Paragons of Wrestling 2: The Sequel (Thunderverse)

jhd1 · July 19, 2021

The Kayo render you've "borrowed" from FTD and the original ThunderVerse Vice render were done by MJ, not me, and they are very slightly different, but I've converted the Vice image just in case you want him in the same pose as everyone else.

foolinc · July 19, 2021

Spike Daryl vs El Hot Dog

Dreamscape: The New Nightmare vs DISCO Fox & DJ Swizzlestixx

Puma Cool (w/Super Croak) vs Thom Schultz

Johnny Moore & Xavier Gutierrez vs The Squared Circle Circus

Deadtective vs Creepsly

Michael Washington vs Kat

American Pharaoh & ??? vs The Time Lord & Dr. Euan Reeka

Trent Brooke vs Super Croak (w/ Puma Cool)

Tiberious · July 20, 2021

Spike Daryl vs El Hot Dog

El Hot Dog losing will be a day of mourning for all the POW faithful, but it shall not be this day.

Dreamscape: The New Nightmare vs DISCO Fox & DJ Swizzlestixx

I know DISCO & DJ need a win, but I love Dreamscape too much to not pick them. Dreamscape's new gimmicks also kind of rule.

Puma Cool (w/Super Croak) vs Thom Schultz

Feel like Croak & Puma have miscommunication, leading to Thom winning another one without really earning it.

Johnny Moore & Xavier Gutierrez vs The Squared Circle Circus

The clowns are growing on me.

Deadtective vs Creepsly

i very much enjoy both these characters.

Michael Washington vs Kat

A true American success story is only amplified by the trials and tribulations one must overcome.

American Pharaoh & ??? vs The Time Lord & Dr. Euan Reeka

Always bet on ???

Trent Brooke vs Super Croak (w/ Puma Cool)

Croak rules and I feel like Trent & Spike may not be permanent members of the roster.

Voeltzwagon · July 20, 2021

Whenever I see Michael Washington.

DarK_RaideR · July 20, 2021

Pteroid back AND a POW diary? Be cautiously optimistic my beating heart!

Spike Daryl vs El Hot Dog

This time it's Daryl getting DQ'd

Dreamscape: The New Nightmare vs DISCO Fox & DJ Swizzlestixx

Gonna guess we see botched interference from Draculina in this

Puma Cool (w/Super Croak) vs Thom Schultz

So many things could go wrong here

Johnny Moore & Xavier Gutierrez vs The Squared Circle Circus

This should be an interesting read

Deadtective vs Creepsly

Push this guy to the dim moon of every film noir ever. His promos are genius

Michael Washington vs Kat

'mur'cuh!

American Pharaoh & ??? vs The Time Lord & Dr. Euan Reeka

Won't bet against the mystery partner

Trent Brooke vs Super Croak (w/ Puma Cool)

Croak and Cool's issues continue while Brooke regains some heat

kanegan · July 20, 2021

Spike Daryl vs El Hot Dog

Dreamscape: The New Nightmare vs DISCO Fox & DJ Swizzlestixx

Puma Cool (w/Super Croak) vs Thom Schultz

Johnny Moore & Xavier Gutierrez vs The Squared Circle Circus

Deadtective vs Creepsly

Michael Washington vs Kat

American Pharaoh & ??? vs The Time Lord & Dr. Euan Reeka

Trent Brooke vs Super Croak (w/ Puma Cool)

Pteroid · July 22, 2021

Paragons of Wrestling 2: The Sequel Presents

#ReleaseTheSandersCut A Six Hour Extravaganza!

Attendance: 67

#ReleaseTheSandersCut opens with the man himself:

Nicky Sanders in the ring with a microphone!

Nicky Sanders:

“Welcome everyone to Hashtag Releezthsanderskut or however I’m supposed to pronounce that! I didn’t even know I had a cut, I just put my earnings back into the show!”

Dr. Hazard:

“Does this bozo even Squawker a LITTLE???”

Wesley Johnson:

“Shhh!”

Sanders:

“But anyway when I found out I had to put together a six hours show I went out and I got only the best! Tonight you’re gonna see it all, legends and rookies from the world over, matches of each and every kind! I even booked Terry Thunder for a special episode of Thunderhips live tonight!”

The crowd cheers the American Icon and his weird dance-date show.

Sanders:

“All this and more, provided nothing bad happens! ...I really hope it doesn’t, I got a missed connection from FAW lined up for that Thunderhips episode and I’d be awful sour if anything messed it up! Ah well, probably nothing to worry about, enjoy the show everybody!”

The crowd chants ‘No Bad Things!’ as Sanders makes his exit, confident that this will definitely be a six hour long show with the most famous wrestler of all time’s primetime tv show. What’s the worst that could happen? Pssssh…

Well y’know, aside from-

PSSSSSSSSSSSSSH

Hey I’m just saying there’s some-

WE DIRECT THIS RANDOM HYPOTHETICAL NEGATIVE NANCY TO MR.’S P AND S AND THEIR DEAR FRIEND MRS. H!

Geez, fine. Yeesh.

...psh.

Dr. Hazard:

“Are you quite finished!? We’re likely to waste most of those six hours reading you argue!”

Wesley:

“Who are you talking to-”

Hazard:

“HEY LOOK A WRESTLING MATCH!”

vs

Trent Brooke vs Super Croak

The first match of our six hour spectacular cuts a blistering pace as Super Croak and Trent Brooke clash in a battle of a POW favorite with one of the two disrespectful visitors from last week. Croak still has his ‘protege’ Puma Cool in his corner for this bout but it doesn’t seem like any of the life lessons Croak wants to instill in him are taking as Puma looks positively mortified to be associated with the hero. Still Puma goes to the effort of trying to help Croak in his own way (mostly by cheating behind his mentor’s back) and frustrates Brooke’s attempts at sealing the win until his final trick backfires. Shinji Kato drops his sunglasses in a collision with Brooke and Puma enters the ring to hold the 21st Century Caveman for Croak. Croak rebukes his mentee for trying to cheat which gives Brooke time to slam both Puma and himself into the ropes and send Croak off the top rope! Croak lands awkwardly on his ankle and is clearly in pain as Brooke locks in the Thresher Flail for a quick tapout as Kato and Puma walk Croak to the back post match.

Winner Via Submission: Trent Brooke

vs

Time Lord and Dr. Euan Reeka vs The American Pharaoh & ???

Time Lord and the good Dr. enter warily, so far their battles with the Pharaoh had seen them achieve victory through flukes and to the recollection of everyone the fiendish time traveller knew no allies in POW. It was pretty much to no one’s surprise that Pharaoh entered alone, confident smirk on his face with no partner in sight, informing referee Kato that his partner would arrive when necessary. Kato, not one to argue with ominous mumblings, signs off on the apparent handicap match and calls for the bell to ring...just as someone new yanks Time Lord off the ring apron and waylays him with a sucker punch! The cameras rush over to see…

...WHAT!?

Dr. Reeka looks outside the ring in shock as another Pharaoh -all smiles- waves back at him. The Doc gulps and turns around right into a scoopslam by Pharaoh which sets the tone of the match as the ambushed tecnicos are laid to waste by the two identical (give or take a couple dozen pounds) rudos! Time Lord is left laid out on the outside of the ring with a punishing poisonrana before the new Pharaoh enters the ring to hit a double Shock and Ra with his fellow on Reeka for an absolutely disgusting win.

Winners Via Pinfall: The American Pharaohs

Wesley:

“I can’t believe this, there are two American Pharaohs now!?

Hazard:

“I believe they’re called Americans Pharaoh, kind of like Attorneys General.”

Wesley:

“Hazard what on earth is happening here, you’re a man of science, mad or otherwise…”

Hazard:

“I dunno, cloning? Reproduction via Mitosis? A second guy with the same mask? The CIA is evil and dumb enough to try any of those things, I should know I was on the payroll for a while.”

Wesley:

“I can’t believe the CIA would hire a villain like-yeah no, ok even I’m not that naive-”

Wesley is cut off by Pharaoh who’s grabbed a microphone in the interim.

Pharaoh:

“SILENCE PEASANTS, YOUR RULER SPEAKS!”

The crowd boos the Star Spangled Sovereign as he relishes in their boos.

Pharaoh:

“Lord of Time, Despicable Alchemist, did you truly think the two of you could stand before the might of the mightiest empire in this or any time period!? Laughable! I am the greatest weapon in human history, the ruler of space and time, the most expensive project in all the ledgers of the CIA! YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK!”

More boos for reckless government spending! Pharaoh gestures at his doppleganger.

Pharaoh:

“Behold, citizens, when these two vile communist anarchist and possibly Phoenician decided to gang up on me I found the only being as full of American grit as myself...MYSELF FROM ANOTHER TIMELINE!”

The second Pharaoh poses to more boos.

Pharaoh:

“You boo me? Your liberator!? Your symbol of Freedom and Empire!? Perhaps a demonstration of my power will make you think twice…”

Pharaoh lifts his arm in time with his fellow and the lights flicker, strange sound effects are heard along with the ticking of a clock before…

Nothing really seems to happen.

Wesley:

“What uh...what’d he do-?”

Pharaoh:

“I’VE FAST FORWARDED TIME FOUR HOURS!”

Wesley:

“NO!”

Hazard:

“MY GOD!

Pharaoh:

“IT IS FAR PAST TERRY THUNDER’S BEDTIME, NO THUNDERHIPS FOR ANY OF YOU!”

Nicky Sanders (offscreen)

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! ANGELIQUE, MY LOVE!”

Pharaoh laughs evilly as he leaves to a further chorus of boos with his clone. Reeka and Time Lord regroup on the outside and make their own exit.

Wesley:

“What has been unleashed on Paragons of Wrestling!?”

Hazard:

“He’s a madman, Johnson, an absolute madman…”

vs

Michael Washington vs Kat

Both competitors clearly look perturbed as the fast-forwarding of time by Pharaoh, Washington more than Kat clearly as he complains loudly about using two of the hours that just got skipped for another promo. Kat, a veteran of POW however adjusts more quickly as shown in the ring as she runs roughshod over the whinier of our two symbols of Americana. Even the help of his two cronies at ringside don’t seem to help matters as a planning session on the outside see Kat launch herself off the top rope to take all three out! On the outside!

