bee, you’re a worm, you’re beneath the likes of ZERO and you’re very much beneath me! You see this was supposed to be fun, you were going to be my fun toy but what do you do with a toy that hurts you? You SEND IT BACK TO THE FACTORY so it can be BROKEN APART and MELTED DOWN to SLAG! I’m going to crush you, B, I’m going to end you and every person who ever considered themselves a fan of you won’t even bother to show their face in public for being laughed out of town! You should’ve just left when I gave you the chance because oh my god...oh I always knew I was going to hell but now? Oh I’m going to the deepest darkest ring for what I’m gonna do to you. Heh...hehehehehahahahahahahahAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

Dastardly slams B’s face into the mat and rolls out, eye twitching as he stumbles towards the back.</div>

Pteroid · November 28, 2021

<div style="text-align:center;"><img alt="onFvkyw.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/onFvkyw.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

ZEN Presents:

WAY OF THE POET

Live from Wellington

ZEN Master Title Three-Way

LORD ZERO © vs Devilfish vs Halloween Knight

Harper Reid vs Pink Spider

Harmony Title Rematch

Warp-Jump © vs The Ghost Hunters

Vertigo vs Cyanide

Karrg's Raygun on the Line

Crimebuster vs Bile

Conceptual Title Match (Snark & Slim banned from ringside)

Kalliope Woodchuck © vs Rekha

Karrg the Conqueror vs Shaolin

Also Featuring ZERO LEAGUE Matches

Urban Fox & 'Canuckian' Dragon vs CWA & Auckland Raider

Dizzy G & D-Pod vs The Alien Vanguard

Luchatron vs Dazzler

Kiwi Cool Kaia Marshall vs Tremolo Rif</div>

Tiberious · November 29, 2021

ZEN Presents:

WAY OF THE POET

Live from Wellington

ZEN Master Title Three-Way

LORD ZERO © vs Devilfish vs Halloween Knight

Devilfish and Halloween Knight are too embroiled with Karrg to take down LORD ZERO so easily.

Harper Reid vs Pink Spider

I think Spider can steal a win with some help from his partner.

Harmony Title Rematch

Warp-Jump © vs The Ghost Hunters

Can't see the Ghost Hunters winning the titles back so soon, but I am interested to see what's next with this new persona for Bruce Strange.

Vertigo vs Cyanide

I have to take Cyanide here, but I do like the direction you are going with Vertigo. I could see him and Crimebuster being a fun duo.

Karrg's Raygun on the Line

Crimebuster vs Bile

I would love for someone to try to turn Bile into a star, but that is not this day.

Conceptual Title Match (Snark & Slim banned from ringside)

Kalliope Woodchuck © vs Rekha

Rekha is cool, but I don't think it's time for Woodchuck to lose just yet.

Karrg the Conqueror vs Shaolin

Shaolin has no chance here, but at least Crimebuster has ensured he won't be vaporized.

Also Featuring ZERO LEAGUE Matches

Urban Fox & 'Canuckian' Dragon vs CWA & Auckland Raider

Auckland Raider is the weak link here.

Dizzy G & D-Pod vs The Alien Vanguard

If this was just my own personal preference I'd go with the Alien Vanguard, but you're going to need babyface tag teams to face Warp Jump and a win here would put the D-Team into contention.

Luchatron vs Dazzler

I like Luchatron, but he's still just Blue Flea under hthere.

Kiwi Cool Kaia Marshall vs Tremolo Rif

I don't know what a Tremolo Rif is.

Hitman74 · November 29, 2021

ZEN Master Title Three-Way

LORD ZERO © vs Devilfish vs Halloween Knight

Harper Reid vs Pink Spider

Harmony Title Rematch

Warp-Jump © vs The Ghost Hunters

Vertigo vs Cyanide

Karrg's Raygun on the Line

Crimebuster vs Bile

Conceptual Title Match (Snark & Slim banned from ringside)

Kalliope Woodchuck © vs Rekha

Karrg the Conqueror vs Shaolin

Also Featuring ZERO LEAGUE Matches

Urban Fox & 'Canuckian' Dragon vs CWA & Auckland Raider

Dizzy G & D-Pod vs The Alien Vanguard

Luchatron vs Dazzler

Kiwi Cool Kaia Marshall vs Tremolo Rif

KyTeran · November 29, 2021

ZEN Master Title Three-Way

LORD ZERO © vs Devilfish vs Halloween Knight

Harper Reid vs Pink Spider

Harmony Title Rematch

Warp-Jump © vs The Ghost Hunters

Vertigo vs Cyanide

Karrg's Raygun on the Line

Crimebuster vs Bile

Conceptual Title Match (Snark & Slim banned from ringside)

Kalliope Woodchuck © vs Rekha

Karrg the Conqueror vs Shaolin

Also Featuring ZERO LEAGUE Matches

Urban Fox & 'Canuckian' Dragon vs CWA & Auckland Raider

Dizzy G & D-Pod vs The Alien Vanguard

Luchatron vs Dazzler

Kiwi Cool Kaia Marshall vs Tremolo Rif

Pteroid · December 3, 2021

WRESTLE-HEADLINES

ALL HEADLINES ALL THE TIME!