Bringing Washington back in, Kat is waylaid by Moore’s cameraphone as Kato checks on her opponent giving Washington a bit of hope on the inside. The mask of him being a wide eyed patriot slips a bit more as he switches to some rather suspect wear down holds which get calls of ‘boring’ from the audience. He glares at them all and yells at Xavier who in turn hurls abuse at the fans and threatens lawsuits until Kat manages to flip Washington off her in a boston crab. With Washington trying to quickly apply a new hold Kat manages a Cross Claw Cross Chop and get the win.

Winner by Pinfall: Kat!

As Kat celebrates her victory the cameras wander over to where Michael Washington has rolled out of the ring and is in heated discussion with Johnny Moore and Xavier Gutierrez.

Washington:

“-are you talking about!?”

Moore:

“Look man, editing only goes so far, you’re getting killed in this freakshow, maybe we should think about...moving on?”

Washington:

“To where, Johnny, Guerilla? House of Horrors? Great North with the godless Canadians?! NO! No I came to this podunk excuse for a federation for easy wins over complete nobodies and that is what’s gonna happen you hear me!? We are not leaving this place until I get my victory and if you don’t like it how about I send you packing back to the gutter in Detroit I found you...in…”

Washington suddenly notices the camera, as does Moore and-

“DO YOU MIND! THIS IS A VIOLATION OF MY CLIENT’S RIGHT TO PRIVACY, I’LL HAVE YOUR ENTIRE COMPANY’S BANK BALANCE FOR BREAKFAST IF YOU DON’T TURN THAT CAMERA AROUND RIGHT NOW!”

The camera man does as told and the trio quickly flee the general vicinity of the ring.

Wesley:

“Y’know call me crazy but I’m starting to think that guy’s not as upstanding as he makes himself out to be.”

Hazard:

“Yeah but that attitude certainly makes him on par with Pharaoh in the American department and isn’t that what truly matters?”

Before Wesley can retort a whole new bunch of unpleasant characters make their way to ringside:

“Like cower, mortals!”

Adelina, flanked by the her minions in Familia Noptii comes down to ringside where she sets up a beach chair and appears poised to enjoy the rest of the night in comfort and ease with some more...exceedingly red milkshakes when-

”I knew I was walking into the lion’s den, the question was did that make me Daniel...or just a hyena voiced by a starship’s bartender?”

Deadtective makes his way down to ringside, his target appearing to be Adelina. Dreamscape move to block him.

”The two palookas guarding her smelled like death warmed over and had the tempers to match, I was wondering whether the ‘ole Klaatu Barada Nikto would work on them when the cat decided it wanted a piece of the mouse…”

As if on cue Adelina speaks up.

Adelina:

“No need to worry boys, I totes know how to handle this one.”

Dreamscape step aside to allow Deadtective to see Adelina.

Deadtective:

“Ms. Dracula.”

Adelina:

“Oh Deaddy do you haaaave to be so formal? You’re like dad if he had an even bigger stake up his-”

Deatective:

“Sorry but I’m on the case, can’t get too familiar.”

Adelina:

“You’d know a thing or two about familiars though wouldn’t you~?”

”She was quick as whip and sharper than a cat o’nine tails, how’d she hear about the Baba Yaga case? It didn’t matter now, time was of the essence.”

Deadtective:

“I’m on the trail of Big Lando and Robin Banks, they’re in possession of a stolen invisible clown car. I know the Familia has its claws in every racket that goes on at night so it’s obvious you know something about their doings.”

Adelina’s eyes drift towards Dreamscape who move to flank Deadtective until she waves them off.

Adelina:

“Ah possessions, I totes have a soft spot for them but I’m pretty sure you’re not talking about the fun kind…”

”I gave her a look and she knew to quit the games, she was good at reading folks, even ones with bandages for a mug like me.”

Adelina:

“Fine fine, you want to know then you’ll have to do something for me first~”

Adelina gestures to Creepsley.

Adelina:

“I wish to be entertained, so how about you square up with my Help and if you come out on top I’ll tell you what you want~.”

Deadtective looks the ghoulish butler up and down and is given the same treatment.

Deadtective:

“Deal, but this better not be a set up.”

Adelina:

“Deadsy you sweet summer child, if I wanted to do away with you...you’d be back six feet under~”

”Before I could snap off another retort-”

CLANG!

”-the little cretin took a break from handing the spoiled bat everything on a silver platter to bash it over my head. This was not gonna be an easy one…”

vs

Deadtective In: The Creepsley Chaos

”I wasn’t well versed in how the Familia trained their servants, part of me figured they just yanked them back up out of the ground after they got done livin’ but this guy was a world apart from the usual fare. The technical edge brought to mind a few amateur wrestling champs I’d studied in my past but none of them had this level of panache for dirty tricks. Plus they’d have called anyone with that messy mop of hair a dirty beatnick let alone rock it themselves.

“Still the man’s identity wasn’t my business, the issue on the table was getting his boss to squeal and that meant putting him down. He was a clever one but he was repetitive, as though his experience with fights was reduced to some preset moves he’d been taught. As the fight wore on I began to realize he was beginning to copy me, I had to think fast if I was gonna get what I came for...I jerked my head towards the platter he’d left on the ring apron and moved like I was going for it. Creepsley jerked his head towards it in time to whip the referee with his absurd haircut and got to it before me, sensing an opportunity he went to slam me with the silver one more time...just in time for me to step to the side and point a finger gun directly at his noggin-”

“Bang.”

”-and the platter to bounce off the ropes directly into his face! Disoriented he stumbled back and was wide open to the crook of my arm hitting the back of his neck with all the force I could. The ref’s three count after confirmed what I already knew, I’d Solved The Case.”

Winner Via Pinfall: Deadtective

Exiting the ring, Deadtective folds his arms as an annoyed Adelina glares at her defeated henchman.

Deadtective:

“Talk.”

Adelina lets out an exasperated sigh.

Adelina:

“Fiiiine...they’re in Canada~”

Deadtective takes a step towards her, she bears her fangs in a smirk.

Adelina:

“BUT...they will be back next month. Their hideout is backstage, you can’t miss it, over by the Janitor’s closet...Robin put a big sign that says ‘Top Secret Hideout’ next to it. For realisies I don’t know why you had to come to me about it.”

Deadtective nods and tips his hat to the vampiress, going to turn away. Dreamscape move aside as Creepsley limps to Adelina’s side and gets slapped for his failure.

”I had a window of a month before the two thieves would be back in the city, a month to formulate a plan to catch them once and for all…

It was time for a stakeout.”

Hazard:

“...he knows we can hear him, right?”

Wesley:

“Shhhh, this is riveting!

vs

The Squared Circle Circus vs Moore and Guttierez

With the Familia still at ringside both teams in this bout seemed rather fixated on their presence. Moore obviously wants to document proof of the paranormal while Xavier is keen to play mob lawyer to the princess of the night...meanwhile both members of the circus seem absolutely terrified of the audience at ringside. Guttierez halts proceedings to serve Mime with papers naming him an impostor for claiming to be a Mime while not being from the Panto Region of France and therefore being a mere Sparkling Harlequin! Mime flees the ring in shame until a peptalk (well, pephonk) from Kayo saw him reenter the ring to face down his accuser in Wrestler’s Court: Judge Shinji Kato presiding!

Guttierez’s opening arguments are rather convincing, especially with the defendant being physically incapable of giving testimony however the failure of his assistant council Johnny Moore to look up from trying to figure out which Instagraph filters Adelina can appear in kept him in contempt of court (along with just the general contempt of everyone) when Kayo the Clown objected to Guttierez pinning Mime down in the cross examination and put the lawyer on the stand. A blistering appeal to the jury surrounding the ring ruled firmly in the Circus’ favor and another bum rush saw Judge Kato bang his gavel thrice in the sillier duo’s favor.

Winners via Acquittal: The Squared Circle Circus

Hazard:

“NO! MISTRIAL! MISTRIAL!”

Wesley:

“The Circus win the case of the century!”

Hazard:

“Guttierez needs to take this all the way to Wrestler’s Supreme Court! We can’t allow fake Mimes in our business!”

Wesley:

“We’ll see if that match goes to appeals, but first we’re on to our next match!”

vs

Puma Cool vs Thom Schultz

Puma Cool is sans Super Croak this match following the latter’s injury which frees him up to start pulling some dirty tricks on the veteran Schultz who still seems to be a little conflicted after what happened last month. Puma’s a sneaky customer but Schultz has been at this far longer than his opponent and manages to easily see through the lion’s share of them, favoring counters with technical or acrobatic skill rather than cheating in kind. The fans seem just as torn as Schultz after his behavior on the first and second show but few and far between are keen to cheer on the far from rehabilitated Puma and begin to rally behind the vet who rewards their support by putting Puma away with a superkick counter to a springboard nothing to get a sudden win over his foe.

At ringside La Familia seemed less than interested with the bout, Adelina marshalling her troops for the battle ahead with The Party Animals...

Winner via Pinfall: Thom Schultz

vs

Dreamscape: New Nightmare vs DISCO Fox & DJ Swizzlestix

The Party Animals came into this one with something to prove after their repeat losses to the Familia in the months prior leading to much more of a brawl than the high flying bout most expected from these two pairings. DISCO and DJ didn’t show the same level of tag team acumen as the Dreamscape but in the fist fight they went for not many people picked up on it. Momentum shifted again and again as the fight wore on, Adelina repeatedly getting involved on her charges’ behalf but the sudden arrival of Kat saw her climb to the top rope and attempt a crossbody on everyone that only the daughter of Dracula avoided.

As things wore on and became even more chaotic, referee Kato found himself with no choice but to reach twenty on a double count out and declare a draw. The fight however went on all the way to the back leaving the fans little time to voice displeasure with the lack of a clear winner ahead of our main event!

DRAW: DOUBLE COUNTOUT!