ZEN EDITION!

B INJURED, DASTARDLY SUSPENDED AFTER POST-MATCH ATTACK! SUSPENSION AND LENGTH OF HOSPITILZATION CONVENINETLY THE SAME!

CRAZED MAN IN ARMOR MENACES ENTIRE ISLAND OF NEW ZEALAND, ANGRILY SHOUTING OF HUNTING GOBLINS AND/OR GHOSTS, WILL SETTLE FOR GHOULS!

MOLLY CUDDLE RETURNS FROM VACATION, STATEMENT: "Can't wait to hear all about how everything is just how I left it while I take this big drink of water-PFFFFTTTTTTT!"

HARPER REID SET TO START FILMING OF 'GORILLACIDE VI: THIS TIME IT'S PERSONAL' AFTER WAY OF THE POET

WHERE THE #$%@ IS PUMPKIN JACK ANYWAY!?

Pteroid · December 4, 2021

ZERO LEAGUE

Live From Wellington

Attendance: 580

The latest ZERO LEAGUE opened not with an introduction by the Voice but-

“GREETING PARAMETERS SET TO ON!”

Whatever the heck this lady was supposed to be. Apparently with parts of her skin peeling off to reveal circuitry, the mysterious (and loud) woman walked to the ring with a mic in hand.

Woman:

“STARE IN BEHOLDMENT, FLESHBEINGS, BEFORE YOU STANDS THE PERFECTION OF MATTER.”

Ok well that seemed like a booable statement so the fans did just that.

Woman:

“BYEHEEHEEHEE, YES BOO, BOO AT THAT WHICH YOUR PRIMITIVAL PROCESSORS CANNOT POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND. THIS UNIT HAS NOT EVEN INTROLUCIDATED HERSELF YET! REMAIN STARING IN BEHOLDMENT FOR THIS UNIT IS TREMOLO RIF, INTERGALACTIC BOUNTY HUNTRESS AND THE CULMINATION OF ALL TECHNOILLOGICAL PROGRESSMENT ACROSS THE MULTIUNIOMNIVERSE!”

Fan:

“Why are you talking like that!?”

Tremolo Rif:

“YOUR ENGLISH LINGUISTAGE IS PATHETIC AND FRAIL, TREMOLO RIF’S PERFECTIONAL OPERATIONING SYSTEMS HAVE IMPROVED UPON ITS EFFICIENCIES A THOUSAND FOLD! BUT YOUR ACCENTS ARE STILL RIDICULOUS! GROVEL IN THE SEDIMENTARY LIKE THE WORMS YOU ARE, FOR-”

“Uh, hey dude? You’re at about a twelve, we’re gonna need you to half that. Like for real, chill.”

During all of this Kiwi Cool Kaia Marshall had made her way out to the ring and managed to grab her own mic.

Tremolo Rif:

“MY COOLANT SUBSYSTEMS ARE OPERATIONING AT MAXIMUM EFFICIENCY! YOU CHILL!”

Marshall:

“Somehow I don’t think that’s true…”

Tremolo:

“ENOUGH, PREPARE FOR EXTERMININCTION!”

Tremolo Rif vs Kaia Marshall

Tremolo Rif is...intense. Like absurdly so, far more than the loosey goosey stylings of Marshall are ready for. While Kaia manages to get some good shots in, including a nasty kick to the side that seemed to stop Rif a lot more than anyone expected. Still, Rif certainly backs up her claims of being a perfect being when she nails Kaia with a discus lariat that turns her inside out and secures the win for the terrifying robot Bounty Huntress.

WINNER VIA PINFALL: TREMOLO RIF

Luchatron vs Dazzler

From an impressive robot to an exceedingly unimpressive one, Luchatron put on an extremely unimpressive performance which caused his creator Dr. Trollson no end of embarrassment. Dazzler is far from the most dangerous of competitors and even he manages to handle Luchatron with ease, eventually putting him away with a swinging neckbreaker. Dr. Trollson gives some terrified looks LORD ZERO’s way but the ZEN Master seems to have his mind elsewhere, allowing the bad doc to gather up his creation before someone could press the issue.

WINNER VIA PINFALL: DAZZLER

DIZZY G & D-POD vs The Alien Vanguard

A team gathering steam in the ZERO LLEAGUE against one that just lost a major bout on the main show, the always irrepressible hustlers were selling rolls of ‘pre-hatted’ tinfoil to the crowd to ‘block alien zeta waves, dog’ before Beetle and Laguna waylaid them at ringside. Seemingly eager to get back in the good graces of their overlord, the Vanguard laid into the duo with aggressive power moves. However their haste became their undoing as D&G managed to reverse stereo powerbombs into a pair of victory rolls locking arms together to cinch in the pins all the tighter for a surprise upset victory that leaves the Vanguard stunned and furious.

WINNERS VIA PINFALL: DIZZY G & D-POD

URBAN FOX & CANUCKIAN DRAGON VS C-W-A & AUCKLAND RAIDER

In the main event for this month’s ZERO LEAGUE we got a bout that was very much sink or swim for one of the teams. C-W-A & Auckland Raider were seemingly on their last chance to take down the rebellious duo of Fox and Dragon for LORD ZERO and everyone knew the consequences for failure. Fox and Dragon’s momentum and support from the Faithful took them far in the early goings but if there’s one thing that is exceedingly dangerous when backed into a corner it’s a clown. C-W-A proved this point when he directed Raider to distract Steven Yale and pulled a boxing glove out of his baggy trousers and clocked Fox across the face with it! With his primary target on dream street, C-W-A chucked the glove out of the ring and followed it up with a YaKlownza Kick to put Fox out entirely, Auckland Raider tackling Canuckian Dragon to keep him from interfering with the pin.

WINNERS VIA PINFALL: AUCKLAND RAIDER AND C-W-A

Raider struggles with and drags Dragon out of the ring as C-W-A stands over the fallen Fox. Looking to the throne he is rewarded with LORD ZERO standing up and stalking towards the ring with the Voice in tow. Directing C-W-A to hold Fox up it’s pretty clear we’re about to see a banishment take place. However as ZERO rushed forward to slam a knee into Fox’s chin, Dragon breaks free of Raider, slips into the ring and dives in the way-

KRAK!

Dragon slumps to the mat, the assembled Rudos looking down on him with disgust. The Voice moves to announce him banished…but ZERO directs Raider to pull him back up. He regards both of the rebels and shakes his head, preparing to destroy them-

“Zero.”

ZERO is stopped in his tracks as a woman’s voice comes over the speaker system.

“This isn’t you, Zero.”

The people in the ring look around, trying to find out who’s speaking.

“I can’t let you keep going down this path, I can’t let him keep poisoning you.”

In an instant the lights go out, when they come back up Fox and Dragon are gone from the ring and both ZERO and the Voice are furious. The Voice barks orders to C-W-A and Raider who go charging to the back then tries to turn to his lord, who grabs him by his robes and says something only he can hear. Together they stalk towards the back as Sparky and Dustin speculate on what just happened as the ZERO LEAGUE comes to a close.

Blake Trask · December 4, 2021

Tremolo is wonderful already.

BEHOLDMENT

Pteroid · December 4, 2021

While I work on Way of the Poet, please enjoy this:

DinoKea · December 5, 2021

Just caught up and really been enjoying this diary so far. Really fun and chaotic alongside the bonus of the NZ scene getting some love.

Pteroid · December 7, 2021

<div style="text-align:center;">Zen Presents

WAY OF THE POET

Live From Wellington

Attendance: 580

<img alt="JNyY1MY.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/JNyY1MY.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />vs<img alt="YY7sIps.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/YY7sIps.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

Karrg the Conqueror vs Shaolin

The show started off hot with the recent resurgence of Shaolin trying to stand against the dominating force known as Karrg the Conqueror. Shaolin’s ninja skills give him some early offense, especially with Karrg being clearly off kilter without his raygun, but the alien warlord counters a quick attempt at a crane kick into a Conquest Bomb! Karrg, however, isn’t keen on the defiance this ninja has shone him thusfar and hits him a second time and a third even a fourth Conquest Bomb is hit before Herbie H. Reedman threatens a DQ for excessive brutality. Karrg growls at the referee but finally pins Shaolin for a merciful finish of this match, Karrg doesn’t celebrate long before he’s off to the back, clearly to prepare his next bounty hunter to go after Crime Buster.

WINNER VIA PINFALL: KARRG THE CONQUEROR

Backstage a very angry man is on a very angry search.

<img alt="GJjgEQd.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/GJjgEQd.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

“STRANGE?! DASH IT ALL YOU FOOL WHERE ARE YOU!?”