MAIN EVENT

vs

Spike Daryl vs El Hot Dog

The battle lines were drawn in this main event clash between the crass invader and the beloved hero, the fans showering Hot Dog with as much love as the contempt they voiced for Daryl who stopped just short of giving them all a rude hand gesture on the way to the ring. The most seasoned vet in POW-2 (almost all of it salt) gave the bouncy dynamo an early lesson in wrestling, tossing him around the ring and picking up on Brooke’s strategy from last month by focusing as much of his offense on the non-bouncy bits of the cholesterol-filled heart of POW as he could. However, El Hot Dog didn’t get that title for nothing and showed his skill with high risk aerial maneuvers that set a fast pace despite the veteran’s best efforts to ground him.

Spike’s frustration grew and grew as the match wore on, much like his compatriot last month the fact that he wasn’t getting the same support as the dude in a hot dog suit clearly wore on the spirit of the scummiest crusierweight in the business. Hauling off and shouting abuse at the fans he found himself victim to the Mustard Based Assault that sent him sprawling out of the ring. As Hot Dog played to the fans in the ring, Spike slowly made his way to a vertical base and started shouting in a rage to the back, summoning out Trent Brooke to aid him. El Hot Dog stood ready and gave a game fight to the two invaders but the numbers game caught up to him and soon the duo began clawing and poking at Hot Dog’s suit with their nails in a clear attempt to deflate the hero until Shinji Kato threw himself onto Hot Dog to protect him! Spike kicked both Hot Dog and the ref out of the ring (one being much more difficult than the other) and called for a mic…

Winner via DQ: El Hot Dog

Spike Daryl:

“ALL OF YOU RATS BETTER SHUT YOUR MOUTHS CUZ I GOT SOMETHIN’ TO SAY!”

The fans boooooooo and Spike continues heedless.

Spike:

“You must think you’re really somethin’ huh? Ooh your little show’s finally comin’ back from the dead to entertain you brainless little turds, huh? Well lemme tell ya somethin’, this? All of this? It’s just WWW with a bit more flips and that makes me SICK! You know who I am!? I’m the man who BUILT cruiserweight wrestling in America, I’m the man who MADE lucha in America, and this kiddy crap is what near killed the whole business twenty years ago! You’re nothin’ but a bunch of man and womenchildren, not able to grow up so ya wanna play Peter Pan. So men like me, like my friend here-”

Spike nudges Trent who doesn’t seem to really cotton on to what Spike’s saying, he says something to Spike but he keeps going.

Spike:

“Gotta burst the bubble you little twerps are livin’ in and drag you kicking and screaming back to reality where wrestling makes sense! Don’t interrupt me, kid, you’ll live longer! Next month me’n Trent are taking this piece of rubbery trash out and this whole organization with it! If anyone has the bits to try and help save this ship before it sinks they’re welcome to come to his side but I ain’t gonna be held liable for what’ll happen to ya! Come on, Trent, we got fish to fry!”

Trent, looking a bit sour, follows after Spike as he storms out of the ring as members of the roster come out to check on Hot Dog and we go off the air once more with the bad guys on top despite their loss…</div>

Eisen-verse · July 22, 2021

Ha! I love what you're doing here. I'm not well verse on Paragons of Wrestling but, with my limited knowledge, you seem to capture their vibe really well. The commentary adds to the absurdity, too (which is exactly what you want to do with a product like this)!

Dr. Hazard:

“Are you quite finished!? We’re likely to waste most of those six hours reading you argue!”

Wesley:

“Who are you talking to-”

Hazard:

“HEY LOOK A WRESTLING MATCH!”

Pteroid · July 22, 2021

Paragons of Wrestling 2: The Sequel Presents...

Big Ole CGI Clusterfun!

MAIN EVENT TAG MATCH

El Hot Dog & ??? vs Trent Brooke & Spike Daryl

Thom Schultz vs Adelina Dracula

Familia Nopții (Creepsley & Dreamscape) vs The Party Animals

American Pharaoh vs The American Standard

The Appalachian Lovebirds vs Michael Washington & Xavier Guttierez

Puma Cool vs The Time Lord

Plus! Deadtective confronts the TPIC!

Tiberious · July 23, 2021

Great show. I think Deadtective is my favorite character so far, but there are a lot of fun choices.

MAIN EVENT TAG MATCH

El Hot Dog & ??? vs Trent Brooke & Spike Daryl

??? could be anyone, it could even be a second El Hot Dog going by what happened last show.

Thom Schultz vs Adelina Dracula

Toss-Up, but Aelina has been really fun so I'll take her winning here.

Familia Nopții (Creepsley & Dreamscape) vs The Party Animals

Party Animals could use a win, and Creepsley seems like the fall guy of the Familia.

American Pharaoh vs The American Standard

Alternate Reality Self shenanigans gives Pharaoh the edge in this patriotic match.

The Appalachian Lovebirds vs Michael Washington & Xavier Guttierez

The streak must continue.

Puma Cool vs The Time Lord

Puma may have a tough time without Super Croak there to guide him.

smw88 · July 23, 2021

MAIN EVENT TAG MATCH

El Hot Dog & ??? vs Trent Brooke & Spike Daryl

Thom Schultz vs Adelina Dracula

Familia Nopții (Creepsley & Dreamscape) vs The Party Animals

American Pharaoh vs The American Standard

The Appalachian Lovebirds vs Michael Washington & Xavier Guttierez

Puma Cool vs The Time Lord

DarK_RaideR · July 23, 2021

El Hot Dog & ??? vs Trent Brooke & Spike Daryl

Secretly hoping it's someone in a pizza or hamburger suit

Thom Schultz vs Adelina Dracula

Tough call, could go either way

Familia Nopții (Creepsley & Dreamscape) vs The Party Animals

They need a win

American Pharaoh vs The American Standard

Like, against the flag itself?

The Appalachian Lovebirds vs Michael Washington & Xavier Guttierez

Comically incompetent heels are not getting the win

Puma Cool vs The Time Lord

Super Croaker not around? Well, he'll probably show up during the match and unwillingly throw Puma off his game

foolinc · July 23, 2021

MAIN EVENT TAG MATCH

El Hot Dog & ??? vs Trent Brooke & Spike Daryl

Thom Schultz vs Adelina Dracula

Familia Nopții (Creepsley & Dreamscape) vs The Party Animals

American Pharaoh vs The American Standard

The Appalachian Lovebirds vs Michael Washington & Xavier Guttierez

Puma Cool vs The Time Lord

Pteroid · July 24, 2021

Random decision but I’mma have whoever predicts the best going into July will be allowed to put together their own trio for Clash of the TRItans this year

Big Roguey · July 24, 2021

Paragons of Wrestling 2: The Sequel Presents...

Big Ole CGI Clusterfun!

MAIN EVENT TAG MATCH

El Hot Dog & ??? vs Trent Brooke & Spike Daryl

Thom Schultz vs Adelina Dracula

Familia Nopții (Creepsley & Dreamscape) vs The Party Animals

American Pharaoh vs The American Standard

The Appalachian Lovebirds vs Michael Washington & Xavier Guttierez

Puma Cool vs The Time Lord

Plus! Deadtective confronts the TPIC!

Pteroid · July 26, 2021

Paragons of Wrestling 2: The Sequel Presents

Big Ole CGI Clusterfun!

Attendance: 65

We start our latest show backstage where a lone hero stands against darkness:

“-and despite the fact that I don’t THINK them beating me up suddenly makes the whole company stop existing I’m beyond sick of it happening to me and when I’m out of the picture who knows who they’ll go after next, y’know? We gotta take a stand, who’s with me?!”

“Cain’t.”

Hot Dog:

“Why not?”

“Sorry sugah but we got a match tonight against that awful yankee and his little lawyer, otherwise we’d be right with ya.”

“And we’ve our own issues, that dastardly Pharaoh’s machinations have done unthinkable damage to the timestream!”

Hot Dog:

“So...plan b of getting him to do a clone of me is a no go?”

Time Lord:

“GOOD LORD, MAN!”

“Yeah and I just don’t want to.”

“Puma!”

Super Croak on crutches after his injury last week nudges Puma in annoyance.

Puma:

“Hey you wanted me to be honest didn’t ya!? Want a better reason? I’m kickin’ buckethead over there’s spandex-clad rump in like two minutes.”

Time Lord

“Buckethead!?”

Puma:

“Ya heard me ya weirdo!”

As Puma and Time Lord begin to argue Super Croak sidles up to Hot Dog.

Super Croak:

“Friend Hot Dog you and I go way back and I know that nobody in this company has more heart than you. No man is more beloved by the people in the stands if they be for you who can be against you?”

Hot Dog:

“A twisted old boomer with a chair and his weird...little beardy friend?”

Super Croak:

“And you and I’ve faced down far greater odds! But take heart, for surely someone here tonight will take a stand with you! But here, allow me to give you moral support...with a fresh ice cold Croaka Cola! Croaka Coal: The Snack That Ribbits Back!”

Now holding a can of Croaka Cola, Hot Dog sighs and goes on his way while Croak tries to break up Puma and Time Lord’s scuffle as someone looks on with dismay…

“...”

“Well fans tonight El Hot Dog must find someone to face off with Spike Daryl and Trent Brooke or we may see the end of POW...somehow!”

“Did you see Schultz looking on back there, Johnson? I think he knows that nobody is coming to help that freak and was gloating. Man after my own heart if I had one.”

vs

Puma Cool vs The Time Lord

These two have a problem with each other out of the gate after that buckethead comment and despite Dr. Reeka and Croak trying to keep things civil it was pretty clear that this would be a heated contest. Cool took advantage of his mentor’s good nature by repeatedly accusing Dr. Reeka of cheating in order to distract the superhero long enough to get up to his old dirty tricks on the time traveler. However, Time Lord is nothing if not a canny competitor and after narrowly avoiding a low kick he positioned himself perfectly dodge Puma’s Spin Cycle (Trouble In Paradise) finisher to let him land crotch first on the ropes! With Puma gingerly falling off the ropes he found himself wide open for the Time Shift Portal and the pin!

Winner via Pinfall: The Time Lord

Wesley:

“Well what’s good for the goose is good for the gander it seems as far as being tricky’s concerned.”

Hazard:

“I think Puma may be more concerned with his golden eggs than the fowl who laid them, Johnson, that had to hurt.”

Wesley:

“I-wait I’m getting told something else is going on backstage, let’s see what’s up!”

Hazard:

“What did the Hot Dog get that disgusting drink all over himself? That’d brighten my day!”

We cut to backstage once more, this time locked on a fixture cage with a cardboard sign reading ‘Secret Hideout: Do Not Enter, Do Not Narc - Robin’ duct taped to it. Into the scene walk a pair up to no good…

“I’m tellin’ ya, Lando, we’re bein’ watched.”

“Well yeah, Robin, there’s a camera right there.”

Robin:

“Nah nah nah I mean reeeeally watch, y’know? Like watch watched. Not tv watched but like...Feds.”

The screen begins to go grey as the Tag Partners In Crime look around.

Lando:

“What in the-I heard Sanders was on a shoestring budget but I didn’t know we couldn’t afford technicolor REALITY!”

”The two thieves were spooked harder than a Temperance Leaguer at a Capone family cookout. I made a note to thank Adelina for her intel, wasn’t every day a vampire helped on a stakeout.”

Robin:

“Aw cripes, Lando, it’s that no good private dick! What’re we gonna do!?”

Lando:

“Show yourself you dimestore Dick Tracy!”

”I didn’t let Lando’s taunt get to me, I preferred to let them sweat it out…”

Robin:

“Lando where’s the car?!”

Robin starts looking around for the invisible clown car but Lando shakes his head and walks confidently to a patch of bare space and acts like he’s opening a door…

”Bingo.”

Deadtective moves out from the shadows and confronts the duo.

Deadtective:

“Now, we can do this the easy way or the hard way, what’s it gonna be?”

Lando backs off from the ‘car’.

Lando:

“Easy now, big man, I don’t want trouble and neither does Robin.”

Robin:

“We don’t?”

Lando:

“Just put your hands up Robin.”

Robin puts her hands up with Lando as Deadtective steps forward.

Lando:

“Car’s right there, sir, better inspect it before you book us.”

”Something wasn’t right here, Lando was a smooth operator but even he didn’t give up the ghost so easy...not without a plan. Still, my clients were counting on me, I moved to open the door…”

Deadtective stumbles forward, realizing there’s nothing there, Lando grins wide.

Lando:
“Now.”

“RRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGH!!!!!”

”The body that slammed into me felt more metal than flesh, I flew through the air like a frisbee and came crumpling to a spot on the hard concrete. Clutching my aching head I looked up at the man who’d decided to convincingly cosplay a freight train…”

Deadtective:
“Rampage...thought you were still locked up…”

“Heheheh, got busted out. Villains Union local 666 doesn’t leave members hangin’.”

Deadtective:
“Guess honor among thieves does exist.”

Lando:
“What’d ya think we went up to Canada for in the first place, ya mummy-lookin’ fool?”

Robin:
“Yeah, our Rammy’s gonna mess ya up, now if ya excuse us…”

Robin goes to open the door of the actual invisible clown car...then stumbles as she realizes she doesn’t have anything there either.

Robin:
“Uh Lando, where’s the car?”

Lando:
“The fake car? The one that’s just air? Where I just pick you up and carry you wherever we go?”

Robin:
“Yes.”

Lando:
“I ‘put’ it over the...uhm…”

The camera focus back on Deadtective and Rampage, who lifts a massive combat boot with full intention of stomping down on his head.

Rampage:
“Say your prayers, DEADtective!”

”Hail Terry full of Thunder-”

”HONKA HONKA!”

”That’s not how a car usually sounds…”

An unorthodox sound for an unorthodox car as a pair of blurs smash into Rampage and knock him off the detective! Our hero stands to see his rescuers:

”Well ya pray a silly prayer ya get silly saviors.”

Deadtective gets up with help from Kayo but Mime points out (literally) that the fight is far from over as the TPIC sprint towards our trio.

Lando:
“HEY THAT MUSCLE DIDN’T COME CHEAP!”

Robin:
“I JUST GOT THAT RIDE INVISIBLY DETAILED!”

”And it won’t be long before that chrome dome’s recovered from his case of Schrodinger’s Hit and Run. You two ready for this?

Kayo nods with determination while Mime looks terrified...so Kayo nods his head for him as well.

Suddenly a voice rings out:

“HAAAAAAAAAAANG ON A SECOND!”

The two sides turn their attention to a scraggly giant of a man who just hit the scene:

“Are you all having...a wrestling match?”

Robin:
“What’s it to ya, ya two bit hobo?”

The man gestures to his less than clean referee’s uniform.

Man:
“I uh...could help with that. Make it more...official? Please, it’s been so long since I’ve refereed a real match…”

All involved look at one another and shrug.

Deadtective:
“Not the most prepostorous thing about thi-”

THWACK!

”I gotta stop leaving my guard down before a fight.

vs

Deadtective & The Squared Circle Circus vs The TPIC &Rampage

”I’m no stranger to a brawl, nor am I one to a circus though I try to avoid both for good reasons. I never expected they’d go together like chocolate and peanut butter but here I was duke it out with two pantomime palookas against the world...or at least three of the scummiest people on it. I paired off with Lando for a bit of North v South fisticuffs while Kayo was tied up in a rather ludicrous collar and elbow tieup considering the surroundings, which left Mime to fend off about three hundred and twenty pounds of the most foul-tempered men on the planet...and he didn’t do as bad of a job as I expected. Utilizing his abilities the monochrome man danced circles around his bigger opponent, slamming the door of his invisible car in his face, honking the horn in his ear, I’m pretty sure he even trapped the big galoot in the trunk for a while before he busted out and started chasing after him again. While I doubted he was gonna win that fight it certainly kept him off me and Kayo as we fought his employers...well I fought, Kayo and Robin were STILL locked up and hadn’t budged since the battle had started.

Lando:
“Seriously you two gonna do anything over there?”

Robin:
“Aw dang it they noticed!”

”Caught in the act of slacking off, Robin quickly poked the clown in the eye and they started fighting in earnest. Satisfied, me and Lando returned to the business of bludgeoning each other all over the hideout until Mime and Rampage came running back through and bowled over all of us except Lando.”

Lando:
“Screw this, Robin where’s that stupid invisible car?”

Robin:
“Ungh..over there?”

Lando grabs Robin and runs over to where she pointed, tossing her into the ‘car’ and then picking her back up.

Lando:
“We’re outta here, Rampage, hold ‘em off and we’ll make sure the cash gets to-”

Rampage:
“YOU CAN LIFT A CAR!?”

Lando:
“Shaddup and make sure they don’t follow us!”

Rampage:
“ALRIGHT...no clue what ya needed me for, lifting a whole car like that…”

”I gritted my teeth, dirty cowards-”

Robin:
“WHO GOT THE CAR THO, BOYEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeee…”

”As her taunting voice disappeared down the hallway, I turned my attention back to Rampage. The big man cracked his knuckles and smirked down at me and Mime at my side. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Mime preparing something behind our backs…”

Rampage:
“Okay, for real this time, any last words?”

Deadtective:
“Yeah...ever have the invisible crepes in invisible catering?”

Rampage:
“Aw shaddup you-WHOA!”

”Too late did the goon realize while we were talking Kayo had been tying the laces of his massive combat boots together sending him stumbling into the waiting arms of Mime and myself. As one we ducked and lifted him into a double flapjack that sent him through the invisible table Mime had prepared, invisible crepes and all. Kayo and Mime pounced on the downed supervillain for the pin as I helped myself to some invisible pigs in a blanket and thought of our next move. The TPIC had evaded me again and that car was getting more beat up by the day, if I didn’t act fast there wouldn’t be anything left to save…

Man:
“Phew...been a while...I feel alive after that. Thank’s ya’ll…”

The mysterious man wanders off as the trio pay him no mind.

Winners via Pinfall: Deadtective & The Squared Circle Circus.

Wesley:
“Huh, well that may have been the most dishonorable thing I’ve ever seen, leaving a teammate like that to save your own skins.”

Hazard:
“He knew what he was signing up for, Johnson, besides prisons are like cardboard to that guy he’ll be outta there in a second even if the Local 666 isn’t around to help.”

Wesley:
“They got a union for everything these days, huh?”

Hazard:
“Want in? I can vouch for ya. Solidarstardly Forever!”

Wesley:
“I’ll pass, however it’s time for some more traditional tag team action with the Appalachian Lovebirds against Michael-”

Wesley:
“Who’s that?”

Hazard:
“WHOA am I seeing double? Did Michael Washington clone himself too???”

Wesley:
“What are you talking about that guy looks nothing like-”

Michael Washington takes a seat at commentary as Johnny Moore starts filming at ringside.

Michael:
“Hiya fellas, like my stunt double?”

Wesley:
“STUNT DOUBLE!?”

Hazard:
“The likeness is uncanny, this guy’s good.”

Michael:
“I know right?”

Wesley:
“You’re really using someone else to get out of your match?”

Michael:
“You obviously know nothing about acting, only the lowest of the low do their own stunts.”

Wesley:
“So what’s that make you for the past three months?”

Michael:
“More successful than you’ll ever be-ahem, I just have a nagging injury from last month is all, my lawyers advised this for safety reasons.”

Hazard:
“Stop badgering the man, Johnson, he’s a true American hero!”

Wesley:
“Ugh, well while I deal with this handicap match at the commentary desk let’s see the tag bout going on in the ring!”

vs
The Appalachian Lovebirds vs Xavier Guttierez & ‘Michael Washington’

Missy and Earl both look disgusted at this hollywood trickery and the fans are right there with them, though Xavier tries to diffuse matters by pointing out legally the man he is tagging with is Michael Washington but nobody’s having it (aside from Dr. Hazard because he’s a suckup). When the bell rings Earl and Missy have a lot of anger to take out on the stunt double but he does have one of Washington’s mannerisms down pat: Hanging back and letting Xavier take the brunt of the punishment. When he finally does come in he proves to be quite talented in his own right, handily outgrappling Missy and outmaneuvering Earl with practiced aplomb, Wesley notes that by sheer fact he hasn’t been pinned yet he’s already doing better than the genuine article.