MIster Hyde is searching the halls of the arena for his missing partner, teeth grit in fury as he storms around. Turning a corner he almost trips over someone-

<img alt="RTLqggr.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/RTLqggr.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

“GAH!”

Hyde looks down at the exceedingly tiny man.

Trollson:

“Mister Hyde, just the man I was looking for!”

Hyde:

“Oh, Dr. Trollson of the ZERO LEAGUE. Excuse me but I’ve a partner to find.”

Trollson:

“Oho that’s actually why I’m here, I’d heard of your issues with your partner.”

Hyde:

“Hm? There is no issues outside of what the blasted psychic did to him, I simply need to recover him and-”

Trollson:

“Pardon me, old bean, but I do not think that’s in the cards. Your dear deranged Strange has been all over the island it seems. Surely you’ve a need for a partner that you can depend upon.”

Hyde:

“What your pathetic machine-man? I’d like a chance, actually.”

Trollson:

“Hah, I wouldn’t dream of pawning that...mistake off on you. No no no, my more impressive creation is ready and willing for another go.”

Hyde:

“Didn’t he get put through the wringer last month? Surely he needs more time to heal.”

Trollson:

“Hah, mere men need more time to heal, Maelstrom is a construct, I merely needed to apply maintenance. You’ve seen what he can do, and he follows my commands to the letter, much more dependable than some fellow with a sudden love of the Renfaire, no?”

Hyde considers this, then shrugs.

Hyde:

“Very well, bring your monster and we shall take back what was mine.”

Trollson:

“And WILL be ours.”

Trollson skitters off as Hyde crosses his arms, more than a bit dubious about all this.

CONCEPTUAL TITLE MATCH

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With Buckminster Snark and Lerone Slim banned from ringside for this bout it seemed as though there wouldn’t be any strangeness for this bout. Still midway through her entrance Rekha suddenly slapped her neck and started acting...strange. Almost drunk it seemed as she staggered her way to the ring. A few slaps to the face seemed to get her back in the ring but when Kalli made her way out for the bout it was clear that Rekha was more than a few steps behind. Woodchuck tried multiple times to check on her opponent but was met with wild looping strikes that she was able to avoid. Eventually Kalliope managed to hit the Woodchipper on her opponent for a pinfall victory in an exceedingly confusing match.

WINNER VIA PINFALL AND STILL CONCEPTUAL CHAMPION: KALLIOPE WOODCHUCK

Post-match-

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“YO WHAT WAS THAT!?”

Lerone Slim came running down to the ring to check on Rekha, looking up incredulously at Kalliope who seems likewise concerned. Slim stood up and started questioning her angrily before-

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Buckminster Snark nailed him from behind with a clothesline, causing him to slam into Kalliope!

Snark pulled Slim off and started kicking and stomping him before Rekha managed to stand up and plow into Snark. Despite her sluggish state her weight is enough to keep her on Snark for a ground and pound before Kalliope kicked her off. The chaos eventually caused security to swarm the ring and pull all four off of each other and file them to the back…

Shortly after the quartet were marched to the back, Crimebuster stepped out to the ring, prepared to face his next challenge from-

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“I’M BACK! KYAAAAHAKHAKHAK!”

Karrg the Conqueror stormed out on stage and pointed menacingly at Buster.

Karrg:

“Alright you constabulary clown, you must think yourself powerful to defy my first bounty hunter but I have legions eager to face you! BEHOLD THE BEASTLY BILE!”

Nobody came out.

Karrg:

“Theeeeee BEASTLY BILE!”

Nothing.

Karrg:

“What in the-HEY GET OUT HERE, WHAT DO YOU THINK I’M PAYING YOU F-”

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IT’S BILE!

THUNK!

He fell flat on his face, snoring loudly.

Karrg:

“Uhhhh…”

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ERASER!?

The Extreme Mercenary did a combat roll out on stage, pointing at the fallen Bile, then at himself, then Karrg, then Crimebsuter, before finally making the money hand gesture.

Karrg:

“WORKS FOR ME, GO GET HIM! KYAAAAAHAKHAKHAK!”

Eraser stormed the ring and we had a match!

KARRG’S RAYGUN ON THE LINE

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Eraser vs Crimebuster

Eraser busted out all the CQC tricks the merc-minus-a-mouth was known for: Shots to the nerve cluster, leg sweeps, joint holds, and even a nasty looking dragon sleeper. However, Crimebuster’s tutelage under Halloween Knight & Devilfish served him well in fending off these attacks and his own hard-brawling style swung the momentum back his own way much to the fans’ approval, eventually tossing Eraser from the ring entirely. Getting desperate, Eraser fished around in his tactical gear for a weapon, briefly retrieving some kind of dartgun before hurriedly shoving it back in there in favor of a nightstick. Stalking around the ring as Buster played to the crowd, Eraser took a calculated risk in rushing Buster from behind-

!