Growing a tad annoyed at the insinuation Washington barks orders at his double to tag Xavier back which he dutifully does which immediately allows the Lovebirds to rally and beat the living crap out of the Lawyer. Multiple times Xavier attempts to make the tag but Washington orders that the lawyer remain the legal man despite Johnny Moore coming over and trying to explain the point of a stunt double is for them to...do stunts. Washington folds his arms and while he’s arguing with his documentarian Xavier finally gets a tag in to the double. Washington tries to get him back out of the ring but the double is too busy running wild on the duo, wrestling a far cleaner match than his subject, a powerbomb reversal of a huricanrana puts Earl out of commission with a superkick followup to down Missy for a pin and it’s a victory for the film crew.

Winners via Pinfall: Xavier Guttierez & ‘Michael Washington’

As soon as the bell rings Washington is in like a bullet, shoving his double out of the way and celebrating with Xavier in the middle of the ring, barking at the mysterious man to get out of his shot. Washington’s celebrationd doesn’t last too long however as someone has a microphone…

Missy:
“Ya’ll must think yer somethin’ real special, huh city boy?”

Washington smirks and flexes, waggling his flag almost tauntingly.

Missy:
“Yeah yeah, ah see yer flag, an’ the way yew carry on ya might as well be usin’ it fer toilet paper!”

The crowd oooooohs as Washington begins to step up towards the southern gal, Earl goes to intercept but Missy waves him off.

Missy:
“Oh no hun, ah got this. Now yew listen here yew no good Yankee so’n so, the only time ya’ve won in this here ring’s when ya got some hired help well next month how’s about you’n I go one on one fancy boy?”

Washington looks incensed for a moment then smirks, nodding along despite Johnny and Xavier looking a bit worried.

Missy:
“Goody, hope ya find yer boy bits by this time next month, Mikey, cuz it’s gonna be high noon and this girl don’t miss.”

Flicking off the so-called patriot, Missy drops the mic and steps to the back with her fiance in tow, Earl looking back and glaring daggers at Washington.

Hazard:
“That girl has no idea what she’s getting herself in for, Washington manhandled her this whole match and now she wants a one-on-one?”

Wesley:
“You cannot be this much of a bootlicker!”

Hazard:
“I can as long as my ticket to hollywood’s in earshot!”

Hazard catches Washington giving him a sideeye.

Hazard:
“I mean the most American American to ever America!”

Washington nods and leads his group to the back as the Star Spangled Banner starts to play and a new patriot makes his presence known:

The American Standard!

Wesley:
“So you mean to tell me that he’s even more American than that guy?”

Hazard:
“He’s the most American American in the WORLD!”

Wesley:
“In history?

Hazard:
“In this or any timeline or dimension!”

“BLASPHEMY!”

Hazard:
“...you set me up for that you no good-GLK!”

The recently arrived Pharaoh starts strangling Dr. Hazard as Wesley snickers. Eventually however The Standard has enough of his similarly spangled foe and goes to pull him off leading to us having a match!

vs
The American Standard vs The American Pharaoh

Despite the Standard having the element of surprise by hauling Pharaoh off of Dr. Hazard his natural sportsmanship leads him to allowing his opponent to be let go in order to have a fair bout between them. Unfortunately Pharaoh’s not about that life and goes on a vicious assault of the saccharine patriot that shows off an edge few had seen before in the agent of temporal regime change. A positively disgusting Shock and Ra sees Standard down for the count in short order, Pharaoh glaring angrily in the direction of a very afraid Dr. Hazard the whole three count.

Winner Via Pinfall: American Pharaoh

As Pharaoh celebrates his victory by booting his foe from the ring he summons forth his timeline clone to stand beside him.

Pharaoh:
“Now all see the truth, am I not glorious? Have I not been chosen by Ra, Horus, and the Holy Ghost themselves to bring glory to this land? Behold and witness, The Time Lord and his alchemist dare not stand against me tonight and shall not do so anon! My power is unmatched and unquestioned, I can do anything, I can defeat anyone, I can destroy, I can CREATE!”

Stretching out his hand he makes the lights flicker and sci-fi noises come through the speakers again until the light go out...when they come back on-

Oh this is getting out of hand, now there’s THREE of them!

A third Pharaoh stands triumphant amongst his fellows, a truly terrifying prospect.

Pharaoh:
“See now we stand, glorious and triumphant, gods in human form, Founding Fathers of a new empire that all shall know of and despair! You would all do well bow forever and a day, erect monuments to our glory-”

We cut from that to a monitor backstage where Time Lord and Dr. Reeka are standing by and looking on with despair.

“That fool has no idea what he’s doing to the timestream, old bean!”

“I must concur, my instruments detect a massive disruption unlike anything I’ve seen since the two of you came forward in time from your match. If he continues like this we could see a total tachyonic reversal that would send us crashing into a completely different timeline!”

Time Lord:
“And if that happens we’d see another world super-imposed onto our own. Who knows what strange lands we could end up smashing into, their alien customs, their strange promotion names…”

“-their horrific choice in profile picture backgrounds!”

Reeka:
“We have to find a way to banish at least one of those horrible tyrants to another timestream if we want to have a hope of saving ours! I give us...until september 13th to accomplish this before we’re all destroyed!”

Time Lord:
“September 13th? But isn’t that-?”

Reeka:
“Indeed my friend...the very anniversary of POW’s formation itself!”

“DUN DUN DUHHHHHH!”

Both Time Lord and Reeka look over to where that noise came from.

“Sorry, just seemed appropriate, carry on.”

Nicky wanders off and Reeka and Time Lord race off screen to form a plan of action, just in time for our next match!

vs

Familia Nopții (Creepsley & Dreamscape: New Nightmare) vs The Party Animals

Sans their leader this bout the Familia are a touch...directionless considering two of them are Adelina’s bodyguard and the other is literally her butler. Creepsley attempts to take leadership but for the most part both Scaremare and Frightening ignore him to do their own thing against the united front of the party animals. In the mix of these high fliers Creepsley is very much the odd former-man out as his body is incapable of fully copying the antics of those around him and that comes back to haunt his team as he falls victim for a victory roll from Kat while DISCO and DJ fended off his partners.

Winners via pinfall: The Party Animals

As Adelina Dracula comes down for her match (and to berate her underlings for their failure) we cut to an intrepid camera man trying to get footage of a conversation going on backstage…

“-nd that means you follow my lead you understand me boy?!”

“One I was hired to be your partner, not your lackey. Two, this is NOT what we’re here to do. We got good money to do a job and you’ve got us gallivanting off on a side gig for no other reason than your ego!”

Spike:
“It ain’t about my ego it’s about what wrestling’s really about, besides it ain’t like he ain’t gonna get hired in other places we can just follow him and mess him up there ya understand?”

Brooke:
“If he finds out about this you are so done you know that right?”

Spike:
“Oh he can sit and spin for all I care, he didn’t give us no other instructions.”

Brooke:
“Better hope he doesn’t hear you say that.”

Spike:
“He won’t if you know what’s...good...fer-HEY!”

Spike notices the camera and starts advancing on it as we cut back to the ring for our semi Main Event.

vs
Thom Schultz vs Adelina Dracula

The fans aren’t normally on the side of the self-proclaimed Living Legend but when going up against a vampiric mafia princess intent on draining the blood of the entire human race well...kind of a jerk is a far lesser sin. Nevertheless Adelina kept Schultz on the backstep for more than her fair share of the match, helped greatly by Creepsley back in his support role giving her her precious...exceedingly red milkshakes. Hint hint. Buoyed by the power the concoction gave her, Adelina cut a briskpace on Schultz that saw her nearly pin the veteran multiple times throughout the match.

However Schultz didn’t get to where he was by backing down from a challenge -vampiric or otherwise- and his strategy for a comeback became clear when he goaded Adelina into going for another of her milkshakes then kicked Creepsley’s platter back into his face and sent him tumbling from the apron in a splatter of milkshakes. Incensed by this, Adelina went on the attack again but soon found herself repeatedly caught in Schultz’s patented backslide again and again for nearfall after nearfall. Heedless of the toll it took to kick out of each pin attempt, Adelina found herself worn down enough that after fifteen minutes of back and forth action, a superkick from Schultz sealed the deal on her.

Winner via Pinfall: Thom Schultz

Wesley:
“An impressive victory by the Living Legend, knocking off the leader of one of our most devious factions!”

Hazard:
“Creepsley’s getting an earful tonight that’s for certain, screwing up in that trios match AND costing his boss like that, he-uh...Johnson?”

Wesley:
“Yes?”

Hazard:
“Schultz is still here.”

Wesley:
“I’ve noticed.”

Schultz, still in the ring, motions for a microphone…

Schultz:
“Heh...heh...well, can’t exactly call myself Van Helsing, huh? Heck I’m barely Edgar Frog…”

Schultz pants and shakes his head.

Schultz:
“But enough about the creatures of the night, let’s talk about the feature of tonight: The Main Event. Now I’m gonna be real, I’m a legend, I’m the best wrestler in this company and bigger star than any single one of those kids in the back!”

The crowd, understandably, boos.

Schultz:
“But I’m a legend in THIS company, this place pays my bills, puts food on my table, and keeps Mrs. Schultz in the dresses she likes so much! So Spikey, Trent, and you Hot Dog are in for a surprise because much like POW the Living Legend is here to stay until you haul your carcasses out to this ring and I show you all why I’m the best!”

The crowd cheers somewhat reluctantly as the old blowhard declares his allegiance in the most self-serving way possible but we have ourselves a main event.

MAIN EVENT
vs
Thom Schultz & El Hot Dog vs Spike Daryl & Trent Brooke

Hot Dog comes to the ring looking leery of the man he’s tangled with prior to Daryl and Brooke’s invasion while Schultz remains smirking all the while. On the other side of the ring Daryl matches Schultz’s smugness while remarking ‘It all worked out’ to a disgruntled Brooke on their way to the ring. Hazard postulates the fix is in but is quickly disabused of that idea when Brooke starts the match trying to beat the living stuffing out of Schultz with a series of rapid fire kicks to his chest that leaves the Living Legend wheezing for air and almost leaves him open for the Thresher Flail out of the gate until Hot Dog tags himself in. Brooke tries to get some cheap shots in as Hot Dog takes his characteristically sweet time getting in the ring but all of his kicks bounce off the inflatable carapace of our beloved hero and leave him open for the world’s bounciest dragon screw once Hot Dog is ready.

Hot Dog runs wild on Brooke, catching his opponent with repeated hip tosses, arm drags, and lariats before sending him stumbling back into his corner with a dropkick he immediately bounces back up from to the glee of the crowd. A furious Spike Daryl tags himself in and goes after Hot Dog with the same limb-targeting offense he used to great effect last month, but Hot Dog has it scouted this time and is keen to punish his attempts by maneuvering his buns-er, bun in the way of Spike’s strikes. Being unable to out wrestle a man in a literal hot dog suit turns Spike to his tried and true method of cheating to try and secure victory with repeated pokes and scratches to the eyes leaving the beloved heart of POW open for a roll up with Spike’s feet on the ropes for leverage!

1!

2!

Thom Schultz runs into the ring with a wicked knee drop to Spike’s extended legs that leaves the veteran rolling around the ring in agony. Looking like the cat that ate the canary for out-rudo’ing the most hated man in wrestlilng, Thom doesn’t see Trent Brooke coming his way for with a big dropkick over the top rope and out. Brooke sets up a big tope suicida onto Schultz on the outside but finds himself running directly into the Mustard Based Assault by Hot Dog that knocks him flat! Calling on the fans, Hot Dog looks poised for another big move on the youngster when Spike Daryl cuts him off in turn. Awkwardly positioning himself, Spike hoists Hot Dog up for the Spike Bomb when his legs buckle and he topples back with Hot Dog on top of him! Bouncing back to his feet and looking to the fans for approval, Hot Dog laboriously scales the corner and launches himself off with the Sausage Link Senton onto the downed veteran. Brooke crawls to break up the pin but is kept in place by Schultz as Shinji Kato counts the pin!

1!

2!

3!

It’s over, Hot Dog basks in the adoration of the fans as Schultz has a breather back against the guardrails. Daryl and Brooke are left to limp to the back as Hot Dog locks eyes with his partner for this match. The tension is thick in the air as Hot Dog offers his hand from in the ring but Schultz just nonchalantly wipes a thumb across his nose and shrugs, slipping away and leaving Hot Dog to celebrate as we end the Clusterfun!

Winners via Pinfall: Thom Schultz & El Hot Dog!</div>

Pteroid · July 26, 2021

Paragons of Wrestling 2: The Sequel Presents

They Put All The Good Parts In The Trailer

Featuring...

Clash of the TRItans Preview Match

El Hot Dog Super Croak & Puma Cool vs The American Pharaohs

Thom Schultz vs Trent Brooke

Adelina Dracula vs DISCO Fox vs Earl Ray Travis vs Johnny Moore

Dreamscape: New Nightmare vs The Time Lord & Dr. Euan Reeka

Missy Sippy vs Michael Washington

The TPIC vs Kat & DJ Swizzlestixx

smw88 · July 26, 2021

Clash of the TRItans Preview Match

El Hot Dog Super Croak & Puma Cool vs The American Pharaohs

Thom Schultz vs Trent Brooke

Adelina Dracula vs DISCO Fox vs Earl Ray Travis vs Johnny Moore

Dreamscape: New Nightmare vs The Time Lord & Dr. Euan Reeka

Missy Sippy vs Michael Washington

The TPIC vs Kat & DJ Swizzlestixx

DarK_RaideR · July 26, 2021

IT'S THE LONG AWAITED RETURN OF TINY JACKSON!

Bonus points if he goes by Hobo Jackson or something like that.

El Hot Dog Super Croak & Puma Cool vs The American Pharaohs

Thom Schultz vs Trent Brooke

Adelina Dracula vs DISCO Fox vs Earl Ray Travis vs Johnny Moore

Dreamscape: New Nightmare vs The Time Lord & Dr. Euan Reeka

Missy Sippy vs Michael Washington

The TPIC vs Kat & DJ Swizzlestixx

jhd1 · July 26, 2021

I can't believe I missed one! A great couple of shows Pteroid!

Clash of the TRItans Preview Match

El Hot Dog Super Croak & Puma Cool vs The American Pharaohs

Thom Schultz vs Trent Brooke

Adelina Dracula vs DISCO Fox vs Earl Ray Travis vs Johnny Moore

Dreamscape: New Nightmare vs The Time Lord & Dr. Euan Reeka

Missy Sippy vs Michael Washington

The TPIC vs Kat & DJ Swizzlestixx

Big Roguey · July 26, 2021

Clash of the TRItans Preview Match

El Hot Dog Super Croak & Puma Cool vs The American Pharaohs

Thom Schultz vs Trent Brooke

Adelina Dracula vs DISCO Fox vs Earl Ray Travis vs Johnny Moore

Dreamscape: New Nightmare vs The Time Lord & Dr. Euan Reeka

Missy Sippy vs "Michael Washington"

The TPIC vs Kat & DJ Swizzlestixx

Tiberious · July 26, 2021

Clash of the TRItans Preview Match

El Hot Dog Super Croak & Puma Cool vs The American Pharaohs

Croaky & Puma could use a win, and El Hot Dog is the perfect partner to help them get one.

Thom Schultz vs Trent Brooke

He just feels more important right now.

Adelina Dracula vs DISCO Fox vs Earl Ray Travis vs Johnny Moore

Adelina has been positioned more prominently than the other three, and could use a rebound win after last show.

Dreamscape: New Nightmare vs The Time Lord & Dr. Euan Reeka

I've always been a big Dreamscape fan.

Missy Sippy vs "Michael Washington"

I suspect the real Michael Washington swaps out when he thinks the match is won and then loses it.

The TPIC vs Kat & DJ Swizzlestixx

Could go either way, but I'll take TPIC.

Pteroid · July 29, 2021

Paragons of Wrestling 2: The Sequel Presents

They Put All The Good Parts In The Trailer!

Attendance: 63

“Welcome ladies and gentlemen to another exciting POW-2 Event-

“They Put All The Good Parts In The Trailer, Johnson!”

Wesley:

“We had a trailer for this?”

Hazard:

“No, that's the name of the show, I think Sanders might have a bone to pick with the Splendor Cinematic Universe.”

Wesley:

“In any case we’re set for our first contest here tonight with some tag team action so let’s get going!”

vs

The Party Animals (Kat & DJ Swizzlestixx) vs The TPIC

A fresh clash between teams unfamiliar with each other started off the night as Kat and DJ brought it to the TPIC. Helped considerably by the dastardly duo being jumpy at the prospect of Deadtective still on their trail, Kat and Swizzlestixx worked the match like a well oiled machine, easily out-maneuvering Big Lando and thwarting Robin’s varied attempts at cheating. At one point Robin was knocked off the apron and writhed around in agony on the floor, causing some brief stirring in the audience before she shrieked in horror that she landed on the car which garnered more than a few chuckles.

With Lando forced to take on the Party Animals by himself it seemed like he was in for a world of hurt when-

Wesley:

“Can we have ONE match with either of these teams without the other butting in!?”

Frightening hopped up onto the apron from out of nowhere and distracted the referee while Scaremare slipped in behind DJ and spun him around into a sickening brainbuster. As Robin delivered her patented ‘yank their partner off the apron’ tactic to Kat, Big Lando hauled DJ up for his spinning neckbreaker and got the pin in a sickening display.

Winners via Pinfall: The TPIC

Post-match Dreamscape hit the ring to beat down on DJ until Kat runs in and starts brawling with them, allowing DJ enough time to recover and join the fray for a messy slugfest!

Wesley:

“We were having an excellent match out here and once again the feud between the Familia and the Party Animals gets in the way!”

Hazard:

“Well if those two ghouls have anything to say about it it ends tonight, Johnson-hey wait where are those two going?”

With Dreamscape and the Animals taking up everyone’s attention Robin and Lando go to make their escape-

”Like the ball to my mitt, the two thieves were on a collision course with justice.”

Robin:

“OHHHHH no, you freak, I’m going the other way!”

Robin turns around and starts marching back towards ringside.

”No matter where she tried to run, the long arm of my investigation was waiting.”

Robin:

“Wha-ok I’ll go this way then!”

Lando:

“Robin.”

Robin turns around and starts heading to the back.

”As she tried again to evade me I couldn’t help but think of the fly thrashing helplessly in the spider’s web.”

Robin:

“GAAAAAAH! WHERE ARE YOU!?”

Robin starts pacing this way and that, eyes wide, head whipping around.

Lando:

“ROBIN!”

Robin:

“WHAT?!”

Lando:

“He’s right there.”

Lando points to the other side of the guardrail where indeed Deadtective is standing.

“Hello.”

Robin:

“YOU! Yooooou! Will you knock this off already!? We stole this car fair and square, it’s ours!”

Deadtective:

“The invisible title in the invisible glovebox says otherwise.”

Lando:

“Look I’m gettin’ real sick of you, bandage face, what’s it gonna take to end you gettin’ in our business?”

Deadtective:

“A certificate from Crime-aholics Anonymous and a half year of good behavior?”

Robin:

“Sheesh, just put me back in the clink.”

Deadtective:

“Or we could have a match, next month, winner gets the car.”

Lando:

“Chyeah right, you got those two literal clowns with ya and our backup’s back in Toronto Ultramax, we ain’t takin’ those odds.”

Deadtective:

“I’m not gonna need the clowns, it’ll just be me and my partner, promise.”

Robin:

“Lando?”

Lando:

“Feh, fine, bring whatever little goody goody buddy you got, we’ll rip him and you a new one then get on with the next heist.”

Deadtective:

“It’s a deal then, you have a nice night now.”

Robin:

“We will! With our invisible car! Then we’ll beat you and your friend! I bet they’re invisible too!”

Robin storms off with Lando trailing behind, as they go Deadtective pulls the brim of his hat down over his bandaged face.