But Buster was able to turn around in time to duck the swing of the nightstick and hit Eraser with the Spinerbuster for the pin and win to Karrg’s fury.

WINNER VIA PINFALL: CRIMEBUSTER

Backstage a familiar face was seen slipping out of a locker room…

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“Stay in there for now, I can’t guarantee your safety otherwise.”

As Molly Cuddle turned around she came face to face with-

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“What. Are. You. Playing. At? Playing. At?”

The Voice, flanked by Auckland Raider and C-W-A glared at the recently returned valent who steeled her expression at them.

Molly:

“Oh yes, I’d heard about you.”

Voice:

“Do not dodge the question, the question. You return at a pivotal point in our Lord’s reign and save two despicable rebels, rebels? For what reason, reason?”

Molly:

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, sir.”

Voice:

“You think me a fool, a fool? That was your voice over the speakers earlier, earlier. You cannot hide it, hide it.”

Molly:

“That could have been any woman on the roster. Have you perchance questioned Rekha about this?”

The Voice’s hands curled into fists.

Molly:

“Besides, what proof do you have that I have the power to teleport people? Ask anyone here and they’ll tell you Molly Cuddle is as normal as the sun on a spring afternoon, not that someone who lives in a dingy lair would know anything about that.”

Voice:

“Enough, enough! You two, search where she just came from, we’ll see if she’s harboring our fugitives, fugitives!”

Molly:

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you. Also, Clowny, we have GOT to stop meeting like this.”

C-W-A:

“Honk honk.”

C-W-A and Raider brushed past Molly and went to open the door to her room-

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“HOW NOW YE JESTER AND FOOTED BALLSMAN, DARE NOT YE TRESPASSE UPON A FAIRE MAIDEN’S PRIVATE LODGINGS!”

Voice:

“...what.”

Bruce Strange, clad in armor and brandishing a longsword emerged from the room, pointing it threateningly at the Voice’s two minions.

Strange:

“HARK, DRUID! CALLEST OFF THINE DOGSBODIES LEST I CHOP THEM INTO A FEASTE FIT FOR A CANINE THEMSELVES!”

Molly:

“Mr. Strange here ran into me when I was returning from my vacation, he’s taken it upon himself to be my personal bodyguard in these odd times.”

Strange:

“MAIDEN YOU CONFUSE MY PROPERE RANKE! I am Sir Silas Strange, Knight of the Ordo Extraordinarium, his Majesty’s Fineste Hunters of the Mysteriouse & Odiouse Denizennes of the Darke!”

Voice:

“...I am going to kill that Guru, kill that Guru…”

Molly:

“I’ve been keeping him here for his own sake until I can convince him the fights we put on aren’t of the ‘To the Death’ variety. I think you can understand why?”

The Voice looked to his two goons who were not looking keen on tangling with the so called Sir Strange.

Voice:

“You are lucky there are bigger fish for my master to fry, to fry. Come, our search continues, continues.”

The Voice turned around and led C-W-A and Raider back the way they came. Molly exhaled and turned back to the door.

Molly:

That was a close one, are you alright in there gentlemen?”

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“Phew, that was a close one. Thanks boss lady.”

Molly:

“Please call me Molly, Mr. Fox.”

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“I was NOT eager to catch another shot to the jaw tonigh-AIIIEEE!”

THUNK!

Canuckian Dragon barely ducked in time to avoid a broadsword now buried in the doorframe.

Sir Strange:

“Aha, sorry olde chap, whenever I layest mine eyes upon a dragon I can’tst help mineself.”

Dragon:

“G...good to know...so uh hey, Molly. You really think us three can take down your old buddy? I mean I rule but uhm…”

Molly:

“No and I don’t expect you to. However, there is one who can.”

Molly turned away and began tracing her fingers along the wall.

Molly:

“I just need to find a way to get him out…”

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Vertigo vs Cyanide

Following their clash in last month’s six-man tag match, Cyanide and Vertigo went into this one trying to prove definitively who the better wrestler was. Unfortunately for Vertigo, Cyanide came into this redoubling his efforts to rudo his way to victory as shown when he used some amateur wrestling techniques to pin Vertigo on his back and retrieved…a pair of scissors from his singlet. Taking advantage of Steven Yale’s blindness he started to snip out the mesh holes in the back of Vertigo’s mask while the tecnico struggled and managed to buck him off after one of them was removed. The match went on from there with Vertigo regaining the momentum and repeatedly coming just short of pinning the leader of Skullduggery until he suddenly found himself with his mask tugged around again-just in time to get a poke in the exposed eye! As Vertigo held face, Cyanide rolled him up and plopped his feet on the ropes for good measure to secure an exceedingly dirty win.