”They were angry, they were motivated, and they were ready for a fight. It was gonna take everything in my arsenal to get that car back. Thankfully they’d played right into my hands…’invisible friend’, that girl didn’t know how right she was…”

Hazard:

“What’s that mean!? Johnson, how many invisible things are in this confounded company!?”

Wesley:

“That car, the title, the glovebox, anything to do with Mime...Michael Washington’s fanbase…”

Hazard:

“You take that back, that man is an American treasure!”

Wesley:

“He’s a bit more like a dragon hoarding it, really.”

Hazard:

“He better not hear you say that, oh look here he comes now!”

Wesley:

“Is it the-yep, it’s the Stunt Double again. Whatever he’s paying this guy, it is clearly not enough.”

Hazard:

“Oh I’m sure he’s fine, he’s not one of those SAG losers.”

Wesley:

“I thought you were in a union!”

Hazard:

“I am, so are the police and they’d bust a teamster’s head in a second.”

Wesley:

“Ugh…”

vs

Missy Sippy vs “Michael Washington”

Missy is naturally unimpressed with Washington hiding behind his stunt double once again, throwing abuse at the genuine article at ringside while he camps out to be waited on by Xavier and Moore. The stunt double, meanwhile, is at least game enough to wrestle a clean match despite Washington’s calls for more punishment on the outside, really leaning into the role of the All-American hero as he goes for a technical bout with the more rough and tumble gal from Appalachia. Granted that doesn’t do much to allay Missy’s anger as she tries to punish Washington by proxy and finds herself getting caught more and more by the double’s skill until an attempt at a running shoulder ram in the corner saw the double move and Missy smash her into the metal corner.

Something is clearly wrong as Missy groggily drags herself out and holds her arm, the double and referee Kato check on her when suddenly-

“Ok I’m ready for my scene!”

Kato and the double are shocked when Michael Washington enters the ring and advances on Missy. Kato moves to stop him but Xavier gets his attention from the apron and holds up paperwork explaining that the double’s contract stipulates that he and Washington can switch places at any time and Kato will be in hot water if he interferes in the documentary. The double’s own attempt to intervene is shouted down by Johnny Moore who tells him to get out of the shot if he wants to keep his job and he quickly scampers out as Washington drags a helpless Missy to the center of the ring and locks in a seated armbar. Missy bangs her fist on the mat and howls in pain as Washington mugs for the camera, interspersing it with snarls for Missy to give up. The country girl persists however and Washington just keep cranking and cranking until-

“GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!”

Kato calls for the bell and Washington releases as Missy thrashes around the ring, holding her arm…

Winner via injury stoppage: Michael Washington

Washington brings in his crew to celebrate but it lasts all of a nanosecond before-

“AH’LL KILL YEW!”

Earl Ray Travis hits the ring with a chair and sends the documentary crew scattering with the exception of the stunt double who is trying to help Missy up. The double holds up his hands and begs off, trying to explain that wasn’t him (no matter what the contract says) and Earl angrily growls at him to get out of the ring before he gets what Washington has coming to him. The double runs off, leaving Earl and Referee Kato to grab up Missy and bring her to the back for the medics to look at.

Wesley:

“I am absolutely mortified by what we just witnessed.”

Hazard:

“I know...how dare that dastardly double do that to poor Missy!”

Wesley:

“I AM IN NO MOOD FOR YOUR NONSENSE!”

Hazard:

“Uhhh shutting up!”

Wesley:

“We...we have something going on in the back, let’s go to that, I need a minute. Disgusting…”

We cut to the back where a pair of heroes are preparing to embark on step one of their great quest:

“Well, chap, do you have the devices?”

“Indeed, I believe I can cobble something together but I’ll need time and the uhm...proper material.”

The Time Lord nods as the duo stand before the entrance to the Familia Nopții’s locker room.

Time Lord:

“Well, let’s go get it then.”

Exhaling, Dr. Reeka knocks on the door which creaks open slowly to reveal...a pitch black room.

Voice:

“Welcome, gentlemen.”

Time Lord & Reeka:

“GAH!”

The pair jumps as the voice comes from behind them, turning to reveal:

“Please, Mistress Dracula is enjoying her Carly Rae Jepsen record on her mePhone, you cannot be heard over it.”

Adelina’s Voice:

“Too late, Creepsley, these two nerds have ruined a good thing, might as well let them in before I like, decide to feed without the milkshakes.”

A single red spotlight illuminates the center of the room where sits:

“Well? Hurry up, losers.”

Creepsley hurries into the room ahead of Time Lord and Reeka, delivering one of his mistress’ trademark milkshakes for her to slurp on.

Time Lord:

“Adelina Dracula we come to bargain in accord with the ancient-”

Adelina:

“Ugh, whatever Boomer just get to the point.”

Reeka:

“We uhm...we understaind you are a woman who enjoys her wagers. We would like to make one…”

Adelina scoffs and smirks.

Adelina:

“And what can you two dweebs want of me? Skincare tutorials are free on viewtube, y’know~”

Time Lord:

“We require an audience.”

Adelina:

“You’ve...already got one. I thought time travel required a bit of intelligence, then again I guess that brute in the tacky headdress is more brawn than brain himself...all three of him. Would swipe right though, no lie.”

Time Lord:

“Not with you…”

Adelina’s eyes go wide, she smiles wider.

Adelina:

“Now what would the mice want with the mother of cats I wonder? Eugh, I’m starting to sound like that uggo detective…”

Reeka:

“We understand he’s in possession of an artifact we require if we’re going to undo what the American Pharaoh’s doing to our timeline.”

Adelina:

“Hmm...well this is fun, it’s a gamble I can’t lose! If I win you get humiliated, if I lose you get...well, Creepsley needs some lessons in leadership for when I’m away...you’d make lovely ghouls.”

Reeka audibly gulps and eyes the butler who seems a bit more...smug than usual. Time Lord retains his nerve.

Time Lord:

“The next match, if we defeat Dreamscape will we have our meeting?”

Adelina:

“Hmm...bargained and done, nerdlinger. I look forward to your huskification.”

Time Lord and Reeka nod at each other and make for the ring, the red spotlight slowly illuminates the figures of Frightening and Scaremare behind Adelina.

Adelina:

“Make sure they have a closed casket funeral.”

vs

Dreamscape: New Nightmare vs Time Lord and Dr. Euan Reeka

With the crowd still reeling from Washingotn intentionally injuring Missy this match brought some much needed levity back to the proceedings as Time Lord and Reeka tried to outsmart their ghoulish opponents. As is often the case with attempts to outsmart mindless things (such as brick walls) it’s a bit of a case of overthinking rather than outthinking as their various strategies mostly see poor Dr. Reeka getting easily spooked back out of the ring. With the fate of the timestream on the line though The Time Lord is more than ready to pick up the slack and engages the two nightmarish luchadors on their own terms and manages an early Time Shift Portal that only a breakup from Scaremare keeps Dreamscape in the game. However, the Lord and Doc have one thing going for them as a unit:

Their opponents royally ticked off another team earlier in the night.

What’s good for the goose is good for the gander as Kat perches herself on the top rope and grooms herself to get the attention of everyone in the ring, interrupting a move from Scaremare on the opposite corner. With eyes towards her DJ Swizzlestixx got up on the apron with an airhorn and scared the living daylights out of Scaremare and sending him flipping off the top rope onto his back! As Frightening goes after Kat, Referee Kato notices when the Dr. pounces on top of Scaremare and counts the pin to end a screwy match.

Winners via Pinfall: Time Lord & Dr. Euan Reeka

The Party Animals retreat with Dreamscape in pursuit asa Time Lord and Reeka celebrate their come from behind victory when-

“Oh no no no no no, you cheated! If those cringey animals hadn’t interrupted the match you two would have-”

Time Lord and Reeka go to make Adelina change her mind when-

“OUTTA THE WAAAAAAAY!”

Johnny Moore comes running out from the back with-

“YER MINE, CITY BOY!!!”

An extremely irate Earl Ray Travis chasing after him, in the ring Johnny tries to mount a defense but Earl just wails on him.

Adelina goes to enter the ring but Reeka and Time Lord block her, staring her down without Dreamscape to help and Creepsley oddly absent she glares at them both.

“‘Scuse me, just gonna scooch on by here~!”

DISCO Fox slips by all three to enter the melee already in the ring. Referee Kato is calling for Adelina to enter the ring, giving her twenty seconds or else she’ll be excluded from the match!

Time Lord:

“Well, Princess?”

Adelina:

“Grrr...FINE, it’s your funeral though!”

Adelina is allowed to pass and our scheduled four-way is underway!

vsvsvs

DISCO Fox vs Adelina Dracula vs Earl Ray Travis vs Johnny Moore

Already chaotic with three people in the ring, the addition of Adelina turns this into a match that probably should have been held at the Clusterfun last month. Bodies fly everywhere as all four contestants try and seek victory, Earl zeroing in on getting revenge by proxy on Johnny, DISCO trying to show off his aerial prowess, Adelina attempting to get her faction back on track, and Johnny just trying to get the match over so he can run away back to wherever the rest of Washington’s entourage escaped to. The spotlight shines on each competitor for a time, with a particular highlight of Johnny Moore almost pinning Adelina with a sunset flip before taking a headkick from Earl to reverse the pin in the vampiress’ favor before DISCO kicked them back over again and again until both tecnicos shrugged and tried to pin their rivals at the same time for a near fall.

However, at the end Earl’s hatred for Johnny cost him as while the documentarian tried to leave the match, Earl tried to catch him on the apron and just got Johnny’s phone cracked over his noggin, sending him back into the waiting arms of Adelina who nailed Your Last MiStake after tossing DISCO from the ring and got the pin. Escaping before DISCO could try and get any post-match revenge, Adelina linked up with Creepsley on the way to the back and berated him for not being around to help her cheat. Earl didn’t stay down for long and still enraged on his beloved’s behalf, stormed to the back with an uneven sway in his step...

Winner via Pinfall: Adelina Dracula.

We quickly go from that match to another couple of folks backstage but this pair of far more dubious morals than Time Lord and Reeka…

“I ain’t lost...I ain’t lost...I ain’t lost to no two-bit hot dog...no...no I did not…”

“Hey, grandpa, you listening to me?”

Spike Daryl has a thousand yard stare, sat in almost a fetal position next to a crate labeled ‘office supplies’ backstage. Trent Brooke looks annoyed to be dealing with him.

Brooke:

“This is getting ridiculous, remember the mission you stupid old coot?”

Daryl:

“..ain’t...lost…”

Brooke:

“Ugh why do I even try with you. Schultz is laughing at us because you’re letting yourself fixate on the idiot in the hot dog suit. Yeah you lost to him, I lost to him but guess what? It doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter if this place is still standing, what matters is that Thom Schultz is miserable for as long as the boss wants him to be! Now get off your geriatric rear and help me!”

Daryl doesn’t move, Trent angrily kicks the crate and snaps a board. Grumbling he storms off as something falls out of the crate and Daryl stares at it and slowly goes to pick it up as the camera cuts…

Wesley:

“It seems our invaders are having some more trouble in paradise.”

Hazard:

“Something is very wrong with that Daryl fellow, Johnson, I think whoever he’s working for better be in the market for some kind of replacement but Brooke seems to have his eye on the ball. Wonder who Schultz made so angry to want to make his entire life miserable…”

Wesley:

“Half the roster of Lucha Americana?”

Hazard:

“Seems too easy...someone else.

Wesley:

“The other half of the roster of Lucha Americana?”

Hazard:

“Oh hush, we have a match to commentate on!”

vs

Thom Schultz vs Trent Brooke

Thom Schultz gets a heroes welcome as he comes out, something he has not been used to since POW restarted in January. Like a dog that caught the car he isn’t sure what to make of the fans’ newfound adulation of him but he takes to basking in it quickly enough. Meanwhile his opponent for the evening is all business and evil intentions as Brooke wastes no time going after Schultz with all the ferocity the young lion can bring to bear. Unfortunately as we saw with Earl earlier, anger can only get you so far and it’s a matter of time before Brooke is getting caught in backslide after backslide from Schultz, the fans counting along with every one of them until Brooke rolls out of the ring to catch his bearings. His opponent taking his eye off the ball, Schultz capitalizes by heading to the apron and running in with a boot that puts Brooke off his balance long enough for Thom to wow everyone with a picture perfect asai moonsault!

A rather close nearfall after this, the living legend tried to continue to dominate the match but an eye rake by Trent halted him in his tracks and gave the 21st Century Caveman the momentum he needed to start applying torturous holds to the veteran. Schultz is worked over with hold after hold, with special attention paid to his legs in order to stop any more high risk maneuvers or his patented superkick. However, Schultz has the Thresher Flail in particular scouted and counters the attempt to lock it in with a surprise pin for a near fall. Finally able to separate from Brooke, Schultz goes to get up with help from ropes-but Brooke runs in to try and kick his legs out from under him. Seeing him coming, Schultz uses the ropes to leap up and dodge the kick, grabbing Brooke on the way down and delivering a russian leg sweep! With both men down the fans rally behind Schultz and he manages to stand just a moment ahead of Brooke, harnessing their support he nails the Superkick and practically falls on his younger opponent for the victory!

Winner via Pinfall: Thom Schultz

Wesley:

“Well if Trent’s plan was to make Schultz miserable I can safely say it’s backfired entirely, Thom Schultz is feeling the love here tonight!”

Hazard:

“Ugh it makes me sick, really, frankly if whoever sent Brooke and Daryl here had just not done anything these pukes in the audience would still despise him. Now I’m the only one witnessing this that does.”

We cut to a pre-tape promo before the main event where former POW Sidekicks champions:

“HOT DOG!”

“JUMPING FROG!”

Are with-

“What is with you two?”

Hot Dog

“Croaky your disciple ruined the bit.”

Croak:

“Apologies, friend Hot Dog, this one is not keen to our ways!”

Puma:

“Your ways of what? Shouting what you are like Packymon?”

Hot Dog:

“It’s a battle cry!”

Croak:

“The shout of brotherhood! The thing dynamic duos and viral commericals are made of! Come now!”

Hot Dog:

“HOT DOG!”

Croak:

“JUMPING FROG!”

Puma:

“...nerds.”

Hot Dog:

“Uggggh...Croaky!”

Croak:

“You’re supposed to say what’s on the sticky note I gave you.”

Puma:

“Yeah I’m not doing that. I don’t why I still hang out with you, even, it’s not like I’m court ordered to be teaming with you.”

Hot Dog:

“Oh leave it, Croaks, this one clearly doesn’t have his heart in it.”

Croak:

“Yes, dare I say he is not...Cool enough.”

Puma:

“...’scuse me?”

Hot Dog:

“Only the coolest of the cool would adopt our battle cry.”

Croak:

“And you clearly are too craven to join us. It’s to be expected, one with a heart black as coal could not ever truly burn in the fires of brotherhood the likes of we know!”

Puma:

“Psh, I could say this stupid word, I just don’t want to.”

Croak:

“Don’t want to? Or perhaps your spirit is so dampened by the chilliness of deceit that our true display of camraderie repels you! I dare you, Puma Cool, shed your veneer of detachment and join us! Join us in the true coolness of-”

Hot Dog:

“HOT! DOG!”

Croak:

“JUMPING! FROG!”

Puma:

“AAAAAALLLLLLBUQUERQUE!”

Hot Dog and Super Croak cheer as Puma realizes what he just did and slaps his forehead.

Puma:

“I hate you both.”

And with that, it’s main event time.

MAIN EVENT TRIOS ACTION!

vs

The American Pharaoh (all three of him) vs Hot Dog, Jumping Frog, Pumaquerque-er, Puma Cool

The was the first outing for both American Pharaoh(s) and Puma Cool in a POW main event and they all certainly fit in with veteran absurdists Hot Dog, Jumping Frog (Albuquerque) as we kicked things off with the Pharaohs showing deference to Super Croak’s capitalist ways when offered an ice cold trio of cans of Croaka Cola Red Glare (two months ahead of its July 4th release!) and enjoying a cold one with the boys. These pleasantries were interrupted by Puma kicking one of Pharaoh in the gut and delivering a sort of sit-out cutter to the CIA Monarch that left his teammates aghast. He sheepishly declared it just kinda felt like the right thing to do before the match descended into chaos from there.

The three Pharaohs were naturally predisposed to working together being each other and all that but Hot Dog and Croak were former tag champs in their own right and with Puma slowly beginning to mesh with his self-proclaimed mentor it made for quite an even struggle. With the POW faithful on their side the tecnico squad cut a fast pace that only slowed when the Pharaoh (we assume the original) caught Puma with a uranage and began working some weardown holds on the mat. Cutting off the rookie from his corner the Pharaohs paid the youngster back big time for his earlier transgression by utterly pounding him again and again. Spurred on by Hot Dog and Super Croak the fans rally behind Puma with chants of Albuquerque that surprisingly allow him to duck a Shock and Ra to tag in Super Croak!

Full of vigor, Super Croak runs wild on all three of the Pharaohs, flooring the three of them with lariats before leaping onto the top rope for a Quenchsault that takes all three out! He goes for a pin!

1!

2!

TRIPLE KICKOUT!

In retrospect perhaps not the best idea spreading out the impact on three bodies, let alone attempting a pin on them all afterwards. Still it looked cool. Croak isn’t one to rest on his laurels however and goes to waylay the Pharaohs with a big crossbody...only to get caught by all three and hoisted onto one’s shoulders for a triple powerbomb! Puma Cool runs into the ring and cross chops his way through a double clothesline from two of the Pharaohs and springboards off the ropes for a more successful crossbody on them. He rises and takes in the crowd’s adulation before eating a Shock and Ra that sends him out on his ass. El Hot Dog...wait, where’s El Hot Dog? The hero of POW has suddenly gone missing but the fans’ chattering make it clear something happened the cameras didn’t catch. Meanwhile in the ring Super Croak manages to stand up groggily but is quickly bashed with a headbutt from Pharaoh and takes a massive Sarcophagus Drop (Michinoku Driver) to be kept down for the pin to secure victory for the Pharaohs.

Winners via pi-

Hazard:

“GET OVER THERE YOU FOOLS!”

The camera jerks and the cameraman runs over to where Hot Dog’s team corner had been there we see a terrifying sight. Spike Daryl is struggling with El Hot Dog, trying to drive something into the inflatable hero! Hot Dog kicks him off and tries to get away but Daryl grabs him from behind and slams him face first into the ringpost! Rolling Hot Dog into the ring Daryl stalks him from behind and reveals what he’s carrying:

Dear. GOD

He brandishes his thumbtack above his head, someone in the crowd shrieks in terror as he pursues El Hot Dog, a sadistic smile on his face. He looks deliriously happy as he raises it like the (semi-literal) nail in Hot Dog’s coffin-

Shinji Kato tackles the demented man and urges Hot Dog’s teammates to get him out of here! Daryl roars and thrashes, only barely kept from Hot Dog by Kato deadweighting him. Croak and Puma, seeing the danger, drag Hot Dog away and beat a retreat to the back as the show abruptly goes off the air!</div>

DarK_RaideR · July 29, 2021

Another good show, great flow to it too as the characters and storylines begin to come together. Keep it up!

Pteroid · July 29, 2021

Paragons of Wrestling 2: The Sequel Presents

No After Credits Scene, We Promise!

Main Event

Thom Schultz vs The American Pharaoh (one of him, at least)

Winners Get the Invisible Car, Squared Circle Circus Barred From Interfering!

Deadtective & ??? vs The TPIC

The Other Two American Pharaohs vs KatGroove (Kat & DJ Swizzlestixx) vs Dreamscape: New Nightmare

Xavier Guttierez vs Earl Ray Travis

The Squared Circle Circus vs Michael Washington & Johnny Moore

DISCO Fox vs Trent Brooke vs Super Croak (w/Puma Cool)

Plus:

Time Lord & Dr. Reeka continue their quest!

Nicky Sanders addresses the condition of El Hot Dog and status of Spike Daryl!

The Announcement of Clash of the TRItans 2021!

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Paragons of Wrestling 2: The Sequel (Thunderverse)

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