WINNER VIA PINFALL: CYANIDE

ZEN HARMONY TITLE MATCH

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Hyde and Maelstrom were the clearly less experienced duo (teaming up the day of will do that) but it became clear from the outset that Dr. Trollson’s bioconstruct more than made up for his lack of teamwork with pure brute force, something Hyde had an appreciation for. Together the duo ran roughshod over their smaller opponents in the early goings with punishing tandem offense that made those in the audience convinced Warp-Jump’s latest reign would be their shortest. However events at ringside turned the tide as Guru Vishni engaged in a ‘Spirited Intellectual Debate’ at ringside with Dr. Trollson that swiftly devolved into childish taunts with Trollson getting the upperhand, poking his fingers into Vishni’s chest and pushing him around...until Warp-Jump nailed a desperation dropkick on Hyde that spilled him out of the ring and onto Trollson! With his creator out of the picture a change came over Maelstrom, the big man’s self control seemed to dissolve and he began a rage-filled beatdown of Toady and HalloWarped! Eventually Warped was flung from the ring and Maelstrom pounced upon Toady, beating on him with illegal closed fists with such a ferocity and disregard that Referee Herbie H. Reedman was forced to call for a disqualification when he couldn’t get the big man off. A pyrrhic victory for the champs but a victory nonetheless…

WINNERS BY DQ AND STILL HARMONY CHAMPIONS: WARP-JUMP!

Backstage ahead of their mutual chance at the Master Title were Halloween Knight and Devilfish.

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“So we’re agreed ahead of time no hard feelings, right?”

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“Ooooof course, I got my eyes on the prize and you aren’t the type to stab anyone in the back. Anymore.”

Knight:

“Hah, no no, I won’t go back on my villainous ways until I think it’s funny!”

Fish grimaced but looked at the door they were both stood next to.

Devilfish:

“What about him?”

Knight:

“Who Manny? He’s taken care of.”

The camera cut to inside the room where-

”GIRLY GIRLY GIRL I WANT YA SO BAD

“WHY YA GOTTA ACT A WAY TO MAKE ME SO SAD

“GIRLY GIRLY GIRL I JUST WANT YOUR LOVE

“GIRLY GIRLY GIRL YOU CAN BE MY DOVE~!”

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“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!”

Devilfish:

“24/7 Liberteens, you sure you’re not a rudo anymore?”

Knight:

“Hey at least I got him an album back from when Beaumont was still in the group. Anyway he can’t possibly attempt escape with that blaring in his ears and Karrg’s got no idea where he is!”

Devilfish:

“Is...that why you gave Buster the rest of the night off?”

Knight:

“Yes, that, definitely not because he’s probably put on the Spongebob Squarepants theme instead.”

Devilfish:

“Hey that song is a bop!”

Knight:

“I will never get you ocean dwellers…”

Unbeknownst to both of them, a quartet of nogoodniks are peeking around the corner.

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“Heheheh…”

Well that probably won’t come back to bite them.

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Pink Spider vs Harper Reid

Following up on the challenge from last month, Pink Spider clashed with Harper Reid ahead of the latter’s departure to film the latest in the hit movie series Gorillacide. Spider is a much more game competitor than his minion Dazzler and it shows as he effectively grounds the high-flying stunt woman with a glamorous display of chain and mat wrestling, trapping her ultimately in a fujiwara armbar. It took everything Reid had to defy tapping out to the hold, slowly rising with the help of the Faithful to slip free and retake control of the match and unleash her aerial offense on the Spider. Once, twice, three times she manages to score a nearfall on the former Conceptual Champ before an attempt at a springboard got intercepted by Trevor Feather who yanked Reid’s arm down hard against the top rope! As she staggered back towards the middle of the ring she found herself falling prey to Vain Venom Hammerlock DDT from Spider for the pin.

WINNER VIA PINFALL: PINK SPIDER

Post match Spider and Trevor weren’t done; possibly driven by how close the starlet came to taking the win, the two started beating down on her, targeting the arm Spider had been working the whole match. Spider broke off from the beat down to bark for Dazzler to join them but-

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“AAAAAAAAHHHHH!”

He came flying out from the back to lie prone on the ramp way. Spider and Trevor looked at each other and gulped…

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M...M...MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILK!

MOTHER OF GOD HE FOUND OUT HOW TO PRONOUNCE MILK!

Storming down the ring (trampling Dazzler as he did) came the Milk Weirdo, he rolled into the ring and shoved away an early assault by Spider and Trevor to take them both down with a double clothesline! Brawling it out with the both of them, the Milk guy grabbed up both of them into a powerslam position but-Dazzler managed to grab Spider by the boots and pull him out of the hold and the ring. Angry at losing half of his quarry, the Milk Weirdo settled for a massive running powerslam on Trevor before going to check on a slowly recovering Reid. Together they stared down Pink who beat a hasty retreat. Reid patted her rescuer on the shoulder before scribbling an autograph on a piece of paper and shoving it in Trevor’s mouth, heading to the back as the calcium loving colossus posed for the crowd.

But now it’s time to kn-

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“Hff...hff...hff...you’re a tough one…”

Somehow in the month since we’d seen him last, Pumpkin Jack had still been fighting his jailer…

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“Grrgh..rrrrr...graaahh…”

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“Gentlemen, has the match concluded?”

Even to the point of coming back to the ring (somehow the ref had decided not to count them out).

Jack:

“I’m...not...d-HRGK!”

Jack took a massive shot to the belly, doubling over as Anguish set him up for a powerbomb. Hoisted onto the big man’s shoulders, Jack threw one...two..three...four...FIVE fists into the demonic servant of ZERO’s face before he managed to regain his balance enough for a hurricanrana! Staggering up to his feet he pulled himself to the top rope and hit a massive Orange Bowl on the big man for a pin

1!

2!

Thre-KICKOUT!

Jack slammed the mat with a fist, going to go to the top rope again, another Orange Bowl! Another pin...another nearfall.

Jack:

“Why won’t you stay down!?”

Jack went to stand again but-found himself throttled by Anguish! Clawing at his wrist he was stood up as Anguish rose, growling in his face. Anguish attempted a chokeslam-but Jack slipped behind and seized his arm!

Jack:

“HRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHH!”

And managed to lift and slam the big man with a Pumpkinhandle Suplex!

STRAIGHT THROUGH THE RING!

Falling to his knees next to the hole, Jack panted and clung to consciousness.

Referee:

“Hm...well I don’t think he’s coming back from that for the time being, congratulations sir.”

Jack:

“How...do I...get out of here?”

Referee:

“Oh I wouldn’t know sir, I’m just a referee.”

Jack:

“Of course you don’t.”

Jack rolled out of the ring and began limping into the fog, hoping to find his way out of his prison…

WINNER VIA STOPPAGE: PUMPKIN JACK

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-and that’s how Devilfish was born. Will we ever see Lone Shark again? Only one way to find out! Same ZEN Time same ZEN Channel!

ZEN MASTER TITLE MATCH

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<img alt="q8pE1RE.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/q8pE1RE.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /> vs <img alt="NlDrj55.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/NlDrj55.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /> vs <img alt="V8RPI00.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/V8RPI00.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

The main event of the evening was a chaotic battle between decorated veterans of ZEN, every competitor having faced the other two countless times over the years in ZEN’s history with Devilfish and ZERO’s match at Way of the Dreamer having only been the most recent clash. Fish and Knight seemed a few times to be in cahoots against the champion but the alliance was short lived in the face of the Master Title, with the highlight of this collaboration being Knight laying ZERO to waste with a flurry of mongolian chops before performing the splits in time for Fish to nail the champ with a shotei!

The match wore on more and more with near falls being exchanged and the Master Title being balanced on a knife’s edge as ZERO struggled to overcome two of ZEN’s mightiest warriors. However Fish would take himself out of the match by attempting a high crossbody from the top rope to the outside onto Knight, ZERO, and the Voice, only taking out the latter and himself. Sensing a chance at victory, Knight slammed a headbutt into ZERO and tossed him into the ring, looking to claim the belt with a Pumpkin Patch! However, ZERO kicked Knight off while it was being applied and sent him stumbling into the ropes where-

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“PEEKABOO!”

Karrg slammed the Master belt into his face! Staggering back in a daze, Knight found himself quickly locked in the ZERO Hour and knocked out, referee Steven Yale unable to see the deviousness that took place can only let Knight’s arm flop to the mat three times before declaring ZERO the winner.

WINNER AND STILL ZEN MASTER VIA KNOCKOUT: LORD ZERO

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“KYAAAAAHAKHAKHAK!”

Karrg stormed the ring as ZERO escaped with his belt, stomping on the prone Knight with malicious intent. Devilfish slid in, trying to help his comrade as much as he could even after a hellacious match but-

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MAN O’WAR SLAMMED INTO HIM WITH A NEPTUNE’S TRIDENT!

As Devilfish is left prone and helpless and Steven Yale unable to control the chaos, Karrg hefted Knight up again to hit him with a Conquest Bomb! He then did the same to Devilfish! Grabbing a mic Karrg cackled maliciously as two of ZEN’s greatest heroes were fully laid out before him as Way of the Poet ends as it began, as George Lucas would say, it rhymes.</div>

DinoKea · December 7, 2021

Really enjoying this diary so far. A lot of the stories a really fun chaos and definitely interested in what seems to be whoever caused two wrestlers to pass out/be weakened. A lot of the stories have been really fun, but I'd advise to make sure you're clear on which island magically crazed knights are let on the loose in. (Last show being in Christchurch would imply the South Island, whereas Trollson seems to imply they lost him in the North Island).

Pteroid · December 7, 2021

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"Faithful of ZEN rejoice, rejoice! We draw near to the grandest event of our year, Way of the Warrior, Warrior! LORD ZERO looks forward to destroying whosoever dares to face him at the grandest stage of them all, of them all! But oh, our Lord grows tired of facing the same old faces, and thus has come up with a plan to see a deserving challenger emerge, emerge! Way of the Jester stands in the path of our march to the final showdown and at it we shall have a battle royal, but not just any battle royal, it shall be one with a special rule, rule...

"NONE WHO LORD ZERO HAS DEFEATED THIS YEAR MAY ENTER, ENTER!

"Other than this, any ten men, women, or otherwise may enter to meet their date with destiny, destiny. I look forward to seeing which of you cretins dances their way to the gallows, gallows~"

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ZEN Presents: Way of the Jester

Live from Auckland

MAIN EVENT JESTER'S GAME BATTLE ROYAL

NONE WHOM ZERO HAS DEFEATED THIS YEAR MAY ENTER

TEN SPOTS OPEN TO ANYONE ELSE, WHO WILL CHALLENGE THE MASTER AT WAY OF THE WARRIOR?!

Sir Silas Strange vs Cyanide

Crimebuster, Halloween Knight, & Devilfish vs The Alien Vanguard & Tremolo Rif

Vertigo vs Mister Hyde

Damian Dastardly vs Killer B

ZERO LEAGUE MATCHES

NO DQ MAIN EVENT

Urban Fox vs C-W-A

Hack The Hunter vs Dazzler

Luchatron vs Kiwi Cool Kaia Marshall

D-Pod & Dizzy G vs Debuting WLW Sensations Next Level

Also Debuting Naoji Azumi vs Auckland Raider</div>

KyTeran · December 9, 2021

MAIN EVENT JESTER'S GAME BATTLE ROYAL

NONE WHOM ZERO HAS DEFEATED THIS YEAR MAY ENTER

TEN SPOTS OPEN TO ANYONE ELSE, WHO WILL CHALLENGE THE MASTER AT WAY OF THE WARRIOR?! Kalliope Woodchuck

Sir Silas Strange vs Cyanide

Crimebuster, Halloween Knight, & Devilfish vs The Alien Vanguard & Tremolo Rif

Vertigo vs Mister Hyde

Damian Dastardly vs Killer B

ZERO LEAGUE MATCHES

NO DQ MAIN EVENT

Urban Fox vs C-W-A

Hack The Hunter vs Dazzler

Luchatron vs Kiwi Cool Kaia Marshall

D-Pod & Dizzy G vs Debuting WLW Sensations Next Level

Also Debuting Naoji Azumi vs Auckland Raider

DinoKea · December 9, 2021

MAIN EVENT JESTER'S GAME BATTLE ROYAL

NONE WHOM ZERO HAS DEFEATED THIS YEAR MAY ENTER

TEN SPOTS OPEN TO ANYONE ELSE, WHO WILL CHALLENGE THE MASTER AT WAY OF THE WARRIOR?! Pumpkin Jack Although this feels like too obvious an answer

Cyanide def. Sir Silas Strange vs Cyanide

Crimebuster, Halloween Knight, & Devilfish def. The Alien Vanguard & Tremolo Rif

Vertigo def. Mister Hyde

Killer B def. Damian Dastardly

ZERO LEAGUE MATCHES

NO DQ MAIN EVENT

Urban Fox def. C-W-A

Hack The Hunter def. Dazzler

Kiwi Cool Kaia Marshall def. Luchatron

Debuting WLW Sensations Next Level def. D-Pod & Dizzy G

Auckland Raider def. Also Debuting Naoji Azumi

Pteroid · December 9, 2021

It won't be him. PJ lost to ZERO in February.

He did?

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